Rhi Bran's page

Rhi Bran was born the eldest son and heir to a rather minor king. The king believed his son to be a lazy, ne'er-do-well who spent all his time failing to seduce the ladies (except for those who liked his 'bad boy' looks inherited from his Tiefling mother). Bran believed his father to be cruel, self-indulgent and constipated.

Bran was neither strong nor clever and demonstrated no great talent or aptitude for anything except sleeping. Indeed, Bran spent most of his trying to avoid getting sent out to collect taxes by sleeping, looking for girls who liked his 'bad boy' looks and sleeping. Occasionally one of the girls would mistake his sleepy silence for wisdom.

One day, Bran's father decided it was time to make his son a man or kill him trying. He sent a sizable gift to the only monastery on his lands with the condition that they train his son. His exact words, "Get him out of the house, and at least teach him weapons and social skills so that I'm not ashamed of my own heir!"

The Abbot came to visit the small castle to see Bran for himself before agreeing. Bran was duly dragged out of bed and brought to the archery range, for the Abbot had requested to see him shoot a single arrow. Wondering how he was going to make a fool of himself this time, Bran picked up the nearest bow (a longbow), toed the line and promptly fell asleep. Some little time passed, and Bran's father was well on his way to killing himself in a fit of apoplectic rage when the Abbot exclaimed in awe, "Look at that stance, Watch how he empties himself completely before even fitting an arrow to bow. And with those looks we can turn him into a rake you'll be proud of!"

The Abbot (nicknamed Tuck) was actually the titular head of a Silistrian order of nuns.

On the way to the monastery, Tuck explained the facts of life to Bran. "Look, we need money, and you need to get out of that place to gain a little sanity, but there's no reason we can't make this a win-win situation for both of us. We'll teach you a bit about weapons, including that bow you picked up, and how to survive on your own off the land. That will fulfill our contract with your father. In return for your help, we'll also teach you any three things you want."

Impressed by Tuck's wisdom and cunning, Bran readily agreed and immediately asked to be taught how to find pretty girls who would like his 'bad boy' looks (perception), how to be better in bed (acrobatics), and how to hide from angry fathers, brothers and ex-girlfriends (stealth).

Recognizing that the carrot would probably work better in this case than the stick, Tuck introduced Bran to his new tutor, 'French Maid' Marion. (Marion had acquired her nickname not for ethnicity, but for her monastic outfit.) Marion exclusively instructed Bran in all things social. While this didn't actually amount to much, they still spent quite a bit of (awake) time together. In fact, Bran didn't get much sleep at all his entire time at the monastery.

Amazingly, Bran noticed that the tricks of dexterity and focus that Marion taught him also translated into other areas, such as the bow, and fighting with the light weapons and clothing the nuns favored. He learned to strike quicker than a snake, run faster than the deer, and could track either through the worst conditions. His acrobatic prowess astounded all the nuns, and his 'bad boy' looks ensured that his silence was always mistaken for wisdom or deep thoughts.

One day, though, his time at the monastery came to an end, and Bran returned to the little castle to be presented to his father. Despite the fact that Bran had learned everything specified in the contract and had cured his narcolepsy besides, his father was not happy. Crueler, more self-indulgent and more constipated than ever, he saw that his heir had become a worthy nemesis, and outlawed Bran from his realm. Then he outlawed all monks for good measure.

However, Bran was now well-prepared to live off the land and more, was able to study the Way of the Bow under the tutelage of Tuck, and the Way of the Stick under 'French Maid' Marion. In time, his 'bad boy' looks drew other outlaws to him, all of whom clamored to be taught the secrets than Bran knew. Bran was so successful at teaching his men, that they became known as the Married Men.