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The land
The campaign will take place mostly in the Southern Hinterlands. This is an area of mountains, broken foothills and scrub heading further south to desert. The mountains are high and snowy, effectively blocking rainfall from the north, and are covered in thick pine and azalea cloud forests on their upper flanks. Lower still, species adapted to the increasing lack of water predominate – cacti, yuccas and other succulents as the mountains turn into hills and then out into the dry plains.
The area is fairly thinly settled, with most habitation centred around water sources and the few trade routes to the north. There is one main centre of civilisation, the City of the Five, but it seems to have little interest in dominion and most settlements are small self-governing towns and villages. In addition, there is a significant population of nomadic humanoids – in particular, goblins, gnolls and dragonborn – who wander the region. Ruins of unknown provenance dot the desert, and are mostly avoided as cursed.
The areas to the east, west and south are relatively unexplored and unknown. North of the mountains is the wreckage of the Hajputene Empire, which collapsed amid failed military adventurism, civil war and orcish invasion about a century ago. It is a fertile land, but now most comprises warring petty bandit kingdoms and orcish warbands.
The inhabitants
Humans
Most humans are descendants of Hajputene émigrés who headed south following the trade routes while the Empire still stood. They make up most of the population of the towns and villages in the region, and are generally self-sufficient and open-minded individuals, hanging on to a mixture of Hajputene culture mixed with more local customs.
In addition, the inhabitants of the City of the Five form a distinct human culture in the Southern Hinterlands. Worshipping five living deities, they claim that the city has existed “for ever”, certainly predating any other historical empires. City-dwellers tend to be cautious and insular, rarely stray from their homeland, and are dismissive of other cultures as “inferior”.
Dragonborn
The majority of dragonborn are nomadic herders, roaming across the region with their herds of reptilian herbivores, though a few have taken up a settled life in the human towns. The dragonborn split into different bloodlines, which reflects their different breath weapons, though an individual band or tribe will often comprise members from several blood lines. The tribes themselves vary in how they deal with outsiders; some a relatively friendly, while at the opposite end of the spectrum some are actively hostile and attack trespassers in what they regard as their territory.
Every few decades, the aggressive tribes gather together under a charismatic leader and attack the established settlements, particularly the City of the Five. Such assaults are normally rebuffed with such terrible dragonborn casualties that it takes several generations for the nomad populations to recover.
Dwarves
Most dwarves live in small settlements in the hills and mountain passes, eking a living as traders, bandits and miners. Their civilisation was largely destroyed by the orcish hordes that ultimately destroyed the Hajputene Empire, though with their longer lifespans and memories the dwarves cling bitterly to their old ways with greater tenacity that the more adaptable humans.
Only one of their “deep delves”, or underground cities, remains occupied by dwarves, the redoubt of Zarrenkar. While retaining a shadow of the grandeur that once filled the halls with dwarven artifice and industry, it is now an insular and xenophobic kingdom falling into decadence, its cavernous spaces now mostly empty.
Eladrin, elves and half-elves
The fey races inhabit the cool mountain forests. The elves live in their rustic villages and patrol the woods, challenging or waylaying intruders as they see fit. The eladrin form the hereditary nobility, though they lack an interest in oppressing their elven subjects and largely leave them to their own devices. They inhabit mist-cloaked towers and engage in their own inscrutable interests.
Trade or other contact between the fey races and the other inhabitants of the region is rare, as the townsfolk and the nomads have virtually nothing the eladrin or elves want or need. Occasionally, a curious elf ranger or eladrin noble may stray into the lands of their neighbours out of curiosity, and may even stay for a few decades. Half-elves often result from such sojourns, though they are nevertheless extremely rare. Their fey parent almost never takes them back to their homeland, seemingly out of embarrassment, and they are instead brought up in the towns where they are left.
Halflings
Halfling caravans ply the trade routes across the region, from the City of the Five, though the mountain passes and across the wreckage of the Hajputene Empire. Traders, tinkers, irrepressible thieves and bearers of the latest news, the visit of a halfling band to an outlying village is both eagerly anticipated and dreaded. The larger settlements often have shantytowns where halflings live semi-permanently, often despised for their larcenous ways, though few individual halflings will actually reside there for more than a few months.
In addition, a substantial minority of halflings have integrated more fully into the societies in which they live, giving up their itinerant ways and settling down. Most blend in fairly imperceptibly, though some still suffer prejudice due to the activities of their less conventional cousins.
Tieflings
In its latter years, the nobility of the Hajputene Empire began to mix its bloodline with extra-dimensional entities, such as fey, demons and devils. This was intended to strengthen lineages which had grown increasingly effete, decadent and inbred and forestall the collapse of the empire they commanded. While the experiments failed to prevent the ultimate collapse, they did result in the creation of a new race: the tieflings.
Reaction to tieflings varies, with some considering them abominations, others treating them as just another exotic race amongst many, and all shades in between. They can vary in appearance from fairly monstrous to barely perceptibly different to their human forebears, though all carry a whiff of otherness about them which causes them to stand out. A few attempt to retain the airs and graces of the nobility from which they are descended, though most are just normal individuals trying to make their way in the world. Few in number, most tieflings live amongst the other races in the larger towns.
Goblins
The desert goblins form small wandering tribes or live in semi-permanent camps near water sources. They are generally peaceful, being small and relatively weak, and live by hunting nocturnal small game and gathering grubs and roots. However, a tribe will often engage in low-level thievery and occasional banditry if they think they can get away with it (and their naturally cautious nature means they will rarely attack a target capable of offering resistance without overwhelming numbers). Consequently, goblins are little trusted, though some trading between them and the other races takes place on an infrequent basis. Desert goblins are between three and four feet tall and have large bat ears, hairless wrinkled skin, pug noses and jet back eyes with long lashes.
Gnolls
Gnolls are generally rapacious hooligans, travelling in bands and attacking outlying villages and nomad encampments for food and booty. Gnolls might trade with a well-armed and numerous party, but more generally they will attack anyone they come across, shooting with their bows from afar and sending their hyena hunting packs to engage in melee. Gnolls are generally unwelcome in civilisation, and are generally attacked on sight.
Orcs
Orcs are creatures of the mountains, and rarely stray into the desert. After defeating the dwarves, and with their numbers swelled by a series of mild winters, they broke over the already ailing Hajputene Empire like a wave, bringing it to an end in a tide of blood. Fortunately, the orcs have spent the remainder of the last century fighting with the human successor states and with each other. This has acted as a check on their numbers and prevented them from eying the Southern Hinterlands for possible conquest. A few orcish chieftains have attempted to establish petty kingdoms for themselves, but these rarely last beyond the death of the founder. Most orc leaders lack such vision, and simply spend their days in a haze of internecine violence and death.
History
The Southern Hinterlands existed at the southern border of the Hajputene Empire. The mountain chains that divided the Empire from the lands beyond acted as a fairly secure barrier, and the dried-out scrub and deserts beyond provided little incentive for conquest. As a consequence, the Empire was content to ignore the area as it concentrated on richer territories further north. The only settlement of any real size was the City of the Five, and as its unfathomable divine rulers showed very little interest in extending their influence beyond their immediate environs the Empire did not initially feel a need to concentrate on its southern borders. Enterprising Hajputene merchants headed through the mountain passes to trade with the City, establishing way stations that turned into towns and villages. However, the status of these new settlements was left fairly vague, and the imperial military presence within them was light.
The status quo changed about one and a half centuries ago. The Empire was suffering from senescence, with its further-flung provinces were becoming restive and the loyalty of its governors suspect. Meanwhile, the Imperial Court was mostly engaged in vicious internal politicking and the quality of the imperial administration suffered as factional loyalty was elevated over competence. In order to stamp his authority and gain prestige in order to wrest more control to himself, the new tiefling Emperor Gajeshnan VI decided he needed a quick show of force.
As a consequence, he decided upon the apparently simple task of annexing the City of the Five to the Empire. Marching south through the mountains at the head of his army, with the royal household in tow, Gajeshnan confronted the tiny army of the Five a few days ride north of the City, hoping that a show of force would cow its rulers. Instead, in a titanic display of magical power, the Five obliterated the imperial legions almost to a man (and leaving a blasted place plagued by undead to this day known as the Bonefields). With the leader of the empire dead along with his key advisors and heirs, the Empire proceeded to distract itself with a series of civil wars over the succession to the imperial throne and breakaway provinces. Unable to properly defend its borders, the rising orc menace in the southern mountains eventually broke what was left of central authority about a century ago. The orc horde of Skrarg Bloodeye killed the last emperor, Gajeshnan XI, in the final battle for the imperial capital, Hajput.
Following the collapse of the empire, refugees from the chaos headed south towards the relatively safe havens of the Southern Hinterlands. The hundred years has been a relatively quiet period of consolidation under the disinterested suzerainty of the Five.
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Qom
The town of Qom is the largest settlement along the main trade route from the old Hashputene Empire to the City of the Five. It marked the furthest official southerly extent of the Empire, where the old Imperial Road from the north ended and the City Way continued south. While trade is lower than in the Empire’s heyday, Qom nevertheless remains a busy trade town, mainly shifting goods such as salt, residuum, minor magic items and exotic foodstuffs from the City to the barbarian kingdoms north of the mountains in return for grains, cloth and ores.
Qom also acts as the unofficial capital of the foothills region of the Southern Hinterlands, being easily the biggest community between the mountains and the City. As such, it is a relatively cosmopolitan place, with people from several races and regions visiting or living there. The majority are Hashputene humans, though halflings and dragonborn are also common, with an additional smattering of City merchants, dwarves from the hills, forest elves and haughty tieflings.
The town is run by a descendant of the last military governor of the region under the Empire, who retains the title of Tribune. Tribune Darshastha is generally considered a canny and just ruler, his main focus to ensure the security of the trade road and maintaining peaceful relations with the City of the Five. He has little formal sway over the more outlying settlements but has influence through the wealth borne of trade, his grasp of diplomacy, and his control of the Qom Lancers, a relatively small but highly-proficient cavalry. Nevertheless, beyond the near stretches of the Imperial Road and the City Way, the Tribune’s authority is only absolute within the town itself. Any attempt to expand through force could meet with the fatal displeasure of the Five, which limits the Tribune’s ambitions.
The town is mostly composed of mud brick dwellings with baked shingle roofs, clustered behind a wall of timber and earth. The wall is about 10’ tall and, while hardly impregnable, acts as a reasonable deterrent to the disorganised tribes which are the main threat to the community. There are two gates: Imperial Gate to the north and City Gate to the south. These two roads meet in the centre of the town at Temple Square, the main open space in the settlement where there is a vibrant market full of haggling vendors hawking their wares. Above the town, on a promontory of red stone, sits the Garrison, home to the Tribune and the barracks for the Lancers.
Outside the walls by Imperial Gate is the caravanserai, mostly filled with grumbling camels but also the occasional tethered skywhale. Nearby is Halfling Town, a slightly ramshackle collection of huts and wagons for the itinerant halfling community. Beside the town runs the Springflow, which alternates between a raging torrent as the winter snows thaw to a stony streambed in the dry season. However, the water still flows underground even in the driest periods, and deep-dug wells and cisterns of rainwater keep the town from thirst at these times. Around the town are orchards, dusty fields and a few outlying hamlets and farmsteads, giving way to scrub and cliffs. The Springflow heads south and down into the desert where it eventually disappears.
Imperial Road
Imperial Road heads north from Qom, winding through foothills towards the high mountain passes. It is an impressive testament to Imperial engineering skills, being in relatively good repair even a century after the Empire’s collapse. It is cobbled, cambered to ensure water runs off it, and crosses a series of rivers and valleys on sturdy stone bridges. Along its length it has regular way-shelters, and among the foothills of the Southern Hinterlands there are villages and fortified inns serving passing travellers. South of the mountains it is patrolled by the Qom Lancers, but up amongst the high mountain passes trekkers must provide for their own security. The main dangers on the road are highwaymen and large predators. The first town of any real size along its length after Qom is Varata, formerly an Imperial border town north of the mountains and now the capital of a petty kingdom ruled by a bandit prince.
City Way
City Way is not an Imperial-built road, but was made long before to facilitate trade with the City of the Five. The City is twelve days’ ride south along the road from Qom, but only the portion immediately below Qom is patrolled by the Lancers. Instead, a series of small fortresses have been built along its length, manned by troops from the City. There are four forts in total, equidistant from each other, and these also provide facilities for travellers. The soldiers have little interest in the lands beyond the road, which remain wild and contested, but attempts to disrupt traffic on the road are greeted with deadly force. The usual hazards are undead that wander from the Bonefields, gnoll and dragonborn raiders, and thirst.
The City of the Five
The City sits on an escarpment above the northernmost extent of the Salt Rift, protected on all sides by steep cliffs. The City itself comprises a large temple/palace complex of marble walls and golden domes, surrounded by garden plots, orchards and modest housing for the rest of its inhabitants and arranged around a central oasis. As such, deific splendour mixes surprisingly with the mundane lives of its citizens.
While the City is home to five living deities, they are remote from the general population, only seen from a distance at major festivals. The edicts of the five are disseminated through the High Priest of the Five, and City is administered by a council of clerical Regents reporting to him. The main trade is in salt and residuum, both of which are mined from the nearby upper reaches of the Salt Rift, which are used to buy foodstuffs and other basics hard to obtain in the desert.
Most of the inhabitants of the City seem happy with their lot, living unremarkable but cosseted lives away from significant danger, and virtually all are enthusiastic followers of the Five. The worship of deities other than the Five is not permitted within the City. Worshippers of other gods may freely honour their own deities in private, but attempting to convert a local, proselytise or establish a temple is strictly forbidden.
The Salt Rift
South of the City of the Five, the ground begins to fall away in a series steep cliffs and barren white plains, plunging deeper and deeper into the earth until it flattens out into an immense shimmering salt pan almost two miles beneath the general level of the surrounding desert. The heat is even more oppressive and the sparse signs of life disappear almost completely. Here, strip miners from the City, often felons serving their punishment, carve out blocks of salt and ply the thin veins of residuum.
The complete extent of the Salt Rift has not been accurately surveyed, but it is a roughly star-shaped depression perhaps two hundred miles or more across. The City sits at the north-eastern extremity of one of its out-flung arms. The mines occupy only the nearest portion on the Rift, and the deeper parts are almost entirely unknown, as the generally unliveable terrain makes exploration extremely hazardous. Rumours abound of strange creatures twisted by prolonged exposure to residuum, lakes of boiling mud or caustic pools of water tainted with poisonous minerals, and odd ruins projecting from the white crust as if they were half-buried.
It is possible to circumnavigate the Rift, but the regions around it are claimed by some of the most murderous dragonborn tribes in the Southern Hinterlands. Many consider it a religious duty to execute any non-dragonborn found in their territory, and they also raid the mining camps of the City looking for captives to sacrifice.
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Our heroes gathered at the caravanserai at Qom, strangers united only by their need for work. They were:
Fluxx (Matty), eladrin noble and cleric of Corellon. A dissatisfied wanderer, aesthete and dabbler in the arcane, he had settled in Qom and was looking to found a temple to his god. But temples require money, and he didn’t possess much. Hence his interest in mercenary work.
Kravis (Nick), paladin of the Raven Queen and trainee executioner. While his attempt to join the ranks of the sacred executioners of the Lady of Destiny was thwarted by the sabotage of his rival, Orris Gar, Kravis was left at a loose end and low on funds. But a big axe can do more than sever the heads of the condemned, and so he sought out the promise of a wage.
Dumpling (Tim), a happy-go-lucky gourmand and (incidentally) light-fingered halfling rogue looking for lost relatives, her father wanting to gather the clan one last time before he died. Following on the trail of errant cousins, she found herself in Qom, but the lure of the road and paid passage to the City of the Five saw her looking to join a caravan.
Klondike (Mark), a human ranger with his faithful wolf companion, Kuki. As a boy, Klondike’s family were killed by orc raiders. Living a feral existence since then, Klondike had come down from the mountains to trade and looking for a brief job to tide him over.
Little did they know it, destiny had chosen these four for greater things (dun dun DUN!).
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Having seen the tattered notice in Temple Square, the party headed to find the cleric of the Five, Hapnar Izvis, who claimed to be looking for guards for his slave caravan. However, when they arrived, the jobs had already been taken by none other than Orris Gar and his cronies – a pair of tiefling siblings of ill-repute and haughty manners, Dazmitra and Ashkoram, and a brutal dragonborn mercenary, Skullface.
However, Fluxx’s silver tongue managed to elicit a grudging introduction to Red Cloud, a dragonborn caravan master. Red Cloud’s men had been attacked just outside Qom by kruthiks, repugnant hive-dwelling insect/reptiles, and four were carried off. While the men were doubtless dead, Red Cloud wanted the group to recover their shell amulets. In dragonborn tribal religion, each dragonborn retains a fragment of shell from the egg from which they were born. This is fashioned into an amulet which is necessary for proper funeral rites, to prevent the soul of a dead dragonborn from wandering after death. Red Cloud wanted those amulets recovered from the kruthiks’ lair so his men could be properly put to rest.
