| Zaranorth |
I’m working my group through RotR and thought I’d share the circus… adventures.
Characters:
Atticus: Elven ranger raised by gnolls, he collects “trophies” from all his kills and then uses his cooking skills to … uh, celebrate his victory.
Cinocard: Gnome sorcerer (read his name backwards and you get his bloodline) that wishes he could have been born a goblin and has somewhat of a gambling addiction. Desperately wants to fly. Has done that frequently so far … sort of as you’ll see.
CJ Deathpit: “A human shepherd kidnapped by wizards, experimented upon by mixing in troll blood so that he now has really slow regeneration, scent, a couple other ‘things’, and an affinity to use improvised weapons instead of his two-handed sword, especially if there’s farm implements nearby.”
Harper: A Varisian half-elf bard (wow, somebody normal!)
Una al Miran: An Absalomian (Half Garundi-Half Vudrani, “it’s a melting pot after all”) cleric of Sarenrae with over 20 pages of backstory and a tendency towards narcoleptic summoning.
So … yeah, quite the motley crew.
*ahem*
Session 1 - Beware of Flying Gnomes and Boiling Goblins
Una was asked by her order to travel to the town of Sandpoint to be their representative during the dedication of Sandpoint’s new cathedral. Having nothing better to do, her friends decided to accompany her. Reaching Sandpoint a few days before the autumnal equinox, the day of the dedication, the party settles in. The party decides upon the Rusty Dragon Inn, due to its cheap rates, good food, and for Cinocard, the exotically attractive proprietor Ameiko Kaijitsu. The party waits out the next couple days in relative relaxation. Cino finds the Hagfish and begins a momentous losing streak at cards, dice, guess-the-number, no-way-anybody-can-lose, holy-cow-the-gnome-can’t-even-win-this-game-against-himself, and other such games of chance.
Finally the day of the ceremony arrives. Joining the townsfolk and other out-of-town representatives, the party settles in for a long series of speeches by the mayor (fun), sheriff (boring, especially the warning about the bonfire), the owner of the local theatre (a long-winded and wandering commercial for his new play), and the new priest of the temple (who ups the fun factor by releasing a thousand swallowtail butterflies, perfect for the easily distracted gnome … Atticus eats one). The priest, Father Zantus, rings in noon and dismisses the crowd to dinner, supplied free of charge by the local taverns and inns. As the party suspected, Ameiko’s spicy curry wins the unofficial popularity contest. Even Atticus, no novice to a kitchen himself, is impressed.
Following lunch comes a long afternoon of conversations and watching children chase butterflies through the courtyard. Finally, as the sun sinks towards the horizon, Father Zantus again mounts the stage and approaches the podium. Unable to get the square’s attendees’ attention, he grins and smacks a thunderstone down upon the podium. The thunderclap startles Atticus who spins about and considers fleeing down an alley.
Laughing at Atticus’ reaction, Father Zantus opens his mouth to start the dedication ceremony, and a woman’s scream slices through the gathers. Another and another scream echo around the square, joined by a high-pitched not quite human chanting. Half the party recognize it: goblins. Making out the song, they realize that things are about to get interesting.
Chaos erupts!
A small, dark shape darts through the crowd and a stray dog under a nearby wagon yelps once. Casting about for what’s going on, some of the party notes the dog lying in a spreading pool of blood with a goblin hiding in the shadow of the wagon, licking blood off of a wickedly shaped weapon that the ranger recognizes as a dogslicer. Suddenly another goblin leaps atop the buffet table behind them. Snarling, it raises its dogslicer … and sudden gets distracted by some nearby salmon. Dropping its weapon, it grabs the salmon and starts chowing down, stuffing pieces into its pockets for later.
Being good little boy, and girl, scouts, the party is prepared for battle – fully armed and armored (gotta watch out for those dangerous butterflies after all). Atticus spins off his bow and starts firing at the distant goblin while CJ makes a grab at the one on the table; who dances away, now with a ham hock in its hand. Said goblin, suddenly remembering why it’s there, smacks Una upside the head with the ham, leaving a greasy smear on the side of her face. Another goblin darts under the table, coming at CJ’s knees while Cinocard pops the distant goblin with a magic missile.
