Don't know if you'll check this again, but I want to say thanks for sticking with us as long as you did, and for trying.
Someday when your life calms down and allows more PbP, I hope to sit at your table again.
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Zirt squeaks in surprise at the presence of the strange creature, and then at the warning. She quickly nods an acknowledgment at the woman, then points at the crimson thing and speaks in a slightly-sleepy but strong voice, evoking a flash of light in front of the nasty creature's eyes.
Chillin' like a vill... er. Paladin. Hehehe. You made me chuckle.
Don't let it stress you. We'll be here.
Hey boss! Welcome back! :)
"Yes but there's no time!" calls the gnome as she runs out of the room.
I'm traveling this Thursday through Saturday, so my posting may be erratic. Probably won't have too much effect on this game... I should still be checking once a day or so.
Zirt's still form begins flailing wildly as her shrill voice is raised in protest. "Mother! Mother! Help! The hyukus are farniking the krats again! Mother!! Ahhhh!" There is a pause as the little gnome stops moving, and a moment later her voice, now slightly calmer, is heard again as she jumps out of bed. "Mr. Dovak?! Ms. Cyniq?? What's going on? Boarded? Who would want to rob us?!? I suppose we'd better go above!"
Zirt's eyes widen to the diameter of saucers at the sight of the elves and the strange angelic construct. She tugs on Dovak's elbow just to make sure he sees, too. "Mr. Dovak, look! Elves! We didn't have any elves in Whistledown, though I guess I saw a few half-elves come through on occasion with merchant caravans. But never any full elves! Do you think they're from Kyonin? My dear playmate Alison Trundlecorkitchpoffer used to say that her father had once been to Kyonin and that it was all bright and shiny and beautiful, and that all the elves were wise and intelligent and lovely to look at. Lady Alvaerele sure is lovely, don't you think? What a beautiful robe! Oh I do hope we can meet her and talk to her! I'm not sure what I'd say though!"
"Yes, I think we should go back as soon as we can get passage! I do hope Mr. Zeke sent that note to my uncle, and that he's not worrying -- my uncle, I mean, though I hope Mr. Zeke isn't worrying either. Ms. Cyniq, do you really think that other young man was looking at me??"
Haha. :D
Woot!
Zirt cranes her little neck around, trying to take in everything happening in the tavern all at once. At Cyniq's words, she turns to smile at the redhead. "You grew up there, then? I had never been into Magnimar until just a few days ago when I arrived to visit my uncle!"
Zirt giggles and watches the young man with his friends, a slight look of sympathy making its way onto her face for a moment.
Zirt squeaks in fright at Cyniq's whisper, her eyes going wide as she glances around in blushing panic.
Zirt's eyes are wide and her interest is entirely focused during the excavation of the library. When they finally arrive back in Absalom, she plops herself down at a table in the inn and lets out a long, tired sigh. "Oh my, I am so very tired! And to think that we were only here for a day... but I do think we'd better get back to Magnimar. Mr. Barkeeper, may I have some juice? I don't know what varieties you have, so you may surprise me! And Mr. Jaraim is so very kind to pay for it..." She turns a sweet, grateful smile to the dwarf.
Wrong alias!
Welcome, everyone. I'm looking forward to this!
I was thinking the DM was going to run us simultaneously for a short period of time until we get wrapped up here. There's no reason for the rest of the party to wait for us to start getting to know one another. :)
It's not really about the roleplaying so much as it is seeing your style of posting, what you come up with, etc. A PbP is a pretty serious undertaking, and the more invested someone is, the more likely he is to stick with it.
"Oh! I like shopping! What do you want to buy? I think we should check when the ship leaves, but I bet we'd have a bit of time to go shopping together! And maybe we can even hear some good stories in the marketplace! Usually merchants who come from a long way away have lots of good stories to tell, though I think I've heard most of the ones going around this year already. But maybe someone will have a new one!"
Ebon:
Why were the Varisian scholars patronized by the Shoanti? How does Ebon view other Shoanti now? Desmond:
Do you see him succeeding? What kind of struggle do you foresee? Zora:
I feel like I'm getting to better and better places. I concur. Quiahar: Thanks. Btw, in future I recommend adding an (Edited) to spoilers that you edit after the original posting, since people may otherwise not re-read them.
Apologies, Ebon, I seem to have missed you! I'll have a look and get back to you in the next few hours.
Quiahar:
I'll echo Cyniq's observations with regard to the Aasimar, and recommend that you read through the racial description again. Aasimar are throwbacks -- you could have two completely human parents and still be born an Aasimar, or have one Celestial parent and one human parent. It seems to me like what you're trying to accomplish fluff-wise is best done with elves, but that may not work for whatever it is you're trying to do mechanically. Garret:
You... really didn't answer my questions at all. Olwyn:
She doesn't have to know everything you know... just keep that in mind.
