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The tale of the undefeatable champion
The Imp Ruas Wri was proud of his clever schemes.
Outside the Castle was a large sign:
Adventurers - Beat my champion in a fight and you can gain gold and silver.
Rules:
1) You pay an entrance fee. If you win - the same amount will be paid back double to you. If you lose - your fee is forfeit.
2) You have up to 10 minutes time
3) Any weapon or magic allowed
4) You can spend as much time as you want to prepare - but you only can try once
A group of adventurers came along. Looking for cheap money they decided to give it a try.
Amiri was first. She paid 1000 gold, no preperations needed for her she thought. Which champion was there whom she couldn't fight?
She entered the castle. What she saw looked pitiful. An old peasant was sitting on a chair in a glass house. An imp sat on another chair close by.
Poor guy - Amisi thought as she charged. She deliberately decided to deal non-lethal damage - that poor peasant could be beheaded with a single swipe.
Alas - when she tried - some red glowing runes showed up in an evil looking language. And no matter how hard she tried to strike - she just couldn't target the poor peasant.
She went out when her 10 minutes where over. I lost - powerful magics protect the champion. I couldn't land a single blow she told her comrades.
Ezren thought - Magic - that is easy. He cast Stoneskin, Mirror Image, Protection from Fire and Protection from Evil before paying 2000 gold and walking in.
Seeing the runes he cast Dispel Magic - but no matter how often he cast it - it seemed never to be strong enough. He used Lightning Bolt, Magic Missile and in the end even the strongest Fireball spell he had prepared.
All he achieved was some minor burn marks on the chair - spelling out - "RavingDork was here". Actually, he was sure that writing wasn't because of his fireball - but must have appeared when his Area Dispel Magic removed a minor illusion hiding the blemish in the wood.
Defeated - Ezren went out. True Evil there is at work he told his comrades? I have never seen such a weak champion – but evil protects him from all my magics.
Upon hearing this - Kyra went in. She paid her 4000 gold to win back what her comrades had lost and went in.
Seeing the Abyssal Runes she tried to exorcise them - using her legendary knowledge of Religion. She tried to channel positive energy, Smite Evil, nothing seemed to work. Defeated she went out.
It is impossible - you just can't get to the champion. He is locked behind impenetrable protections.
Hearing this Merisel thought that couldn't be a problem. Taking her best Thieves Tools and paying 8000 gold - she went in.
Using her unparalleled perception she looked for secret openings, a lock to open - something to use her legendary Thievery Skills. But there just was nothing - 4 glass walls and a roof on top. The whole contraption was so pathetically small - there wasn't even space for someone else in there.
Defeated - the adventurer group left - having been tricked out of a large sum of money.
Half an hour later - Rincewind - the worst Wizard ever - happened to come to the same place. Ruas Wri was in a good mood. Seeing that the poor Wizard hardly could afford anything he offered to change the rules. All his money and 1 year of servitude against the money of the adventuring group from earlier.
Tempted - Rincewind paid his 2 silver pieces and 5 copper and entered. But seeing the challenge he knew immediately - that was beyond his capability.
But he didn't want to give up fully without a fight. So he cast his most powerful spell he had remembered that day - illusionary object - and turned the tiny glass house into an outhouse - including a pretend door and a heart.
He was just about to leave and give in to his defeat when a miracle happened. The poor, unarmoured and weapon less peasant inside the glass house had spent all the three silver pieces given by Ruas Wri to get drinks in the local pub.
Having been late in the morning he had rushed to the castle - not able to empty his bladder ahead of time. For hours now he had been inside - fighting. And the illusion of the outhouse was just too much. He gave up, he accepted defeat. He knew he would lose his soul - but he fingered the teleportation ring given to him and got out.
His bladder defeated by too much drink and an illusion.
Ruas Wri appeared next to Rincewind. I don’t know how – but you have defeated my champion. Here is the reward. He handed over a large bag of gold – just as he heard crashing glass inside the courtyard.
The house keeper was making his round. I haven’t seen this outhouse before – but it seems in a bad state. There is a lose plank. He took out a hammer and a nail – only to hear a crashing sound of broken glass. The outhouse was still standing there – the plank still lose. Not knowing what had happened but instinctively sensing it was bad, he quickly disappeared.