Paper Elytra's page

Audessa and Dolgrin seem as well as ever, but my goodness, some things have changed.

Sargeant Bengmar is now a Captain in our fleet. He has been travelling with Leitauk's brother Torauk. Leitauk seems eager to have a little family chat with her brother, so I hope they find some time for that. Nude Pid took on the role of Commodore while we were in the First World. He's done quite well, but seems eager to retire. We accepted Nude Pid's retirement, which makes me acting Commodore! How exciting!

I have long thought we should expand our modes of transportation, and take to the sky! My earlier inquiries on that front have indeed borne fruit. There are rumours of a flying ship near Kyonen. Apparently they target pirates; I wonder if the roles have been reversed yet...
We unfortunately missed the most recent Pirate Council meeting (by a mere six days!), but hopefully that won't affect our standing too much.
Sarge Captain Bengmar is getting a little big for his britches. He's lecturing us about some sort of raid we didn't do, as if he has the right to order us around now. Hmph. Might be time to trim his sail a bit. Although something rather strange is happening behind him...

...

It was the crazy Raven-man!! He pursued Oknarok all the way to the material plane. (That is some dedication to vengeance!) He tried to frame Malikor for selling us out, and called Bengmar an elf. As Oknarok trounced his vengeful enemy (with our moral support and back up), I pondered Bengmar's strange reaction to the Raven-man's insult. Leitauk must have been pondering as well, since we both turned our attention to Bengmar and were able to reveal the depths of blackest, filthiest, most foul treachery!!!

Bengmar is an Elf!!!
He no longer deserves such an honest Hobgoblin name. I will call it the Elf. His filthy identity is Nevtaliss Rasivrein. He is connected to the loathsome Royce Rue. (They conspired to create our encounter during our Year of Hell! Elves really are Evil and Conniving!!) The Elf also keeps talking about some Secret Society, WHICH I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT, AND NEITHER DOES MALIKOR. It was some sort of front to trick folk into doing Elvish nastiness for evil ends. I think there was something about Amphibious Polar Bears; which does sound interesting, but is really more Marqua's thing. I had no wish to pollute our thoughts any more, so I mentioned to Leitauk that the Elf was not useful anymore, and Leitauk took care of it.

I think a shopping trip might cheer us all up.

Leitauk has decided a family cruise is in order. She and Torauk will each Captain a ship and seek their fortunes further afield as part of our ever-expanding fleet.
May they gain glory and riches!!

[Excerpt from Grimka’s journal]

I did indeed regret not wearing my armor (even though my dress is fabulous).
Oknarok started things off with a bang (as usual) by shooting the leader of the guards (a rather striking Raven-man type). Raven-man retaliated by cursing Oknarok. Giffer tried to sneak attack one of the guards and when she wasn’t successful, she blamed us! No manners, especially considering we were fighting to save her life. Oknarok then tossed a trollbone, which made things quite crowded. Marqua became a pteranodon (further crowding things until she took to the air) and summoned a big tiger (which definitely crowded things, but was also really helpful). Giffer and I teamed up on one of the guards, while Oknarok tried to avoid the Raven-man. I took a hit from the Raven-man (instead of Oknarok) and, profoundly regretting my lack of full plate, died.
…
Giffer many fibs told
To the Queen mean and cold
First World’s killing me before I’m old
...
Happily for me, my companions prevailed, preserved my corpse, and resuscitated me! I apparently missed out on some wind walking.
When they finally camped, they did so in a forest, and Marqua put up a grove of respite that we all used. That night, while on watch, Malikor spotted a big, black, bird thing, with a glowy yellow center. We were all pretty tired, so we figured we’d let it go on its way.
...
The next morning we met an escort from the Baroness. He put up a giant signal showing where we were, which we all agreed wasn't the best idea, especially once we explained about the Anko that the Queen (probably) sent after us. We ended up hiding in a ring retreat that Marqua made while snacking on Bumblebee cakes that the Baroness had sent. They were marvellous, and gave us wings!! Later that day, we checked for signs of the Anko or other trackers (like the Barometz) and since all seemed clear, we headed out, all aloft on our wings.
…
We flew through a number of fascinating and impossible places before arriving at the Barony. None of them could match the warmth, beauty, and welcoming attitude of the Barony. I’m sure Malikor will be singing praises of the Baroness and Barony even more fervently now. It has certainly inspired me to further heights of lyric composition!
...
Hidden in a forest
Tasty cakes sent for us
First World’s wond’rous lands spread below us

The Barony aglow
True beauty I now know
First World’s worth fighting many a foe
…
The party the Baroness threw was epic. Bards, fighting, food, drinking, monkeys, fun people; merriment was all around!
I was able to (at long last!) catch up with Velvet!!! We had such an excellent time, managing the party together, and she’s even offered me a spot as an assistant! Of course, piratical duties come first, but it’s nice to have such a first-class Plan B. With all the gossip flowing, we have begun to suspect that Royce Rue is the (much loathed, of course) ambassador of Gale. Gale is known to the Baroness, so now I'm trying to figure out what exactly everyone is angling for. I think both the Queen and the baroness want Royce to be less influential which would be fine by me.
...
Baroness and Velvet
Our friendship is kismet
First World has truly been worth it
...
Of course, we did eventually have to leave the First World. Our arrival back in the Material Plane was unexpected, and also somewhat awkward, since it turns out that it's been about 6 months on the the Material Plane... I wonder what we've missed?

