Last night I was running my campaign, my overly vocal player disagreed with the rest of the party on how to approach a situation. 10 minutes OoC talk went on as my players argued on working for the bad guy, or trying to kill him, despite the four armed guards that he had in the room, and possibly more on the way. Tempers got hot, the tension was high and my girl player got upset when he said "Oh you're stupid!" Not actually meaning it, of course, he meant more on the lines of "That's stupid", but still her feelings were hurt, and the usually quiet but extremely nice girl told him not to say things like that. "Well do whatever you want, but don't ever call me stupid." And you could tell by tone of voice, and her expression that she was clearly upset.
Everyone told him that they disagreed with his way with the situation, so after I managed to calm everyone down, he said "I cut my head off, because this is getting stupid." Now I'm really making him sound worse than he really is, usually it's a blast to RP with everyone, including him, but I'm growing concerned. What happens the next time their opinions come to a head? I mean, I managed to get everyone back on the same page, we took a break, came back and put the campaign in high gear for the rest of the night.
I guess I'm asking how do you experienced DMs deal with situations like this? I've DMed a couple times before, but this sort of thing is brand new to me.
Well... First thing is not let things reach the level they did. I know, you said this was the first time you had to deal with it. You weren't prepared.
But in the future, if you see things heating up like they were, call a break. I'd recommend 15 to 20 minutes. Enforce a "no game talk" rule, and make sure everyone doesn't do anything, or talk about anything, campaign related. Within reason of course. You can't be expected to follow everyone around.
I find that when things get a little tense, it is usually because people are tired, hungry, thirsty, or bored. Or even worse, some combination. So making everyone step away, figuratively and literally, usually does the trick. They can get some air, snacks, drinks, splash water on their faces, whatever.
With that being said, sometimes things boiling over ends up being a good thing. As you said, the group came back more focused afterwards. Sometimes people need to vent...
You should only be concerned if this becomes a habit.
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These situationsa re never easy to deal with. I agree that a first step is to call a break. Maybe make a snack run - that kinda forces the conversation away from the game. MAybe run out and get dinner. Start a conversation about some movie or book unrelated to the game and get people a neutral topic to discuss - usually they'll jump all over it because it's a "safe" topic.
Sometimes the players work out an equitable solution. Sometimes the minority bows to the majority. Sometimes Bob McLeapsalot charges in and the party cleans up his mess. Sometimes things are still heated and you need to call off the game until next meeting.
Do what you can to remind everyone that they're friends before things get too bad - that usually helps.
Of course, if diplomacy fails there's always Plan B™*. ;)
Not responsible for loss of friendship, personal injury, getting sued, or if you end up sharing a cell with a guy named Ben Dover.