The party picked up the trail of the kruthiks at the caravan’s last stopping point, south of Qom on the City Way. Tracking the kruthiks was tricky but in the end, after a tiring march through the hot sun of the Hinterlands, they found themselves at a sinkhole by a rocky ridge just as the sun was setting. Initial examination indicated that the place was, or had been, a goblin warren, but the kruthik tracks clearly led inside and down the stairway/ramp that circled the cleft and descended into darkness. Scouting out the hole, Dumpling and Klondike found three kruthiks on guard duty, two smaller specimens and one larger, at a wider landing about 50’ down.
Luring these kruthiks up to the rest of the party, they were kept bottled up at the entrance to the lair and killed with relative ease. Coming down to the landing they had occupied, a brief check found a ladder carved in to the stone leading up to a narrow ledge, where they found the sole survivor of the goblin tribe which had lived here. The goblin, Gok, was weak from hunger and thirst and initially incoherent with fear, until Kravis’ timely intervention with his a cold scowl and his proffered axe concentrated his mind.
Gok described how the kruthiks had arrived about a week ago, led by strange humanoids the size and shape of men but with the faces of goblins. (Were these the hobgoblins of fable, rumoured to exist in remote places on other continents and worlds? pondered Fluxx.) The kruthiks slaughtered the tribe, only missing Gok where he hid at his lookout post. From there he saw a big black flying lizard arrive from above and descend through the sinkhole to its depths. Too scared to try and escape, he was busy dying of thirst when the party arrived, and he scampered to safety once they had dealt with the kruthiks at the entrance.
The group decided that the best course was to descend swiftly and deal with the dragon in the depths as the priority. Ignoring the tunnel on this level, they delved further, following the circling stairway as it led down and deeper into the caverns. At the next level down, they met two more large kruthiks which they battled on the stairway. They nearly spilled one over the edge, to fall to its doom in the dark, but it managed to cling to the edge. Kravis held the line, standing between their gnashing jaws, while Dumpling, Klondike and Kuki harried them and Fluxx inspired their attacks and healed their wounds with Corellon’s grace.
After that combat, they found themselves in some sort of throne room, presumably the chieftain’s audience chamber. However, the copious bloodstains showed how the goblins had met a grisly end. With further cautious scouting, the party found a branching corridor, one branch ending at a ladder down deeper into the complex, the other in a room containing three of the strange man-goblins and their kruthik guard dog. Also in this room was a peculiar apparatus, seemingly comprising a framework of bent metal and arcane glowing crystals, upon which were suspended twitching inhuman viscera.
The group decided to lure these enemies into the throne room and despatch them there. However, they discovered that these hobgoblins fight well in unison, forming a phalanx that was hard to penetrate. They killed the kruthik and the hobgoblin sergeant, expending themselves mightily to put a quick end to them. But they allowed the hobgoblin foot soldiers to escape down the ladder. Following along behind at a slightly slower pace, the party descended to find four more hobgoblins, including the two escapees, lined up behind a shield wall in the next room, a hobgoblin sorcerer backing them up from behind. However, the party fell upon them in a rain of steel and divine power, finally punching through their defences, isolating the fighters and cutting them down. But the hobgoblins fought with bravery, cunning and puissance, with the battle-caster landing several telling blows with a staff imbued with the power of thunder. But they could not prevail, and finally all fell.
Beyond this chamber, they party found themselves at the bottom of the sinkhole. At the far end of this large chamber a pool of water lay still and silent, while mushrooms grew about in profusion. Cautiously stepping forward, and expecting a dragon attack, the group spread out and, where possible concealed themselves. They were not disappointed, as a dragon the size of a warhorse burst from the pool and doused Kravis with its acid breath. By this time, the party’s reserves had largely been spent, and the fight turned into a desperate battle to hack through the dragon’s defences before they fell themselves. Blossom attacked it from hiding, then engaged it in hand-to-hand combat, while Klondike peppered it with arrows. The dragon invoked its dread majesty, stunning most of the party with fear as it moved about the cave attacking at will. Then Kravis laid down his challenge to the beast which it ignored at its peril, and soon the beast was surrounded by implacable foes. Sensing that it was in genuine mortal danger, the dragon surrounded itself in a cloud of black cloying darkness and, using this as cover, it burst into flight and headed straight up, out of the sinkhole and to escape in the night sky.
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The second instalment, written by Tim, Dumpling's player.
SNR – 15th February 2009
A great victory for us, we could pick our fill of a lovely selection of juicy mushrooms. Before long my sacks were bulging. Fluxx suggested we did not stay too long lest the dragon returned. The others searched in vain for its vast hoard and found but a few gold and potions. Not to worry though, we had the mushrooms.
After a short rest, we had breakfast of bread, cheese and cold meats. My mouth drooled at the thought of fried mushrooms but a fire was not popular with my friends.
Once more we went into the tunnels. I scouted around in the darkness. ‘What madness that Halflings were not blessed with night vision.’
With some lovely sneakiness, a unique ability of Klondyke the Ranger to smack anyone who so much as looked at his doggy Kuki, party co-ordination much helped by Fluxx and Kravis appearing to have one brain (Matty playing them both), and we had soon slaughtered three more batches of kruthiks, collected up the four shells amulets, a pittance of treasure and then stopped for lunch. Fried mushrooms hmmmmmm.
Our wonderful leader suggested we haul the control contraption back to town and sell it. I presumed so that we could buy some more food.
Back at Qom we bumped into a nice Arcane posh bloke called Terim Arkamar who gave us lots of money for the contraption and asked us to escort it to the ‘City of the Five’ to a man called Regent Clargius. Interestingly his favourite food was date and walnut cake, but unfortunately my many sacks of food did not harbour such specialities, so I planned to get them from the City.
With my sacks full, my friends and I, the contraption and the nice bloke, set off towards the City of Five on a skywhale (hydrogen-monster). Everything went well until some Southerners (dragonborn warriors mounted on pterodactyls) blasted us with fire arrows, the hydro-monster exploded and we all fell to the sands below. Fortunately I had already prompted the pilot to make for the land and eaten my fill.
I was extremely annoyed that the Southerners had interrupted lunch and a lot of it had been wasted. They would get a severe telling off next time we met. (The crew and Terim were killed in the fall, which the party miraculously survived.)
Fluxx had a quick check on water and provisions and realised that with my sacks, we probably had enough for a few months, although he didn’t really factor in my appetite. Fluxx cast a spell to make us all cool in the sun so we picked up the bits of the contraption to take with us.
We trekked our way across the sands and wilderness. It crossed my mind that we were in dire straits having not stopped for elevensies but we pressed on. Kravis and Klondyke appeared to be walking with their eyes closed and we soon got lost.
On the second day, having eaten a good wholesome breakfast (hmmm more mushrooms), we bumped into a patrol of gnolls. They were tough. I stuck one from the side with blows that would have felled even Kravis but the gnoll stood firm. They pelted Kuki the wolf with arrows and he ran behind the rocks wimpering, with Klondyke close behind. With some brave and commendable strategy, our leader positioned us so that we could quickly take down one gnoll at a time. With their morale shattered, the last two turned and fled.
A quick search turned up the usual minimal treasure and no decent food. We had a few currant buns from the ‘sack of plenty’ and continued through the sands until at last we had a way station in sight - a fortress along the City Way. But as we approached we noticed something was wrong……..
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Part the Third, by Matty.
A reminder of our heroes:
Fluxx (Matty), eladrin noble and cleric of Corellon.
Kravis (Nick), paladin of the Raven Queen and trainee executioner.
Dumpling (Tim), a happy-go-lucky gourmand and (incidentally) light-fingered halfling rogue.
Klondike (Mark), a human ranger with his faithful wolf companion, Kuki.
Extract from Flux’s personnel memoirs
Having been shot from the sky and crash-landing in a very hot desert, which we trudged through for 3 days, I was finding it a little uncomfortable - especially with my endure elements ritual spell ingredient running out. Our water was also running out, but our little cook did a sterling job and kept our spirits up with her larder of food & drink.
Eventually we came across the main road and also one of the many ‘City of the Five’ small forts dotted along it. Saved we thought, but no: the large doors on the gate house were open and no sign of life with smoke coming from the inside.
We sent Dumpsey and Klondike on a stealthy scouting mission to make sure it was safe after a very brief look see they called me and Kravis over. We then all went inside the courtyard. Halfway across, “Lookout” shouted Klondike and he ran back towards the gatehouse with Dumps hot on his heels. Me and Kravis looked around to see the former fort guards rise from the earth in the form of undead skeletons; some of them were on fire, presumably the ones causing the smoke, and these proceeded to throw fire balls at the two of us while some of the others drew bows . After the exchange of fire we were both badly wounded (our two so called companions escaped unscathed inside the gatehouse). I then managed to get to shelter but Kravis, being a fearless paladin of the Raven Queen, stood his ground (or, some might say, stayed in view) and was knocked off his feet by a lethal barrage of missile fire and melee attacks from some bigger Skeletons.
Klondike and Dumps proved to be ineffectual inside the gatehouse so I decided to lead a charge to save Kravis.
With my holy symbol held high I ran into the middle of the undead and spoke Corellon’s name which smote and afeared some of the bony undead. My actions rallied the troops and they also charged into the fray. Kravis got to his feet and helped me to heal the party through the battle. They proved to be a tough match and and it took time to kill just one of them. With some luck blows and with most of us on fire due to fire ball attack Me, Kravis and Dumps went down, knocked unconscious. I cannot say what happened then, but the next thing I knew Klondike was ramming a potion down my neck. My health restored, I managed to revive Dumps and Kravis. We them gathered our momentum and started to make short work of the flaming skeletons. Klondike, after his brave rescue, fell unconscious too with the pain of the burning flames. We eventually defeated the skeletal force and rest the night in the gatehouse before we explored anymore of the fort.
The next morning, after a hearty breakfast from Dumps, we opened a door to one of the towers which turned out to be a prison. Inside we found a very interesting apparitions which turned out to be a very dangerous. One of the former guards had been split in three (with very powerful magic, I believe) to form a skeletal ghoul (the "skinned" we called it), his flayed skin (the "skin" ) and his spectral spirit. We fought in close combat and found the skin to be a smoothering type of monster, with it trying to envelope his opponent. We soon found the best way to deal with these creatures was to retreat a little and let Klondike fire his newly found fireball bow into the tower, it nicely toasting the evil inside to a fine crisp.
With the winds of victory pushing us on we decided to turn our attention to the stables. We found inside a horde of undead rats of various sizes which swarmed out and attacked us, I managed to vanquish some with my holy "turn undead" power and Klondike again proved useful with his bow of fire. Dumps found a Dagger of the Duellist which she seemed very happy about (maybe our cook will be more than useful being a cook).
We then looked at the main keep and saw two entrances: an upper and lower one. With the use of some rope we managed to get to the upper one and entered the dimly lit keep. Kravis booted down the first door he came across - it turned out to be a small shine/temple to the Five. Standing in the middle of the room was a ghostly apparition of the former City of the Five priest. We started to converse with him and tried to put things on a friendly footing but our insight and arcane skills let us down and he turned on us with undead fury. Luckily, during our conversion we had surrounded him and once the battle started we brought down our full offensive force, and after a few hard rounds of combat he tried to escape through the wall. But he was to late and disappeared under our sword and axe blows.
There is more to this keep to explore; I do wish we find water soon I need to bathe and rejoin polite society, my new friends are friendly bunch but there conversation is some what limited.
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Part the fourth and fifth, by me.
Having defeated the shade of the priest, our stalwart heroes set out to further explore the keep, still looking for precious resources of food and water. On the same level as the small chapel of the Five, they found a common room for the fort's sergeants and the office of the fort commandant - all empty. In the office they discovered his log - while comprising mostly rosters for the men and other administrative details, it included a comment concerning an increase in gnoll and undead activity. Its last entry, entirely routine, was about three days prior to the arrival of the party - whatever it was that struck the fort came without warning and with deadly swiftness.
They headed further up the keep and on the next level found the living quarters of the commandant, as empty as the level below. Dumpling found a jewel box and, after disarming the routine trap, pocketed the contents (for future party funds, she said). The next level up was the keep roof. Again, it was deserted, but they had a panoramic view of the area. To the west was the desert they had come through, and eastwards were the Bonefields. The road stretched away south and north. On the roof itself was a stable for the wyverns the couriers of the City of the Five use, though it had no occupants.
Heading back down, with Klondike and Dumpling scouting ahead, at the entrance level they found the castle refectory. Unfortunately it was occupied by zombies and their deathlock wight leader, former guards blasted dead by whatever had assaulted the keep. One zombie was lured up the stairway and slaughtered in its confines, but the deathlock was sufficiently savvy not to fall for such a ploy and mustered its troops back downstairs. The party descended to take the battle to the enemy and the remaining undead were swiftly despatched. Still finding no water, they headed down into the castle basement.
Scouting ahead, Dumpling found that here were the kitchens and, through the larder door, she could hear a vile chomping and slobbering noise as something large was munching on the supplies. Creeping in and then making a bold assault, the party found the hideous bloated undead remains of a gnoll the size of an ogre, so grotesquely swollen that its skin was splitting under the strain in places, as it gorged upon the castle's rations. With several deft blows they swiftly brought it low - though not before Klondike took a huge punch from its meaty fist. But as they fought, they themselves were ambushed by swarms of undead severed hands which had lurked in the fireplace. And as these clawed flesh and clung to clothing and hair, to their horror the vile giant gnoll rose up once more to battle, weakened but still with deadly carnivorous intent in its piggy eyes. But with trenchant hearts and gradual attrition, the gnoll-thing was downed once more and with finality, and the swarm of claws eventually stamped out. And - joy of joys - the kitchens had a well. They had found their life-giving water at last.
They swiftly explored the rest of the fort but found no more inhabitants, living or undead, and then bedded down for the night. The next morning, refreshed and reinvigorated, the party set off down the road towards the next fortress, several day's walk away. Fortunately, as Fluxx had refreshed his supplies of residuum at the chapel, he was able to cast his ritual to ameliorate the effects of the desert heat. As the morning passed, they spotted the dust of approaching riders coming towards them. Squinting against the sun, they realised that they were in fact undead riding skeletal steeds and swiftly took to cover at the side of the road. As they riders passed, the party ambushed them, pelting them with missiles while Kravis marched out stoically to meet them. The leader wore the insignia of a captain of the City of the Five, but his cohorts were dressed in ancient armour dating back to the Hashputene Empire. Irrespective, the undead cavalry were swiftly brought to a permanent rest, and among the spoils of victory were recovered the ancient Hashputene armour, which Fluxx recognised as being eminently collectible and therefore valuable, while Kravis obtained from the captain's corpse bracers to increase the power of the blows with his executioner's axe.
After a trudge of two days and one night, the party finally arrived at the next fortress along the City Way. This was fully garrisoned and had already received the alert of the undead menaces lurking to the north - from, of all people, Kravis' rival and nemesis Orris Gar and his cronies, who had arrived the day before after fighting past the fortress of undead. Kravis immediately stated that he thought that Gar was behind everything, to which Fluxx sarcastically replied that Gar the Evil Overlord was obviously working as a lowly caravan guard just "to keep his hand in" if the Evil Overlord racket ever fell through. Notwithstanding, the fortress commander, Captain Lymflava, immediately engaged the party to scout out the Bonefields and find out what was causing all the recent undead activity. They sold their booty, re-equipped and reprovisioned, and as the sun rose the following day set out.
The captain had given them some guidance as to the lie of the land in this section of the Bonefields. He explained that a streambed running east dipped into a twisting gorge which eventually ran out on to a broad, empty plain covered in strange crystals. Beyond, further to the east, is a low range of hills upon which, it is thought, the Hashputene army was encamped before its destruction by the Five. In a shallow bowl between these hills is the Bloodstone Rock, generally considered to be the epicentre of undead activity in the Bonefields.
The party found the dry riverbed as described and soon the walls of the gorge rose above them. Tracks, gnoll and humanoid undead, could be found at intervals. Dumpling carried out reconnaisance and, as the party marched behind her, found a small encampment of gnolls and undead blocking the way forward. Dumpling returned to her comrades and, as she explained what she had seen, a group of two gnoll berserkers accompanied by skeletons dashed round the corner of the canyon - obviously Dumpling's skills of concealment lacked somewhat on this occasion. The gnolls charged forward, getting ahead of their skeletal cohorts, and immediately plunged into the fray. Fluxx tried out a new trick he had been perfecting from his study of arcane magic, and summoned a cloud of flying daggers. While this hindered the gnolls very little, it despatched one skeleton that entered the cloud immediately and hindered the approach of the others. Dumpling climbed up a nearby boulder and attacked with thrown daggers, but one skeleton held back and fired back with its bow, inflicting several cruel wounds. Kravis hewed mightily and Klondike and Kuki worried their flanks, and eventually the gnolls fell and the skeletons were smashed to flinders.
