Theconiel's page

"It’s exhausting, having to live among people trapped in time."

- Sam Kriss

That quote would have been perfect for Groundhog Day.

I understand that colloquial definitions are not literal definitions, but every time I hear someone use the phrase "completely decimated," I die a little inside.

Do you die 10% inside?

I watch a lot of sports. In the past year, the new grating sportscaster meme is calling something good in a NON-BASEBALL sport a 'home run'.

No. He did not hit a home run. He threw a football well and the other guy caught it well. No, she did not hit a home run. She vaulted the HELL out of that vault and stuck the landing. And if a tennis player hits a home run, they're definitely doing it wrong.

Seriously, people. Are you so bereft of metaphors?!

I'm literally besides myself with rage. That's the penultimate failure.

How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal were playing hide-and-seek. It was Einstein's turn to count, so he leaned against a tree, closed his eyes, and began counting. Pascal ran into the woods, but Newton piked up a stick and drew a square, one meter on a side, in the dirt.

Einstein finished counting, turned around, and saw Newton. "Aha! Newton, I found you," he called.

"No, you didn't," Newton answered, "You found one Newton per square meter. You found Pascal."

I have never even attempted a will save vs. pedantry, so having failed one puts you a step ahead of me.

Not to mention 'Do Not Go Gentle Into That Gouda Night'!

Don't ever get between me and a hunk of gouda cheese!

RAWR!

"Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."

― G.K. Chesterton

Limericks on the subject of cheese may be found HERE.

Pain is dependable. Pain is reliable. If everyone else abandons you, pain will still be there for you; pain will never abandon you. You can trust pain.

Creedence Clearwater Revival, commonly abbreviated as CCR or simply Creedence, was an American rock band formed in El Cerrito, California, in 1959. The band consisted of the lead vocalist, lead guitarist, and primary songwriter John Fogerty; his brother, the rhythm guitarist Tom Fogerty; the bassist Stu Cook; and the drummer Doug Clifford. These members had played together since 1959, first as the Blue Velvets and later as the Golliwogs, before settling on Creedence Clearwater Revival in 1967. The band's most prolific and successful period, between 1969 and 1971, produced 14 consecutive top-10 singles (many of which were double A-sides) and five consecutive top-10 albums in the United States, two of which—Green River (1969) and Cosmo's Factory (1970)—topped the Billboard 200 chart. The band performed at the 1969 Woodstock festival in upstate New York and was the first major act signed to appear there.

CCR disbanded acrimoniously in late 1972 after four years of chart-topping success. Tom had quit the band the previous year and John was at odds with the remaining members over matters of business and artistic control, all of which resulted in lawsuits among the former bandmates. John's disagreements with Fantasy Records owner Saul Zaentz led to more court cases and John refused to perform with the two other surviving members of the band—Tom had died in 1990—at Creedence's 1993 induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Though the band has never publicly reunited, John continues to perform CCR songs as part of his solo act, while Cook and Clifford performed as Creedence Clearwater Revisited from 1995 to 2020.

CCR's music remains popular and is a staple of U.S. classic rock radio airplay. The compilation album Chronicle: The 20 Greatest Hits, originally released in 1976, is still on the Billboard 200 and reached the 600-week mark in August 2022. It has been certified 12-times platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America for at least 12 million copies sold in the U.S.

CCR holds the record for the most #2 singles (5) without a #1 single.

WEVT-LP is a low-power (100 W) broadcaster located in Enosburg, Vermont. The station broadcasts at a frequency of 98.1 MHz on the FM band. It is also available at http://wevt.com. Its format is oldies during the day, modern rock 'n' roll at night, and big band on Sunday morning. Like other low-power radio stations, WEVT is commercial-free.

Detective Chimp (Bobo T. Chimpanzee) is a superhero appearing in American comic books published by DC Comics. A common chimpanzee who wears a deerstalker cap (à la fictional sleuth Sherlock Holmes), Detective Chimp has superhuman-level intelligence and solves crimes, often with the help of the Bureau of Amplified Animals, a group of intelligent animals that also includes Rex the Wonder Dog. He originally appeared in the final years of the Golden Age of Comic Books, continuing into the early years of the Silver Age.

