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I am considering taking a break from GMing and/or quitting.
I have been GMing and playing for three years and have GMed in four venues plus local cons. This is in part because I have strong ethic toward community building and was always willing to step in, help out, volunteer etc. I stepped in on several occasions when no GM was available with little notice. I can proudly say that one store has PFS because a few of us stayed willing to GM.
But I've come to the conclusion that I was never the greatest GM and don't think I can be the greatest GM. I've had my share of moments of greatness. But I've also had sessions where nothing clicked, the players seemed bored etc.
I also think the moments of mediocrity are becoming more common and at the same time, the standard of GMing is getting better locally and I don't feel I'm keeping up.
I don't see eye to eye with the current VC. It's not a matter of animosity, but not seeing things simularly, not having the same priorities etc.
I have some social ticks that have contributed to arguments with people in the community, some of which were needless and stupid. While I am still welcomed and liked (mainly) I don't feel I have the esteem I've had in the past. This I have earned.
So my question is, both for myself and others, when do you decide to put step away from the GM screen and being very involved and becoming just another player?
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Well, my situation is not quite the same as what you describe, but here are a couple of thoughts. You may need a little bit of wisdom to pull out the good pieces of advice and ignore the bits which don't apply.
1. You talk about having different priorities from the VC, and some stupid arguments with others in the community. Different GMs have different strengths and weaknesses, and no GM is perfect. I know for myself, I try to focus on telling the story and I'm not always particularly tactical and challenging when it comes to the fights. Maybe there is one store, or one group of players, that best fits with your style of GMing. Keep running for those people, but scale back some of your efforts so that you are not running games quite so often, in so many places.
2. I often have the "grass is greener on the other side" reaction to playing and GMing. When I play a lot, I want to be GMing, and when I am GMing then I wish I was playing more. Maybe you need to play some more games, so that you remember what it looks like from the other side of the table and maybe your jones for GMing will come back after playing for a while.
3. It is a double edged sword when you have one, or a couple of GMs who are super generous with their time and run all the games at all the stores. Perhaps you are actually helping the community, long term, if you say you're not going to run so many games and it forces a couple of new GMs to step up and try running games. If those people are amazing GMs, then you can sit back, confident that the games are in good hands. If those GMs are OK, but not awesome, then it may encourage you back into GMing. You may have your moments of mediocrity, but all the other GMs do to, so you shouldn't feel pressured to be perfect all the time.
And if you really don't want to GM anymore, don't let anyone bully you into doing a thing that you dislike.
Developer
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I think there are a few answers/reasons that largely point toward the same recommendation, based on what I've read in your post.
When you get that inkling that you're starting to burn out, it's usually a good sign that it's time to play at least a few scenarios. Pushing on with GMing despite growing fatigue too often leads to more permanent burnout, so definitely schedule yourself to play more often.
That said, stepping away from the screen need not be a permanent change of habit. It sounds like you've shouldered a considerable GMing burden in your region, and you're due in for a vacation; keep that optimistic mindset as you sit down to play, thinking, "Oh wow, it sure does feel nice not to have to prep for every session!" With your GMing experience, I suspect you're fairly good at analyzing how another GM performs, so you can also use these opportunities to play as opportunities to pick up some new tricks. Rather that seeing this hiatus as defeat, approach it as a chance to improve your GMing by scribbling down notes about what really impressed you in someone else's game.
Of course, don't forget that it's not just the GMs who build the community; positive, friendly, and outgoing players play an equally important role. When you sit down at a game as a player, help out newer players, be friendly, and generally keep doing socially what you did to grow your community as a GM but without all the trouble of printing out Chronicle sheets. Then, whenever you feel like it, sign up to GM a scenario and see if your feelings and perspective have changed.
Most of all, remember that even the best GMs out there have their own moments of mediocrity—sometimes we even have several sessions worth of mediocrity in a row for whatever reason. Especially when I've botched several encounters or the like, I can start to feel less confident in my abilities. Usually that's when I really push to play a game or two to just have some fun and recharge.
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Having had an incredibly similar view (though not the same situations) I have a very short, easy answer for you.
2 weeks notice and run for the hills until you want to do it again.
Long answer:
I am not a comfortable person to be around or to be around other people. I have....proximity issues i guess (people near/touching me) and have always been and extreme introvert. Getting into GM'ing march 2012 was my way of supporting this totally cool thing that would finally fulfill my need to game.
I GM'd over a year. Much of that time was me showing up at the game store to have no one show. When I looked to expand my help and PFS influence to another game store, I started a mountain of trouble ending up with basically an us/them standoff. But I finally get a group of regulars and we start having once a week games, with new players popping in.