However, this only dealt with some of the forces arrayed in the gorge. Dumpling crept back, to find more skeletons and two gnoll archers. Hoping to lure more back to the jaws of death, she attacked and destroyed one skelton to get their attention, then took up a concealed position behind some brush to ambush more as they came past. This they duly did, with one powerful skeleton surrounded by lesser types, the gnolls hanging back to snipe. Again Fluxx unleashed his cloud of daggers and the fury of Corellon, but the skeletons barely noticed it on this occasion. But Klondike and Kuki unleashed a series of brutal attacks on the lead skeleton, and as the shards of bone flying round destroyed its own followers as well as inflicting grievous wounds on the party, they destroyed it in short order. Dumpling and Klondike moved in on a gnoll archer, taking it down, but the other fled back up the canyon. So swift was it that only Kuki had a chance of catching it. Kuki gave chase and the pair soon disappeared from sight. But Klondike rounded a bend in the streambed to find Kuki standing over the fallen gnoll, its windpipe in his jaws. To add to this victory, the party recovered an amulet to fortify the wearer, which Kravis took as his due.
Eventually the walls of the gorge dropped away and the group found themselves on a desolate plain, across which swirled dust devils and a foul stench. Dotted about were strange, man-sized dark purple crystals but otherwise there was no sign of life, animal or plant - just shifting sand and scoured rock. Fluxx examined the crystals and asked Klondike to obtain a sample. Klondike chopped with his axe and knocked of a chip, but also was hit by a necrotic backlash and received a minor injury. Fluxx theorised that the crystals might be the remains of plants, struck and transformed by whatever magics the Five had unleashed in destroying the Emperor's army, and that they might be converting the desert sun into necromantic energy. He further surmised that the crystals might be perpetuating the Bonefields as a region of undead activity by providing a constant influx of necromantic power.
While such studies were doubtless fascinating, the party still had a job to do. The range hills described indeed squatted across the plain to the east, and they trudged off in that direction. With the featureless plain offering few clues by which to judge distance, what looked like a march of a few hours to the hills eventually required an overnight stop in the crystal field. The party set camp, lit a small fire and Dumpling rustled up some victuals. They set watch and settled back. The plain was a eerie place at night - the wind howled and the crystals gently sang, while seeming half-heard whispers at the edge of hearing murmured softly. The sky was bright with stars and a half-moon, and a thin rime of frost coated the rocks. But soon more urgent whispers made themselved heard and trudging across the sand came a troop of spectral soldiers, drawn by the life forces so rarely present here. The group attempted a half-hearted parley but the outcome was never really in doubt, as the translucent warriors surged forward, maddened at the intrusion. Their leader, dressed in the uniform of a Hashputene officer, surrounding himself with a deranging aura of horror that infested the brain with insane and deathly impulses, plunged into the fray with his men. He reached out and with a touch inflicted a momentary madness upon Kravis, forcing him to attack (but fortunately miss) Klondike. But the miasma of madness was broken as Fluxx smote him with the radiant power of Corellon, and the rage of the Raven Queen further harried them as Kravis' axe hacked into their insubstantial bodies. The officer was swiftly put to rest and slowly the fight turned the way of the party, holy power against deathless abomination. Finally the last soldier gave a banshee shriek as he attenuated into scraps of ectoplasm and vanished, and the party were alone one more on the plain.
Unsettled but determined, they settled down once more for the next day's assault on Bloodstone Rock.
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Part Six by Mark, Klondike's player.
After a disturbing night fending off more undead – or was that more indigestion from Dumplings cooking - we set off once more towards our destination. Once more bolstered by Fluxx’s heat enduring spell, we had a scare at one point it – the hills seemed as if they were moving towards us but it turned out to be an optical illusion. /Phew
We spotted numerous dust devils swirling around across the landscape as we continued towards our goal. Whilst marvelling at our surroundings we once again almost failed to notice the threat when 3 whirling and swirling masses of sand, bone and rock attacked us. They turned out to be mighty quick and before we knew it they had charged into us and knocked some of the party many feet away leaving them prone on the ground.
After the initial shock we regained our footing and initially opened up from range and melee.
Klondike hit two with the flaming burst from his bow, Kravis through his Javelin. It was at this point that Fluxx discovered whilst trying to grant Dumpling Combat Advantage that standing close to them left you blind and confused. Ummm this wasn’t going to be easy. In true style we then spit the DPS as we tried to dispatch the enemy. Klondike and Kuki engaged with one enemy at close range and proceeded to activate his strongest powers to dispatch it quickly. Kravis meet with one in a successful attempt to show it who was boss. Fluxx and Dumpling engaged the other culminating in a manifestation of Fluxx’s mighty power as one of the undead air monsters briefly fled the combat. Klondike received a mighty push and landed many feet away not getting up. Kuki bravely carrying on the attack. Eventually the monsters went down one by one as the radiant damage from Kravis and Fluxx seemed the most effective. Fluxx once more demonstrated an awesome amount of healing power as the party recovered from the ordeal.
As we neared what we believed to be our objective we spotted a number of Gnolls with Hyenas guarding a cave entrance. We crept closure and managed to surprise attack them. We had prepared ourselves for a coordinated assault which although initially successful with Dumpling almost single handedly downing the first Gnoll. Klondike partially surrounded received a number of close hits and went down under the onslaught. Kravis engaged the closest Gnoll whilst Dumpling and Fluxx engaged the Hyenas, the remaining Gnoll went to range to use his bow on us. Fluxx used abilities to there full and managed to partially heal Klondike so that he could return to the combat. Kravis’s Gnoll and one of the Hyena’s were dispatched with ease but the remaining Gnoll archer tried to make a run for it into the cave. Unfortunately for it Kravis and Fluxx were quicker as they blocked its path. Subsequently surrounded by the remaining party members it was easily dealt with. The remaining Hyena fled. Once again Fluxx called on awesome healing powers to restore the parties health.
Dumpling and Klondike crept into the cave, one moving quieter than a mouse. Across a bridge they spotted a cluster of Skeltons, a powerful looking Gnoll and what we shall call ‘The Lich King’. Spotted they quickly withdrew back to the entrance to await the attack. After a few minutes of nothing but the rumbling of some like clouds we decided to take the fight to them. We entered the cave and found two of the Skeletons blocking the bridge. A quick shot of the flaming bow dispatched them. Kravis engaged the Gnoll who was standing in the middle of the bridge. The Gnoll tried to push Kravis off the bridge into a mist cavern below. But Kravis was like a block of granite. Dumpling and Fluxx momentarily stayed at distance whilst Klondike and Kuki joined Kravis on the bridge fighting the Gnoll. The remaining Skeleton’s shot bow’s and then blocked the exit from the bridge. The Lich king used a wand to attack and weaken the party. Dumpling and Fluxx both used minor but effective AOE to clear the Skeletons from the bridge end before engaging with the Lich King. Fluxx invoked the power of the Gods and caused the Lich King to flee over the cavern edge whilst we despatched the Gnoll, although he did try and push more of the party over the edge. /Cheer
We looked over the edge searching for signs of the King. Fluxx heard climbing noises but instead of the King more undead was climbing out of the mist from below. With Fluxx, Klondike and Kuki forming an impenetrable wall Dumpling and Kravis manoeuvred for position. We engaged and dispatched the majority of the climbing undead as the King rose from the mist. Fluxx manoeuvred to allow Kravis a prime King bashing position. The King knowing that he had met his match unleashed a stunning force affecting the complete front rank of the party, then moved to a central position in the combat. Unfortunately the party were unable to resist its effect until Fluxx used an ability to enable Kravis a second chance at resisting it effect. Those of the party who were able to, attacked the King at close range. The quick thinking Fluxx who by now was basking in the knowledge that they were a master of their arts utilised an ability granting Klondike also a second chance at resisting the stunning effect. Thankfully Klondike (and may he forever bow down at the magnificentness of Fluxx) resisted and quickly dispatched the Lich King. /Victory
We searched for treasure and were somewhat rewarded /Sigh. Hopefully that will be the end of the undead menace and vengeance for the deaths at the fort.
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Part Seven, by me.
The party emerged triumphant from the cave, having smote the gnoll witch doctor and the undead king. Their journey back to the fortress was uneventful and, after a few days, they returned. After resting up and receiving their richly deserved reward, they hired horses and set off down the City Way for the City of the Five to conclude their business with Regent Clargius.
After a journey of two days and one night, the group finally arrived at the City. It sat on a high hill or mesa above the northern extremity of the Salt Rift, the sun shining off the golden cupolas of the Temple of the Five, a huge palace complex. The architecture was mostly composed of rounded, circular buildings with few straight lines in evidence. Apart from the temple, most of the common folk were living in modest farmsteads dotted closely across the mesa and clustered around a central lake, and entry to the city was by a well-defended, narrow road that wound up the side of the hill the the city proper.
The City guards were fairly cold with "heathen outsiders", although a caravanserai and inn near the entrance to the proved more welcoming. The locals seemd healthy and well-fed, but hardly rich, and they seemed to share an insular attitude that didn't welcome strangers. The party stabled their beasts and headed off in search of Regent Clargius, the nearby guards grudgingly pointing the way to the Temple.
The Temple itself was magnificent and huge, a series of building occupying the whole of the southern portion of the City. Temple guards in magnificent golden armour stood impassively by the gates, beyond which lay extensive gardens. A few more enquiries led to Regent Clargius being found in the Temple Library, where they were greeted by one of the librarians, Julian. Once the party explained why they had come, he led them to the Regent.
Clargius (and Julian) seemed much more friendly than the other locals that had been met so far. When Fluxx explained about finding the kruthik apparatus, he became quite intrigued and gladly took up Fluxx's offer to assist in researching the item, meanwhile offering the rest of the party a place to stay in the Temple guest quarters. There they rested for a week or so, until they received a summons to see the High Priest of the Five. Word of their derring-do to defeat the undead menace had spread and the High Priest wished to meet them.
Meanwhile, two other pieces of important news came to the party's ears. Firstly, Orris Gar and his cronies were also in the City, having taken the patronage of Regent Sartorius, in charge of the residuum mines. The other was that Dumpling's cousin, Pudding, had been resident in the City. However, he had been arrested for stealing (surely not!) and sentenced to the self-same residuum mines in the Great Salt Rift.
Before the audience, Dumpling did some research and discovered that the High Priest was very fond of walnut cake, so she whipped one up as a present beforehand. They then entered the presence of his Holiness only to find Orris Gar and his crew present as well - apparently, their actions to fight off the undead at the fort had also been recognised. The High Priest himself was a very elderly man, somewhat hard of hearing and seemingly semi-senile. Dumpling presented her cake and, after it was tested by a guard, he happily tucked in while the audience unfolded around him. A court official asked Fluxx to explain their role, which he did at some length. Then Gar began to speak, downplaying the party's role and magnifying their own exploits. The mood quickly turned ugly, insults were exchanged, and then suddenly Skullface, Gar's dragonborn henchman, grabbed for his weapon. He barely lived to draw it - Klondike and Kuki killed him in seconds - and the audience chamber erupted in uproar. Before things degenerated too far, the High Priest pounded the floor with his magic staff, and everyone was thrown flat by the impact.
"Be quiet," he said, "I'm eating my cake."
The party were bundled out of the chamber, and for a moment things could have turned grim. However, as Skullface drew first, he was seen to provoke the attack that killed him. Nevertheless, both Gar and his cronies and the party were expelled from the Temple. Gar's crew disappeared, but the party took up residence in the inn at the caravanserai. Clargius expressed a certain degree of regret that Fluxx could no longer assist him in researching the kruthik device, but nevertheless he felt they were near a breakthrough and would be in contact in probably the next week or two to take the research to the next step. Meanwhile...
While the party cooled their heels and waited for Clargius, a singular event occurred. Four huge winged beasts appeared, heading in from the west of the City. These resolved into three gigantic wyverns, piloted by hobgoblins and carrying gigantic armoured trolls, and a black dragon with a single rider. In formation they landed by the lake at the centre of the City. A crowd gathered, swiftly joined by a troop of Temple guards. It turned out that the rider of the dragon was a human, dressed oppulently and wearing a truly huge hat with a long exotic feather. The trolls formed his honour guard, the motif on their shields being a tower composed of riveted plates like those held by the hobgoblins in the kruthik cave. The black dragon also looked familiar, even sporting scars in places where the the party had hit the one they encountered previously. The human declared to the guards that he brought greeting from "the Lord of the Iron Tower" - an individual no one had heard of - and after a bit of to-ing and fro-ing, they were led off to the Temple.
At the same time, Dumpling traced her cousin to the South Mining Camp, about a day's travel from the city into the Rift. She discovered that she could buy Pudding's freedom from the camp commandant. The party then headed down there where, after a desultory attempt to haggle the price, the captain seemed almost glad to be rid of his halfling worker ("Never stops talking about food..."). There was a problem - Pudding and four other slaves had been kidnapped by dragonborn raiders and carried off, probably for sacrifice.
The party set off in pursuit, following the trail round the rift to the dragonborn camp. After a quick recce, the place seemed deserted, expecpt for a halfling tied across a rock and the other disspirited slaves slaves huddled together amonst the scrub. It screamed an ambush, but Kravis decided he would trigger the trap and flush out the raiders. This he duly did, and six dragonborn emerged from hiding to attack, including a lightning-toting shaman and a mighty tribal champion. Battle was joined, and while the group managed to down several of their foes they failed at first to attack the shaman, who blasted then repeatedly with elemental power. They swiftly ran low on Fluxx's healing power, and as the party members began to fall to their wounds heroic efforts were made to revive them and bring them back to the fight. But despite all this, in the end the party could not prevail, even once the shaman was killed by Klondike and Dumpling. In the end they were forced to flee, leaving an unconscious Fluxx and Kravis.
The dragonborn buried their dead and revived the two heroes who remained in their midst. They then continued their march around the rift, heading for one of their villages, all the time shadowed by Dumpling and Klondike. Fluxx was able to use his eldrin fey power to teleport to safety and hide, leaving only Kravis in their clutches. But they could not wrest him from them before the dragonborn reached their destination and the stockade gate closed behind them, trapping Kravis, Pudding and the slaves inside to possibly grisly fate.
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We had to come up with plan and me being the only one with vastly superior brain decided to move us to the cliff behind the stockade, which overlooked the compound.
After observing the place for a some time we determined that the prisoners where being held in a major hut which backed onto the cliff we were on, also that it covered a cave entrance into the cliff side.
Looking down onto the top of hut we saw a possible way in through the chimney, I immediately suggested we let Dumps climb down a rope into the hut, and I would cast my very important silence spell.
We did this and managed to get all of us inside safety, but unfortunately Dumps left the rope in place, which alerted the Warlord and his Dragborn as we started to escape with the prisoners and another annoying hobbit called Pudding.
Facing most of the encampment our fate was surely sealed but the Dragon born still had some honour left and challenged us to a duel to settle the affair.
We clashed with the warlord and his cronies, we were a lot more prepared than the last time and knew there tactics, we use the large camp fire to shield our flank and concentrated our damage on the shaman to start with. Klondike fought very well and was very brave fighting at the front. Kravis also did well in pinning down the Warlord, but none of them would have survived with out expert healing skills of a master cleric, if only they knew how lucky they are to have them travel with me. Anyhow pudding showed Dumps how to kill things and we slowing despatch the dragon born one by one. After the Warlord went down and victory was ours they were true to there word and let us go.
We returned the prisoners and Pudding to the camp commandant at the South Mining Camp, about a day's travel from the city into the Rift, and Dumps brought Pudding's freedom.
We returned to Clargius at the city of the five, who had more information about the kruthik apparatus. He said a man, Charikhand the Sage, who lives over the mountains to the north could help us, and gave me a letter of introduction.
We managed to take normal transport to the town Qom before the mountain range, after that we had to ride; we decide to travel with one of the many caravans, which travelled over the mountains.
The journey was uneventful until we came across a band of raiding orcs, they also had a shaman and Orc warlord, it was a tough fight and it went down to the wire, but again my healing was amazing and kept everyone going, have I mentioned how lucky they are to have me…….
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The Tale of Fluxies' Fluffers
After we had got rid of some nasty evil orcs, we continued our canter along the path through the woods until we came to some deserted farm houses. It looked like the farmers had left quickly and then raided by nasty evil orcs. They hadn’t left us a bite to eat, evil scum. So we made do with our carried supplies, painful I say.
Klondyke noticed some smoke in the distance and the thought of barbequed ribs and chicken was too much. I galloped my pony ahead only to see a tavern being burnt by evil orcs. We could hear screaming from inside. Fate smiled upon us since the Orcs were using a big hog to attack the farmers. The rest of the party knew what delights I could conjure up with a hog roast so they all blasted it until it was no more. Unfortunately the Orcs were not happy with us killing their hog so they left the farmers alone and charged at us. Klondyke stood his ground and let fly with loads of arrows. The surprisingly brave Flux stood at the front and distracted the Orcs whilst I snook out of the trees and poked their soft parts with my cooking knife.