Thanks for your responses. Desmond:
Much improved! Why did he leave the village, though? Why not go back to his parents? Why go to Magnimar? Zora: I tend to agree with Cyniq; if you leave too much mystery, it seems like you're just not wanting to put the work in to craft a good backstory. Keep in mind that not everything you know has to be something Zora knows... I'd recommend adding a bit more substance in there, but I do think it's improved.
Zirt smiles happily at the dwarf, and listens to the assistant's confessions with a thoughtful expression. As they walk back along the road, she ventures, "Whatever shall we do with all of these things? Jaraim, would the Pathfinder Society want his things? Perhaps he has family we should send his things to?"
Zirt helps load any relevant items into the cart, hoping someone else will volunteer to tow it. At the offer of drinks, she smiles. "Oh, I would so like a nice cold mug of fineberry juice! Do they have fineberries this far south? I think it's the right time of year for them..."
Her little brow furrows. "but it might not be. What sorts of juices do they have here, Mr. Jaraim?"
ShadowyFox: Thanks!
Viluki:
Possibly. I can't count the times I've seen similar concepts to the two you've presented; in my experience they've been pedestrian, simplistic and one-dimensional characters, completely uninteresting and not much fun to travel with. ShadowyFox:
Are family lines important to his tribe, then? What significance does losing him have? Do they think they'll see him again?
What advice did the shaman give him, if any? What items was he permitted to take? Anything of particular value to him? Maraiah: Thanks!
Zirt's little hand jumps to her mouth to stifle a giggle. "Oh! I suppose I do have to give him my address! Mr. Jaraim, you may write me at my uncle's... here, I'll write it down for you!" She produces a quill and paper and scribbles down an address for the dwarf, handing it to him carefully afterward. At the paladin's final statements, she sighs and wrings her hands. "Oh thank you, Mr. Dovak. I do hope so... I do so hope that's the case."
Tabansi: Intriguing. There are a few bits that are grammatically unclear...
"Heartbroken was the least of his family's thoughts." <-- The least? So they weren't heartbroken? What thoughts/feelings were they experiencing? "Taken under gear from his home" <-- What do you mean by this? How does Tabansi feel about this quest? Does he trust the shaman? Does he have any ideas about what the spirit wants from him? What would motivate him to journey/adventure with the rest of the party?
The little gnome gulps and nods at the dwarf, suddenly sad as she realizes that this is the end of their time in the same group. "Will you write, Mr. Jaraim? Oh, do say you will. I did mean it when I said I'd like to come with you to visit your people, someday, and I would so like to hear about all your adventures with the Pathfinder Society while I'm sitting and trying to read boring things my uncle assigns me. You will write, won't you??"
Zirt squeaks in fright and looks over at Dovak for guidance.
Jubal:
Thanks for the quick reply. Viluki: Why would anyone want to adventure with him? Why would anyone trust him? I personally have 0 interest in having this character in our game.
Zirt nods slightly and turns to Dovak and the dwarf. "I... I guess we ought to go back to town and see how soon we can get passage on a ship back to Magnimar?"
Viluki:
Just remember though I am not a hero type antiheros are funner in my mind. Antiheroes are about as boring as you can get... and again, while I'm not the DM, I really don't see an antihero working with the rest of our group. Maraiah:
Thanks for the quick reply. What's Maraiah's relationship with her father like? What happened to her mother? Zalika:
Typographical errors aren't always going to be caught by spell-check. Thanks for the response. Zora:
I like the new story, though there's quite a bit of uncertainty. Are these things that you've thought through? Losing one's tongue would be a pretty memorable experience... has she found any leads at all as to what happened to her family? What's her personal theory? What would motivate her to go on a quest that's not necessarily related to her family? I believe I'm all caught up now!
Jubal:
61 years is a long time; what did Jubal experience during that time? Did he just live the "daily grind"? How does he deal with the Bleaching? Garret:
Your profile's rather hard to read... I recommend formatting it closer to mine or others'.
How did Garret become interested in collecting information? Is he drawn to one type of information over others? I tend to agree with your implication that his coming to Magnimar is a stretch; why Magnimar? It's quite a distance... what caused him to make the journey? Quiahar:
Your profile is pretty hard to read... I recommend adding some spoilers to partition it out and make it easier to navigate.