CJ finally manages to grab the table dancing goblin and promptly dunks it head first into a large, boiling pot of lobster chowder (supplied by the Hagfish tavern). Cino jumps to the top of the table to get a better view of the fight and gets completely distracted by the sight of goblin feet kicking above the rim of the large pot. The goblin under the table darts out, and meets its end while Atticus pops an arrow through the distant goblin as it charges at the party and CJ finally feels the stewing goblin jerk one last time.
The party looks about, assessing the situation. Goblins gambol about, slashing anything and everything. Many goblin bodies lay strewn about. As one plunges from a roof to lie motionless on the street below, they realize that the goblins are doing as much damage to themselves as the party, and the town’s guard, are. Unfortunately, a few non-goblin bodies like scattered about too.
Atticus grabs a spoon and tries the goblin lobster stew. Wrinkling his nose up in disgust, he finds some salt and stirs it in. Now happy with the taste, he dishes out a bowl to munch on while looking about.
Suddenly a nearby wagon full of fuel for the night’s bonfire explodes into flame. Four goblins come from behind it staring gleefully at the fire. One of them looks at the house next to it and grins, using its torch to try to set it ablaze too. They notice the party and charge. A grizzled fifth goblin comes out from behind the wagon. Whereas the rest of the goblins have been screeching their song off-key, this one maintains a steady and well-performed variant.
The goblins reach the party before they can react and stab out with their torches. CJ suddenly realizes the hard way that one of the alchemy fire flasks on his bandolier has a leak. He strips the whole bandolier off and tosses it at the chanting goblin. The vials fall out of the bandolier as they fly, immolating the chanting goblin and the straggler who had tried to set the house on fire. The remaining goblins, staring mouths agape at the instantly charred remains, flee. Two are instantly cut down while the third manages to duck under the table to escape. Cinocard, seeing his chance, extend his claws and leaps off the table. He intended to spring upon the fleeing goblin’s back. Instead he lands face-first on the hard-packed ground of the square.
Pausing to catch their breaths, the party notes that the square is now empty save for them and the bodies. The fighting, however, is still a general din rising up throughout town. Suddenly the sound of growls and a call for help comes from the north. Racing down the street around the cathedral, they see a nobleman cowering behind a rain barrel favoring a bloody leg while a large mastiff stands protectively nearby, snarling at a goblin mounted upon a large, mostly hairless, dog-looking thing. A couple other goblins cower nearby, obviously frightened by the nobleman’s dog.
The mounted goblin wields a weapon similar to the dogslicers but mounted on a shaft of wood like a halberd, a horsechopper. It stares at the dog, and as the party rounds corner, runs the dog through with the horsechopper. With the dog dead, the other goblins regain their courage and charge the nobleman.
Atticus and Harper stop and start firing arrows and crossbow bolts, and Harper additionally begins singing to help the party counter the goblins’ chanting. Cinocard turns to CJ and screams “throw me!” CJ barely pauses as he scoops up the gnome and tosses him overhanded at the pair of goblins. It’s a perfect toss and Cinocard, his claws extended again, crashes into them like a gnome bowling ball.
CJ then charges the mounted goblin and lines up a massive kick. The goblin goes flying, flips three times in the air, and lands on its feet with a stunned look on its face. With a maniacal gleam in its eye, it returns the charge as the goblin dog turns on CJ. Una rushes up to aid the nobleman as two more goblins charge him. One of the goblin leaps atop the rain barrel to attack him … forgetting that rain barrels can only be such if they have no tops. It disappears from view as water geysers up into the sky. It eventually springs back up into view, still chanting the goblin war song.
Baring her mace, Una keeps the goblins off the noble as Atticus begins to show the prowess of a ranger: one-shotting goblin after goblin. Cinocard dashes to assist CJ as he starts to suffer from the coordinated attacks of the goblin and the dog-thing.
Finally the party finishes off the goblins, leaving the rat-dog-thing. CJ roars and grabs it by the tail, flinging it into the rain barrel a few feet away. Well, he intended to at least. Mid-swing he realizes why the weight’s wrong. Cinocard had leveled a swipe at the goblin dog, causing it to leap aside. He jumps forward, pressing his attack only to feel extreme pain atop his head. He looks up to discover he’s actually looking down CJ’s arm; and that his feet are pointed straight up into the sky. CJ had missed the goblin dog and grabbed Cino by mistake. With a yelp and a thud, Cino finds himself wrapped around the rain barrel, out of the fight. Una manages to finish off the goblin dog while simultaneously staring aghast at the flying gnome.