We had saved the farmers, but more importantly we went back to the farm house and spent a while hog feasting…. hmm yum aaahh burp.
The farmers told us of a Durg Scarface big orc bloke who was leading his Gouger tribe to kill all the farmers. A General Supermaniac from the Army of Avadi was supposedly going to fight him. Flux decided we should go and see him to find some Charikhand Sage bloke and some apparatus thingy. He does go on a bit about these things, but what surprises me is that you can’t even cook anything with the apparatus.
The General was pleased to see us and following a delightful Lamb Korma, Flux negotiated hard to achieve a great deal whereby we would sneak into the Orc fort of a thousand evil orcs…..sneak along a stinky sewer……kill the big Orc……sneak out again without getting caught and get a reward of an unknown quantity.
Ah well, the sun was shining, my belly was momentarily full and there was a slight glimmer of chance that the big Orc had a better food store than we had.
After a brief encounter with an orc patrol, into the sewers we went. Dark, dingy, smelly, cold, just like where I used to live when I was young, before I tasted sunlight, pig, cow, sheep, bread, potatoes, carrots…………….. AAAggh. I had been so engrossed in the delights of food that I failed to see an Otyugh burst from the sludge in front of me. My brave comrades rushed to my aid, despatching the Otyuch and two rather unpleasant carrion crawlers. Flux was on form and with all of his healing it felt like he was cushioning our world in a big healing duvet. And I was lucky enough to find a stone dog. It was great, I could summon it up, it would protect me and best of all, it didn’t want feeding. More scraps for me. Life was good, but I was beginning to feel hungry again. Gaps between meals is not something to be encouraged too readily.
It wasn’t long before we left the sewers and entered the fort's back passage.
We found an Orc Shaman and two huge Ogres in a nearby room, clearly protecting a banquet table. Klondyke and me ran out at the Shaman but our volley of blows was not enough to kill him. Fortunately our leader Flux blasted him with a green ray and he dropped to the floor. The Ogres attacked us. My doggy Spot (the Onyx Dog) took a few chunks out of an Ogre and before long it was dead. “Angry Smash” grunted the other Ogre as it gave the floor an almighty bash. It wasn’t long before he was down. I was not surprised that the banquet table contained no treasure for hobbit consumption.
We continued to sneak around the fort until we found a large room with a sleeping Owlbear, a big Orc and some guards. Sneak was still an option until Cookie got under Klondyke’s feet. The guards were despatched quickly but the Owlbear was a formidable opponent. He downed Klondyke with 2 blows from his wings and an almighty peck. Flux was on excellent healing form but then said he got constipated on the ground. Poor Flux. Spot drew some deserving attention after he bit the Owlbear’s butt and soon disappeared. Eventually Flux sorted himself out and finished off the Owlbear. The big Orc had joined the fight but appeared tired, so we all gathered around him quickly and let him have a very long rest.
I was thinking of absent comrades (Kravis the Executioner) whilst standing over the big Orc and suddenly found myself with the head of the Orc in hand. Ah well, into the sack it went.
Boo hoo, it was horrible. Not an edible morsel in sight. It was time we left this hell hole and returned to see the General. Perhaps he had managed to rustle up some decent food whilst we had been away. A stewed rabbit or two, freshly carved venison, a pot of vegetables, some mulled wine………ooooh fooooooood.
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The party returned to the camp bearing the head of the slain orc leader. General Subramanian was suitably impressed. The power of the orcs was severely weakened but, alas, not yet broken. He still had two final tasks for the group to perform in the forthcoming battle. Firstly, he needed the group to knock out the siege weapons of the orc army, and then eliminate the shamans to whom control of the orc horde had passed following the termination of their chief. The party were more than ready to help, though the issue of reward was discreetly raised. General Subramanian confirmed that they would earn the gratitude of the Avadi League, which was comforting (if somewhat vague).
However, the party found a new member, Quinn the mercenary fighter, a master of the hammer and shield. Introduced by the General, he joined forces with the group to replace Kravis, now he was back at executioner school.
So the next morning, as the army of the Avadi League met the main force of the orc invasion, the party were creeping through the woodlands heading for the hill from which the orcs were raining alchemical death by catapult. After a brief skirmish with some patrol, the group emerged above the orc artillery and proceeded to ambush them from cover. Though the orcs, including fume-maddened alchemists toting fire bombs, rushed them, the party overwhelmed them with relative ease, hewing the hapless porkers to the ground. The shamans then emerged, just as the fight was ending. Their guards, including two ogres, charged into the fray before the group could fully get their breath back. But even these assailants were no match for the group, now enhanced with the armour, shield and hammer of Quinn. Soon the orcish high command were slain, their deadly hail of missiles halted, and the soldiers of the Avadi League overwhelmed and scatters the horde.
Amid much rejoicing, General Subramanian was hailed the hero and liberator of Varata. Both the baron of Varata and Charikhand the sage were rescued and rebuilding of the town commenced at once. However, the party were not forgotten and they received magical items of puissance in thanks for the small part they played in saving the town and its ruler.
However, it was Charikhand that the party had really come to see. A few days later they showed him the letter of introduction from Clargius, asking for help in tracking down more details of the kruthik apparatus. Charikhand was able to remember a reference to a certain Droskar Ironhand, a dwarven sage of the previous century who encouraged the then-Hashputene Emperor to attack the City of the Five, claiming secret knowledge of the Five that would guarantee success. Fluxx had a vague recollection of him as possibly being connected with the cult of Vecna. However, Charikhand decided that the best way to find out would be to summon Ironhand’s shade and question it directly. However, in order to carry that out, he needed twilight berries, a magical fruit that grows where the Feywild touches the mundane earth. He asked the party to gather some, from the Vale of Flowers, a nearby region in which the fey were known to congregate.
The party set off the next day and, with uncharacteristic swiftness, managed to find some berries by a woodland pool. However, bathing in the pool was a beautiful nymph who, despite Fluxx’s most urgent flattery, would not yield her berries. Eventually she tired of his attention sna d, suspicious of his motives, attacked the party. While she attacked with magical frost and baleful green bolts, a shambing plant monster emerged from the pool and attacked with grasping tentacles. However, it didn’t last long and soon resembled a salad as the party concentrated their ire upon it. Then, the shambler dealt with, Klondike struck the nymph two mighty blow, which felt more like chopping wood than hitting flesh. The dryad beat a hasty retreat and decided to leave the berries to the party. They collected these, with enough left over after the amount needed for the ritual for Dumpling to make a magical flan of healing.
Back of Charikhand’s abode, they headed for the summoning chamber. There Charikhand completed the ritual and Ironhand’s spirit. However, all it uttered in response to Fluxx’s questioning was, “The Lord of Secrets holds me captive in the Black Library of Katheer. Free me and I will tell you all I know.” Then it faded, and emerging from the shadows came four grim figures – two dark reapers, a skeletal figure weaving bolts of force and a giant hound. Their leader uttered, “You trespass upon our Lord’s domain. It shall not stand!” as they attacked.
The reapers slashed with their scythes before flickering in and out of phase with the world, reducing the damage they received, as their leader hurled the party about with his silvery bolts. The dog chewed and slavered at its victims, but fortunately it was unable to deal much damage. As Charikhand left hurriedly the party fought back, with initial disarray but then with increasing confidence. One of the reaper’s fell, and then the bolt-throwing leader. Finally the second reaper fell and the hound was finally despatched to the hell from which it had emerged. Charikhand then returned to discuss the enigmatic comments of Droskar’s shade.
It turned out that the Black Library of Katheer was a notorious repository of forbidden lore in the capital of the old Empire, Hashput, and thought by some to be a hidden temple of Vecna. Since fallen to ruin, the city was now fought over by at least three factions: a secretive group of scholars, a vampire cult and a save tribe of shape-shifting orcs, although a town nearby also existed to service the adventurters who often sought ancient relics in the city. It would be a long journey – over a thousand miles.
The party made extensive preparations, with Fluxx learning a number of rituals to stave off the effects of disease and climate. He also found a portal that would make the journey much swifter. The others purchased valuable equipment for the journey. It was a tough and harrowing slog, with the party having to surrender bail to escape jail at one point, losing a healing potion each to the rigours of the journey, and being exposed to blinding sickness. However, after weeks of travel they had the village outside Hashput in sight, just as the sun was going down. But the howls of savage beasts surrounded them – the shape-shifters had picked up their scent….
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The Diary of Quinn the Mercenary, by the Other Matt.
By all accounts I should sleep well tonight, my body aches from battle and my feet are sore from travelling but death almost found me today and it leaves me unsettled and unable to rest...oh and the taste of flan, that taste will haunt me.
The day started as usual with Dumpling announcing breakfast with her usual vigor. The halflings high spirits, even after all this time are remarkable. As is her ability to produce food even given the scarcity of raw ingredients. Something I try not to think about to much.
We set off early. Our leader Fluxx announced we should make the village outside Hashput before night fall. The thought of a good nights sleep in a tavern was reason enough for us to quicken pace.
After an uneventful day of travelling we made it to the outskirts of the village. The sun had set and the air was still and felt unwelcoming. Unfortunately it was more than just the air that was unwelcoming, we were about to become the prey of a group of foul creatures of the night. Up ahead, I saw a group boar-like beasts, something was unusual about them. Still we had fought bigger, tougher looking foes in the past with ease, there was no reason why this group should cause us issue. It's probably a good thing I hadn't seen two groups hiding by the road side, otherwise my moral might not of been so high.
Klondike, who was leading the way, charged the group and attacked with brutal severity. Dumpling, Fluxx and I were about to follow Klondike's lead when three more beasts attacked us slowing our assault. The numbers were growing but still I was confident I could hold these three at bay whilst Dumpling and Fluxx assisted Klondike with the main group. I made a clean slice at the first of the three giving Fluxx a chance to break away from this group. I had lost track of where the halfling had gone, remarkable given her proportions.
All of a sudden I was alone with the three beasts surrounding me. In moments like these time passes slowly, it's something I've witnessed to many times before. I knew I had to buy time so I assumed a defence posture and used my shield to keep them at bay. For a time things went well and slowly I edged towards my party. The three beasts started to look weak and one was clearly bleeding heavily. It's in this moment my fortunes turned for the worse. The bleeding beast shape shifted into a fearsome boar and with renewed energy all three attacked me with vicious blows. Time passed much quicker now. The last time I had been faced by overwhelming odds I had manged to flee, this time such a cowardly escape was not possible. I was knocked to the floor, with my vision failing and the enraged beasts primed to finish their work my mind slipped into a spiral of visions, this could not end well...
The next thing I remember is an intense fruity sensation followed by the buttery taste of pastry. Was I in heaven? Would heaven taste of blackberry? I then inhaled deeply and panicked as this life giving dessert started to suffocate me. Fortunately this passed and the warmth that can only come from Fluxx's healing power filled my body. I watched as the party swiftly defeated the evil shape-shifting creatures.
My vision was still blurred and for a while I thought death was still haunting me. This turned out not to be the case. Our party had grown in the combat and Kravis the Paladin had rejoined the group, good timing too. I was a little concerned that this Paladin is to replace me in the group and that my services would no longer be required. I had failed in my role during the battle and this Paladin looked like
someone not to be messed with.
Klondike gathered some trophies of our conquest but unfortunately even after an extensive examination of all of the bodies he could find no treasure. We travelled to the village gates and with Fluxx's usual charisma we were allowed to enter with only a minimum of fuss. Now my thoughts were firmly on finding a tavern and some ale but Fluxx had other ideas. There was a cleric in the village, an old man who could help with our quest. Well that's what Fluxx told me and who am I to argue?
We travelled to the temple and were greeted by a young woman. Fluxx talked to her and explained that we needed to speak with the old man. She seemed unwilling to let us enter the temple or even wake the old man. Fluxx grew tired of her excuses and demanded that he speak with the cleric. The cleric appeared but did not seem amused. From what I could make out the conversation did not go well. Kravis was becoming weary of all the talk. The old man ended the conversation and we were left with little new information.
The Tavern beckoned and with great relief we found lodgings there for the night. By some strange twist of fate Dumpling met a member of her family working as a cook at the tavern. She seems to be having a great time discussing recipes.
I sit here now with Klondike snoring away in the bed next to me, unable to sleep and the days events repeating over and over in my mind. Maybe I should go and join Dumpling...
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Today was an improvement on the last. I did manage to get to sleep last night and today I felt stronger. I even managed to develop a new way of defending which will hopefully help in not repeating yesterdays failure. Maybe that Flan had more than blackberries in it.
The day started with Fluxx gathering information for us. I'm not entirely sure of the details of the conversations. I do know I didn't enjoy having to shake the hand of a rather dubious looking scholar. The upshot of all the talking is that we were tasked with a quest. We were to take a rubbing of an ancient artifact which was in a nasty area of swamp guarded no doubt by something foul.
After a short journey out of village we arrived at the swamp. A number of pools of water blocked our route.
Using a combination of tracking and magic to traverse the water we quickly made our way to the ancient artifact. We spread out to guard Fluxx whilst he began making a rubbing of the artifact.
I don't know if it was the sound of Fluxx muttering to himself whilst he worked or the clinking of heavy armour but something began stirring in the water below.
Three massive crab monsters emerged from the waters around us.
We worked as a team and engaged the first of the Crab Beast.
Klondike attacked the second with vicious blows.
Flux broke from documenting the artifact to assist in the battle. Using impressive magical mastery he blasted the third of the crab beasts.
We quickly felled all three of the crab beasts. My new Paladin friend fought well and defended with well practised mastery. Maybe there's room in the group for us both...
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THE LEAGUE OF SILVER
A strange band of Hinterland Southerners entered the village a few days ago, late at night. Hashput will probably not be the same again. Their leader, an arrogant Eladrin demanded to see Seth and wanted succour without even a please - I basically slammed the door in his face, so they sloped off towards the Empires End Inn. If I haven’t got enough to worry about is a bunch of Southern softies looking for treasure amongst the ruins. They looked like they’d gone through a rough time of it to get here, though. Maybe one of the roving shape-shifting orc war bands - I need to do something about that menace, we need to make Hashput a good place to live again.
Apparently one of them has a relation in the inn, another little hobbit, which I’ll have to keep an eye on, they can get themselves in all kinds of trouble.
I’ve found the name of the group from the inn keeper they’ll called Flux’s Fluffers, and they’ve made contact with ‘The Scholars’ in the form of Vilus - not a good move on their part, I think.
They headed off into the swamp maybe some errand for the Vilus (I spit when I write this). They returned with something for the Scholar leader but I could not see from my vantage point. They talked for a while but all I managed to hear was “key to the library” - I wonder if they mean the gem key I have.
They eventually came back to us at the Temple of the Sun (a little more courteous this time) and Seth decided to talk to them I stayed in the background, I wasn’t sure these folk should be trusted. Their goal was to enter the Black Library of Katheer and free a dwarf from the Lord of Secrets, Vecna. Apparently he had knowledge of some Kruthik apparatus (whatever that is - I’ve never heard of it). Maybe we can use these fellows in solving this region’s problem.
We told them of the Duke and the sect of vampires that live in the Library and if we could disrupt the flow of food (namely slaves) then it would weaken the Duke. We offered to help them by introducing them to the ‘Dragon’ and acquiring the key, which apparently I have. (Note to self: check back of cave for Gem key must be there somewhere.) If they could help us destroy Jerrek the slavers operations….
We told them of a slave caravan heading this way to the slaver Jerrek and if they could stop the caravan and bring the slaves to us in the hills they could disguise themselves as slavers and break into the compound and kill Jerrek. They agreed and set off into the woods to lay ambush to the caravan.
They returned to us later that day with the slaves in tow - a successful ambush had been instigated at the bridge. They even bragged about how many each attacking group killed it must have been a slaughter.
We helped them get into slaver disguises and told them where the slaver compound was. They managed to bluff there way into the front door and attack the main building where Jerrek was. He was a slippery customer and rogue style bobbed and weaved but this efficient band who looked like they had done this many times before cut the slavers down and returned to us in the hills with Jerrek’s head.
I revealed myself to them on there return showing I was the leader of the League of Silver and in fact the Dragon. I handed over the key and wished them luck against the Vampires
We returned to Vilus after our meeting with the Dragon, to be given information on a long forgotten entrance to the library. He seemed quite pleased that we had found a key. We all thought that he wasn’t telling us everything and we became very suspicious as to why he wanted to get a look within the library. Only after we left did we realise that he had a symbol of Vecna hidden under his clothes. We pondered whether to return and deal with him or go straight to the library.
Personally I thought we’d bump into him soon enough and we all agreed to visit the library first.
We found the hidden entrance and proceeded down a long dark passage, luckily we had remembered Sunrods.
With Dumpling (aka Muffin) leading the way we discovered our first room. Dumpling snook in and was unfortunately surprised by the occupants – there were three four armed skeleton warriors and a 3 headed lich-looking mage.
The Dumpster went down in a hail of blows - Oh dear we thought, not a good start. Whilst we pondered our approach, Fluffer (aka Fluxx) directed us forward to help little Dumpy.
