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It seems to me that the folks who do not want to see 4E come into being, or simply do not want to by into it, play with a group of friends on a regular basis and do not play much outside of that group.
For them the change is more about a threat to their group dynamics then it is about the actual change itself.
I play with a group of friends on a regular basis, but I also play a large number of games in the RPGA ... probably upwards of 40 to 50 times a year (some years even more than that).
I play with complete strangers quite frequently. When an RPGA mod is run the players have an expectation that the rules will be followed so that each table is the same rules experience.
In home games the rules can change by consensus. House variations can and do crop up all over the place. A great example of this has been the discussion on power attack. Some folks do not see why I think it is a problem.
It would seem that they don't play with people they don't know.
It seems that the folks that do not see 3.5 as broken are the ones that play in a more intimate setting where the rules can flex, change, or simply be ignored.
I tend to play in an environment where all of the rules apply all of the time. That is what leads me to see them as fundamentally flawed in many respects.