It is with a Cheshire Cat grin and absolutely no apologies to the gaming community at large that I announce the release of a pair of insanity-based mysteries for the Oracle base class. The kicker? One is Lovecraftian. The other is BACON!
The Cacophony
Elsewhere. It is there, just on the edge of hearing, a chorus of lost souls, dead gods, and spirits never given the chance to take shape in this universe. They claw at our universe, screaming out in timeless agony, crying out to regain an existence that once was or to gain one that never was at all. Some individuals are capable of tapping into Elsewhere and making bargains the forgotten vestigial remnants of these beings. Others aren't quite as lucky. Living conduits who are somehow attuned to this Elsewhere, oracles of The Cacophony spend every waking moment steeped in an incessant barrage of tortured screams and are doomed to eventually become one with the white noise of the universe.
Revelation Highlights:
Intermittent Insight: Every now and then, you see the terrible, undeniable truth of it all! You can choose to take 20 on a Knowledge check, but are rendered helpless for 1d4 rounds as you curl into a ball and start rocking back and forth in an attempt to process it all.
Non-Euclidean Geometry: Roll 2d10 instead of a d20 roll several times per day. Rules for "roll X and take the lowest Y" are presented.
The Perfect Bacon
You have seen it in your dreams. Bacon. Not just any bacon, but a delicious shoulder cut from the most perfectly-raised free-range swine ever conceived, lovingly marinated after the fact to make it even more chock full of bacon-y goodness. You desire this bacon. You downright lust for this bacon. The only problem is everyone else believes such an amazing piece of pork product is all part of your imagination. But it exists. It has to! And it has to be divine, too! How else could you start throwing conjured bacon salt at people? A bacon god is, of course, the answer! Your source of power is an enormous, and necessarily invisible, strip of bacon cut from a massive divine sow... and you're going to eat it!
Revelation Highlights:
Bacon Sense: You gain a bonus equal to one quarter your level to Survival checks made to track an animal or magical beast with exposed meat (described in the product as no exoskeleton, etc. etc.). If you are currently suffering from a hunger-related condition, this bonus is equal to one half your level instead.
Greasy Skin: 1 + 1/5 level to CMD against grapple, to your CMB to escape a grapple, and to your Acrobatics check to escape a grapple. At 8th level, you can bodyslam the ground to create a puddle of grease around the impact site.
Process: Deal 2d6 slashing damage per level to a touched creature with exposed meat. Fortitude for half. If this attack kills an animal or magical beast, it is also butchered, producing 1d4 sides of bacon!
Sounds like one part awesome, one part wacky. Ill consider it for the lovecraft...love, alone.