We battled the Skeleton warriors in close combat whilst Fluffy’s mighty healing fixed the broken Halfling. The 3 headed mage attacked us with spells from range. Fluxter’s heroic turning pushed the Skeleton Warriors away enabling us to take the fight to them on our own terms.
Quimm (aka (Quinn) and Crevace (aka Kravis) tried to pin the Skeletons to the wall but we were struggling to hit these monsters and the fight seemed to be costing us dearly in encounter and daily powers. I went down but was revived by the our own little healing god. Eventually we slew one of the Skeleton Warriors and the fight began to turn our way.
A few of us broke of to tackle the mage and soon victory was ours.
Having worn ourselves down in the fight we decided to rest and recuperate. Once refreshed we continued on our quest.
Now this is where I suspected that something was wrong with the Dumpling. We entered a large cavernous area full of mushrooms. Firstly she said she wasn’t hungry and she was on a diet - OMG. Well after I’d picked us up from the floor I knew something wasn’t right. Maybe the Dumplard had been replaced by a doppelganger or Fluxx’s mighty over-healing had really fixed the broken Halfling. I decided to keep my eye on her.
We proceeded through the mushrooms but were attacked by Vampires rising from the earth. They were like a swarm of bees, swarming around us and feeding on the party to replenish healing lost in combat. After much effort we dispatched them but the whole experience was a little scary.
We skilfully negotiated the maze of rooms and tunnels using our adventuring skills until we spotted another group of creatures. We had entered a pillared room and tried to hide as the group entered the room from another exit.
Most of us managed to hide but Fluxx our self-proclaimed leader decided to make himself known so that he could challenge the group – NOT. The group comprised another human-looking mage, three Mummy’s and a large unknown creature.
Fluxx cast an illusionary fireball in their midst to get their attention. This worked very well as two of the Mummy’s and the large creature moved toward him. The rest of the party intercepted those three monsters to save the Fluffster. Crevace received a mighty blow from the large creature which made him focus what was left of his mind.
Now keeping my eye on the Dumpster I realised that is wasn’t the same Halfling. There had been no mention of food or relatives for days – thank god. She was entering combat quickly and yes, actually doing some decent damage. Well, I have decided not to alert anyone else to my suspicions as this Rogue Halfling is much better than the old one we used to have – I shall refer to the new party member as Muffin from now on. As long as she isn’t Evil then as far as I am concerned, it’s a result. I feel much less pressure to compensate for the previous Rogues poor dps.
With the defenders holding the original three attacking monsters the rest of us moved to attack the mage and after a brief struggle were victorious, although not without extensive use of powers.
We searched for treasure and were rewarded with a few items and an important letter. From what I could gather from Fluxx’s reading, we are responsible for disrupting Evils plans and must now be stopped. I’m sure someone will explain it in the near future.
Klondike
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The letter read as follows:
Brakus
Your work in securing our alliance with the Baron continues well. However, our agents warn that the adventurers who frustrated our activities in the Bonefields have arrived here and are proving to be disruptive. Besides the elimination of Jerrek, they seem to have made common cause with our enemies, Vilus and his “scholars”. Their Lord of Secrets is clearly annoyed with the transfer of the Baron’s loyalties to the true Prince of Undeath. Doubtless Vilus seeks to manipulate these pawns to attack the Baron and re-secure the Library for Vecna.
This must not be allowed to happen. Consequently, I place this emissary and his escort at your disposal to bolster the defences at the Baron’s court. You must proceed expeditiously to secure access to Ironhand’s prison before these adventurers have a chance to cause further trouble. I need not impress upon you the penalties for failure, both in this life and the next.
By the Ruby Sceptre of Orcus
Kovarc
Of course, having just been killed, the emissary was unlikely to be much help now. But at least it clarified a few matters concerning the motives of Vilus and his cronies.
The party moved on, and soon came to a grisly sight. A large hallway, festooned with somnolent human bodies pinned to the walls with spikes and with pipes draining away their blood. On closer examination, Fluxx determined there seemed to be some horrid necromantic procedure going on, with the victims' life forces being drained away to some distant point down the horrid, organic-seeming pipes. Clearly, this was the ultimate fate for the slaves gathered by the Baron.
With his healer's arts, Fluxx was able to disconnect a couple of the slaves. However, this generated a response as a group of strange homonculi, halfling-sized suits with helmets of glass seemingly empty except for animated sloshing blood, came to investigate. These were easily dealt with, being more dangerous in destruction as they exploded hot caustic blood in their deaththroes. Following the pipes to their source, the party found a giant chamber filled with vats of blood, with more servitors tending the arcane machinery and with a mysterious figure, clad in a protective suit, orchestrating matters from an elevated control booth. But the party had a plan....
Dressed in an empty servitor's suit, Dumpling was able to wander among the servitors and get within striking distance of the overseer in his booth. The party watched tensely as she navigated the stair and catwalks to reach his bastion. She stepped inside the booth, where he greeted her curiously. Her reply was to whip out a dagger and stab him in the guts. As they struggled, he was able to get out an alert to his sanguinous allies, while the rest of the party hacked their way through them to aid Dumpling. Dumpling continued her brutal stabbing until the overseer somehow managed to expel her from the booth, and he locked the door to prevent further intrusion. He then activated a cargo-lifting golem, running on rails overhead, which trundld in and began to rend and tear and the party with its claws. But Dumpling finessed the lock and burst back into the booth, and together the rest of the party crammed in and put an end to the unnatural life of the overseer and his bloody work.
Using schematics found on the body of the overseer, the party were able to navigate through another desolate part of the Library. However, on entering one particular stairwell, they were ambushed by a creature of horror - a bloodkiss beholder, an undead vampiric horror set to guard this section from intruders. The party, so confident in hand-to-hand combat, found it hard to attack a foe which stayed at range and attacked from above. It looked like the group were doomed, with several members falling and needing to be revived by Fluxx's channeling of the glory of Corellon. But then they lured it into a low corridor where it could not stay above their blades, and they were able to bring it low at last.
This ghoulish sentinel covered the final approaches to the Baron's personal quarters. After a rest to recover their strength, they set out to assault Baron Nehret in his lair. First, they destroyed the door guards, a group of the four-armed skeletons met at the entrance. A tough fight, but against the revitalised bravos one with only a single possible outcome. Then, together Fluxx and Dumpling defeated the wards on the door guarding the way to the inner sanctum.
Beyond they found a strage Bachanalian scene. Beautiful youths of both sexes reclined on couched, bedecked in decadent silks while a fountain played and a bard sang witty ditties of love. But these elegant creatures were vampiric spawn of evil, and the group of heroes stood firm, decrying the luxuries created from such horror and torment of others. They entered battle, hewing left and right, and sent many foul bloodsuckers screaming into oblivion. As they fought, the priest of Orcus known to be resident from the letter arrived to lend assistance, together with his bandage-wrapped mummy servitors. The resulting battle was described in song by the undead minstrel, although as matters turned against the undead and their spawn he decided to preserve his art and ran to alert the Baron of the impending arrival of his would-be killers. Soon, the vampires and their Orcusite allies lay at the feet of the stalwarts from Qom.
Following the trail of the fleeing lutist, they found the chamber of the Baron. A pool of blood lapped in its centre crossed by a bridge, while at the far end stood the Baron beneath a statue of Orcus. He greeted them haughtily, while his deathless handmaidens simpered from the sidelines and the minstrel played on. The party stormed in and put the vampire maidens to the sword and flame and finally silenced the exsanguinating songsmith.
However, the Baron flitted about the room, flickering in and out of invisibility while trying the befuddle and terrify his attackers with dread-inducing illusions. And lurching out of the pool of blood came another horror, a creature made of animated blood which attempted to drain all those it caught in its crimson tentacles. However, after initial difficulties it too was destroyed, leaving only the Baron. He twisted and turned before finally being cornered. His offers to negotiate were rebuffed, and he fell under the cleansing blades of Fluxx's Fluffers.
The party rested before stepping into the the final section of the Library - the Deep Vault. Using the gem key seized from the Baron's body, the found the entrance a shimmering portal across which arced deadly bolts of lightning. Inserting the gem key into the controls dealt with the lightning, and finally Dumpling and Klondike screwed up their courage to enter, eventually followed by Fluxx and Kravis.
They found themselves in a strange dark emptiness, illuminated by four columns of light in which each individual member of the party stood. In a fifth stood another creature, a giant figure dressed in a simple brown robe of a scholar (and quite possibly the emblem of a priest of Vecna). It introduced itself as the Keeper of Lore, and stated that in order to reach the screts of the Deep Vaults they must pass a series of test. The first was the Test of Wisdom, as only those with the correct understanding were suitable to reach the Deep Vault. It proceeded to ask each party member a question. Fluxx and Dumpling went first, correctly answering questions on history and religion. They faded from view as they went on to the next section of the challenge. Klondike and Kravis answered incorrectly, and were scourged by lightning before being allowed to move on.
The party then found themselves in an arean, seemingly suspended in an empty void. Five shadowy figures stood silently in one corner and the party in another. The Keeper of Lore explained that this was the Test of Strength, as only those of power were permitted to learn the dark secrets of the Deep Vault. The Keeper of Lore then faded away, and the five figures then attacked. Wraiths of oblivion, rage and entropy, their auras overpowered the party, befuddling the mind, rending flesh and preventing healing. And as they fought, the floor of the arena began to disappear, at one point causing kravis to have to leap for his life. They battled bravely, but first Klondike, then Kravis and then even Fluxx fell. It looked like the end, but then Dumpling was able to revive Fluxx with a potion. Fluxx brought Kravis back into the fight, and finally together they brought down the combined might of the wraiths. However, Klondike had died, unable to be healed in time before his life was drawn away. But Fluxx had recently mastered the ritual of resurrection, and Klondike was brought back from the embrace of the Raven Queen to continue his fated journey with Fluxx and the others.
AS Klondike was revived, they once again found themselved in the dak with the Keeper of Lore. The next test was the Test of Will - only those with the true determination to succeed, no matter what the price, were worthy of the secrets beyond. The Keeper demanded that they sacrifice one of their number in order to progress. Fluxx volunteered, and then changed his mind. Kravis was adamant it be him, in the noble tradition of knightly sacrifice. Klondike said that, logically, it must be him. Even Dumpling chipped in. The argument raged, until finally a consensus was reached that Kravis should be the one.
The party, minus Kravis, found themselves in a stone-flagged chamber. The Keeper of Lore stood with two cloaked figures bearing swords of red-glowing force. To one side stood another cloaked figure upon a dias. And behind them, chained with spiritual bonds, was the shade of the dwarf, Droskar Ironhand, their reason for coming to the ruins of Hashput. The Keeper greeted them, and explained the final test - they must pass through him and his followers to gain access to the dwarf. The Keeper threw aside his robes, to reveal a giant skeletal figure. Trapped within his ribcage, was Kravis.
The party immediately set off to attack the figure on the dias, recognising him as a spellcaster able to hurl bolts of force from a previous encounter with Charikhand the Sage. However, this left Fluxx exposed, and the force sword-wielding attackers immediately made him their target. The spell-slinger made a few attackes, but the concentrated attacks on him soon brought him low, although in the meantime Fluxx was chased about the room but the other two attackers, taking a series of vicious wounds. Kravis was able to struggle free from the necromantic imprisonment of the Keeper's torso, was recaptured, and freed himself again. In fact, at some stage, each of the members of the party took their turn within the ribcage of the Keeper, where he drained a portion of their souls to fuel his attacks. It was a tough fight, but the party, hardened by the tests before, were able to bring down the two swordsmen before finally laying low the Keeper of Lore. And so the party finally reached the shade of Droskar Ironhand.
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The Ballad of Fluxx’s Fluffers, by Rhymin’ Quinn (Matt G's player)
The Fearless fighter descended down
Traversing the tunnel below the town
Arriving at a large room of old
He met lost friends on a quest for the bold
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Taking the lead with precision and might
He gave foul Vecna an unforgettable fright
With thundering hammer and comrades at his side
Vecna's minions tried to run and hide
Fluxx stood firm and with magic so strong
The foes resolve was all but gone
A final swing from the hunters Axe
The job was done and it was time to relax
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Vecna’s minions now dead
The information in Fluxx's head
It was time to travel to Qom as the quest must go on
A circle was drawn and a portal born
Through the spatial hole the party roll
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Back in Qom the champions arrive
The villagers wondered "how did they survive?"
At the tavern that night
To everyone's delight
Stories and food actually quite all right
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(Editor’s Note: in case the above is too allusive, a more direct explanation.)
The party spoke to the shade of Droskar Ironhand. However, his comments were elliptical, simply saying that the information they sought was within the Hall of Records in the dwarven city of Zarrenkar. The Scholars then appeared, and revealed themselves as shape-shifting abominations of Vecna, their whole aim to gain access to the vault and discover the dwarf spirit’s secrets. Having overheard Ironhand’s words, they then sought to eliminate the party. However, the party themselves dealt firmly with such pretensions and the Scholars were soon no more.
The party then used a portal to head directly back to Qom, the town where their adventures began. After a convivial night of storytelling in the inn (and even managing to turn a profit from ticket sales) they then bought passage on a skywhale to the town of Artor, the nearest human habitation to Zarrenkar, high in the mountains. Seeking to trade for information, they brought with them a box of golden pears, a delicacy grown in the orchards of the City of the Five.
Artor itself proved to be little more than a lowly village, fallen on hard times now that Zarrenkar had in fact closed its gates to trade with the outside world. They were advised to find a dwarven hermit who lived in the mountain but who was apparently once a leader in the city. Undaunted, they set off to find the hermit along the disused trade road. After a brief combat with a hill giant and his pet dire bear (which ended badly for both) they found the hermit living in a cave. While Fluxx engaged him in conversation, Quinn played his masterstroke and offered the golden pears to the hermit. An alliance thereby sealed, the hermit offered his delicious vegetable stew while advising the party on their next move.
He made it clear that direct access to Zarrenkar for non-dwarves was effectively impossible at the moment. The closure of the city seemed to be being driven by the crown prince and the king’s chancellor, the king himself being weak and borderline senile. However, the hermit (Hermy by name, as if he were born to the role) advised talking to Hengist, the mayor of Highhome, a dwarven town. If they could help out Hengist, they could get a recommendation that could get them access to Zarrenkar.
And so, Fluxx (Matty S) takes up the narrative…..
The Fluxx’s Fluffers find themselves out side Highhome, a dwarven town, with the aid of the golden pears and Hermy the hermit. He told them to “go round the back and ask to speak to Hengist, Headman erh I’m mean Headdwarf”. We do and we do, and agree to get into his good books by helping him solve a mystery of his dwarven miners disappearing.
We delve into the mine and find a sealed off deeper section where some strange tracks lead so we follow and delved deeper into the mountain. We got attacked by hook horrors on a narrow ledge which wound down the side of a deep underground canyon. It tries to fling Kravis off the side and into the gloomy darkness but he manages to hang on. The dog Spot (Dumpling’s Figurine of Power) gets grabbed as well but Dumpy Muffin (Dumpling) and Klondike unleash devastating damage to knock the horror off the cliff instead. The last horror got surrounded and brought down quickly with Quinn hunkered down and entrenched using his Unbreakable, Shield of Defence, Ironskin Belt, total defence and Invigoration. He took a horror's rend and just smiled with a record 37pts of damage absorbed.
A dissection of the hooked horror revealed a living parasite in its brain maybe, Fluxx thought, controlling the creature...how strange.
We worked our way down and came to a cave guarded by troglodytes, evil smelling creatures who spotted our approach and launched a vicious attack with hurled javelins. Flux with a calm hand and quick incantation blasted the scaled foes with awesome fire blast, singing their scales. The party with inspired leadership closed quickly and with superior combat skill pulverised the rest of them. Suddenly more reinforcements came but Fluxx the magnificent hit them quickly with a blade barrier, shredding there hides and disorganising their fighting lines. A blinding strike of daggers allowed the rest of the Fluffers to take them down and cause a big trog mess on the floor.
As the hero and his companions wiped the blood from their swords & hammers a winged figure appeared from the darkness. The party reacted quicker than their foe, to his surprise attack, and virtually took him unprepared even though he started with the same advantage. The initial round of blows forced him to retreat to the cave ceiling using his flight ability. Range weapons were soon deployed and with a “Come & Get It” master stroke brought the creature to a swift end.
(And now returns the dead hand of the editor...)
The party was now faced with two choices as to how to proceed. Taking the route less travelled (if the tracks on the floor were anything to go by) they came upon a tunnel blocked by a rockfall. Projecting was a dwarven hand, on its finger a nice shiny ring. Dumpling crept down and removed the ring without causing further slippage, and her prize turned out to be a fine ring to assist Fluxx in smiting undead.
This way being blocked, they then returned and took the route more travelled. After a while they came to a chasm, a movable bridge annoyingly on the other side of the gulf and locked. Fluxx stepped through the Feywild to get to the other side, and threw a rope to Dumpling so she could shimmy across and unlock it. The bridge now in place, the rest of the party headed over and they continued on their way.