But my VC, who I was trying to maintain a solid working relationship with, decides not to be available for 6 months, then calls me out of the blue to confirm a con slot I volunteered for. After the Con, no more contact from him, and I get a cold contact from a (apparently) new VC. On top of that, A good gamer becomes a VL from the store that's been running effectively outside the PFS purview.
I understand that alot of this is perspective. I don't know half of what I probably need to know to make an informed decision. It's when I sat down and inventoried how I feel personally. There was an awesome high when I was running for everyone, helping out where I could, and had a plan to get VL and VC eventually as fast as was possible. The reality hit hard, when I realized that I didn't feel comfortable with how it was turning out. I was putting off game prep until the night before, and pretty much everything was starting to seem more important than PFS.
I gave my group 4 weeks notice, thanked them and tried as best as i could to let them know it was not the group, it was me (cliche, i know). I cut loose what had become a huge money sink and emotional burden.
I know I'm going to be crucified for this, but get out while you still can. I mean, leave the situation until you can feel good about it again, or you'll burn out and not want to go back at all. It sounds like you're an awesome GM, and taking a break is not a bad thing. Get your ducks in order, get your mind straight, and you may be able to go back and enjoy it again.
Owner - Enchanted Grounds, President/Owner - Enchanted Grounds
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Perhaps you are actually helping the community, long term, if you say you're not going to run so many games and it forces a couple of new GMs to step up and try running games.
And if you really don't want to GM anymore, don't let anyone bully you into doing a thing that you dislike.
Pushing on with GMing despite growing fatigue too often leads to more permanent burnout...
Rather than seeing this hiatus as defeat, approach it as a chance to improve your GMing by scribbling down notes about what really impressed you in someone else's game.
I've plucked out a few key comments that I really agree with.
Having taken a break myself during the last few months ("break" defined as cutting down to a single home game - out of three - and only GMing once or twice per month at my store), I can tell you that it is important for me to step away every now and then. Else, the burnout that John speaks of becomes reality. I know this from my Magic days. I used to play all the time, judging when I wasn't playing, and coordinating tournaments when I wasn't judging/playing. As much as I loved the game, I burned out, and badly. I sold all my cards, and haven't really touched it as a player in years. And I really used to pride myself on my level of play and involvement. I am involved as a coordinator because I must be as a store owner, but as a judge and player I no longer have any real touchstone with the game. I promised myself to not let that happen with Pathfinder.
Don't forget that it's not just the GMs who build the community; positive, friendly, and outgoing players play an equally important role.
I've made this argument many times in various threads, and it's nice to have it affirmed by someone at Paizo.
There are (usually) seven players around the table; only one of them is the GM. And I have found that the players often have more impact on how fun a game is, and how friendly a community is. If you're a fun player, you can rest assured that you are "giving back" to the community you have helped create. Stay involved that way and, as both these gentlemen have suggested, get back into GMing when you feel it's right to do so.
I suspect you will still stay in touch with your coordinators, and they will likely not hesitate to let you know if they need your help. Nor would they hesitate to let you know that what help you have provided has been essential, and appreciated. You can always come back to that in the future.
As Shadowmage said, get back to just playing while you still enjoy the game. Stay involved and come back to GMing when you feel it's appropriate.
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John's got the right of it (go figure). You've more than done your good deed by establishing PFS in a FLGS and been a primary GM for a good, long time. Play for a while. Take a break from gaming (less recommended). Grab a few folks who you enjoy playing with and try GMing WotR or play in an AP.
This may be cheesy, but there's a metaphor (analogy, maybe?) that has stuck with me for a long time: the heart's primary purpose is to provide, via blood, oxygen to all the cells of it's body. The most oxygen-rich blood goes to... did you guess it? The heart (how can it possibly provide so much without taking?!?!). You cannot live solely for others. If GMing is getting you down, stop or pause or take a hiatus or whatever you need to do.
I may only have the one star, but when I got the opportunity to play in (as suggested) a WotR campaign via our PFS meetup (in hopes, John, of eventually getting chronicle sheets for it!), I gobbled it right up.
I opened the second greatest FLGS asset to my local PFS area pretty much on my own and GM'd almost all of the games that I have GM'd back-to-back. My VC, when he needs an emergency substitute GM includes the caveat "NOT Jeremiah!"
Anyway, I hope that you are picking up what I'm putting down: if the need to take a break is wearing on you, take it!
