Writing Thread for People Who Have Nothing Better to Do (or Are Procrastinating about Something)

[Yucale]

So, I was writing on a project I have when the realization that it was a convoluted piece of (insert choice 4-letter word) started bothering me. This was a fact I had recognized before, but it started to give me a headache. So I started I new project, which is a not-yet-convoluted piece of (same 4-letter word). And I decided to post it here to possibly get advice. Here's the epilogue:

Epilogue of Unnamed Story:

The night wind pulled and carved at the fire, casting bright splashes of color and light on the red stone, and jagged shadows on the faces of the men clustered around it. It howled down the thin canyon like the tortured spirits of the dead and tugged at their cloaks like a living thing. The noise was more than unsettling, particularly considering that not far from the camp gaped the ancient entrance to a tomb. To add discomfort, night was bitterly cold in the desert, however the sun scorched during the day. The men grumbled and cursed at the circumstances that had brought them there. And the treasure seeker who had started the whole expidition.
Of course, that’s to be expected, Ari told himself. He had been distracting himself from the mutinous talk for the whole night by grmacing through a cup of decidedly awful coffee. Either the coffee would run out before the night was through, or he would dump it in the fire due to the taste. That ‘blasted treasure-hunter’ had best filch what he wants and get out here soon. The gold we’ve scrounged so far won’t satisfy these dogs for long. However much he liked Lucca, he had no desire to take a knife in the side for him. Which would certainly happen to Ari as Lucca’s unofficial right-hand man if the thief didn’t get the crew back in hand... and soon.
“An’ that swarthy scoundrel won’t even tell us what he’s gone back in the bone-pit for,” the main dissenter continued. He was completely heedless of Ari’s disapproving glare. The hireling was one of the few Lucca and his small mercenary band had taken with them from the Western mainland. Ari regretted it. The man was loud and filthy and nearly pure muscle, and taunted Ari about his lack of brawn a bit too often. He also ate far too many of the rations and drank. Ari thought his name was Jorish, but he could be mistaken.
“Last I heard, he didn’t answer to you.” The speaker this time was on Ari’s side. Diego, third in the band’s hierarchy, had the fortunate habit of preventing the humiliation of either of his superiors. Though Ari knew that Diego held hopes for control of their band, the smooth-talking fighter was content to let Lucca do the work of building up the gang. If it ever came to a head between Lucca and Diego, Lucca’s current luietenant was content to stand aside and wait to follow the victor. Ari himself had no desire to lead. Diego, with his affability and prowess with a dagger was a much better face for a band than thin, scholarly Ari. “Don’t complain about your sun-starved face at Lucca’s expense, my friend,” Diego went on, framing Jorish’s words in a more negative light.
Some of their native guides laughed along with Diego at Jorish’s expense, though they hadn’t been offended by his comment. Jorish himself just scowled jovially at Diego.
“Aye, but we all came along on the understandin’ that we’d get a fair cut o’ the profit, an’ here Lucca goes off nosin’ around that cave of his for more trinkets, when we went an’ counted out the loot allready.”
“He’s looking for something that’s of little value or use for honest men or bandits.” Only Diego would get away calling this group of cutthroats ‘bandits’ to their face when this was a relatively honest job. The fighter looked over to Ari and raised an eyebrow slightly.
Ari set his gaunt face into the most sinister, emotionless expression he could manage and slipped some violet powder into the palm of his hand from the bandolier where he hid most of his potions and tricks. Only Diego and Lucca knew about most of them. He leaned forward as the wind howled even louder. Lucca had made sure that the rumors about him were spread in this crew for precisely this eventuality. Ari sat farther forward, knowing he had to make his performance swift. All eyes were on him, the hirelings’ wary, Diego’s glinting with amusement. Suddenly the fire gave a peculiar moaning shriek, like the tortured cry of a ghost, and leaped skyward in a sudden rush of dark violet. Everyone but Ari and Diego nearly fell of their seats; some did.
The silence was taut with fear until the fire subsided and the gold tones bled out the purple. The crew continued staring at Ari, who turned his attention to the now-normal fire and took another sip of his cooling coffee. Diego smiled nonchalantly at the crew, his men more than Lucca’s, and definitely not Ari’s.
“Certainly this trip is ill-omened,” a large, deep-voiced guide said, staring with more fear than dislike at Ari.
“Well, as I say, it’s best to have the uncanny stuff on your side while business gets done then wash your hands of it. We’ll be going in the morning when we can see our way up out of this canyon, anyway.”
As the guides turned to muttering among themselves, Diego caught Ari’s attention and mouthed Well done, witch. Ari ignored him, wiping his hands clean on his tunic. He felt like telling Diego exactly how much that powder had cost him. And their troubles weren’t over yet. The silver-tongued diplomat had bought them some respect and kept Jorish’s greedy nose out of their business, but fear soured fast. Their more loyal men had been left waiting a considerable distance away from the top of the cliff. Lucca had best finish his business quickly.