What's the significance of Quiahar's souvenir-collecting? That's a lot of adventuring for a level 1 to have done... why is he still only level 1? What significance does his dancing hold? What benefit did you choose to receive from Adopted? Grotha:
How did Grotha become a wizard? Why did he choose to specialize in illusion? What does this mean: "He studies growing up with stage magic"? What would motivate Grotha to leave Magnimar and his illusionist occupation to go haring off on a quest into the unknown? Olwyn:
What was the agreement with the fey? What claim do they have to Olwyn? What kind of "greatness" has been "thrust upon her"? If she's traveling northward, what's she doing in Magnimar? How do you see her low Wisdom playing out in-game? Desmond:
Paragraph breaks are your friend.
Desmond is quite intelligent, and of average wisdom; what's the reason for his bumbling foolishness and denial? Does he really believe that his failures aren't his fault? What happened to the previous herbalist? How did Desmond "come into his power"? Fredrico:
Your profile's a bit hard to read... might want to look around at some other aliases for a few ways of cleaning it up. Also, spell-check is your friend.
How did Fredrico come to the attention of Cearnis? How did his parents feel about the association? Are his parents still alive and around? How old is he now? How does he imagine caravan life to be different from his current life? I think that's everyone. Let me know if I missed someone... replies to the replies will be coming in a bit.
Sigh, I had a post all typed up with comments for the rest of the applicants, and lost it. Expect one tomorrow, as well as replies to the replies.
Would someone mind putting together a list of complete submissions? Thanks. Keep in mind during my comments that I'm not the DM. However, I'd like to strongly encourage everyone to pay attention to your grammar, punctuation, and overall "readability". Play-by-post is a text medium. If your posts/profile aren't clearly formatted and easily readable, it reflects rather strongly on you. Maraiah:
I like your backstory, though it sounds more applicable to someone level 2 or 3 than someone just setting out on adventures. The profile is a bit hard to navigate; I recommend formatting it with spoilers (see Zirt's or some of my other aliases for examples) for better readability.
Why does Maraiah care about innocents? Our existing group has had a bit of a negative run-in with the Pathfinder Society; how do you see that playing out? Viluki:
I'd just add that to me, your submission isn't "interesting" at all. It's boring. It's cliché. It's an evil murder hobo pretending not to be so that you can get into a game. I encourage you to expand your horizons and try formulating a truly interesting character. Zora:
Your backstory is a bit hard to read; I recommend paragraph breaks! It's also hard to follow.
Zora's of average intelligence and wisdom; growing up in the poorer districts of Magnimar, how did she ever survive that long by trusting anyone and everyone? Is she still so trusting? Why did she hide her gifts, and why did the trauma "unlock" them? Ebon Kai:
Paragraph breaks are your friend. Spaces, too (in your profile's bottom section). :)
How did Ebon's rage figure into his backstory? Why did the elders refuse to act? Why didn't he "leave" when they ordered it, and go looking for the caravan? Why would he be motivated to go on quests/adventures unrelated to the killer, working with a group of people he doesn't know? Zalika:
Nice backstory, despite a few typos. What motivates Zalika, though? What holds her back from bounty-hunting? What hopes does she hold for the future? How does she view the orphans of Magnimar? More in a bit. I'm working my way up the thread.
Zirt accepts the bead solemnly, sniffing a few more times and wiping her nose. Finally she looks up and nods at the dwarf, then follows Dovak outside to help him dig. When the job is finished and the body placed within, she recites: "A man has died, a story done; a fish has gone away,
Perhaps a mother's love he lacked, a father's guiding hand,
"D'Aponte received his due, for actions done and said,
She looks over at the paladin and dwarf uncertainly, a plea for acceptance in her eyes. Oh, I do hope that was alright...
"Eep! I certainly don't want to scale him!" Zirt looks like she might be sick, but as Dovak continues her expression calms a bit. "I think... I think you're right. We should bury him. I... I'll come with you? I've never... I had a pet squirrel once, that died, but... that's not a person... I'll... I'll help you dig and try to compose something while we're doing that?"
The little gnome looks up from the dwarf's shoulder with big, tear-stained eyes, and sniffs sadly. "I... *sniff* I don't know what my mother would say about this. She might... she might agree with you, Mr. Dovak... I think... *sniff* I think she'd say the same thing she always does when she makes me scale fish or chop weebleroot. 'My little Zirt,' she'd say, in her most loving and caring voice, *sniff* 'if you don't want to scale the fish, you shouldn't have taken it out of the ocean.'" Zirt frowns slightly, rubs her eyes, and sniffs again. "I think... I think that somehow applies here?"
I'd like to continue, as well.
Zirt looks in horror at the dead man, her eyes wide and full of confusion and worry. She tries to speak, but only manages a small scared sound. When the dwarf puts his hand on her shoulder, she jumps in surprise and turns around to face him. At his words, she suddenly buries her little head in his big shoulder and begins to cry.
Zirt comes forward to help stabilize d'Aponte.
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