I've been fleshing out a sort of "Lost World" area in my campaign setting, of late. While it has seen no use in the past, it has drawn a significant amount of interest from the party and is definitely "on the menu".
My goal is to have two dominant races on this continent, of which one is fairly standard. The second is as follows and is based on the "Orion" race from the Star Trek series, both culturally and statistically (it is a bare-bones version, for the sake of brevity). The race is sexually dimorphic (males and females have different traits) and very specialized, which is intended. However, I would appreciate constructive comments and criticisms to help polish off any rough edges, as well as fresh perspectives. While they are not currently a race available to players, they will be in the future (there are several races in my settings which are not playable until they are "discovered" or as part of an overarching plot).
Concerns & Balance: Females
I made some modifications to the Silver Tongued racial trait, modifying the "flavor" of it as well as adding in effect descriptors to make it fit with the flavor (mind-affecting poison effect). Since it is normally an automatic effect (creatures immune to mind-affecting or poison are also immune to it with my changes), I reduced the cost by -1 RP to a final cost of 2 RP. The seductive trait is simply a reskin of the Gregarious racial trait.
Thoughts?
One thing I do not like is the mechanics of Nereid Fascination (3 rp - titled Dance of D'Nesh - D'Nesh being one of their deties). I dislike the 1/day mechanics, but recognize their place as "balancing factors". I'd like to change the way in which it works, but am concerned about balance. Below is the original text, followed by the proposed change:
Original Nereid Fascination Text (borrowed from the Undine, which actually had the duration, unlike the ARG)
Dance of D’Nesh (Su) (3 RP) T'lani females gain the following supernatural ability: Once per day as a standard action, a t'lani can create a 20-foot-radius aura that causes humanoids within the aura's range to become fascinated with her (as the bard's fascinate bardic performance) for a number of rounds equal to 1/2 the t'lani's character level (minimum 1). Targets may resist with a Will save (DC 10 + 1/2 the t'lani's level + the t'lani's Charisma modifier).
Modified Nereid Fascination Text
Dance of D’Nesh (Su) (? RP) As a standard action, a t'lani female may begin the Dance of D'Nesh, but it can be maintained each round as a free action up to a number of rounds per day equal to 1 + her Charisma modifier. While dancing, a t'lani female can create a 20-foot-radius aura that causes humanoids within the aura's range to become fascinated with her (as the bard's fascinate bardic performance). Targets may resist with a Will save (DC 10 + 1/2 the t'lani's level + the t'lani's Charisma modifier). Dance of D'Nesh is treated as bardic performance for the purposes of feats. If the t'lani possesses levels in the bard class, she is instead treated as if having the Extra Performance feat.
I'm aware the second version is significantly better, but I am uncertain as to how that might translate into Race Points. I'm considering increasing the RP cost to 4 or 5. If she takes levels in bard, the dance is obsolete and replaced by the standard fascinate - the idea behind the replacement with the feat if she has bard levels is to correct for that.
Concerns: Males
I'm not sure if it is just me, but they feel very bland to me. They're the subordinates in the society, are charged with all the menial tasks, and are the "face-men" for outsiders. I'm just not sure I'm doing them justice.
T'lani males got the same ability score modifiers as male Lashuntas?
Dot.
T'lani males got the same ability score modifiers as male Lashuntas?
I had to look that up, as I'd never heard of the race. Turns out it is in the Pathfinder Campaign Setting: Inner Sea Bestiary, which explains it. I'll have to pick that up (I usually only buy the hardbound books, but I'll make an exception in the case of a bestiary).
I'm glad you pointed that out, as I think I like the racial penalty of -2 Constitution for females more than Strength and it accomplishes more what I had in mind.
The more I look at the Dance of D'Nesh, the more I wonder if it's what I'm going for. I would love to be able to mechanically represent the "hypnotic/trance" the Orion females are able to place men under, but I'm not sure it's mechanically viable without stepping on, then bouncing up and down on the toes of the bard class.
For a quick review Lashunta can be reviewed on d20pfsrd.
Depending upon your final purpose for the T'lani, you might consider using reskinned (both metaphorically and literally) Lashunta or make them off-shot or make them different.
Thanks Drejk! The stats definitely work for what I'm going for (attribute wise).
I ended up working a bit more on the idea behind the "Dance of D'Nesh" and ended up with the following, which may or may not be more balanced than the previous two:
Dance of D'Nesh (Su) (? RP) As a standard action, a t'lani female with five or more ranks in Perform (Dance) can cause all those within 30 feet of her who are attracted to her gender (and not otherwise distracted, such as in combat) to become fascinated with her for the duration of her dance. A t'lani may maintain her dance by spending a standard action to do so, up to a number of rounds equal to 1 + her Charisma modifier. The targets to be fascinated are allowed a Will save (DC 10 + 1/2 the t'lani's level + the t'lani's Charisma modifier). Whether or not the save is successful, a creature cannot be affected by the t'lani's dance again for 1 day. The t'lani female must be wearing no armor to use Dance of D'Nesh.
The main changes with this version is it is now limited to primarily affecting males or women who find other women attractive. As written, it can be used any number of times per day, lasts only a certain amount of time, and an individual may only be affected once per 24 hours.
Thoughts on balance? Suggestions on RP cost?
I updated the google document this morning after reading a bit more of the lore surrounding the "Orions". I ultimately decided to stick with the ARG Nereid Fascination wording, but created a rogue archetype and feat to cover aspects of the females of the race.
The T'lani (Race, Archetype, and Feat)
Constructive criticism and comments are welcome.
Maybe instead of it being racial ability, the dance itself could be made into racial feat?
I think that's probably a good idea. I'll do that now and work on filling in the void in the race for the "Dance" (i.e. replacement mechanics).
Hope you dont mind but i would like to add these to an (admittedly long) list of custom races i want to design feats for. It won't be right away as my laptop is in the shop still, but i wanted to ask permission before i presumed allowance.
I made the alterations to shift the dance to a feat, as well as a feat which expands on it. In addition, I replaced the entry for the dance with a custom trait called "Savage Grace" at a cost of 3-4 points (trying to decide on the value of the trait), bringing them to a total of 9-10 points.
The T'lani (Race, Archetype, and Feat)
Hope you dont mind but i would like to add these to an (admittedly long) list of custom races i want to design feats for. It won't be right away as my laptop is in the shop still, but i wanted to ask permission before i presumed allowance.
By all means, feel free.
Gonna try one on my phone. I apologize for any rough edges.
You excel at the false leadership the females grant you.
prerequisites
T'lani, male gender, charisma 15
benefit
You gain a plus 2 bonus on diplomacy, bluff, and intimidate checks. This bonus does not apply to females of your race.
You're doing me a favor - you don't have to apologize for anything. I can't stress how uninspired I have been for the males, so this really helps.
I just got back from the gym and added it in. Time to shower.
Added in the following racial feats:
T'lani Females
Extra Dance of D'Nesh
T'lani Males
Devoted Follower
Jungle Fighter
Raider's Eye