After a while more, the advance party of Klondike and Dumpling enter a largish cavern. Looking about, they notice strange creatures near the roof but fail to spot the real danger – a rock-like roper lurking in the corner. It quickly lashes rogue and ranger in its tentacles as the other monsters, flying molluscs known as darkmantles, descend to make battle. The roper babbles incoherently in an unknown language as it attempts to scoff down its humanoid meal but the rest of the party enter the fray and prove less palatable. The darkmantles attempt to smother their foes in slimy folds of their fleshy feet but in the end can offer little resistance. The roper is much tougher, but its slow movement counts against it when Fluxx creates a Blade Barrier that slices its rocky flesh and Quinn pins it in place with masterly skill so it cannot escape the scything magical razors. Soon it’s broken rock chunks and calamari all round.
The party wonder how the troglodytes might have bypassed such a horror, but don’t let such subtleties detain them. Again the path divides and again they chose the quieter alternative. They then find themselves in a room filled with musty webs and drained corpses. Emerging from above, a giant spider descends to add to its larder, aided by the suddenly mobile bodies of its previous victims. The spider sinks its fangs into a few of the party, poison mixed with necrotic energy for added potency, but they shake off the pain as they hack it to bits. They then deal with the corpses, but as they destroy them they burst open to reveal scurrying swarms of the mother spider’s progeny. But even these cannot prevail against Fluxx’s Fluffers and finally the field is theirs. They decide now might be a good time to rest, and as the spider’s lair is off the beaten track they make camp.
Returning refreshed, they head back to the main track and continue on. Soon the vile musky scent of troglodytes is in the air, and eventually a camp of a large number of the reptilian monsters can be seen ahead….
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The party drew the initial band of troglodytes into an ambush and smote them mightily. A second group of troglodyte leaders remained further back in the cavern, casting vile spells of poison and evil upon the onrushing heroes. With them, however, lurked a grey dwarf infernalist who called down devilish fire on the party. However, as his troglodytic allies fell to the righteous swords (and axes, and hammers) of Fluxx’s Fluffers, he abandoned them to their fate and retired through a tunnel. The party took a breather before pursuing him, finding him holed up in a final room with more of his duergar brethren, in particular their hulking, armour-clad leader. The Fluffers smashed through the crude improvised barriers blocking their path and struck down the devilish dwarves.
Inside, apart from plunder, they found documentary evidence that all was not well in the dwarven kingdom of Zarrenkar. In particular, a letter strongly from an otherwise unknown party indicated that the king was I his senile dotage while his son, Prince Haakon, was under magical domination by the king’s vizier. The letter also ordered the assassination of the party’s ally, Hermy the hermit, for his interference in their nefarious schemes.
Returning back to Highhome in triumph, the mystery of the missing miners solved but a deeper mystery revealed, the party went back to find Hermy and bring him to safety in the town. Hermy and Hengist advised that the party should find the captain of the southern gate to Zarrenkar, an ally. The party duly set off on a hike around the mountain to said gate. Finding they great stair, they duly marched up it towards the gate, only for the deteriorating security situation in the dwarven kingdom to display itself as hill giants attacked them. However, mere giants were not enough the stop Fluxx’s Fluffers, and after wiping giant blood from their weapons, they proceeded to the threshold of Zarrenkar.
After introducing themselves to the captain of the guard, he allowed the Fluffers in. Later, the high priest of the Moradin arrived to treat with them. While concerned about the situation with the king and Prince Haakon, he was frightened to expose himself to danger. In the end, the eloquence of Fluxx was not enough to convince him. But the captain of the guard was made of sterner stuff. Together, they hatched a plan to ambush the perfidious adviser while he accompanied the royal family to the temple of Moradin. Using Fluxx’s magic, they would teleport in and expose his deceit. They would force him to swear upon the Swearing Stone in the temple, which would cause an oath-breaker to die should he swear falsely.
And so it was that the party confronted the king’s adviser in the temple precincts. Initially, the vizier seemed to outwit them in a war of words. Things began to look grim as the Royal Guard stood by menacingly. But then an elderly noble in the king’s entourage forced the advisor’s hand, offering his life on the Swearing Stone in his stead should the vizier not speak truly. This put the advisor in a position where he could not refuse and maintain his honour. So instead he ordered the prince to attack the party. In the resulting melee, the advisor was revealed to be a mindflayer wearing the flesh of a dwarf. In addition, in his over-enthusiasm, Klondike dealt with the succession issue by accidentally beheading the king. However, as the mindflayer made good its escape the prince was released from its evil influence, and on regaining his wits he immediately offered a pardon (his grief over his father’s death ameliorated by the feel of the throne under his royal buttocks).
Having offered such a great service to Zarrenkar, the party were then allowed to visit the Hall of Histories, their reason for being there in the first place. The dwarves explained that, in line with the general decline of the dwarven kingdom, the deeper parts of the halls were out-of-bounds, being potentially monster-infested. They also related that, before the ban on non-dwarves was instigated, a halfling visited the deeper areas a few years ago, but was never seen again. This halfling was called Pudding, and Dumpling immediately realised he must be her cousin (given the food theme).
The party set off into the halls. The outer, more recent parts were readily accessible. The halls contained pillars carved with the history of the dwarven people of Zarrenkar. As the penetrated deeper to the section they wanted, they were confronted with a door which could only be opened by answering the riddle carved into its surface. But its intricacies could not defeat Fluxx’s intellect. Beyond they found themselves on a stairway winding down the side of a chasm. As they progressed, a squadron of flying gargoyles attacked, but were beaten off and reduced to rubble.
At the base of the cliff, more hallways led into darkness. Eventually they found that the halls they wandered through were flooded. On the shore they found a boat, and inside a tiny skeleton. (Or, Dumpling put it: “Pudding! NOOOOOOO!”) Somehow dealing with her loss, she and the rest of the Fluffers set sail across the underground lake which had sprung up in the Hall of Histories. Carefully reading the pillars, they found the one they wanted. However, as Fluxx took note of the details, a horror from the deep attacked – a kraken from the lightless oceans of the underdark. Fluffers were dragged into the inky depths by its grappling limbs, but the tables were turned as the party took the fight to it, swimming down through the darkness to pummel it into chowder.
The kraken defeated, they read the inscription they had come for. But instead of details of the kruthik device, the message that Ironhand had sent them from the spirit world was very different. It told of how a group of five humans had arrived in the ancient civilisation of the dragonborn and, with a massively powerful ritual, had caused the land to wither and die and sink the dragonborn cities into a great chasm. These humans had then taken the power which they had stolen and raised themselves up as gods, establishing a city and calling themselves the Five. This was a considerable revelation: of how the Five were not eternal gods but instead human interlopers, and how they had stolen their power through mass death and despoliation. Fluxx and his Fluffers were duly enraged and their despicable act (albeit that it had happened over two-thousand years ago).
Returning to the surface, the party took counsel with the prince and his new advisor, Hermy. Fluxx gained their agreement to attack the Five, but only as part of a larger task force. In other words, they needed to find allies. Divination also suggested that the mindflayer had escaped to the Iron Tower, in the desert north and west of Qom. Rumours of a new power in the desert had reached the town when the Fluffers last visited, but they had not followed up. Now Fluxx was determined to seek out the ruler of such a place and find out what were his intentions (and the others couldn’t think of anything else to do).
Returning to Qom by teleportation ritual, the party looked for a way to get to the Iron Tower. A delegation from the Avadi League was heading that way and, as heroes of the League from their previous adventures they were able to inveigle their way into the expedition. So the party arrived at the Iron Tower. Nestled in the foothills of the mountains, seemingly made from riveted sheets of iron, the tower lay within a large military encampment populated by fearsomely-disciplined hobgoblins and trolls. Outsiders were not allowed in to the camp, so the party resolved to break in. They heard rumours that the captain at the gate was interested in a bit of business on the side. They managed to gain an audience and, after an exchange of residuum, gained a pass into the main camp. It wouldn’t get them to the Iron Tower directly, but they learnt that there was a “back door” concealed towards the rear of the camp which they might be able to reach.
Entering the camp, the party shouldered their way through by force of personality, guile, stealth, and a bit of juggling. They were not challenged until the reached the back door, seemingly a non-descript hut guarded by a contingent of trolls. The trolls were less amenable to persuasion than the rest of the camp, but were swiftly eliminated. They then entered the hut.
Inside a tunnel led downwards, while the scent was something like a lion cage. As the moved forward carefully, they found that the way ahead was barred by a fire-breathing hydra, behind which was the inscribed ring of a magical portal. The defeat of the hydra was fast but very brutal, and after a brief pause to recuperate, they activated the portal and ducked through, and into the tower. On the other side waited a troll huntsman with a pack of worgs, which they fought on a circular landing. Using blade barriers they split up the pack and defeated them piecemeal, but the huntsman escaped up the stairs. In pursuit, they found another portal and followed their foe through.
They found themselves in a darkened temple. Below a faintly glowing sigil of Vecna sat the Lord of the Iron Tower upon his throne. Hooded and shadowy, he greeted the party, who couldn’t help noticing that he was very short. Indeed, he revealed his link to the party, for it was Dumpling’s cousin Pudding, back from the dead (quite literally, as it turned out). The Lord entreated the Fluffers to make common cause with him against the Five and accept his aid. While suspicious of his motives, the party relented and they talked. His Vecna-yness suggested that a coalition against the Five should be formed, and that his forces, united with the dwarves and the dragonborn, could help to overthrow the Five.
To this end, the Fluffers were the ideal emissaries to send to the dragonborn to gain their help. However, the was a potential difficulty in that the dragonborn were entirely xenophobic and would only respect those of proven strength. So the Lord proposed that if they could defeat the great sand worm Urgathoa, The Eater of Armies (and Leggies) and bring its mating hooks as a demonstration of prowess to the dragonborn camp, they could gain entry.
The party duly headed into the desert accompanied by a guide, a one-armed scout from the City of the Five who had fallen victim (or, at least, his arm had) to the great worm. They found the valley wherein Urgathoa laired and lured it up through the vibration of flags on flagpoles rammed into the dry earth. But first rose the spawn of Urgathoa, white worms the size of horses. With these defeated, Urgathoa then emerged – a titanic annelid the colour of ivory. Covering the party with a blast of sand, its mighty jaws sought out the warm meat before it. But the party were the masters here, and even though the worm swallowed Klondike, it simply allowed the ranger to attack Urgathoa from the inside. Soon the beast was thrashing in its death throes and the party was able to claim their trophy. They then rode to the largest dragonborn encampment, mating hooks held high.
Their puissance in battle no longer an issue, the party sought an audience with the dragonborn chieftain, the Fluffers discovered unwelcome visitors: Orris Gar, Kravis’ nemesis from Qom and his cronies. And Gar had performed an even greater betrayal, for it was clear that he had transferred his allegiance from the Raven Queen to the demon lord Orcus. But before blood could be spilt, it became clear that the Orcusites were also here to court the dragonborn.
The Fluffers then plunged into the politics of the situation. They quickly identified that they needed to sway the chief’s Council of Elders their way. To this end, they negotiated with the chief’s war leader to ensure that his ego was assuaged by making him the leader of the coalition forces. They swayed another elder by assuring him that their actions would be for the betterment of the dragonborn race. A third they brought on side by an appeal to his traditional values. But all might be for naught, as the advisor with the chief’s ear was his Skyspeaker, the senior shaman. Through subterfuge, they found out that he had been bought by the Orcusites, a terrible breach of dragonborn honour. But the Fluffers rose to the challenge and, disguising the chief in Kravis’ armour, they tricked the shaman into revealing his greedy ways. The chief was outraged and banished his advisor, and in the council meeting the following day Fluxx wiped the floor with the opposition. The followers of Orcus were sent packing, and the chief agreed to consider the Fluffers’ proposal alone.
The chief was minded to accept, but only if his new allies could prove their worth. So the party resolved to attack one of the mines of the City of the Five, release the slaves and recover the shell amulets of any dragonborn who had died there. The party tricked their way into the fort above the mining camp and routed the troops there. They then moved to deal with the guards in the mine itself. Guards with trained drakes attacked at the entrance, but the Fluffers fought their way through the opposition and roused the slaves into rebellion. In the uproar the party hunted down the camp commandant and slew her, recovering the amulets and gaining the undying gratitude of the dragonborn.
The union with the dragonborn cemented, the Lord of the Iron Tower got back in touch. He stated that while the army was ready, they needed to find the secret of the Five’s power before they could consider an attack (given the fate of the Imperial Army a century before). To this end, he suggested that they enter the Great Salt Rift, where the Five performed their ritual and where the dragonborn empire disappeared. And so, mounted on borrowed riding lizards, the party set off to explore.
Climbing down the cliffs surrounding the rift, they set off. The floor of the rift was white, packed salt, blazing in the sun. Indeed, the reflection was so intense that Klondike was blinded by the glare, although Fluxx’s healing arts soon restored his sight. They then encountered a series of soda lakes, bubbling with geothermal activity. Klondike guided them through, but even he could avoid a geyser that doused the party in boiling, caustic water. Fluxx surmised that whatever had happened may have unleashed potent arcane power and disrupted the elemental balance in the area, while healing blisters on the skin of his comrades.
The next day, more elemental disruption was in evidence as the Fluffers stumbled across a battle between earth and fire elemental raging on the flats. The party tried to navigate their way through the skirmish but ended up trapped between a group of fire archons and an earth titan. Klondike spent much of the battle trapped in a cleft in the ground following the titan’s stomp, and the archons punished Kravis hard as he held them off as the titan was dealt with. But in the end all that was left of the opposition was a large pile of rubble and scorched and battered armour. The party then made its escape across the salty plain.
Finally, after several days of travel, the party arrived at the centre of the Rift. There they found a ruined city, ancient yet partially intact. As they cautiously entered, Fluxx was able to read the weathered inscriptions and discover that it was indeed a dragonborn city, and that they worshipped dragons and elemental powers. As they headed for the city centre, which was the most intact, they discovered that the light was being sucked away and above could be seen the stars, even while it was broad daylight outside the city. Fluxx speculated that this was some sort of necromantic effect. Finally reaching the central plaza, they found a giant glassy shard of obsidian, glowing with a foul purple energy and carved with intricate runes over every part of the surface, embedded in the ground.
As they stood in surprise and awe, they were suddenly attacked by an undead dragon which burst out from a nearby building. As spectral wisps rose at its command to assault the party, it barrelled forward, paralysing those that attempted to attack it with its overwhelming presence. Klondike decided to try a different tack and attacked the glowing pillar. The dracolich furiously attacked him, but he held on and smashed the pillar. In a massive arcane explosion the party were knocked unconscious, awaking in a completely different place: still a city, but with totally different architecture, grey sky overhead, dead willow trees within withered and dead gardens, and oppressively silent. About the party stand grey-skinned humanoids (identified by Klondike as shadar-kai) with weapons drawn and ordering the party to surrender.
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The shadar-kai revealed themselves to be followers of the Raven Queen, a fact which was greeted with joy by their co-religionist, Kravis. They had been sent to guard the other end of the portal through which the Fluffers had inadvertently fallen when they destroyed with obsidian pillar in the Great Salt Rift, and to wait for those such as the Fluffers to arrive. The portal had deposited them in Pluton, the realm of the (ironically, dead) former god of of death, Nerull, an abandoned outpost in the Astral Sea. The shadar-kai decided to take the party to meet their mistress in her abode in the Shadowfell, so she could explain to the confused Fluffers what had been going on. The adventurers graciously accepted the invitation.
While heading for the astral skiff that the shadar-kai, the party detected the oncoming presence of enraged undead spirits, trapped in Pluton since the demise of their lord. The shadar-kai broke away to lead off the spirits, and the party hurried on. However, it was not long before they found their onward route blocked. Along a street of ruined colonnades, they needed to cross a bridge. But his was blocked by an undead warrior, a slain elf of yore. As the party moved to deal with him, screaming banshees emerged from the buildings around. The warrior invoked necrotic fire to blast the Fluffers and the screams of the banshees caused the adventurers to stagger under the psychic assault. But this was all in a day's work for our heroes and soon, after bringing down the warrior, they began to take the fight to the howling ghosts.
Soon only one was left, but then an abomination of heaving flesh heard the fight and hove into view. With a bloodied apron, and clutching cleaver in one of its clawed hands, it was some sort of foul mockery of the butcher's art. It clumped into the fray, attacking Kravis where he blocked its path. With claw it grabbed, with cleaver it chopped, and with maw it chewed, leaving Kravis badly injured. It then vomited up a lump of its own flesh, which proceeded to gnaw at the paladin's ankle. Kravis fell to the assault, but the rest of his companions leapt in to defend him. Fluxx transformed himself into a mobile beacon of radiant energy, burning the undead and healing his allies and reviving Kravis. As the thing burped up more hostile lumps of intestine the Fluffers brought them down, while carving chunks from their hideous progenitor. Eventually the thing was hacked to bits, and the Fluffers were able to move on, though not until finding a nice ring on the undead elf which Kravis took to improve his puissance with arms.