With that, the fighting in town appears to be ending as goblins stream out any way they can, as long as it’s nowhere near the maniacs. Harper rushes up to the nobleman and heals him while Una attends to a delirious Cinocard. The noble immediately springs to his feet, thanking Harper profusely, she is as gentle with her healing as she is deadly with her crossbow; both of which pale to her beauty. He thanks the party for saving his life and invite them to seek him out at the Rusty Dragon Inn he’ll reward them properly, especially the group’s fine maidens, angels of mercy to the innocent and death to the enemy.
Tune in next time for Part Two: Wagons Full of Food!
| cynarion |
Sounds like the party is almost as crazy as the goblins! Looking forward to seeing how they manage to keep that up! ; )
| Zaranorth |
I'm not sure who's crazier. Imagine a gnome blithely washing his clothes in the washing pool in the catacombs while the elven ranger is stumbling about trying to avoid getting kissed by a freaky flying head. The rest of the party was ... well, I'm getting ahead of myself. :)
Once I get the notes converted I'll get the next session up. All I can say is, I'll never climb down into a cellar again without envisioning it full of goblins and a very, very angry pony.
| cynarion |
All I can say is, I'll never climb down into a cellar again without envisioning it full of goblins and a very, very angry pony.
But was the pony named Bill? ; )
And at least Cinocard is keen on keeping clean. They say it's next to godliness, after all...or perhaps you shouldn't tell him that.
| Niilo John Van Steinburg |
Wonderful write-up, Zaranorth! I'll be running this very adventure soon, and it was extremely helpful to read your summary.
- Niilo
| Zaranorth |
Ok, sorry for the long pause. I've been fighting my wife over the laptop. Her character bio is now over 30 pages. Something about this being a cathartic release for her. :)
Thanks for all the positive replies. I tend to get long winded and darnit Jim I'm an engineer-turned-programmer not a novelist, so the writing is rather sad. I see it so well in my head, then I see what I wrote and die a little inside. (Rough draft, that's it, it's only a rough draft!)
Session 2 – Wagons Full of Food
Characters: Cinocard, CJ, and Una
Note: Due to jobs and families, we typically only get 2-3 hours a week to game. So the pace is a bit of a crawl. This particular session with two players not making it and the AP just started, I decided to do a one-off rather than continue the storyline. I wanted everyone available for the first few sessions. Plus this allowed me to paint the insanity that are Golarion goblins a bit more for the players.
And now ... Wagons Full of Food!
Catching a glimpse of movement down a cluttered alley, Harper and Atticus cut down it while the rest of the party is looking the other way. (Subtle way to get the missing character out of the picture right?) The others, when they notice the absence, start to head out to look for them (grr, maybe too subtle) but are interrupted by the calls of “there they are!” (My not-so-subtle "let them be" stick) Looking about with some trepidation (inherent guilty reactions much?), they notice the sheriff, Hemlock, hurrying towards them, a bared and bloodied long sword in his hands. A thin man and a plump woman follow close behind. He greets the players, thanking them for all the work they’ve done this evening helping the citizens of Sandpoint. Guessing what was coming, the party asks if there’s anything they could do. Looking slightly embarrassed, Hemlock nods, but before he can speak, the woman blurts out, “you must save them!” The thin man puts his hand on her shoulder and comforts her. Hemlock nods and turns back to the party. Nudging one of the goblins with his boot, Hemlock notes that it’s of the Licktoad tribe. That tribe is from the Brinestump Marsh area, a few miles south of Sandpoint. Which leads to Tanner Mills and his wife; Tanner Mills’ farm is between here and the marsh and he and his wife are worried that something might have happened to their children, whom they left at the farm. Tanner looks embarrassed for a moment then says, “well, the oldest is 15 so I figure he can look after his sibling well enough. But not against goblins.”
