i created a silly new overpowered artifact, just for the Lulz.
The Nokia Banhammer; Major Artifact
a slender shaft with some strange numerian device attached at one end, it is an unusually heavy magic hammer
This small sized hammer may only be wielded by a creature with the fey type. when wielding the hammer, it grants the following abilities;
a +6 enhancement bonus to Attack and Damage rolls as well as the keen and speed properties, which are factored into it's statistics
the ability to use the higher of thier natural base strength or a base strength of 22 for the purpose of determining attack and damage bonuses. this effective base strength is applied before applying strength enhancing bonuses from items, alchemy, rage, or whatever.
they are treated as having the power attack feat as long as they wield this hammer and have an effective base attack bonus equal to thier total hit dice.
a fey wielding this hammer feels the compulsive need to cause as much destruction as possible. every round, they must make a DC 25 will save or try to attack a creature, object or structure of thier choice. the calm emotions spell suppresses this drawback for one hour with a DC 25 concentration check.
all of your base speeds increase by 30 feet and you gain the pounce ability while you wield this hammer.
this hammer may be used to cast message at will, with no limit to word count.
this hammer chooses it's wielder. it's akwardness prevents it from being sold and there is but only 2. the Nokia Banhammer and it's Twin Brother, the Motorola Maul.
This hammer Deals 6d6 bludgeoning damage with a critical range of 15-20x4
the wielder benefits from a continuous freedom of movement effect when wielding this hammer and may use it to trace somatic components for the purpose of casting spells.
anybody who doesn't have the fey type cannot wield this hammer and gain it's benefits, not even gnomes. it's enchanted weight shows. for a fey, this small sized hammer is weightless, for anyone else, this hammer weighs 999,999,999,999,999 Kilotons.
i created a silly new overpowered artifact, just for the Lulz.
** spoiler omitted **...
Funny. ^-^
Here's my banhammer.The Banhammer, Minor Artifact
Aura strong abjuration; CL 17th
Slot none; Weight 2.5 lb.
DESCRIPTION
This +3 collision mithral warhammer of speed was forged by the seven true gods for governing the far reaches of the world as seen through the eyes of the master. When wielded by those would see the will of the seven gods done, each time it strikes an enemy it punishes them with a progressively harsh penalty before; eventually evicting them from the world entirely. Upon the first time a creature is struck with the hammer, the creature must make a DC 23 Will save or be permanently silenced (which may be removed as a curse would). The second time an opponent is struck with the hammer, they must make a DC 23 Will save or held as per a hold monster or halt undead spell for 17 rounds. The third time a creature is hit by the hammer, they must succeed on a DC 23 Will save or be sent to a plane of the wielder's choice. Each time an opponent is struck, the wielder may choose to affect them with the newest punishment or a previous one (a creature struck three or more times may silenced, held, or evicted, or all three at once).
DESTRUCTION
The Banhammer can be destroyed by attempting to strike any of the seven true gods with it. Should the hammer strike a single one, the wielder suffers damage as if hit, and must save against each effect as if hit three times with a -7 penalty on each save. The hammer then vanishes into nothingness so it cannot be misused further.