Rejoining the shadar-kai, they reached the astral skiff where it floated at a jetty on a greasy, mist-shrouded sea. The Fluffers on board, the ship set off into the fog. After several minutes to precipitation cleared and the party were sailing across the astral sea - a luminous mirror-like silver sheet, crossed by rainbow ribbons of colour and sparking with motes of light like diamond dust. They were heading for the Pillars of Dusk, a ship-sized portal to the Shadowfell and the dwelling place of the Raven Queen. The party spent several days getting to know the shadar-kai and their ways, especially the significance in the different types of extreme body-piercing, and the shadar-kai delight in the scourging of the flesh. However, this anthropological study was interrupted by a githyanki pirate ship bearing down on them.
The Fluffers tried all thy could to encourage, cajole and threaten the shadar-kai to feats of seamanship to avoid the githyanki, but to little avail. The shadar-kai captain, Tattoo, then suggested trying to lose the gith in a nearby elemental storm, but the Fluffers were not quitters and instead decided to take the fight to the astral marauders. Once more through advice, entreaties and threats, the heroes tried to get the shadar-kai to turn and pull alongside the pirate ship, but instead the githyanki rammed the hapless shadar-kai skiff.
The Fluffers headed for the prow to repel the githyanki boarders. A contingent of gith pirates, accompanied by archers, then sallied forth. Using telekinetic techniques they leapt over the heads of the adventurers to attack them from behind. But Fluxx let rip with a radiant blast which vaporised the archers while the boarders were then harried by the rest of the party. Kravis hacked one to pieces while Dumpling made multiple brutal stabbings to end the threat from others, and Klondike and Kuki ran red slaughter through their ranks. One of the gith boarders managed to escape the assault, but now the tables were turned, and the githyanki ship was now ready to be boarded in its turn by Captain Fluxx and his heroic crew of Fluffers.
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The Fluffers hurled themselves on to the githyanki warship and set about its defenders. Gith corsairs tried to fight them off but were rebuffed with cold steel and blazing spell. Soon the heroes faced the ship's captain, who brandished a deadly silver blade. But the Fluffers were the masters here and soon the githyanki ship was purged of gith, and the Fluffers and their shadar-kai crew were victorious. They plundered the ship, finding a rich haul of coinage. However their original astral skiff had been badly damaged by the ram of the gith cruiser and even their new vessel was in need of repair. Captain Tattoo decided to head for a place called Haven, an islet in the Astral Sea that functions as a trading post, ship-repair facility and (albeit, rough-and-tumble) neutral ground for the various factions of the Plane Above. After a few days the gith warship, towing the battered shadar-kai boat, berthed. Here the party were able to dispose of their loot and relax a little. Tattoo also sold off the shadar-kai ship, passing some of the funds on to the Fluffers, commandeering the gith ship instead.
While enjoying the fleshpots of Haven, the more alert members of the party picked up a rumour that someone was looking for them. A few days earlier, a large vessel, more a metallic sphere driven by cogs and gears than a typical vessel of the Astral Sea, docked at Haven. This was a marut ship, the marut being mercenaries and enforcers for the will and promises of the gods. Soon the interest of the marut was confirmed when the party were challenged in the narrow alleys of Haven by a marut executioner. Seeming like a mobile statue of a heavily-muscled man cast from dull silver metal, brandishing a double axe, it accused the Fluffers of breaking the "covenant of the gods" and duly passed sentence - death. With four automatons like animated sets of armour, it attacked the party. But then, as swords were drawn and spells were cast, who was to wander around the corner but Quinn, munching on a kebab! Seeing his old friends in peril, he cast aside his greasy fast food, flicked back his hair and drew his hammer and shield, challenging the mendacious marut and his metal minions. The battle was brief and brutal, and the Fluffer put the marut to the sword and reduced its companions to scrap. However, with Dumpling's nimble fingers they were able to extract the flight units from the automatons, allowing the party to have limited powers of flight - at least, until the units catch fire, explode or suffer some such mishap.
The party, now with Quinn back in the fold, and their crew cast off from Haven and headed for the Pillars of Dusk, the great portal that would allow them to get to the Shadowfell. But as they cleaved through the Astral Sea on their approach, the clouds parted to reveal a githyanki fleet, accompanied by a marut dreadnaught, between them and the portal. The Fluffers and the crew weaved the ship with precision through their would-be captors, but even so enemy fire took its toll, with ballista bolts, arrows and hostile summoned monsters to be dealt with. Finally, the githyanki attacked from dragonback, three githyanki knights riding fire-breathing drakes attacking the ship as the Pillars of Dusk grew closer. Using their recently-acquired flight units, the Fluffers rose to the challenge, and together herded and trapped the dragonriders and beating them down. One of the dragon-gith pairs perished, while one knight was dunked into the Astral Sea as his mount was cut from beneath him. The last knight decided that discretion was the better part of valour and left the scene of battle. But then a huge red dragon, rider-less but hugely potent in its own right, hove into view and blasted the Fluffers with its fiery breath. The Fluffers tried to get into an advantageous position to attack it but it beat them off with its tail. But even then, the power of the Fluffers prevailed. While Dumpling and Klondyke struggled, Quinn and Kravis had at it with furious blows. The dragon realised its mistake and attempted to escape, but Quinn wouldn't let it, and soon its corpse plunged into the Astral Sea to join the rest.
The way was now clear, and the ship headed through the Pillars of Dusk and into the Shadowfell.
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Passing through the Gates of Dusk, the astral ship transitioned into the Shadowfell. A dark and gloomy world spread out beneath them of dark, coniferous forest and jagged, black granite mountains dusted with snow. Ever-present cold gnawed under a clear night sky of hard, untwinkling stars and a looming moon. But then, after a few hours flight, a strange ribbon of glowing cloud could be seen above. Captain Tattoo steered the ship to follow this wispy thread, which gradually grew in size and strength as the heroes progressed. And a new sound, other than the mournful howl of the wind, began to impinge: a low chatter, at the very edge of hearing, of many voices. Tattoo explained that the cloud above was in fact the souls of the dead streaming to the Raven Queen for their ultimate judgement.
Eventually, the cloud above was a roiling storm of soul-stuff, churning and rotating above a particular point in the mountains like the eye of a hurricane. The ship breasted a mountain peak to reveal a mirror-like lake in the valley below and, at the farthest end, a cliff-top citadel and temple complex. The helmsman brought the ship down to land gently on the lake, and it drifted forward to the jetty at the base of the scarp. Looking up, the towers of the temple were the nexus for the stream of souls and they turned and rumbled above. At the dockside, a shadar-kai watchman greeted them and directed them up a set of steps running vertiginously up the cliff.
The heroes boldly set off up the steps, but clearly the Raven Queen makes no allowance for mortal frailty and a few of the Fluffers were seriously out of breath by the time they got to the top. At the top if the cliff, where the stair ended, they were greeted by a young woman with pale skin and long white hair. She was draped in a grey robe and perched upon her shoulder was a raven, its eyes black and glittering. Those with any religious training recognised an avatar of the Raven Queen before them. But it was not the young woman, but the crow which addressed them, as it demanded that the Fluffers identify themselves.
Once the preliminaries were out of the way, the raven explained some of the recent events. The story related to the nature of the Five, the demigods ruling the city in the desert near to where all of the events had taken place. They were told that the Five were indeed once mortals who had bargained with the Raven Queen's predecessor as the deity of Death, Nerull, for eternal life. This was granted to them by Nerull, in exchange for what each of them valued the most. Having secured this bargain, forming a compact with Nerull meant that their eternal life was driven by deeper laws of the universe which other gods, including the Raven Queen, were powerless to overturn, even after Nerull's demise. Indeed, attempting to do so would unleash the wrath of those bound to protect the laws of the gods, such as the maruts.
But mortals are not bound in the same way as others in the multiverse, and while the Raven Queen was powerless to intervene personally, the existence of the Five made mockery of her portfolio as the mistress of mortality, their abominable immortality an insult to nature. As a paladin of the Raven Queen, Kravis immediately understood and pledged his service to ending this unnatural state. So did the other Fluffers, especially after they saw the devastation wrought upon the land by the ritual which elevated them to their current position.
Moreover, while the Raven Queen could not to molest the Five herself, she could provide a degree of assistance to those that might. So the raven first explained who were the Five. One was Roderik Brighthelm, a holy warrior of virtue. Another was Fernando Felliane, man of letters and wit. The third was Chorral the Conqueror, barbarian warlord of the northern wastelands. The fourth was the Wanderer in Green, ranger and explorer. The last was Lirabeth Duskflower, cleric and protector of the weak.
Each of these had lost the thing most precious to them, and each had as a result lost a portion of their soul as part of the transformation. The Five had tried hard to cover their tracks, so that who they were could not easily be traced back to their origins. For each had created a tomb, which the ignorant thought contained their mortal remains, but which instead memorialised the intangible losses they had suffered as part of their transformation. And within these tombs rested the keys to their undoing. By plumbing the depths these tombs could the Fluffers begin their assault upon the Five in earnest.
But where to begin? Fluxx remembered a tale of yore, in which a kingdom fell due to the betrayal of its king by a villain known as Roderik the Black. Now a land of bleak moors and pitiless coasts, the centre of this land was now known as the Grand Duchy of Avrigaunt. With Captain Tattoo, his crew and ship placed at their disposal, the Fluffers took their leave of the goddess, headed back down the cliffside stair, and set off once more into the beyond on their spelljammer.
After passing through another portal back to the mortal realm, the ship landed at the capital city, indeed the only city, in the Grand Duchy of Avrigaunt. Asking around about Roderik the Black (or Black Rod) evinced an emphatic response from the local populace. Roderik the Black was a most hated character blamed for the downfall of a golden age of peace and prosperity, and indeed attempted discussion generally led to violence. (Although, it might be said, two thousand years was a long time to hold a grudge.) Escaping from this unrest, the Fluffers reached the ducal palace. The Grand Duke himself was much less bothered by the mention of Black Rod and allowed the heroes to stay the night. He also pointed them in the direction of some ruins, about a day's journey across the moors, which were supposed to be the remains of Black Rod's castle. He also told them that there had been some strange disappearances lately in the region and that he would be grateful if, while they were there, the adventurers could investigate the area for him.
Duly rested, the Fluffers set off for the ruins. But they were not to get their unmolested. A group of militant angels materialised in the sky above and, declaring them enemies of the will of the gods, attacked. But the Fluffers were up the the challenge and soon continued on their way, broken feathers and shattered celestial bodies in their wake.
As evening fell they reached the ruins they sought. The remains of a town, now virtually swallowed by the grass and heather, lay beneath the more substantial broken ramparts of the fortress. A lone, flickering yellow light shone through the arrow slits in the gatehouse.
On approach, a hunchback mute greeted them. Capering to make himself understood, and clearly largely deprived of his wits, the hunchback clearly lived in squalour within this outer part of the castle. Beyond were the crumbled outer bailey and keep. Naturally suspicious, the Fluffers encouraged the hermit to lead them in to the castle proper. He gladly obliged, and with a lantern at the end of a pole he led them into the bailey. But they were not alone, and a barrage of crossbow bolts greeted them. For within the keep lurked drow, who opened fire as the Fluffers approached.
The hermit scurried back to the gatehouse but the adventurers charged, crashing through the doors and into the ruin. The drow continued to fire from a rickety-looking wooden gallery atop some stairs. Kravis dashed up the stairs, but it was a trap, as they collapsed underneath him to release a swarm of biting spiders. Quin attempted to cut the enemy off by ducking through another doorway, but instead found a giant cyclops with an large axe and a hostile temperament. As Kravis battled the spider swarm and Quin traden blows with the cyclops, the rest of the Fluffers barrelled up the stairs to take on the crossbow-wielding drow. There they found another ambush, as a drow assassin attempted to insinuate his way through the melee to make devastating sneak attacks. But he and his fellows were repelled, and soon the assassin was fleeing for his life under the cover of magical darkness. He would have made it, if not for a timely rap on the skull with a cauldron from the hermit as the dark elf attempted to flee through the gatehouse. Soon drow, cyclops and spiders were subdued.
Tracking through the ruins, the heroes found a spiral staircase descending into the castle cellars. There, a passage led to another downward stairway, and then an antechamber with a statue of a man on horseback. Written upon the plinth in archaic Common was “Beyond is the tomb of Roderik Brighthelm, loyal liegeman and honourable soldier.” They also found a snoozing goblin, an ineffective watchman defending the tomb from interlopers. Gabbling for its life, it cheerfully betrayed its master, an exiled formorian with his drow, cyclops and goblin retinue. It had recently taken up residence in the tomb after fleeing the Feywild and the revenge of one of its fellows, to plot its counterstrike and sow a litle terror in the mortal realm. With this intelligence, the Fluffers tied up the goblin (for they were not cruel).
More steps led down to a large chamber. Upon plinths stood statues which the more perceptive of the party recognised as saints from the respective churches of Erathis and Bahamut. But the intellectual fun was interrupted by a large group of cyclops, drow and goblins who seethed out of side-chambers to attack. Our heroes, however, were equal to the task and slew them all. Exploring from whence they came, they found desecrated shrines to both Erathis and Bahamut, now turned into the (deceased) monsters' quarters.
Back in the main chamber, more stairs led down to a T-junction. Turning to one direction, they found themselves in a sequential series of three chambers which, originally, celebrated the tripartite virtues of chivalry: honour, truth and mercy. But now they celebrated the deranged art of the trap-building goblin. As the party charged the assembled goblins in the first room, they found themselves doused with corrosive, blinding powder from a hidden receptacle above the door. As the running battle moved into the next room, a concealed ballista opened up on them. Finally, as the lead goblin and twisted trapper bombarded the adventurers with bolts of magic from the last room, a swinging pendulum by the door with a heavy club at its end knocked flying all those trying to close and finish him and his giant scorpion pet. But it takes more than underhand tactics to defeat the Fluffers, and soon the goblins (and scorpion) were no more.
Returning to the T-junction. More stairs led ever deeper to the tomb. In the next chamber sat the formorian, a deformed giant of the Fey Realm, with his drow and cyclops cronies. The Fuffers hoped to succeed in a surprise attack, but the keen ears of their opponents frustrated that . Nevertheless, they attacked, despite the formorian's bodyguard being arrayed around him. The formorian doused the battlefield in patches of inky blackness while its pet conjurer fired insanity-inducing rays, and the battle was tough. But the Fluffers were, once again, victorious.
The next part of the tomb was locked behind a metal gate, but the heroes recovered a golden key from the formorian's body that opened it. Further they descended, entering an octagonal chamber. On low pillars sat urns, while in the centre of the room was a statue of a blade-covered automaton. At the base of the this statue was the body of a drow, surrounded by a dried pool of blood. The wall-carvings indicated that these were the remains of Roderik Brighthelm's most highly regarded servants. The Fluffers were immediately suspicious, but mistook the scene, for the statue was inanimate. Instead, Brighthelm's staff continued to serve in death, manifesting as poltergeists. They attacked by hurling their foes at the statue to impale them upon its spikes, and several of the adventurers felt the kiss of its blades. But Fluxx wielded the holy wrath of Corellon to send them back to the afterworld.
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Having disposed of the poltergeists, the Fluffers found a series of four rooms. Each contained a low plinth with an item upon it, with wall carvings showing Brighthelm performing some sort of deed.
In the first room, dull iron armour sat displayed, with the walls showing Roderik slaying an evil blackguard. In the next was a huge hammer, with the reliefs showing Brighthelm laying low a rampaging giant warlord. In the third was a stuffed demon, and the walls displayed carvings of Roderik slaying the abomination. The last was a golden ring, the carvings showing Brighthelm engaged in the overthrow of an obese, bejewelled tyrant. Each of the the items were clearly momentoes of past victories. And, of course, each of the room contained a puzzle or trap to keep the items safe.
In the first, a trap fired lightning bolts at anyone attempting to take the armour. In the second, the bound spirit of the ginat chieftain hmself returned for a single swipe of his spectral hammer at the intruders. In the third, a swarm of biting beetles erupted from the hollow skin, while the fourth was guarded by an illusion of an unbeatable trap when in fact there was no other protection. Of course, none of these prevented the adventurers from doing what they did best, and the four items were quickly stowed away or put to immediate use: Kravis wore the armour, Quin took the hammer, the demon skin could, with a little effort, be made into magical leather armour for Dumpling, while the ring was non-magical but still valuable as loot.
Moving deeper into the complex, the heores found themselves in a large, cruciform chamber which seemed to house the graves of Brighthelm's closest acolytes abd men-at-arms and, in a magnificent tomb in the centre of the room, his own warhorse. But, of course, time and evil influence had run its course and, as they made ntheir way in, four undead horsemen, mounted on skeletal steeds and burning with hellfire, burst from the tombs. And from the central tomb emerged Brighthelm's faithful companion, now transformed into a blazing nightmare. These battled to prevent the Fluffers travelling any further, and with flame and necrotic energy they battled the forces of truth and light. But though handing out grievous wounds they could not prevail, and the Fluffers moved on to the final chamber.