[excerpt from Grimka’s journal]

Well, after those stinky pigs, I was worried about what else might be in the swamp, but if there was anything, it rightly feared us and stayed clear.
…
We made it to the gentle hill, and began our climb. The hill may be gentle, but it’s still a lot of walking. We considered wind walking, but realized Giffer would probably make a run for it. She’s so enterprising, and full of adventurous spirit!
…
This hill is really long. The castle doesn’t really seem to be getting closer.
…
Ah, something’s been spotted in the distance! Some kind of cloud perhaps?
…
It was that rotten, good-for-nothing, cheating(I’ve heard the stories!), greasy haired, hook-nosed, First World scumbag, Royce Rue. (It’s hard to believe he’s from the same world as Velvet!). That low-down scoundrel killed me! He tried killing the rest of us, but the others are too good for him! I’ll be working double hard to make sure I’m keeping up with them so that next time I’ll be able to help kick his *&*#@*. Even little Giffer gave him what-for with spirit!
After that battle (and my subsequent revival!) we continued on up the hill. On and on.
This hill is getting a bit tedious. Perhaps a few more verses of my song…

Gentle hill of grass
This climb lasts and lasts
First World feels like a drill class

Big pillar of smoke
This guy is no joke
First World enemy makes me choke
…
We’ve come to a sort of stationary fog, we’re going to try just walking through it and hoping for the best!
Not a bad choice! Everything here seems quite lovely. We can finally see the castle clearly, although Leitauk does seem to be a little worried about the structural integrity. Finally we’ll get an audience with the queen! How exciting! I’m sure everyone will be captivated by our thrilling adventures! Unfortunately I suppose I won’t be able to tell them, since I don’t speak Sylvan. Ah, but we’re coming to some professional looking sentries. Time to make our presence known!
...
A pink palace in the fog
Guards’ uniforms like a log
First World sights leave me all agog

I am in raptures! The sentries seemed dismayed by our (truthfully, somewhat travelworn) appearances; they have shepherded us off to give us clothing befitting our status as brave adventurers in a noble court! The couturier (a word from Velvet, whose parties this good fey has attended!!!) is ever so elegant and colourful! We all get to choose the colours we will wear, so I shall obviously choose purple, since it is Velvet’s favorite colour. Maybe gold as well… such a rich color…
Ah! And she will design dresses or halberds?!?!! I MUST have a dress. Off with this full plate armour - I’ll simply tuck it in my bag of holding. After all, this a court affair, not some battle. Why would I need armour? This is clearly a place of refinement and delicacy(just as Velvet described!)!!
…
Well, we were rightly given immediate attention at the queen’s palace! We were escorted past the line of petitioners, and given an almost immediate audience!
Giffer showed a rather shocking lack of appropriate gratitude to us, and then proceeded to lie about the Sighing Vase. She told the queen she’d brought it, and that we were her prisoners! Really, it would have been funny if it hadn’t been so rude. Malikor and Marqua soon straightened that out, and were able to name drop the Baroness. That seemed to bring things to a close, and we were escorted off to a lovely balcony to await our (just!) rewards! So picturesque!
Here come the guards with some boxes!
…
There were lovely jewels for us, but orders to kill Giffer!! This cannot be right. Certainly she was a little rude and somewhat incompetent, but this is too drastic! I think we must step in.

I rather wish I’d left my full plate on…

Excerpt from Grimka's journal:

How exciting! We are travelling to the First World (Velvet's home plane!!) to return the gaspy planter thing to the Queen, courtesy of The Baroness. (This is apparently a bit of slap to the Queen, although, now I wonder if it's wise to slap people on their home turf...)Malikor is obviously excited. Giffer is not so excited. I guess we are stealing her thunder...
Anyway, I shall try to record the highlights of our adventure here:

