I haven't read this entire thread yet, but from what I've seen, I think I should draw your attention to the Stormwind Fallacy.
Here's a link to the best explanation I could find on short notice: http://forums.gleemax.com/wotc_archive/index.php/t-822626
But basically, in short, it can be summarized like this:
Tempest Stormwind wrote:
Just because one optimizes his characters mechanically does not mean he cannot also roleplay well. Just because a character plays his character well does not mean he cannot be optimized. As a corrollary, characters who are min/maxed are not automatically played worse than those who are not, and characters who are deliberately handicapped are not automatically played better than those who are not. It's easy to imagine players who are good at either one of those things, or bad at both, or good at both.
I enjoy optimization, to an extent. I like playing a character who is as effective at what he does as he can. D&D is, by it's nature, epic. So I want to play an epic hero. If I am going to be a wizard, I don't want to be any old wizard- I want to be Gandalf, or Belgarath. I want to play Achilles or Sparhawk. I want to be able to pitch in and not let my allies down.
I don't want to break the game. I find it fun to hunt for loopholes and the like, not so that I can play a character that can infinite Wish with the gate spell but for the joy of saying "hey! guys! look what I found!" Security experts spend their time looking at alarms and locks in order to find problems, not so that they can break into houses, but so that they can improve security in the future (and because they enjoy it).
I optimize, and I roleplay at the same time. Also, I try to be as nice as I can on forums.
As a side note, this is my first post on the Paizo boards. I go by dbay on WOTC.