After his initial appearance in Adventures of Rex the Wonder Dog he continued to appear in that title as a backup feature until 1959, at which point he faded into obscurity. Several decades after his last appearance, Detective Chimp appeared in several cameos, namely in a 1981 story, "Whatever Happened to Rex the Wonder Dog?" (DC Comics Presents #35) and later in a brief cameo with Sam Simeon in Gorilla City during 1985's Crisis on Infinite Earths. Following these appearances, Bobo started appearing in DC titles with some regularity, appearing in issues of Green Lantern, The Flash, and other titles. This eventually led to prominent roles in the 2005 Day of Vengeance miniseries and subsequently as a regular in its spin-off series Shadowpact. The character has gone on to guest-star in other DC Comics titles, and has been a key member of the second incarnation of the Justice League Dark since its 2018 reboot.

Detective Chimp has made limited appearances in media outside comics, with Kevin Michael Richardson and Fred Tatasciore voicing him in Batman: The Brave and the Bold and Teen Titans Go! respectively.

Can we get a crossover in which Detective Chimp takes on Mojo Jojo?

People often say they hope to have a friend like Sam Gamgee. Let us all try to be a friend like Sam Gamgee.

I like bread. I like the taste and texture of bread. Naan, pita, sourdough bread, French bread, Italian bread, rye bread, pumpernickel, I like them all. I even like ordinary white bread sometimes.

If you want to mess with someone who believes in the "chemtrails" conspiracy theory, you can point out that one of the major components of airplane exhaust is dihydrogen monoxide.

Mibs! Mibs!

OK. I feel like I've done very well avoiding politics or politics-adjacent discussions since I came back. But this is so phenomenally, fundamentally, hilariously stupid that I simply can't let it go.

** spoiler omitted **

If there is a cartoon about this, it probably looks like a Rube Goldberg.

On 20 January 1982, Ozzy Osbourne bit the head off a bat that he thought was rubber while performing at the Veterans Memorial Auditorium in Des Moines, Iowa. According to a 2004 Rolling Stone article, the bat was alive at the time; however, 17-year-old Mark Neal, who threw it onto the stage, said it was brought to the show dead. According to Osbourne in the booklet to the 2002 edition of Diary of a Madman, the bat was not only alive but managed to bite him, resulting in Osbourne being vaccinated against rabies. On 20 January 2019, Osbourne commemorated the 37th anniversary of the bat incident by offering an "Ozzy Plush Bat" toy "with detachable head" for sale on his personal web-store. The site claimed the first batch of toys sold out within hours.

Ozzy's later comment about the incident was a classic British understatement.

"It weren't clever."

My voicemail message is a limerick. People are generally amused by it, and are therefore more likely to leave a message. It has happened only once that the caller couldn't stop laughing long enough to leave a message.

If I had a starship, it would be my best friend.

If I had a hammer, there'd be no more folk singers. (Seen on a button)

That's 'pro-verb' not 'proverb'. Don't make me have to smash s#&$.

*smashes s&!#*

Great. Another Will save vs. pedantry failed. Every damn time...

Oops. Silly person missed the hyphen. (Hangs head in shame)

If a pronoun is a word that takes the place of a noun, why isn't a proverb a word that takes the place of a verb?

Because I am the sort of person I am, what started as a joke turned into a serious question. According to Merriam-Webster online, a proverb (with a long O) can in fact be a verb that takes the place of another verb. For example, in the sentence "Act as I do," the word do is a proverb.

If a pronoun is a word that takes the place of a noun, why isn't a proverb a word that takes the place of a verb?

Goldbach's conjecture, that every even number ≥ 4 is the sum of two prime numbers, is one of the most famous unsolved problems in mathematics. To date, all even numbers up to 4,000,000,000,000,000,000 (4*10^18) have been tested, and no counterexample has been found, but the conjecture remains unproven.

It has been proven that every odd number ≥ 7 is the sum of three prime numbers, which means that every even number ≥ 10 is the sum of four prime numbers (and 8 = 2+2+2+2).

My dog had a good day yesterday. My son gave her dinner while I was out, then he went to work. When I got home, I fed her dinner again. Happy satiated dog.

1729 is the smallest integer that can be written two ways as a sum of two cubes.

1^3 + 12^3 = 1 + 1728 = 1729
9^3 + 10^2 = 729 + 1000 = 1729

Primary Adjunct of paizomatix 0 wrote:

we shall assimilate the poodle

before or after we mince him?

The poodle bites, the poodle chews it...

Godot arrives just in time to rescue Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

A ship carrying a cargo of red paint collided with a ship carrying a cargo of purple paint. Both crews were marooned.

Multiple sclerosis sucks.

