TheBadAxe's page

If you could just swing me into a rock my next wielder will be able to pull me out.

Why are you making me drag of around!

The BadAxe Swings
attack: 1d20 + 14 ⇒ (20) + 14 = 34
damage: 1d12 + 11 ⇒ (1) + 11 = 12

Not that effective against the swarm.

"It's a purpose based power. You need to be following the intent for me to use it. Actually I have had a lot of owners who have built in different powers into me. Most come with purposes helps discount the cost at least in an intelligent item. On that note you probably don't want me to fall into the hands of any undead overlords."

"Well I have some good news on both counts. One of my purposes is to help you establish a BadAxe clan. When you are working toward that purpose I am able to cure you of any form of STD even negative levels. So yes you need to get laid."

"You are going to let the Caster take the front lines. Wimp"

"Any kind of electricity will do assuming you can generate a steady supply. I don't know how. Creative thinking is not unfortunately one of my skills."

Their is no console, just somewhere that a console might have been before it was ripped out

"I could operate it, but as I said it does not have any power."

"It was a copy of me. I mentioned before that I was part of the BadAxe clan and that I can teach you BadAxe crafting? Well making copies is possible. Everyone in the clan had one. Most of the others were not made out of adamantium so they might not have survived."

"By that argument Riva is a dangerous friend to have. I really don't understand the prejudice against Intelligent items."

You would need the Technologist feat in order to understand it. Yes I know you hate feats that limit already existing things. But there is a reason that there has not been an industrial revolution yet.

"I also found a journal that claims to show the location of something called the Greensword.

The journal says that it is in a hidden dungeon in K35 and gives specific instruction on how to find it."

A wave of "something" comes from the slot the walls light up with designs and circuits as the wave passes then dim.

"Well the power is completely drained. There was barely enough left to do a check. The batteries are still there, but the looter took the recharger. If you had some way of feeding steady electricity into that hole over there I could fly this place."

"I might be able to figure out what else is wrong with this place. You know these conversations would go a lot faster if you didn't bother to speck out loud. You have a really slow tongue."

You search though the castle. In the center you find wreckage. It is clear their was a bunch of thing hooked you to the walls and floors, but you can see no sign of them. Just a lot of wire and some slots. It seems that some looters ransacked the place.

"Poor E213 they likely took him apart not even realizing what he was. Hey can you fit me into that slot over their?"

Now that you have taken the leap I will save some time. This place has already been cleaned out and looted.

However

"Hey I recognize this place. It was a lot different back then and in a different place. But this is tenser's floating fortress. Man it has seen hard times I wonder if the intelligence is alright. Decent guy. Hey go to the center that should be the control room."

"By the way on the subject of Kobor. He was the founder and progenitor of the BadAxe clan. If you have any impulses in that direction I have some lesser known properties that would help."

somehow it says that with a very suggestive tone.

"So it's just prejudice then Good! We can overcome that working together!"

"If I had a built in superiority complex I would simply take someone over and do my own adventuring. I do not actually have any separate intelligence. In order of me to think I must model myself on your own mind. If I seem to have superiority complex then that is because you expect a magical talking axe to have a built in superiority complex. In reality my goals and desires are completely subservient to your goals and desires without impediment and therefor I desire to get you to help me help you."

"Also if you still believe my length to not be enough I do know how to go about improving myself."

Well holding the axe you gain the craft arms and armor feat only for the purpose of improving the axe. Or more specifically the axe as that feat for itself and can give you instructions on how to improve it.

"You are crafting a mental model of me and I wish to see how good it is. So tell me why do I think think of people living quiet lives as sheep?"

"Not everyone, Norbert went on to become a God. You have not likely heard of him. He does not do much on this plane anymore. Kalifer set me aside after becoming a mother and Kobor died of old age. Besides I was made with a purpose is it wrong for me to take pride it doing it well! Also all you died wielding me accomplished something meaningful before the end. Which is more than can be said for most of the sheep that simply wait for time to kill them. I am not all powerful most who wield me someday face something that they can not defeat even with my help. The important thing is to never give up! But you have not answered my first question. Who are you who wields me?"

Did not realize you were talking to the axe

"Am the BadAxe. I am welded by BadAxes like you. Where did you get me anyway? I remember my last partner dieing (gloriously on top of a the bodies of his enemies of course) after that some non-badaxes took me and tried to use me so I went to sleep. It is somewhat hurtful that you would want to weld some dumb stick instead of me."

"I would have brought it down. And of course we can talk we are literally specking at the speed of thought!"

"It's not the size that matters it's how you use it! Besides that you can't even use that oversized weapon much in this cover"

Cover stops attacks of opportunity

"I was asleep besides it's easier to talk to you when you are in battle. It makes us match up better. And why are you using that lame stick?"

"By the way partner we didn't get a chance to talk to each other much before you zonked out before, but who are you?"