In this plain room sat a tomb, the carved effigy of a man in armour lying in repose upon it. In its hands it clasped a tome, a real book with leather covers and brass fastening. Upon the spine was written "The Life and Works of Roderik Brighthelm". But before they could sieze the codex, an apparition of Brighthelm himself appeared, outraged at the intrusion. A shining beacon of radiance, he smote about him with a shining sword, blinding rays of brightness and a moral outrage at underhand tactics (such as stabbing him from behind while he was distracted). The Fluffers battered at his poweful defences, and after a long and brutal fight he was eventually destroyed.
They seized the book and then retreated back to the fresh air above. A brief perusal of the book indicated that Brighthelm's reputation as the evil traitor Black Rod was untrue: in fact, the old king was betrayed by the ancestor of the man who now sat upon the ducal throne. Brighthelm himself had remained faithful to the end, but disillusioned following his villification he was easy prey to the blandishments of Nerull. His only bretrayal, in the end, was of himself.
Of course, the Duke himself was unkeen for such information to leak into the wider world, given that a large part of his legitimacy rested on the legent of Black Rod. So when the heores emerged into the light, the Duke and his bodyguard were there to ensure that the truth was never revealed. After the Fluffers killed them, the hunchback revealed that he was, in fact, the last heir to the old king and that he could now retake his rightful place now that the Duke was dead (and, incidentally, that he wasn't actually mute).
The Fluffers shrugged disinterestedly and moved on with their quest.
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Reading the tome they had recovered, Fluxx noticed a reference to a certain adventuring companion of Brighthelm's: Fernando Felianne, a bard of repute. It also mention his home town, Rigsgate. Fluxx was aware of a place called New Rigsgate, a centre of learning and the arts. A pretty port city, filled with libraries, theatres and universities and ruled by a council of artists and philosophers, this sounded just up Fluxx's street. He prepared himself for intellectual discourse (with was, otherwise, sadly lacking with his present company). Tattoo set course immediately. However, Dumpling had urgent family business, and had to leave the quest for the moment.
The ship arrived in New Rigsgate, and the Fluffers began asking around after Fernando Felianne. They had little luck until one be-toga'ed citizen suggested that they try the Great Library. Even there, though their enquiry initially met with bafflement. They were sent to see the F-librarian, but he himself could not help. But he had some subordinates, including the FE-librarian. In the stacks that he was personally responsible, he found a very narrow folio. Most of the pages seemed to have been ripped out, but two remained. The Fluffers peered at them intently.
One was a review of a play by Fellianne:
Perhaps it is best that Fernando Felliane is no longer in the land of the living. A revival of his "A Play What I Wrote" at the Paradisi caused a riot in the theatre district that left over fifty dead, including the entire cast, and a fire that levelled the building and several other nearby properties.
So what caused this sudden and violent outpouring of good taste in a venue normally associated with the baring of the flesh and the titillation of the baser urges? Surely the clientele of the Paradisi would be immune to such atrocities as a production of a Felliane play?
Sadly, dear reader, this critic can only applaud the destruction of anyone and anything that would allow such a crime against Art to take place. For I braved the horror that was the First Act of "A Play What I Wrote" and can assure you that the murder and arson that ensued thereafter were sad but brutal necessities.
Even now I feel rage well up within me as half-remembered fragments of dialogue, of such inanity as to render one speechless with fury, pollute my memory. {I will not render them here upon the page, dear reader, for they will render neither illumination nor amusement, but rather anger and deep distress.}
Felliane may be turning in his grave in the Necropolis beyond the city gates as I write this, but I for one have no sympathy. Perversely, I take comfort from the rampaging of a bloody-handed mob if it demonstrates that even within the meanest intellect can be found a spark of aesthetic sensibility. It is sad that such a spark was entirely absent from Fernando Felliane.
The other fragment was a short poem:
There was a young woman from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
She lay on her back
Opened her crack
And piddled all over the ceiling
As the Fluffers mulled these over, a rumpus began as the High Librarian, a patrician individual called Fatouleh, immediately attempted to expel the adventurers from the Library. Horrified by their interest in Felianne, who was generally considered to be the worst poet and playwrite in the history of Rigsgate and whose works had, therefore, been suppressed, the High Librarian did not want to see bad art flourish. Fluxx did not particularly disagree, based upon the evidence to hand, although Kravis, ever the controversialist, said he enjoyed the poem.
In the end, rather than douse a place of learning in blood, the adventurers consented to leave. However, Fluxx felt something be slipped into his pocket in the scuffle, and when they got outside he found a short note. Claiming to be from the "Friends of Felianne", it suggested the Fluffers meet go to a tavern, the Quip and Pen, and ask for Marco at the bar. Following up on this lead, the Fluffers elected that Kravis, for reasons unclear, should be the one to make the approach. After a brief misunderstanding, the party were led to a backroom.
Here was the meeting of the Friends of Felianne, a group dedicated to maintaining his good name. They stated that Felianne was instead much maligned, and that a rival of his, Macristo, was responsible for the blackening of his name. Fluxx was unconvinced: clearly, there was the quest to be performed, but on the other, as a follower of Corellon he was no more interested in promulgating bad art that was High Librarian Fatouleh. As a consequence, he was leery of entering an alliance with individuals of such dubious taste.
However, the Friends did have one particularly useful thing to add to the proceedings: they knew where Felianne's tomb was. New Rigsgate was built a few miles away from the original city of Rigsgate, which sank into a swamp and was abandoned following an earthquake. In the necropolis there, Felianne's neglected sepulchre could be found, although the area now was dominated by a particularly unpleasant troll tribe. A member of the Friends called Spawn (who only claimed to be a member "for a laugh" as he seemed rather embarrassed to be there with the other Felianne nerds) offered to lead the way.
As Fluxx vacillated, the doors was suddenly kicked down. There stood a robed council spellsword with his bonded golem companion, with more behind him. "You are under arrest for promulgating bad art!" he cried. As the forces of law and order raided the place, the Fluffers tried to slip out a back exit. But the spellswords had staked out the back too, and the Fluffers found themselves hemmed in. As the fleeing Friends were rounded up and arrested, the adventurers decided that a bloodbath in the city would not be a good idea. So instead, Fluxx opened a portal to a nearby overlooking balcony and the Fluffers, with Spawn in tow, escaped over the rooftops and back to the ship. They immediately set sail for the ruins of Old Rigsgate.
The Fluffers made their way cautiously through troll country. But this was in vain, for the trolls found them. A troll champion, with his retinue of cave trolls and a troll witch attacked them in the cemetary. But the heroes were able to manouevre more adeptly about the tombs and memorials than the cumbersome trolls. First the they brought down the champion, then the cave trolls, and finally the witch. Spawn turned out to be a powerful sorcerer, sending bouncing bolts of chaos about the battlefield. And so they found themselves before the tomb of Fernando Felianne.
The tomb itself was relatively nondescript - a stone box with a rusted iron gate. Within, a stair led down into darkness. At the bottom was a corridor with ended at an arch blocked with a solid wall.
As the Fluffers considered this, another intruder to the tomb appeared - a giant ooze commonly known as a black pudding. Flopping from the ceiling it attempted to make a meal of the heroes. Weapon blows cleaved off portions of it that lived on as malign miniature replicas that had to be individually killed as well. But the ooze had met its match, and the pudding had soon had its chips.
Considering the blank arch, it was clear (to Fluxx at least) that it was a magical portal of some kind. On the lintel above it was written:
The worst poem in the world
After brief discussion, the Fluffers recited the poem about the young woman from Ealing. The portal activated, and the party stepped through.
They found themselves on a stage in a myseterious theatre. Looking around, there seemed to be no easy way from the stage. In the auditorium sat a single mysterious figure. "Show us what you can do," he insisted.
Each of the Fluffers tried to demonstrate their mastery of a unique skill. Spawn attempted some acting, Fluxx tried oratory and Klondike acrobatics (because that always works). Only Quin displayed any real aptitude with his show of strength and stamina.
"You'll have to do," grunted the shadowy figure.
Suddenly, the party found that they were dressed in character. Quin was wearing a toga, playing Oblivious the Sage. Fluxx was dressed in an explorer's pith helmet and khaki shirt and shorts, as Sir Carmichael. Klondike, to everyone's horror, was wearing a leotard, as he was Gustav the Strongman. And Spawn was wearing a dinner suit as Roger McQuickly, gentleman thief. The set was of a drawing room in a country house. To their horror, they realised they were now in starring roles in the infamous "A Play What I Wrote.
Looking out at the audience, it was quickly apparent that, while it was made up of men and woman of different sizes and shapes, they all had the same face of an angry middle-aged man. This peculiar audience, indeed, were hostile, cat-calling and throwing things. Klondike wondered if the face was that of Felianne, but Fluxx recognised if from a bust in the High Library as that of Macristo.
And then the play began. The butler, Schloss, entered and announced that Inspector Gribbin and Lady Marchant were about to enter. This they duly did, to boos from the audience. Inspector Gribbin intoned that he had been called to investigate, as Lady Marchant had been "attacked in the shubbery". He needed the assembled worthies (played by the Fluffers) to prove their innocence.
The Fluffers acted for all they were worth, but the roles they had been given were sadly miscast. They were unable to infuse their characters with life, and the audience became restive. Finally, to some relief by the Fluffers, the butler revealed that it was indeed he who had attacked Lady Marchant, for he was in fact Schloss the Vampire Lord. As he attacked our heroes, the audience finally rioted and also stormed the stage with murder in mind.
Schloss invaded Quin's mind and set him on the party, but it was a petty victory in an otherwise one-sided contest that led to the vampire's destruction. The angry mob were beaten back as well, and soon the theatre was empty.
Or nearly so, for the shadowy figure they had encountered earlier stepped forward. It was the shade of Fernando Felianne, holding a copy of his complete works. The shade explained that the party had passed the test so that they could receive his full folio. He also explained that "The Play What I Wrote" was in fact a cruel pastiche of his rival, Macristo, and not intended as a serious work. But while he was away adventuring, Macristo was able to blacken his name and pretend that in fact Felianne was a hack. In the aftermath of the great earthquake and the founding of New Rigsgate, Macristo was one of the new order's founding fathers, and took further revenge by destroying or suppressing Felianne's work so that no one could know differently. Saddened and depressed, Felianne then took the fateful step of joining with the rest of the Five and falling to Nerull's temptation of immortality.
As the shade faded away, the tome was left behind. Indeed, within it were scintillating jewels of prose and rhyme, vaulting wit and aching tragedy, trenchant criticism and lyrical rendition. Clutching the book, the Fluffers found themselves magically returned to the tomb.
But on leaving it for the ruins of Old Rigsgate, they found themselves confronted once more by High Librarian Fatouleh and some more council spellswords and golem guardians. But this time the adventurers did not hold back, and unleashed such a devastating rain of spells and steel that the forces arrayed against them were virtually obliterated. The High Librarian decided that discretion was the better part of valour and teleported away, and the party went on their way back to the ship.
Perusing the book for more details, Fluxx found reference in a letter to an adventuring companion of Felianne's, Chorral the Conqueror, and his homeland in the frozen north. Tattoo immediately plotted a course and the Fluffers embarked on the next part of their quest.
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The Fluffers stopped off on their way to the icy wastes, and picked up Dumpling once more (and ditched Spawn). Then they made their way to Abbasfjord, where Chorral the Conqueror was reputed to have stomped all those millenia ago. Fluxx recalled the area was now dominated by frost giants, with the human population very much kept in their place under the tyrannical rule of the jarls. There was also debate about whether to pronounce Chorral as "Korral" or "Chorral" - no conclusion was reached.
On arrival, they found a mean village by the shingle beach, with malnourished children and adults crushed under the inclement climate and servitude to the giants. But they were welcomed cautiously by the village headman, offered some dried whale blubber, and when asked he told the story of the foretold return of the Conqueror to free them from their brutal rulers. He also told them that the Conqueror's remains were supposedly in the Cairn Fields, the site of an ancient battle where the giants defeated the human armies under Chorral and instituted their long, bitter rule.
While Fluxx talked to the headman, and came dangerously close to mocking his accent, a loud roar was heard outside. The trembling villagers explained that the jarl's tribute-gatherer had arrived. As the Fluffers stepped outside, they found a frost giant mounted on the back of a mammoth, three winter wolves at his side. The giant spied them, noted their nice gear, and demanded it as tribute. Discussion, naturally, deteriorated rapidly from there.
Klondike hurled himself into combat, his axe stiking once, twice into the mounted giant. The rest of the party then entered the fray, with Quin keeping the three wolves pinned down, albeit while taking several savage wounds. As the rest of the group engaged with the frigid lupine horrors, they released cold blasts from their jaws, hitting Fluxx and Quin especially hard. And while Klondike killed the giant, his mount took its revenge by taking him in its trunk and hurling him across the battlefield and then stampeding. But Dumpling halted its charge, and together the Fluffers gained the upper hand, finishing their enemies.
The villagers were somewhat perturbed by this turn of events, saying that the jarl would now visit terrible reprisals upon them. The Fluffers advised instead that, in the harsh environment, eating the evidence would be appropriate. So a horde of starveling children descended upon the corpses, butchering mammoth, wolf and giant alike.
The headman also reported (in passing) that others had passed by, looking for the remains of the Conqueror. These, however, had been less friendly than the Fluffers, raising the ancestors buried in the beach as skeletons and marching off to the Cairn Fields with them. When they were described (a man in heavy armour with a large sword, and a man and woman "with horns") the heroes realised that they were following in the wake of Orris Gar, Kravis' nemesis and now a servant of Orcus. Kravis immediately began polishing his axe.
They set off for the Cairn Fields, maybe a day's march away. By nightfall, they had reached its perifery. In a steep valley, filled with scree from the broken cliffs, lay under a dusting of snow a series of ancient mounds containing the dead from the battle between the giants and the humans. The adventurers set camp, wary of attack from undead.
And they were right to be wary, for ancient frost giant shades attacked them in the night. Three wraiths weilding swords of smoke rose from their graves, accompanied by a shambling giant bodak. But they were little match for our heroes and were swiftly despatched.
In the night the Fluffers saw a cold blue glow in the distance, but decided against investigating. The following morning, following the tracks of Orris Gar, they realised that they had seen the camp where their enemies had spent the night. They climbed further, into the lowering cloud that clung to the mountain tops. On the fog, they heard voices - one side ancient and raspy, the other with the distinctive accent of Qom. Dumpling and Klondike crept forward. There they could see Orris Gar and his tiefling cronies, Dazmitra and Ashkoram, negotiating with three withered skeletons seated in thrones carved into a small natural amphitheatre at the mountain summit. But Klondike was careless and alerted the Orcus-worshippers to his and Dumpling's presence.
Without preamble (or providing any chance for Orris Gar to monologue or gloat) Klondike charged in, set about Dazmitra with his axe, and then charged straight back out again. She wasn't, however, going to take this lying down (even though Klondike had, indeed, knocked her over) and blasted Dumpling and Klondike with dazing missiles and blasts and arcane energy. As the rest of the Fluffers made for the fight from their place of concealment, Orris Gar charged into battle, attempting, but failing, to behead Dumpling. While Quin held the front line, Fluxx opened a magical gate to get himself and Kravis into battle behind the enemy's position. Kravis gleefully swung at Orris Gar, but the Orcusites' skeleton followers began to pepper Fluxx with arrows. Ashkoram then set Klondike a terrible quandary: serve Orcus or suffer the consequences. After a great deal of thought, and cost-benefit consideration, Klondike decided in the end to take the consequences, and was wracked with agony as a result. But Orris Gar was taking a pasting at the front, and needed to be extracted from harm's way by Ashkoram as the Fluffers pounded on his defences.
Then the unthinkable happened: with a terrible blow from his gigantic greatsword, Gar felled the mighty Quin. But Fluxx was on hand with healing puissance, and got him back on his feet. As Orris Gar was cut down, his final blow was a deadly headsman's chop that sent Kravis to the ground. But so awesome was Fluxx's healing, he managed to grow Kravis a new head, and he recovered almost instantly. With Gar dead, the enemy's line collapsed, and the Fluffers moved in on the two tieflings. Dazmitra fought back with vile arcane powers, at one point erasing Klondike's face, blinding him but arguably improving his overall look. However, Fluxx finished her with the grace of Corellon. As Ashkoram fought to reach his sister's killer, he was overwhelmed. The party them mopped up the skeleton warriors with ease. The Fluffer's were victorious, and Kravis' nemesis killed.
The Fluffer's then turned to regard the three impassively-watching undead who had witnessed the fight. They turned out to be the clan leaders who had fought, and died, under the Conqueror. They agreed to let the Fluffers know where to find the Conqueror's anonymous grave in the Cairn Fields, but under one condition: they must first defeat the frost giant jarl.