I know it's not the worst disease out there, and I know how lucky I am to have good medications and adaptive gear. But once in a while I need to vent.

In pipeline transportation, pigging is the practice of using pipeline inspection gauges or gadgets, devices generally referred to as pigs or scrapers, to perform various maintenance operations. This is done without stopping the flow of the product in the pipeline.

These operations include but are not limited to cleaning and inspecting the pipeline. This is accomplished by inserting the pig into a "pig launcher" (or "launching station")—an oversized section in the pipeline, reducing to the normal diameter. The launching station is then closed and the pressure-driven flow of the product in the pipeline is used to push the pig along the pipe until it reaches the receiving trap—the "pig catcher" (or "receiving station").

The phrase "pig launcher" conjures up some interesting images.

Nomad is the name of several fictional characters appearing in American comic books published by Marvel Comics. The Nomad name and costume were created by writer Steve Englehart and artist Sal Buscema as an alternate identity for the original Captain America, Steve Rogers, in Captain America #180 (December 1974).

The identity was revived by writer J. M. DeMatteis for a minor character named Edward Ferbel in Captain America #261–263 (September–November 1981). The same writer later gave the title to its best known claimant Jack Monroe in Captain America #282 (June 1983). Other claimants of the code name are Rikki Barnes and Steve Rogers's adopted son Ian Rogers.

STERILIZE! STERILIZE!

Was there a boogeyman or boogeymen inside the house?

ICP

Theconiel wrote:

A mathematics puzzle:

f(2) = 3
f(3) = 7
f(5) = 23
f(7) = 47
f(?) = ??
f(?) = ??
f(?) = ??

What comes next? If you post an answer, please put it behind a spoiler.

** spoiler omitted **

So, given the parameters and my expectations of such mathematical "games", I'd expect either solution (1) or a visual puzzle I'm missing.

A mathematics puzzle:

f(2) = 3
f(3) = 7
f(5) = 23
f(7) = 47
f(?) = ??
f(?) = ??
f(?) = ??

What comes next? If you post an answer, please put it behind a spoiler.

"There's only two positions in snowboarding. One is looking cool. The second is dead.

- Suzy Eddie Izzard

quibblemuch wrote:

Precocious high school hacker David Lightman breaks into WOPR in order to use the nascent artificial intelligence to write a Broadway play that is guaranteed to be a failure, knowing that with creative accounting (ie., bilking his investors) he can make more money with a massive flop than he could with a hit.

The play, a musical about a USCG admiral who is reputed to have coined the term "computer bug", will be titled Springtime for Hopper.

I goofed. Admiral Grace Hopper served in the U.S. Naval Reserve, not the U.S. Coast Guard. I apologize for the error.

A new musical about a surrealist painter will be opening soon. It's called Hello, Dalí!

Someone at YouTube must have a really weird sense of humor. The movie One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is listed as a comedy.

A Salisbury steak frozen dinner's directions included the step "Rotate the patty 180 degrees clockwise." They don't tell me what to do, dammit! I rotated it 180 degrees counterclockwise! Ha! So there!

Precocious high school hacker David Lightman breaks into WOPR in order to use the nascent artificial intelligence to write a Broadway play that is guaranteed to be a failure, knowing that with creative accounting (ie., bilking his investors) he can make more money with a massive flop than he could with a hit.

The play, a musical about a USCG admiral who is reputed to have coined the term "computer bug", will be titled Springtime for Hopper.

"I wasn't sure what to wear tonight. My mother suggested I could wear my grandfather's nice tuxedo. So I got a shovel..."

"I used to think the human brain was the most amazing thing in the world. Then I thought, 'Wait a minute. Look what's telling me that.' "

- Emo Philips

"Fine animal gorilla."
- Koko

It was John Galt who loaded people onto spacecraft that looked exactly like DC-10s and sent them to the Teegeeack volcanos.

Who is John Galt?

FRIEND: At my check-up today, they drew 12 vials of blood!

ME: Jebus! Who's your GP, Dr. Acula?

Some guy named Kollen, or something like that...

"I don't really like hot dogs," he said frankly.

Darth Voldemort, disguised as Count Olaf, shot J.R. Ewing.

Would "J.R.R. Ewing" have been funnier?

Darth Voldemort, disguised as Count Olaf, shot J.R. Ewing.

R. Daneel Olivaw throws the Wicked Witch of the West into the Crack of Doom.

Well, doubtless the party would prefer attacking AC 11 rather than AC 15, if it comes to a fight.