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I don't GM much for PFS after DMing a lot in LG and LFR (the latter as a proportion...left early). In LG I DMed 3-4 sessions for every one I played. In LFR, it was about even. In PFS, it's been about 1session GMed for every 3 played; more like 1:6 in recent times.
The reasons are varied. Some of it has to do with real life stuff, and some of it is campaign specific, which I won't go into.
Take a break. There is a wide range of options between GM-everything and GM nothing. Just about everyone goes through down periods re: GMing. Take a break, play, play non-PFS stuff, and re-evaluate.
Play what you love, and live what you play.
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Taking a break is good from things and not just PFS. We all hit ruts, or real life gets in the way such as having three kids in a span 17 months in my case.
Enjoy the break and try something new.
PFS will be there when you are ready one day and you have fresh new scenario's to play and know nothing about them!
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Long and short of it is, if you aren't having fun, take a break until you start to Jones for it again. Don't let obligation control you.
I'm committed to two more games. Then I will take a break. Still play.
I will say lately I haven't GMed as much because of other commitments, but one thing that has changed is a change from the 'early days' when the community was smaller and everything was new and I was sometimes essential.
Realizing that this time is past is I guess what is important.
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I GM when it's convenient for all. This is becoming more and more frequent, as I have exhausted well over half the tier 1-5 scenarios as a player now.
Don't forget that sometimes the players seem bored because it's a boring scenario. You're just a translator for the author, not an actual author.
To me, the GM/player dichotomy pretty much doesn't exist in PFS unless we think that it does. It's not like homebrew where one person is running the show. This week, I can GM, and next week you can.
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Long and short of it is, if you aren't having fun, take a break until you start to Jones for it again. Don't let obligation control you.I'm committed to two more games. Then I will take a break. Still play.
I will say lately I haven't GMed as much because of other commitments, but one thing that has changed is a change from the 'early days' when the community was smaller and everything was new and I was sometimes essential.
Realizing that this time is past is I guess what is important.
Not only do I think that Andrew hit the nail on the head, I think you've put your finger on what is bothering you. You GM'ed when you felt needed. Now you don't feel needed and you've begun to focus on your own perceived failures as a GM.
So, maybe it's time to do what's needed again...by you. It sounds to me like you need some time off. Take that time off from GMing and don't even think about going back. Go back when and if you feel like it.
This is, after all, only a game.
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So my question is, both for myself and others, when do you decide to put step away from the GM screen and being very involved and becoming just another player?
Short Answer: Take a break, and play for a few months. Then see where you feel, and where you wish to contribute. But if you love playing PFS, you never really leave it. Even if you wish you could. You just need to find another place for you to fit.
Longer Answer:
So I came to a point recently very similar to you. I had worked myself into the ground running and organizing PFS. Along with some other issues and drama, I was ready to quit and move on as well. But before I chalked it up to "It's just me", I did something different. What I did, was that I changed up my gaming environment and went to play with other groups for a little while. This allowed me to get some "I'm just a player" time, and many times, a change of pace is as good as a rest.
I am grateful to PFS, because I have multiple places to game. I can play online, I can play in-person at game shops and conventions, I can also play by post which gives me the chance to expand my writing chops and grow my characters in a new light.
So in conclusion, before you quit, change your environment. It can easily be that you may just need to do something different in order to fall back in love with the game again. If that's not the case, and it's not fun to you, then there is nothing wrong with moving onto another game. But the choice is yours to make and I wish you all the best.
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Aramia: I'm not sure I can add much to what people have said in this thread before me.
Ive been running Pathfinder Society since about Jan of this year. So not very long. Ive recently hit 23 games so I feel like Im starting to get into the groove of things. I also enjoy running the same sessions again and again (to run a better one dammit! :) ) and Ive had a few gms state 'why do you bother doing that one again.. you wont get a second chronicle sheet'. Im not I do it because of the chronicle sheets, I just like getting back into some familiar stories.
If I was you I would take a break. Maybe stop playing for 2 weeks cold. See how you feel after that. Ive had periods of my gaming life where Ive just stopped playing (Ive never been the type of gamer that really wants to game more than that weekends). Work your way back in as a player.. just keep in mind that there might be a level of expectation that because you gm, you will always gm.. esp from players who dont know you too well. So you will likely get questions or comments about why you are no longer gming.
This could flow through to Con organisers who expect the same gms to volunteer again and again.. because thats what they did last year. Feel free to say no. Perhaps decide only to run at public game days or private game days. Whilst cons are great, sometimes Im a bit worry they destill the rpg into something that I barely recognise sometimes. Its like roleplaying to a stopwatch and that makes me very uncomfortable.
Best of luck