The Five Word Game!

[Tegan]

Also, "Gnomes: Cousins or Potential

[Heathansson]

Fire Hazards" won a Pulitzer

[Vattnisse]

Prize for best copperplate etching

[Heathansson]

in a comedy or public

[office_ninja]

fruit-hurling event. Best New Spell

[Vattnisse]

went to Beard Power, Greater,

[Heathansson]

from the Complete Hippie supplement.

[Tegan]

An honorable mention went to

[Heathansson]

the new feat, "mighty bombastic

[Vattnisse]

pronouncement", which enables a character

[Heathansson]

to say "tureen of marzapan"

[Tegan]

without activating their gag reflex.

[Heathansson]

Finally, best roleplayer went to

[Vy-Dann]

the rouge rogue, feeling blue

[Heathansson]

and lonely, like that song

[Tegan]

which gave him a green

[Heathansson]

face to match his smart

[Aberzombie]

and elegantly classy dinner jacket

[The Eldritch Mr. Shiny]

of yellow and orange tartan

[office_ninja]

shoulder frills. Snubbed was newcomer

[Lawgiver]

Shrimpo the Wonder Plebe, who

[Vattnisse]

was simply too glamourous for

[Aberzombie]

the audeince, causing much blindness

[office_ninja]

/deafness. "Fort saves all around!",

[Heathansson]

he said with a wicked

[office_ninja]

head twitch. "Cause I'm castin'

[Vattnisse]

the big one! Taste some

[Tegan]

of my powerful Plebean hookiepoo

[Aberzombie]

you sanctimonious, abberrant, demonic bastiches."

[Vattnisse]

His beard then lit up

[Aberzombie]

with righteous, blazing, heavenly fury

[office_ninja]

and lit up those damned

[The Eldritch Mr. Shiny]

half-dragon gnomes that have

[Tegan]

been the bane of the

[Vattnisse]

gardeners everywhere. Eldritch beard flaring,

[office_ninja]

he uttered the baleful incantation:

[drunken_nomad]

"Unta gleeben glouten globen...p-TANG!"

[Tegan]

Which caused the Rouge Rogue

[drunken_nomad]

and his pet mutt, Lang,

[Aberzombie]

to collapse as if they

[Celestial Healer]

had smelled Willie Nelson's sweaty

[Aberzombie]

booze and vomit stained hat.

[The Eldritch Mr. Shiny]

Meanwhile, back at the ranch,

[office_ninja]

vice-theocrat Wun Hung Gai was

[Vattnisse]

busy reinventing religious dogma. "Hopefully,

[The Eldritch Mr. Shiny]

I'll apotheosize by Monday," he

[office_ninja]

mused, polishing his otherwise unused

[The Eldritch Mr. Shiny]

hardcover copy of Dianetics by

[Vattnisse]

L. Ron Hubbard, autographed by