Me neither. Question is, do we want to try and continue, or are we out?
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Bad times... What do we want to do from here peeps?
Thanks Dogbeard, still loving your piratical work!
Erm... What's happening with this, Has anyone heard from... anyone. Be nice yo get it moving again.. O
Ha! Love it.
Offenclopf, never one to pass up free food, and aware of Ghir's fast approaching appetite shoves the proffered sweet into his mouth and washes it down with the proffered potion.
With a noise somewhere between a cough, a sneeze and a belch, Offenclopf literally bounces with vigour. Grabbing his 'helm' in one hand and the left over potions in the other... "Besest juice ever! What others do... also you don't take Offenclopf's stuff!" Offenclopf peers at whatever sun there is through each potion in turn
Pocketing the Potion of healyness in a 'sneaky' (obvious) manner, Offenclopf tosses the other Potion back to the Captain "makes Gobbo tough as big owly-bear, Offenclopf no need for tough, Offenclopf sneaky" spotting the old wooden ship Offenclopf's eyes sparkle and he winds his arms readying to set fire to it...
Still feeling the worse for the last nights revelry, burping up the taste of bull slug, Offenclopf follows behind the captain, humming his song and setting fire to the occasional bit of wood/tree as they pass. When we reach the 'source' he looks round in wonder...
Looking from giant spider to carpet of dead spiders and back again, faster and faster until he falls over Offenclopf let's out a wail from flat on his back "Lotslets lays lotseggs, each eggs is lotslegs, lotseggs, lotslegs...lotseggs... lotslegs" Offenclopf bounces to his feet "we should get outs here, morelegs means more legs you know!"
Indeed! Couldn't have put it better myself...
Offenclopf runs from the horrible mass of legs and teeth, sweat beads his grubby forehead as his temperature spikes and he shivers uncontrollably.
Shocked at the sudden stinging swarm that engulfs his legs, offenclopf stumbles away waving his arms furiously as flames gather round himthen, pointing a wavering finger at the swarm, he swears loudly as a roaring flame complete with black smokerolls towards the tiny spiders.
The next morning Offenclopf wakes up hanging by one ancle from a tall pole, he vaguely remembered some of the last nights events culminating in a strange drunken request... "hoist me like a longshanks flag! Me be big hero, waving for all to see... ... Reaching up and burning through the crude knots that held his foot, Offenclopf carefully releases himself... With a thud he hits the ground face first, staying upright for a second then crumpling into a messy heap. Scooping himself up he trotts of to find some hair of the dog. ... Arriving at the moot house with others Offenclopf quickly grabs the map as it is held out, turning it round and upside down several times until the edges start to smolder and a ploom of smoke rises from it. Offenclopf shuvs it into Sara's already full arms. "Keep map with fireworks, safe from fire there..." He trails off, eyes bulging more than normal, if that's possible, as he spots Sara's pistol. "you got faraway-point-and-dead-stick. You magical-mistical gobbo!"
Offenclopf takes the rusty blade with a bow and, wobbling forward, falls to his knees and vomits up a slimey lumpy mess that splashes over Slorb. After a couple of seconds spent heaving and wretching he gets to his feet, smearing the vile slug remnant across his face with the back of his grubby hand. "thankee for shiny sticker Slorb, Offenclopf real champ now!" Stuffing the dogslicer into his sack, Offenclopf bounds off to find some gobbo to boast at Not loser no more, not no more, hero now. Got to go find loser to push in mud...
As a rusty longshanks dagger gives Offenclopf a new ear piercing he realises he's going to need both hands to pull this off. Looking down at the slime covering him he shoves the last two slugs into his mouth and starts chewing furiously...
Swallowing the discusting creatures down, he carefully makes his way from the rusting contraption. As he escapes a cacophonous belch slips from his mouth.
Following Drubbus' lead Offenclopf eyes the earbiter... "no gobos think Offenclopf hero eh? Well offenclopf show them
GM I'm not really sure what your after from us, are we hallenging the other PC's? Or ourselves? And what are the dares? Sorry if I'm being slow.
Offenclopfs snarly grin hasn't left his face since he was told about the firework expedition. He begins to sing as he skips from the moot house... little fire not for me,
Offenclopf punctuates this last line with a plume of fire sent skywards from his outstretched palm. Then scampers off round the camp, setting fire to bits of unattended firewood as he goes.
Offenclopf mutters to himself "'remember who am chief' mler blar bloo! Sllorb shud 'member who am chief. Not Slorb, for sure. Maybe Chief be big happy if Slorb burn mysteriously in huge massive firey fire!" Offenclopf sits cross legged, cross armed, cross faced where he is directed, like a 4 year old who's just been told off by the teacher.
BELCH Offenclopf belches loudly and smoke whisps from his nostrils and ears as the fire in his eyes dulls
Maybe others not laugh... maybe Offenclopf finally have friends... Offenclopf slowly comes forwards "Don't do making fire, friend. AM fire!" With that Offenclopf gathers power. Everything begins to heat up within 20ft of Offenclopf, the heat becomes flame as it spirals towards Offenclopf seeming to flow into his torso, then with a loud bang the room returns to normal, but Offenclopf's eyes flicker like fire for a few seconds... Offenclopf's grin returns as he looks around to see who is impressed with his display...
Offenclopf loiters in the shadow wreathed corner, humming to himself and clicking his grubby, rubbery fingers. With every click a little flame ignites on the end of his thumb, burning dirty and sooty, and then disappears. A crazed smile crosses his face. This all go up nice, maybe Offenclopf be king gobbo if all burns? His globular eyes flick to the other goblins in the room, and the smile turns into a grimace, all teeth with tongue hanging out No! Offenclopf always last, always looses, always smallest, other gobbos only here to laugh at Offenclopf! wait to hear what big gobbo have to say, might be good for Offenclopf... then maybe burn all the laughers...
I would like to offer Offenclopf.
O
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