While still in the throws of the Great Plague, the amazing "Mr. He Doesn't Known How To *Not* Produce Amazing Content, or as I like to call him, "Mr. You're Not Going To Let Nurgle's Rot Break 112+ Straight Weeks Of Product Releases Are You?", sent me a 20 page letter via snail mail that was clearly written while deep in a fever dream, but luckily (for him) the snail was well trained and managed to dictate this week's product: #1 With a Bullet Point: 8 Animal Feats.
If "Mr. You're Not Going To Let Nurgle's Rot Break 112+ Straight Weeks Of Product Releases Are You?" heroically keeping the streak alive doesn't pull your heart strings, then I'll have to play rough, because without your $1, I can't guarantee that Timmy* won't find a giant cave under his house after falling into the abandoned well his parents told him to stay away from, but Timmy just ignored them because they're stupid parents who don't know anything. And which, after being rescued, Timmy's parents (Jack and Diane) will ditch him during the opening night of Man vs Vole. When no one comes to claim Timmy, he'll be sent to boarding school. But, after burning down Buck's School For Not Gifted Youngsters, he'll be sent to, and eventually break out of, Sam's Sanctuary For Horrible People Society Hates. Then, after eluding the people looking for him, Timmy will fall down the old well again, but this time he'll make the cave his new home. With little other than the many mushrooms growing in guano he'll stalk (insert your town name here) as the Vole-man!
Finally, you better get this PDF or any of your characters with a familiar, animal companion, and/or trained pet will get eaten by said animal once they find out you deprived them of one of these amazing feats.
Without further ado, the eight feats (that will make your animal friends even more awesome than they were before you bought this) included are:</p>
- Bloodhound: You can key in on the smell of blood, and know it indicates weakness in a prey.
- Empathic Beast: Your trainer’s spiritual code has rubbed off on you.
- Great White: You are an unusually powerful creature of your kind.
- Homing Sense: You always find your way home.
- Mighty Beast: Your appearance makes your rider or trainer look more impressive.
- Sly: You are more cunning than most animals.
- Soothing Companion: You always seem to know just what your master needs.
- *Timmy Is Down A Well: You are more expressive than most creatures of your type.