My players spend a lot of their downtime sampling the delights of the big city in CotCT. One of them's a bard, so the player wants to know about different performing styles he runs across.
Does anyone have any unusual or interesting performances or songs that they give to players for this kind of thing. (Note: I will be taking advantage of the "goblin songs" on this site by having a goblin warchanter at an "underground" club.) Silly, epic, unusual, interesting, archetypal... you name it, I'd love to know about it.
Plus, I've got to figure that other DMs are going to need some easy "Bard Scenes" for this path and with Lem as an iconic for this setting....
I assume you can find a lot of these kind of silly songs on internet.
Many classic songs are changed into parodies, changing the lyrics into something more D&Desque.
But instead of taking something made by someone else, i think it would be more interesting to encourage your players to make up their own stuff, and reward them accordingly, in various social benefits (reaction bonus from public, popularity, fans) or even in XP.
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My players spend a lot of their downtime sampling the delights of the big city in CotCT. One of them's a bard, so the player wants to know about different performing styles he runs across.
Does anyone have any unusual or interesting performances or songs that they give to players for this kind of thing. (Note: I will be taking advantage of the "goblin songs" on this site by having a goblin warchanter at an "underground" club.) Silly, epic, unusual, interesting, archetypal... you name it, I'd love to know about it.
Plus, I've got to figure that other DMs are going to need some easy "Bard Scenes" for this path and with Lem as an iconic for this setting....
I posted an ogre song in another thread. The text of it is included in this post. (It's about the level of quality you'd expect from a dimwitted ogre with delusions of talent) Note: for variety, "I" can be "we" and "smash" can be "crush".
I will kill you
make you dead
I will kill you
smash your head
I will beat you
shiny red
I will kill you
make you dead
I'll beat you in the beating place
the beating place is in the face
I don't care 'bout your creed or race
I'll just beat you in the face
Which of those is the chorus and which is the verse is left up to the judgment of the observer, assuming the ogre isn't performing the actions described in the song on them.
For some more inspiring music, see if you can track down a Tourdion CD. (this may be a herculean task; I only got mine because I know someone who is friends with them, but it's worth the effort, even if you have to wait until they come to a renfaire near you) As an example of the kind of stuff you'll find on there, here's the lyrics to my favorite song from the studio CD. Note so it's clear: I did NOT write this. I am NOT taking credit for the lyrics that follow. My level of talent is nowhere near this. I can write bad ogre poetry, but genuinely moving stuff like this is beyond my ken.
Down in the Valley so Shady
When I was a lad I would run and I'd play
Wild and free in the valley so gay
An old broom for a steed, and old stick for a sword
my friends and myself would act out in a war
We'd laugh and we'd shout with no care in our minds
no sense to life's danger or the passage of time
with our innocence to shield us and our youth forth to yield
our lives were complete just to run through the field
down in the valley so shady
down in the valley so shady
When twice older still I ran and I played
still wild and free in the valley so gay
but no need for a horse no need for a blade
just chasin' the lasses, steal a kiss in the glade
We'd laugh and we'd dance with no care in our minds
naive to life's dangers and the passing of time
with our innocence fleeting and our young childhood gone
yet our lives were complete like the love in a song
down in the valley so shady
down in the valley so shady
Well in a flash I was older and I played not no more
'cause my freedom was taken by a call of to war
now a bonny black stallion and a broadsword of steel
were my only friends as I marched on the field
I'd scream and I'd shout with a tear in my eye
facing fear of life's dangers and the cruel hands of time
oh how did I long for those days that gone by
to be back with my friends out of reach of death's scythe
down in the valley so shady
down in the valley so shady
Now I return to where I ran and I played
to be wild and free in the valley so gay
but no need for a horse, no need for a blade
to be back with my friends by the trees in the glade
we'll laugh and we'll dance and we'll never again cry
for we're far from life's dangers and the passage of time
as I lay me down softly and I look towards the sky
I hear children playing above me, close by
down in the valley so shady
down in the valley so shady
Another one from a different friend of hers in the SCA is this:
Cripples' Shield Wall
Consider the plight of a one-legged knight as he braces his crutch with his shield
He'll stand still and wait, 'til you come for the bait, then you'll find that the bastard won't yield.
Do you knock his one leg down - there's still no relief; he'll crawl down the field with a sword in his teeth
And the reach of his swordarm defies all belief
when he fights in the cripples shield wall
beware the old dame who's arthritic and lame, so knee-sprung she barely can stand
for her heart and her eye are still steady and spry; she's the best crossbow shot in the land
with a repeating crossbow and war arrow blade, she can pierce any armor that's ever been made
be glad she's not drawn to the highwayman's trade
she just fights in the cripples shield wall
no profit you'll find from the knight who is blind - he can hear you twelve paces away
he'll listen offhand 'til he's sure where you stand, then his bill will crease far more than hay
he can fight in the forest or river, the plain with his hearing unhampered by dark, fog, or rain
he must know his ground, but he'll sure bring you pain
and he fights in the cripples shield wall
pray do not go near the knight who can't hear, though he can't tell command calls at all
he reads signs from his friends and his post he defends with a lightning fast seven-foot maul
the say when he's whirling, it raises a breeze, and the head on its chain has been known to break trees
so when he starts swinging, the prudent man flees
where he fights in the cripples shield wall
watch out in a fight for the crippled armed knight, whose hand can't swing up only down
for he'll watch through the dance 'til he spies a good chance then his downstroke will cost you your crown
his shield arm will raise up his swordarm and then, he'll watch for a chance for his downstroke again
you know that he'll strike, but you never know when
and he fights in the cripples shield wall
beware, I implore, all ye masters of war who prefer to draft healthy young boys
for the blind old and lame can be good at this game when well-placed defending the toys
they've learned their art well, and they strike hard and true. If they've something to prove, then they'll prove it on you
the last line on earth that you'd want to drive through
you can swear is the cripples shield wall
beware of the cripples shield wall
I may post some more later, but the take-away is this: if you have friends in the SCA, bug them for music!
Some things I've thought up:
Gnome ventriloquist act
Elven Noh Theater troupe
Dwarf playing one of those really, really long horns, giving a performance of a single tone that changes slowly over time. Empties the bar of all but dwarves, who make up for the decreased patronage with their steady drinking
Drum circle
Guy on a street corner with two sticks and an overturned bucket
Bard telling the The Aristocrats joke