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I would like to propose the following definition of when you are flat-footed:
"A creature is considered flat-footed with respect to a foe if it has not been able to prepare itself for an attack from that foe."
On your initiative on any round, you prepare yourself for attack from any creature you are aware of and have identified as a foe.
You remain aware of foes unless they disappear completely (Total Cover/Concealment).
A foe can disguise its intentions to you (i.e. that they are a foe) with a bluff check. This is generally the way that opponents catch each other flat-footed if combat doesn't begin the second that they meet one another.
For example:
Party meets Orcs. They don't fight straight away, but begin with some abuse. Eventually one of the Orcs initiates the combat. He rolls his bluff check - anyone not sensing this is flat-footed (whether the other Orcs are also caught flat-footed depends on just how organised the Orcs are).
The Party has a rogue who uses Stealth to hide behind Cover. When the opportunity presents itself, he charges an Orc and does a Sneak attack on him (because that Orc was flat-footed with respect to the rogue).
The rogue now does a withdraw action and hides behind the cover again. The Orc saw him do this, but still needs to move so that he can see behind the cover if he's not to be caught flat-footed again.
What do you think?
Richard
Careful, you are going to start another "OMG Stealth doesn't work in combat!" thread. :p
That aside, I very much like that definition, and is in fact pretty much how I run things. My thought is if no one knows the rogue is there, the rogue should be able to charge and get sneak attack. The whole "it's not a sneak attack because everyone sees you and prepares themselves for you the second you step out of cover - even though they wouldn't be able to if this was the start of combat" bugs the heck out of me.
That's pretty much how I run things with respect to rogues.