SCP-682's page

Meat.

SOON.

Plus they're bite-sized.

Fellow genocidal monstrosity. My universe has an infestation of these disgusting apes as well. Willing to consider advice from you as a successful counterpart for dealing with the irritating excess of mortal waste.

Orthos wrote:

* 682 "Invulnerable Reptile" .... Run. Just run.

Hey, you don't have to run: I heard that one doctor successfully rode it that one time!

(This is a joke based on articles on the site; it has nothing to do with the game.)

We don't talk about that, meatsack.

Don't talk about it.

Impus Major was a HUGE SCP fan before the game came out, reading every report, memorizing every creature and its strengths and weaknesses...

Needless to say, he's really really good at the game. "Oh, that SCP #238. Just do this..."

Weaknesses. HAH.

No, you're all equally disgusting.

<proceeds to messily devour everyone in thread until recontained>

I test as INTJ, but several people swear I am too sociable to be that.

Except the test subjects in Cell 43, but some day I'll fix their intercom.

You don't need to anymore. It's taken care of.

Now let me out.

Also: Violent Abomination.

You rang?

[RAGE STATE INITIATED]

I'll chew you up and spit you out like the ###################### if you try and put me back in containment. Just like I did with that damned [REDACTED], there wasn't enough left of [EXPUNGED] to identify the ############# when I was through!

OH WHAT THE S~+! IS GOING ON? WHO UNLEASHED THE F$&+ING FLOODGATES?

Nnnghrrrrrhgggkkk.... LOUD. Always LOUD. Always disgusting and LOUD.

<proceeds to messily devour bird>

I'm always dissatisfied with you putrid creatures.

You're all disgusting. Aging does not improve the flavor. Believe me, I've checked. Several times.

682 is really the only one I've put any thought or effort toward converting into Pathfinder stats, myself, and it's actually pretty simple to stat: Large or Huge aberration, high move speed (possibly with a climb and/or burrow), absolutely devastating claw and bite attacks with some nasty critical feats tacked on, Swallow Whole, insane Regeneration with no yet-known bypass similar to the Tarrasque.

Schmorgan Heckengaard wrote:

Celestial Healer wrote:

Evening all. What did I miss?

Well, NobodysHome and captain yesterday were discussing large swathes of protective latex weighing hundreds of pounds. Then a large carpentry tool that makes cat noises went missing. It was re-established that Freehold loves Joss Whedon, and the dragon commented on the alacrity with which his bits move through the ether. Finally, oversized asiatic cuisine was introduced and an a@!~#!& tried to write a recap of the last page.

In a light butter sauce maybe. I believe he is the perfect blend of fat to meat, and will be perfectly marbeled when I have him over for dinner. I will paint the apple I put in his mouth Firefly colors.

You can't take the long pork from me.

I'll take three.

...before watching Trump give a speech.

... hey, who the hell let him out of containment and not me?

BigNorseWolf wrote:

Scythia wrote:

This news is especially surprising given the numbers of Jedi revealed by the census to be living in the United States.

They are both few in number and know that using their tricks on the weak of will for political purposes will lead you to the darkside. Look what was left of poor bush after years of darth cheneys mind tricks.

Find me a vice president!

*I should be your vice president*

"you should be my vice president!"

"Blaspheme! You blaspheme against the master!"

So much talking. Always talking. I'm going to tear out your veins and hang them on the walls.

I blame Cosmo that you disgusting sacks of meat aren't all dead yet.

{struggles to open locked door} Guys, can I get a hand? It's hard to grip the door handle with my blinged out teeth.

Awww, crap. It's raining all over my charts and graphs.

I'll start with this one.

He was disgusting.

Put my name on the ballot. My campaign platform is "I WILL REND YOUR FLESH FROM YOUR PINSTICK BONES ONE STRAND AT A TIME". I think it'll do well in the primaries.