Ari was dozing near the fire, cold coffee in hand and supposedly standing sentinel, when Lucca finally emerged from the tomb. Though Ari was hardly as superstitious as his friend Diego, the dark figure emerging from the gaping mouth of the tunnel did startle him. He dropped his coffee, then regained his composure.
From what he could see by the starlight and the dying ember’s glow, Lucca was covered in dust and grime, but there was the light of triumph in his eyes. He didn’t seem to have fallen afoul of a trap during his solitary exploring, either.
The band’s leader stirred the fire a bit, then grabbed some jerkey from a nearby pack, obviously famished.
“Thought you didn’t believe in ghosts.” Lucca kept his voice low.
“I don’t. Should I wake Diego?”
“No. Let him sleep. I’ll show him our treasure in the morning; you get to see it first.”
Ari would have rather been sleeping as well. He stumbled after Lucca past the firelight. When they were far enough away to avoid disturbing the sleeping crew, Lucca lit a torch. Ari leaned back against the canyon wall, torn between his intense curiousity and fatigue and knowing that he didn’t have a choice in the matter.
Lucca slipped something over his neck and held it up to the torch’s glow. It was a small vial of amber liquid, the vial fashioned with exquisite craftsmanship from jade and gold and it had some runes on it; the chain it hung from fashioned from gold as well. The vial was fashioned in the shape of a closed flower, its sides sloping gently like petals. Covered with dust and ancient, somehow the solution within hadn’t settled over the years. Ari held his hand out. Lucca, beaming, passed it to him. “Is it some sort of potion?” Ari held it reverently. It was warm to the touch and tingled as if with electricity. It was either magic, or an even rarer chemistry that was made by a people long, long before the earliest histories.
“Can you read the writing on it?”
“No, I don’t think so. What is it, Lucca?”
Lucca’s smile glinted in the torchlight. “It’s what I’ve dragged you all the way out of the West for. It’s the secret I’ve been keeping from you and Diego, and it’s going to make us rich. It’s going to put our name down in history. I had to hunt down the least mention of it. It has the power to bring back the legends and shape our sorry world anew, Ari.”
Ari gave his dramatic friend a flat, skeptical stare.
“That vial can bring back the dead and command life itself. It’s immortality.”

Sine I don't want to waste forum space, and I'd like to read some of other peoples' work, feel free to post your writing here and discuss the pastime. And no stealing ideas.

[yellowdingo]

BLUE SUN:

The Cruiser began reeling in Serenity. They would have to be real polite to the purple bellies that would burn their way through the hatch if they were even slightly slow with getting it open.
"Hands of Blue!" River collapsed on the floor against the hatch to the flight deck and drew Jayne Cobb's attention with a nasty memory.
"Oh hell!" If it was who River thought it was they would be lucky to live long enough to welcome them aboard.
"Dont worry Mal! Me and River’ll come and rescue you later."
Jayne Cobb scooped River up and hurried toward the airlock. They needed off the ship now.
Cobb forced the twitching girl into a suit. "Hey, focus!" Jayne Slapped River on the cheek and drew her full attention instantly.
"Suit up!" There was nothing they could do for the Doc and Kaelee, and Mal and Zoe would be on their own when it went ugly.
Vera. Jayne strapped the weapon to his suited form and watched River pull her favoured ‘Reaver Cleavers’ from their place of concealment in the Airlock. Jayne cycled the Airlock and they were in Space. The Hatch cycled again and they were locked outside.

