People of Pezzack


Lost Omens Campaign Setting General Discussion

Liberty's Edge

The two sentences the Gazetteer devotes to Pezzack gave me the biggest laugh I've had all week.

If you are unfamiliar with the people of Pezzack, I give you two characters who are probably voiced by John Cleese and Michael Palin.

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His Detestable General Boregill Borgal, Right Hand of Archdevil Tuultheon: Ah, I have reports from Regrettable Admiral Swain that all ships are in position off the coast, just as our final regiment is taking position at the base of the mountains. These sniveling believers in neutral alignment will rue the day they crossed our infernal might!

Lieutenent Leowald, the Obsequeious Pinky of Same: Very much so, sir, although I remain cautious about our undoubtedly assured victory.

Boregill: Your so-called caution wanders uncomfortably towards treason, Lieutenant. How can you fail to appreciate the fire-soaked power of the Cheliax? We have them cut off at every point! We will use our Tower Shield Brigade to advance, rendering any bowfire useless until we close in with our crushing melee force! If pity was an option, I would employ it just now!

Leowald: Well, while our land- and sea-stragety is solid indeed, I worry about possible conflicts in the air. We're very short on ranged weapons, after all.

Boregill: Whyever would we worry about that?

Leowald: It's just that they fly, sir.

Boregill: Beg pardon?

Leowald: Ah, they fly. They move through the air. They dance between clouds, flitting from precipice to precipice of the mountains they call home.

Boregill: They FLY?

Leowald: Oh, yes, sir, it's on record. Well, I'm assuming they flit. I'm taking a bit of poetic license, there.

Boregill: Do they have mages at their disposal?

Leowald: Oh, no, or rather, perhaps, but the main thing is that they have wings... We're assuming there's some sort of level adjustment, there.

Boregill: Sweet Asmodeous Ruling the Depths! And we're provoking these people?!

Leowald: Sir, you were very confident about our chances only moments ago-

Boregill: Well, you didn't see fit to tell me about the wings! Why was I not informed of this?

Leowald: It's common knowledge on the territories. Look at their currency, sir! It's right there!

Boregill: That's an eagle!

Leowald: Actually, it's a picture of a dog, but I point out the text underneath: "We Fly With Our Wings."

Boregill: ...Is it too much to hope that's a metaphor?

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