Tome of Deadly Pranks
Aura strong evocation; CL 17th
Slot - ; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
This book looks exactly like a tome of understanding yet hides a powerful curse. Whenever the book is read, roll 1d10 on the following table to determine the result.
- 1 - Every time the reader speaks the word, "Help," in any language, she slips and falls prone.
- 2 - The next item the reader touches shrinks as per the shrink item spell, except that the duration is permanent and the reader cannot expand the item.
- 3 - The next member of the opposite sex the reader speaks to explodes, as if that person had just read explosive runes.
- 4 - The reader can only verbally communicate in chicken clucks. He can still understand any languages he knows.
- 5 - The reader’s weight doubles, causing him to take a -2 penalty to Strength and Dexterity.
- 6 - The reader, along with all her gear, is instantly transported to the nearest occupied bedroom.
- 7 - The reader is polymorphed into a sheep.
- 8 - Whenever the reader draws a weapon, that weapon shouts an embarrassing fact about that character's childhood.
- 9 - A army of goblins declares war on the reader. This army is always within 20 miles of the party, and consists of any combination of gobliniods that add up to the party’s ECL +2. The army tracks the party consistently and aggressively, yet non-magically.
- 10 - Roll twice and keep both results.
All effects are permanent unless removed with a successful remove curse spell. Although Tomes of Deadly Pranks are created by error, many more are created by insidious Arcane Tricksters.
Construction
Magic Items any book or tome.Items like this made me mad as a judge.
Why even enter with crap like this? This is not a serious item, its a joke. And not even a good one. Just pure lameness.
As a judge, you spend countless hours of your free time reading these entries and critiquing...
Sorry this is coming way late in the post stream, but thank you for your honest critique of my item; that's why I posted it here.
I did not mean to make you, or anyone else (seems a lot of folks really hated my item) angry. This is simply the kind of item I enjoy making. I admit, I did not read the advice before submitting, I just found no rule against this item in the official rules and thought it would be fun. I'm rather new to this community, but certainly a little more research on my part before submission would have helped.
That being said, while this item is obviously not right for Superstar, I still really like it, as do my players, so maybe some of this is just a difference in play style?
In response to another poster who asked if this was a joke item, yes and no. Yes, this item is meant to generate humor at the table (although I understand and respect that everyone here does not share my sense of it), but no, this item was not tossed off deliberately to make fun of this contest or debase anyone else involved in any way. The item may be a "joke," but the submission was serious, despite how others might view it.
Anyway, thanks to everyone who critiqued my item, I appreciate the time you took out of your lives to share your thoughts.