We arrive safely in the First World using a spell. I like it when things work according to plan! Unfortunately, we forgot to plan a convenient method for moving that asthmatic vase around. So we decided to pop over to a nearby forest and make up a travois. Everything here is just lovely by the way. Absolutely stellar. It is clear to me that this place suits Velvet to a t. I do hope we see her while we're here... I would really like to go a real First World Party...
...
Malikor and Marqua have become slightly sidetracked in the making of a travois. They are taste-testing some of the natural wonders of the forest. Namely, tree sap and mushrooms (of course). The mushrooms are really quite fantastically attractive to be honest. Leitauk is having a little nap. Really this place is marvellous so far!
...
Well, we've just arrived in a very cute little town called Nifflebottom! The stroll over here was quite pleasant, and even rather amusing thanks to Leitauk's funny little dance and sudden sprouting of lush back grass!
Nifflebottom folks are quite charming upon acquaintance. There was a little cultural misunderstanding about Boneless Octopus Lions, but I often wonder about Giffer... I don't think she's always truthful (though I wouldn't say that around Marqua). The kind folk of Nifflebottom host a lovely picnic in the town square (which we rather fill up, it being such a very small town), and tell us about all kinds of things, and everything is very pleasant until Giffer throws a little temper tantrum about the Queen. She seems very passionate, waving around her fancy knife, and blathering on in whatever language they're speaking. Really, her manners leave rather a lot to be desired.
...
It turns out the good brownies of Nifflebottom also like mushrooms, so we're going to take them down the nearby cliff to an excellent patch on our way to the Queen's castle.
...
What a cliff. Rather traumatizing. Marqua became a falcon and flew Giffer down, but the rest of us and our "passengers" had a bit of a rough time. We were bumped into the cliff face, breathed the most foul air, and fell into and out of rain! Oknarok actually dropped his brownies (one of them ended up puking). There were definitely some mushrooms down at the base of the cliff, so we left the brownies there (they apparently have their own way back up) and forged ahead into a swamp.
...
I dislike swamps. I really, really dislike stinky pigs. Surprise attacks by six stinky pigs are one of my new least favourite things. Why is it that so few creatures pay so little attention to oral hygiene? These creatures even seem to have some sort of language, so why not mention to each other that they ought to go find some mint.
Oh well. Somehow we beat them. I don't remember particulars. There was shooting, there were boars? Or more pigs?
...

Thus far our adventures are really quite amazing. I think I shall write a song about all this. It will be quite epic, I'm sure.
...
Grass fields so vernal
Forest trees are tall
First World's beauty makes me feel so small

Sweet sap is sticky
Mushrooms so pretty
First World inspires my little ditty

Brownies as passengers
Cliff air full of odors
First World is chock-full of adventures

Marshes make boots go squish
Pigs with halitosis
First World grows ever more dangerous

An excerpt from Grimka's journal:

[... notes about Velvet's opinions on the party decor and guests' clothing and gifts, as well as some speculation about getting wings and being more like Velvet... ]

Now that I've described how everything looked, and all the big names (such fascinating people!) that were there, I can get on with recording all the thrilling adventures we had at the soiree (a fancy word for party, Thanks Velvet!). First of all, while we were receiving gifts (and what wonderful gifts; the only dud was the Elf wine, gross not to our taste), there was a commotion in the kitchens. Some of the officers went over to have a look, while others continued to attend to our guests. It turns out there was a sudden, mysterious rat infestation! Marqua and Malikor eventually dealt with that, so we went in to dinner.

We weren't quite finished when a woman naiad? showed up and promptly squirted some nasty kind of fluid all over the head table. Disgusting! We tried tying her up, and interrogating her, but still had difficulty figuring out what she wanted. Once we realized, we were horrified! Some cad had stolen her shape changing shawl! Obviously it was up to us to right this wrong, especially as we're the hosts of this entertaining event.

[part 2 to follow]

First entry in Grimka's journal:

Velvet Truewing suggested I keep a journal! She's really amazing, so in hopes of being as amazing as her I'm taking her advice on that front. Apparently, if I can sort through my emotions and "manage" them, the "right sort" of people will want to be around me. Personally, I think the officers of the Quipper are the right sort, but perhaps there are more right sorts out there.
Supposedly I need to focus on the positive. Things I'm thankful for.

This week, I'm thankful for... Not being Marqua. It's been a rough week for us, but Marqua really bore the brunt of it.
First, we decided to try using this huge dreamstone thing we found. According to Leitauk and Oknarok, we needed to get high (and blind?) to make it work. I'd have been dubious if Malikor was suggesting it, but Captain's orders are to be followed! I offered to go first in our little experiment, since I knew the others would have my back. It's a good thing they did, since as soon as I got into place, a couple of cyclopes statues animated and attacked. Animated cyclopes statues not only serve as guardians, they also serve as an excellent warning about oral hygiene. We caught some of their breath. Bad, very bad. (I understand what Velvet was saying about mint leaves now...) As if that weren't enough for one afternoon, Marqua ended up in rough shape thanks to grabbing the stone. She had to deal with some serious regression and spell loss. It must have been traumatic.

Then the very next day Marqua and I got gnawed on by a shark. Awful. Absolutely awful, I don't recommend it. Luckily Malikor, Oknarok, and Leitauk managed to kill both sharks, before we turned into shark canapes (fancy word for party snacks... thanks Velvet!). In the end we got some shiny stuff (and got rid of those kitten-pony-snake things!). I think it was worth it and now I'm getting excited about this party!!