The party, sans Harper and Atticus, agree but they’re concerned that without horses, it’ll take them too long to get to Mill’s farm. Hemlock thinks for a moment and then tells them to follow him to the Goblin Smash Stables. Pulling a few strings, he gets the stablemaster to agree to supply a couple horses, along with a pony for Cinocard. Daviren, the stablemaster, also offers a silver piece for every goblin ear they collect and a gold piece for an associated name. -Above the stable doors are a collection of goblin ears, many of them with names branded into them. Goblins think that writing steals words from you head, never to be returned. What better way to offer a final insult than to write the dead goblin’s name on its own ear?- The group readily agrees, and then immediately starts thinking of ways to “collect” names.
With a waxing gibbous moon lighting the way, the ride to the farm wasn’t too dark for those without night or low light vision, but the horses still needed a steady hand and couldn’t run at top speed. The couple miles pass soon enough when Mills, leading the way upon his mule, stops them. His farm was about a quarter mile ahead.
After a quick discussion, Cinocard decides to disguise himself and try to scout out the farm. With some deft makeup, a quickly uttered spell, and a long prayer, he heads out, hoping to fool the goblins into thinking he’s of the same ilk. Entering the farmstead, he notes a couple large woodpiles, bad, something large and dead horse-shaped in the shadows of the barn, worse, and a very, very quiet kennel, creepy.
He decids to call out “food!” to see what happens. This causes a goblin head to stick out of a dormer on the roof of the farmhouse. Suddenly Cino realizes the insanity of a lone, unarmored sorcerer out scouting.
“Uh, food? Yeah! Food down the road!” he cries.
“Food? Food here!” the goblin responds.
“Uh … wagons! Wagons full of food down the road!”
“Wagons?”
“Yeah? Yeah! Yeah, whole wagons of food, and no guards!"
The goblin seems to ponder it for a moment. He turns and says something into the dark of the attic. Suddenly three more goblin heads appear.
Gulp
“Enough for all of us?” the goblin asks.
“Yeah! You and more!”
“No! No tell the others? Us only go!”
Others?! “No … no tell the others! Just us.”
Ravenous grins spread out among the four and they disappear back into the attic with the leader saying as he withdraws, “ok, we come, remember, don’t get the others!”
Whimper, yeah, you can bet I’m not going to get even more goblin attention!
Within a too-short time the four goblins come gamboling out of the farmhouse’s front door. Cinocard, not wanting to try the strength of his disguise, runs down the road coming up with a golbinesque song about wagons full of food all the while trailing a mental stream of “Crap, crap, crappity crap crap! What did I do? Why did I volunteer? What was I thinking?! CJ, Una, where are you?!” The goblins quickly pick up on the song and skip along, singing and embellishing the it.
After a couple thousand feet, the leader catches up with Cinocard and starts to question him about just where the wagon is. Mentally gibbering with fright, Cino tries to come up with an excuse that it’s just ahead. The goblin, starting to get suspicious, goes to stop him when the singing behind them stops with a triple of “urks!” and three nearly simultaneous thumps. CJ and Una had laid out a rope across the road and pulled it tight at goblin neck level after Cino and the goblin leader passes, clotheslining the following three goblins. Cino spins around to see a hail of “acquired” dogslicers being tossed by CJ and Una charging with her mace.
The leader goblin stops and asks “What was that?” Cino grabs him before he can turn and says “just stupid goblins tripping over root!” The leader chuckles and then stares hard at him.
“Where you from?” he asks.
Bleep! Where were these goblins from? Oh yeah! “Brinestump Swamp, I’m Licktoad!”
“No you not, I’m of Licktoad and never seen you before!”
“Uh … I from south side!” CJ decapitates a goblin
“Oh yeah! I got great aunt on Toadtoe Island! You know her?”
Bleepity! Bleep! Gotta keep him distracted, I know! “There’s no such island!”
“What? Yes there is!” Una brains a goblin.
The crack of its skull gets the leader’s attention to wander back to the noises behind him. “What they doing?” he asks.
“Uh, fighting over who fell!” Cino desperately comes up with.
“Huh, they usually not fight this long…” The leader starts to turn around.
Cino, frantic to keep his attention at bay, brings the island back up. “There is no such island!”
The leader’s head snaps back around, “is too!” He balls up his fist.
