I wasn't paying attention when I bought Caesar dressing and ended up getting Kaiser dressing. Stuff got all over my French fries and Belgian waffles!
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Sad news from the Arkham Daily Gazette. It seems a local scholar of the occult developed a mania for the mysterious city of Carcosa and it's mysterious King in Yellow. He traveled through a portal to the shores of Lake Hali, where he spent months drawing Yellow Sign after Yellow Sign in various orthographic permutations, all to attract He Who Must Not Be Named. Unfortunately, so much time exposed to the radiation of the Black Sun over Lake Hali ended up destroying the poor man's retinas. After an expedition retrieved him, he was committed to a local home for the visually impaired. The head doctor shook his head and said: "The poor fool! Everybody knows, too much Hastur baiting will make you go blind."
Sad news ... spent months drawing ... in various orthographic permutations ... The head doctor ... said: "The poor fool! Everybody knows, too much Hastur baiting will make you go blind."
He should have used powdered Eyes-been-gauzied and not the #2 yellow sign crayolas.
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Heisenberg, Dirac, and Feynman walk into a bar. The bartender says, 'What’ll it be?'
Heisenberg says, 'I’m uncertain.'
Dirac says, 'I only drink fermions, bosons have no exclusion.'
Feynman orders tequila and immediately diagrams the salt trajectory.
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Einstein, Newton, and Pascal were playing hide-and-seek. It was Einstein's turn to count, so he leaned against a tree, closed his eyes, and began counting. Pascal ran into the woods, but Newton piked up a stick and drew a square, one meter on a side, in the dirt.
Einstein finished counting, turned around, and saw Newton. "Aha! Newton, I found you," he called.
"No, you didn't," Newton answered, "You found one Newton per square meter. You found Pascal."