Hello, Paizo!
I'm working on a fantasy novel I've been trying to figure out how to write for the last three years. I've finally started it, and I've started a blog for it where I will likely be posting it chapter by chapter as it's written. I'm looking for as much feedback (positive or negative) as I can get, so please, anyone who's interested, give it a read!
It can be found here:
Like I said, I'm looking for as much feedback as possible, whether it be positive or negative. All I ask if that if you're going to give feedback or criticism, please be as specific as possible. I would much rather hear "You did a terrible job of developing Bob's character and you use the same adjectives way too often" than "It was good".
Thank you very much, and I hope you enjoy!
Er... bump?
Chapter 2 is up. Would it be alright if I X-posted this in the Gamer Talk forum? I assumed this would be the better place for it but I'm not entirely sure.
Don't everyone reply at once! :-P
I don't know if chapter-by-chapter criticism is the best way to go about this, but what do I know?
I'll wait until there's about five chapters up.
Chapter 3 is online, for anyone who's interested.
Dotting the thread. keep up the good work Gabe, we believe in you.
Fourth chapter is up! Thanks for the encouragement, FuelDrop!
Hey there, everyone! Sorry for the delay- I've been quite busy with some personal stuff the last two weeks (which is now thankfully over) and I've gotten back to writing.
Chapter 5 is up! I'm eagerly awaiting your review, Doodlebug Anklebiter. :-P
Alright, this particular chapter took me quite a while, but I've finally added chapter 6. Enjoy!
Chapter 7 is up as well!
Chapter 8 is up! Enjoy!
I've just finished Chapter 9. Huzzah!
I'm afraid it's very front-loaded vis-a-vis exposition. You introduce (presumably) our hero, but then we detour to this (I'm not trying to put you down here) textbook about his life and personal history. Generally it is much more effective (draws the reader in more) to start in the middle of things (medias res), often with action or with something that reveals the hero through his actions, and then work in the exposition more gradually and incidentally as you proceed.
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Actually re-perusing there are quite a few things you'd have to drop/change before publication due to legal issues. The pantheon and pretty much any capitalized creature from DnD is their exclusive material. Also, I don't want to critique too much since I dont want to come off as a jerk but some additional reading on the subject of novel crafting might help in a few areas.
When you say novel I presume you hope to publish one day? If so you might need to drop the Eladrin, elves are open source and all but I'm pretty sure Eladrin are original DnD material.
As you saw, there's plenty in it that are copywritten material- I have no plans to publish as yet, and if I ever do, sometime much further down the line, I will change whatever is necessary. For the time being, though, I'm just writing it because I want to write it.
Also, I don't want to critique too much since I dont want to come off as a jerk but some additional reading on the subject of novel crafting might help in a few areas.
If you can give me specific critiques, I'd very much appreciate it. Don't worry about coming off as a jerk- if something is bad or difficult to read, I'd rather hear the problem specifically than not.
heads up everyone, chapter 10 is online.
Thanks for the heads-up, FuelDrop. I had forgotten to update here. :-)
Hey, everyone! So, it's been a very, very long time, but I've finished another chapter of Last of the King's Men. I hope you all enjoy it!
So, to make up for lost time, I got on a roll last night and didn't stop until I had finished chapter 12. Shazam!
It's been a while, but I added chapter 13! Enjoy!
Bam! Chapter 14.
Not sure if anyone is still paying attention to this, but here chapter 15. :-)
You are keen on writing...I look to see if you can make 80,000 words.
Then we will know...you are a novelist.
Heh, I have no idea how many words I'm at so far, and I don't feel like checking right now. Also, my computer kind of broke so I my time writing has been kind of limited lately. But hopefully I'll get to that point... soon?
Chapter 16 is done! Enjoy!
Alright, so I used an online word counting tool, and so far I'm up to 49,195 words (an average of 3075 words per chapter), and trust me, it's only getting started. I think I'm doing pretty darn good so far. :-P
Latest chapter is now up, if anyone is still following.
Latest chapter is now up, if anyone is still following.
Yes, thank you. :-) Way too long of a break between chapters, but oh well. I've made it a New Year's Resolution to write at least one chapter a month. I know that isn't off to the best start, but I'll keep doing what I can.
Whew! It's been an entire year since I started this thing. Is that crazy or what? It's flown by.
Anyway, to commemorate the occasion I've just posted chapter 18. I know what you're thinking- "But UltimaGabe, it hasn't been six months since your last post!" Yes, I know. I know. Your snarkiness is noted. I will appreciate less sarcasm next time.
Anyway, have a great day!
Ha HA! Chapter 19 is up. I was on a roll today. I'm going to see if I can get chapter 20 up tomorrow. That'll be some sort of a record for me.
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!
Chapter 20 is up! Whew! Three chapters in one week. I'm definitely not going to keep up that pace, but it was nice while it lasted.
Finally! Chapter 21 is finished. Hopefully the story is starting to make some sense! Check it out at Last of the King's Men.
Chapter 22 is up!