And thus begins a few rounds of goblin on gnome-turned-goblin catfight, complete with slaps and ear pulling, while CJ and Una dispatch the other three goblins. Finally the leader has to know what’s going on and turns around just in time to see CJ kill his final companion. He shrieks and runs, followed by a few thrown dogslicers and a crossbow bolt from Una. He’s hit, but disappears into the darkness, his wails trailing off into the distance.
The party collects the ears of the fallen goblins while Cinocard relates the conversation there, stating that he thinks there’s more. Tanner, staring at the brutal mess in the road tells them that the kids know to go to a safe room in the cellar. The party nods and heads in.
Cino, the exhilaration of surviving flowing through his veins, charges ahead and into the house. In the kitchen he finds a trapdoor open and a steady thud and creaking and snapping of wood coming from it. Thinking quickly (or not as the case may be), he jumps down into the cellar. Suddenly he realizes that this might not have been the best of plans as he sees five goblins filling up the cramped room and his companions still a ways away. Fortunately three of the goblins are busy eating the foodstores of the Mills’ while two others, the beefier of the lot, try to batter down a door in the far wall.
He quickly distracts most of them with a spell, although one persistently continues to heave at the door. Now with four sets of goblin eyes on him, Cino really starts feeling quite small. He had intended to distract the goblins and dart through the door to the kids. (Not really taking into account that if the goblins cannot open the door, could he?) Fortunately CJ and Una finally make it into the kitchen and CJ’s weight causes a floorboard to creak. He points up and shouts, “longshanks!” At that, the beefy goblin that has stopped trying to open the door grins and climbs the ladder.
Una, set at the cellar door entrance gets a free round of whack-a-mole.
Dizzy and bloody, but still very much alive, and now angry, the goblin forces its way into the kitchen. Cino, knowing the gig is up, readies himself for combat. CJ and the topside goblin enter into a vicious brawl, made more so due to CJ’s insistence on using rather creative weapons that don’t quite perform as intended. (In other words, a thrown horsechopper with a rope tied to it is a rather interesting idea; but that with the Throw Anything feat does not let one get around the exotic skill requirements for a chainspear or harpoon.) Una drops down into the cellar to lend support to Cino.
Things start looking dicey for the heroes. Cinocard is far outnumbered and running low on spells while CJ’s goblin has proven to be a tough nut to crack. CJ wails to the sky about the unfairness when the goblin suddenly rolls to the side and guzzles a potion, its wounds instantly closing. (Boy do the players hate it when monsters use healing potions. That’s a PC-only prerogative apparently.)
The cellar is small with lots of shelves making it even tighter. Four goblins, a gnome, and a human really pack the place. With so little space to move in, the goblins grin, knowing their wiry forms gives them the upper hand over the longshanks and its freaky-haired companion. They slowly approach Una and Cino, their dogslicers at the ready. The air is heavy with the smell of earth, mold, and the various jams and jellies the goblins had opened. Una spits out the final words to her spell, grins, and her plan is revealed.
A very angry pony suddenly materializes in the midst of the goblins. Goblins with extreme equinophobia. Goblins trapped in a small, dark, musty cellar with only one way out, and that guarded by a longshanks and a gnome.
The goblins freak.
Suddenly the small, tight space of the cellar works against them, not for them. Within seconds the pony rears up, as much as it can, and stomps a goblin flat. They scramble for the exit, clawing and biting each other to get out first. Cino and Una suddenly realize that it’s as deadly being between goblins and the only escape from a horse as it is to be squared off against a superior number of goblins. For a few seconds Cino and Una think they’re going to get killed via trampling, but they manage to hold back the tide. Flanked, demoralized, and just plain panicked, the goblins fall fast.
CJ finally manages to drop his one opponent and stick his head down to watch the final goblin drop. He compliments Una on her imaginative combat tactics as he drops down to help search for the children. Whom they find hiding beyond the door; they had pushed some heavy items up against the door. Cino suddenly realizes the complete folly of his original plan in a “oops” moment as Una whacks him upside the head for running ahead like he did.
Back at town the party returns the kids to grateful parents and their mounts back to the stablemaster. They gain over six gold pieces, having “discovered” all their names. Daviren just smirks at this, but gives them the gold.