Swordlord of Aldori

[Terridol]

Ok so my DM and I have been looking for any information about these guys (Role-playing wise, we got all the mechanics down). So far we have found very little. So, like the old school gamer that I am, I decided to write it up myself. I would like to get some criticism on what I have so far. Feel free to check it out:

THIS IS STILL A WIP AND IS NOT FINSHED

http://home.comcast.net/~cody.houston/PFRPG/Swordlords.doc

[Terridol]

bump

[Helaman]

Terridol wrote:

bump

Not bad - love the pic of the sword!

As for the ranking system:

Swordlord – A Page who has completed their time under the tutelage of a Lord, now has the chance to become one themselves. When the Lord allows it, the Page may issue a challenge of combat to his Lord and his Lord only. If he is able to defeat his master he will have earned the Mantel of Swordlord. Swordlords carry the weight of Brevoy on their shoulders, much like the knights of other kingdoms, and endeavor to uphold and defend it. A Swordlord has the right to challenge any member of the Aldori to honorable combat. They also can issue this challenge for Right of Leadership.

Not sure if this is the way to go... the student must best the master? Thats a big ask. The code wont allow the Master to go easy on the student either.

I'd suggest that instead there is a yearly meeting of the swordpages and the best of these chosen by three swordlord judges (either top 1, top 3, top 5 depending on number of contestents)

A swordpage, without his masters approval, can also challenge another swordlord - it's risky, likely fatal or embarrasing enough to have the student rejected from further training if they fail but it has a maverick proud slant to it that suits the Aldori

[Helaman]

Having thought more on this a yearly or bi yearly testing is really the way to go. It's a chance for swordlords to earn honour through the quality of their students and to subtly show it. It would also be an event where fathers would potentally bring the new aspirants for training as sword initiates and beg the lords to take their sons. As for political slant, nobility could attend or send representatives to hire newly minted swordlords (a win win for the Aldori as it shows their value, garners prestige and allows for Aldori to be placed in positions of influence, as well as driving up the cost of an Aldori retainer). It would be an event with a LOT of gambling.

If open to the commons it could be a big money earner for the Aldori as they charge merchants to hawk their wares.

Finally the system allows for an element of treachery, where swordlords can groom students to actually challenge their rivals rather than just aim to "graduate". A swordlord can risk a lot due to a challenge to a sword page. They would lose prestige in a close but winning match to a mere page and may lose their life if the challenger won a fight and chose to make it to the death.

[Helaman]

Just reviewed your archetype and it's better than the Paizo one.

It does mirror the initial options for the tactician but as the overall options for the Aldori are better than the tacticians, maybe consider surrendering shield use as well (they don't use them with the style anyway)

[Fiendish_Dr_Wu]

Mind if I use some of this for a background story for a character?