My daughter and I came up with a new concept while we were shopping today. I'd like to think it wasn't at all influenced by the fact that I was on too much cold medicine and didn't have enough sleep.
So, thanks to the fact that I had a hard time reading the word "cornucopia" and the fact that said cornucopia had a suspiciously scorpion-like mean to it, a new holiday legend was born.
The Legend of the Thanksgiving Scorpion
Every year, as the leaves fall from the tree, the Thanksgiving Scorpion sneaks into kitchens across America and leaves cook books for all of the families across the country.
For everyone that has been good since last Thanksgiving, the Thanksgiving Scorpion collects their letters and takes out any recipies out of the cook books so that they never see the light of day. It helps if the request is accompanied by a shot of bourbon.
After Thanksgiving, for all the good people that haven't criticized their mother's cooking, the Thanksgiving Scorpion comes around and takes away all of the unidentifiable side dishes that are hiding among the left overs so that they are never seen again. But for those that make fun of mom's cooking, the Thankgsgiving Scorpion not only leaves the bad leftovers, but he also stings the Hell out of the offenders.
Please help me spread the word of the Thanksgiving Scorpion! Thanksgiving deserves a mascot it can be proud of!
Does it wear a little pilgrim's hat?
That's what the bourbon is for . . .
At least now we have a fictional character to blame fruitcake on.
No, no, he only leave fruitcake that others have already brought if you don't appease him or you aren't kind to mama's cooking. But the fruitcake is still spawned by someone else . . . can't pin that on the poor Thanksgiving Scorpion.
Oh, and don't forget to beat the rush and buy your castanets to show your support for the Thanksgiving Scorpion. If you buy them this weekend, you can avoid the rush on Wednesday!
You think that's bad, you should deal with the Thanksgiving Scorpion's neurotoxin.
Did everyone leave out their bourbon last night? I'm must be getting pretty close to go time for all the meal preparers out there . . .
I found a dead six inch centipede on my porch this morning, does that have anything do do with your Scorpion? I didn't leave any bourbon out so I was wondering if it was a punishment or a warning.
Best to leave a double shot tonight, just to be sure. The Thanksgiving Scorpion can be a surly holiday mascot sometimes.
What does the Tgiving Scorpion do to people who skip straight from Halloween to Christmas?
I think he turns their head into a cabbage.
I was hoping for something more vicious. BTW, as I browse, NatGeo is showing a documentary on the Scorpion King. Coincidence? I think not.
What does the Tgiving Scorpion do to people who skip straight from Halloween to Christmas?
He's currently undecided. He's rather ticked off that he doesn't get any play on the store shelves after Halloween clears out. His first instinct was to sting the Hell out of them, but he's afraid that he can only play that card so many times . . .
As an alternative, he might just bring all of the bad leftovers from all the good people's houses over to the offenders house.
And drink all of their bourbon.
Sometimes first instincts are best. He should go for the face.
Sweet memories of simple youth...
Was it some kind of modified air pump? Air pump harpoon?
Hmm...ah...well...er...uh...huh.
Would you care for anything to....read?
KEJR - Is it true that the Thanksgiving Scorpion is a Herald of Gygax?
When the Thanksgiving Scorpion shows up, what's to keep someone from just stomping on him?
Goodness . . . does anyone ask why no one clubs the Easter Bunny and makes stew out of him? No respect for arthropods these days . . . every since that sad incident with the New Years Lobster . . .
Goodness . . . does anyone ask why no one clubs the Easter Bunny and makes stew out of him?
Well, if an opportunity came about...
...His size...
I'm thinking it depends on the avatar as it is manifested at any one place and time. There'd be times it would want to sneak around someone's house, and other times it would want to attack some of the balloons in the Macy's parade as it clings to the side of a skyscaper.
I think the Thanksgiving Scorpion should sting the hell out of people who submit bad recipes for cookbooks. Like the person who submitted Chicken Supreme in our old church's cookboook. Sounded great but tasted like I'd already vomited it out.
Does the T-Day Scorpion look anything like this? link
I think the TGS would be honored by any effigies that were treated respectfully, with fear. But you're gonna whack the scorpion, no? Still, there is a resonance between pinata and cornucopia which needs to be explored. And I think that, given, KnightErrantJR's origin story, the scorpion's resemblance to the cornucopia rules out mechascorpions.
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Cornucopias and piñatas are both full of goodies and I have been to a couple of Christmas parties that had a Santa piñata so I figured that it might be ok but I wanted to check first. Santa still bring presents after you beat the crap out of his effigy but scorpions are a bit more testy than a jolly fat elf.
I think the TGS would be honored by any effigies that were treated respectfully, with fear. But you're gonna whack the scorpion, no? Still, there is a resonance between pinata and cornucopia which needs to be explored. And I think that, given, KnightErrantJR's origin story, the scorpion's resemblance to the cornucopia rules out mechascorpions.
Maybe the mechascorpions are the TGS enforcers? Kinda like elves on steroids? They look ripe for roid rage.
Cornucopias and piñatas are both full of goodies and I have been to a couple of Christmas parties that had a Santa piñata so I figured that it might be ok but I wanted to check first. Santa still bring presents after you beat the crap out of his effigy but scorpions are a bit more testy than a jolly fat elf.
Maybe this is a cultural or regional difference? I'd never beat Santa. Seems like I mostly remember burros and abstract shapes. Sometimes monsters. Maybe once a pig.
@ Emperor 7 - I had some kind of mechascorpion-vehicle toys when I was a kid...
@ KEJR - Hey, you are neglecting your own creation; the questions are piling up.