Outside the Cruiser hard-anchored with Serenity. Jayne and River moved along the hull of Serenity to best point and jumped to the Cruiser. They needed to be over the flight deck for this and well out of sight of Serenity.

The Blue Gloved collectors scoured the vessel. She wasn’t there. She wasn’t inside nor outside on the Hull. They would get her location from the others eventually. Perhaps they had left her at a safe haven, and by the looks of it in the care of the one named Cobb.

"All right! You can be angry with me later for leaving your brother behind, but I figure that you and I are their best options for escape if we are on the outside." River Tam nodded at her annoying brute of a companion. He was right.
Pain. Mal screamed and bled until his heart could not take it. Niska was nothing compared to these bastards. He coughed on blood and laughed.
"This is what we are going to do. You are going to Ride their ship to where they take the others. Once they go in, they will take a shuttle down on account of these big buggers don’t land. You will ride that shuttle down and Signal me. I will go back for the Serenity when they ditch it to space and come for a Landing. Sound good?"
River smiled. It was a good Plan.

Torment. Zoe screamed as Mal watched. Her anger fuelled her. It would only take one mistake and all these blue gloved bastards would be dead.

Cobb drilled in above the latrine he knew was there from the last visit and fitted an Air Hose. River stared out across the mammoth vessel at the stars. "Beautiful."
"Now, this is going to give you air for your journey. Once they move to launch the Transport Shuttle, you will need to move quick."
"Tam? You OK?" River nodded. "I'm OK."

River could feel them torturing her brother. She really wasn’t OK about it. "She's on WHITEFALL, with Jayne Cobb. Just stop hurting them." Kaelee couldn’t let them torture him or the others.
This one had spent a lot of time with River Tam.

They made Kaelee Scream.

"I'll be waiting for your call." Jayne Cobb retreated toward Serenity leaving the small woman attached to the Alliance Cruiser.

:)

Jayne Cobb stared at the distant facility with the rifle scope for a while before turning to address his companion. It sat across a mile of open desert. They would be exposed to the sensors the instant they left cover of the rock that now sheltered them.
"And you are certain they have the Doc and the others in there?" River Tam nodded. "All right Girl; when can we move?"
"First window in eighty seconds...mark." River Tam turned the trophied axes taken from her encounter with the Reavers in her hands until she had the balance.
"Are you sure you don’t want one of my guns?" Cobb was feeling concerned that she still carried those blades. "I know you are fond of them and all."
"I'm fine." River smiled. Their relationship was coming along fine. At least he respected her as his better in the killing arts.
"Once at the first waypoint we have to stand there for eighty three minutes before we run for the next." Jayne hated the idea of having to stand that long in the open sun without water.
They fell quiet for a long while before River broke the silence.
"Five." River tensed her grip.
"Four." She felt Cobb ready himself.
"Three."
"Two."
"One."
Zero. They surged forward at the same moment and ran forward toward the first scanning null.

:)

Jayne Cobb stood at the threshold of his prize and waited.
It was a stupid gorram plan anyway. Serenity was his. All he would have to do is turn and walk back up to the flight deck and leave Mal and the others to die at the hands of those Alliance bastards. He thought about it. He promised her he’d be here. What the Hell, she wouldn’t be the first woman angry at him. Cobb turned and walked toward the upper gantry stairs.
Jayne noticed the Reaver-Cleaver spin past the corner of his left his eye a few seconds after his foot touched to first step up to the flight deck gantry. He paused as it cut through a wire strut and embedded itself in the metal framework of the steps.
She was alive. She was angry, she was in a killing mood, and she was here.
Jayne turned toward her.
“You find them?” She looked like shit. Suit must have caught fire during atmospheric entry.
“…you O.K.?” River ignored Jayne and walked slowly toward him with her remaining Cleaver bouncing in her left hand.
“Whoa there darling, I’m here aren’t I?” He put a hand up in protest and backed up against a metal railing. Her booted shin snapped into his groin like a hammer. Jane dropped heavily on his knees.
“Damn it woman…what the hell are you doing?” A kick to the head and he was on his back with River Tam straddling his chest like a saddle and her cleaver blade jammed up beneath his right armpit. River Tam closed for her prise and bit him on the lip hard before pulling away.
“Missed you.” River’s voice was seductively playful.
Jayne Cobb looked at the strange turn of events straddling his living corpse with concern; Looked past her at the cleaver embedded in metal and back at the one jammed up under his armpit.
“So I noticed. I’m hoping that was intentional.”
River smiled and shook her head. That was discouraging. That one meant fifty-fifty in crazy girl language. Jayne Cobb closed his eyes and felt the load on his chest lighten.
“So…did you track them?” Was she still there? His eyes snapped open and he looked about. The Cleaver under his armpit was gone. She was working on the one embedded in the Steps.
“They’re not far off.”

