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My fave is Aberzombie's Union Thugee, who, sadly, hasn't seen much use since the invention of "Hide thread." The Nike in India will be slaughtered. Then we will overrun the Walmartians and force their Super Centers to bow to Kali. And then the Fedex will fall and finally Capitalism will be cast down and forgotten. You don't believe me? You will. You will become a true believer. Kali Ma protects us! We are her children! We pledge our devotion to her with an offering of flesh... and blood! Bali Mangthi Kali Ma. Shakthi Degi Kali Ma. Kali ma... Kali ma... Kali ma, shakthi deh!
G~~~*#n UPS! Gimme my f$@*ing package you bastards!Apparently that anti-capitalist goblin still continues to thwart your plans. It may be time to turn him to the undead side. Hey! That's my job! Kali ma!
Oh, great Kali, please grant me controlling interest in a numbers racket and, say, 20% of the prostitution and weed money from the greater Lowell area. In return, I shall loot a Foot Locker or firebomb a Fedex/Kinko's, whichever you prefer. Hit the Foot Locker. Leave the FedEx alone - Kali gets regular shipments of hickory beef jerky through them.
Every time I get sucked into these conversations I end up feeling angry and that's not me. But it could be. Kali loves it when people get angry. We may have a place for you with the faithful. Especially if you can pull off the whole passive/aggressive routine. We like to lull our targets into a false sense of security with some fine dining before ripping their hearts out and lowering them into lava.
I really like this alias. Who is to say you do not? Believe in Kali, and you're enemies shall fall before her blessed power! Kali Ma!
The Nike in India will be slaughtered. Then we will overrun the Walmartians and force their Super Centers to bow to Kali. And then the Fedex will fall and finally Capitalism will be cast down and forgotten. You don't believe me? You will. You will become a true believer. Kali Ma protects us! We are her children! We pledge our devotion to her with an offering of flesh... and blood!
Sure, why not? We'll even dig up the Meadowlands and reanimate Jimmy Hoffa to be your leader once more. Perhaps give him an undead worg to ride and spiked platemail to hold all the rotted bits together.Can we at least be in the Teamsters? Soon we will have all the five Sankara stones, and Jimmy will not need to be dug up. He'll dig himself up, and the Thugee will be all powerful! |