I'm procrastinating something terrible on this piece of fan fiction. I shouldnt be; I know where I want to take it...but you know its just...blocked.

Its almost like I should pass it off to another Fan and have them write it for a while. basically a community Project.

[Charles Evans 25]

Yucale wrote:

So, I was writing on a project I have when the realization that it was a convoluted piece of (insert choice 4-letter word) started bothering me. This was a fact I had recognized before, but it started to give me a headache. So I started I new project, which is a not-yet-convoluted piece of (same 4-letter word). And I decided to post it here to possibly get advice. Here's the epilogue:

** spoiler omitted **...

Some errors in spelling or typing: expedition, grimacing, lieutenant, already.

Whilst it's not 100% accurate (and won't necessarily pick up where you've accidentally typed one 'real' word but meant another) a spell-checker on a prgram such as MS Word is a useful tool. The more up to date versions of MS Word have options where suspected spelling errors are highlighted as you type (or - if you don't turn it off - even 'auto-corrected' to what the program finds to be the closest obvious match).

[Charles Evans 25]

yellowdingo wrote:

** spoiler omitted **...

I'd like to be able to assist, but doubts about my own writing ability/judgement aside, I know absolutely nothing about the Serenity canon.

I hope you can find someone who is familiar with it to help... :)

[Yucale]

Charles Evans 25 wrote:

Yucale wrote:

So, I was writing on a project I have when the realization that it was a convoluted piece of (insert choice 4-letter word) started bothering me. This was a fact I had recognized before, but it started to give me a headache. So I started I new project, which is a not-yet-convoluted piece of (same 4-letter word). And I decided to post it here to possibly get advice. Here's the epilogue:

** spoiler omitted **...

Some errors in spelling or typing: expedition, grimacing, lieutenant, already.

Whilst it's not 100% accurate (and won't necessarily pick up where you've accidentally typed one 'real' word but meant another) a spell-checker on a prgram such as MS Word is a useful tool. The more up to date versions of MS Word have options where suspected spelling errors are highlighted as you type (or - if you don't turn it off - even 'auto-corrected' to what the program finds to be the closest obvious match).

Yeah, I'm suspicious about my spelling so far, but I'm leaving that editing, which is unnecessary for the rough draft itself, 'till later.

And I can't even find the spell checker on the word program I'm using.

[Kajehase]

Online spell checker.

[Ricca Adri' Thiakria]

I have several writing projects started - one of which is a half finished book. I know how the story goes - it just needs to be typed out.

Why do I procrastinate? lol - I don't know. It's irritating, especially since I don't procrastinate on anything else.

[,]

Posting for the dot, to show interest and because I think a separate, dedicated "Hey budding Writers? Lets get together and learn" part of the Forum would be a very wonderful and good idea.

[Nebulous_Mistress]

So it's not wrong that I'm procrastinating/putting off writing House MD fanfiction?

Awesome.

[Charles Evans 25]

As a further note, I believe there are a couple of Golarion-specific 'fan fiction writing clubs' around on the internet, one of which is Zuxius' Pathfinder Chronicler forum.
That doesn't help much, admittedly, if you're either looking for comments on a piece of non Pathfinder fiction or not in tune with the culture of the forums in question.

Edit:
And I can recommend crossword puzzles as a means of improving wordpower and spelling. (Assuming the compiler can spell correctly in the first place, that is...)