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I actually gave them a +1 bonus on attack rolls against dogs and horses (a la dwarven and gnome Hatred) and a +1 bonus on attack rolls with attacks that deal fire damage. Pyromania ftw. Me like this! Dogs and horses bad! (But keep the Ride bonus for goblin dogs!)Fire GOOD!
"ATTACK!" Nurk cries, spurring Grindle forward. He pulls out his sling and whirling it around his head, lets a stone fly at the spider across the clearing.
"Let's move out." Nurk rides Grindle easily, enjoying the open air and the goblin dog's rolling gait. He starts to drift once more into his favorite daydreams, his mind's eye filled with visions of rampaging goblin knights, burning houses, and dead dogs. Ah, this is the life...
Nurk looks enviously at Brinkt's wolf. Suddenly, Grindle doesn't seem like such a fearsome mount after all. He petulantly kicks the goblin dog in frustration. Nonplussed, Grindle snaps right back at Nurk's backside. "YOW!" Nurk jumps forward, startled, rubbing his butt. "Bad dog!" "Everyone set?" Nurk goes around making sure everyone's saddle is firmly affixed to their mounts, swaggering a bit with his new 'slicer. "You sure you don't want a ride-chair?" he asks Brinkt. "It's much easier to stay on, and your bare bobblies don't bounce around so much." He pauses for a moment, then suddenly realizes she's a female. "Oh yeah, you don't have bare bobblies." Normally I'd let 'em fall and laugh, he thinks, but I've gotta look good. My troops have to look good too.
Nurk looks up at the dogslicer on the wall. "Oooooooh."
He takes the dogslicer off the wall, and gives it a few trial swings, then tests the sharpness of the blade by trying to shave a few hairs off Grindle's back. Satisfied, he hangs it from his saddle-horn, and looks through some of the other gear, finally selecting a shortbow and quiver of arrows. "I'm ready. Hurry up, youse slow slugs!"
Visions of his elite goblin cavalry swimming through his head, Nurk turns to face the assembled goblins. "Follow me, and I lead us to victory! The hobbos will shake in fear at the sound of our dogfeets pounding the ground. Our horsestickers and dogslicers make them into bloody dead things if they not join us for the glory of Thistletop! "Tonight we ride. For battle. For blood. For glory and shiny gold-gold!" Nurk bangs his horsesticker on his shield, throws back his head and lets out a dog-like howl, which is soon joined by Grindle. HOWWWWOOOOOOLLLL!!!
Spoiler: Nurk rides in, trying to look as regal and fearsome and hard as possible. He scans the room as he walks in, looking for exits, anyone who might stab him in the back, and any others who might be here.
He pulls Grindle to a stop before Ripnugget's throne and salutes the chief with his horsesticker.
Spoiler: Greenie? Nurk thinks. One day you will call me General, and me will summon you, No-Tooth!
Grumbling to himself, Nurk gets ready, putting on his dogskull helmet and spitting on his dogslicer in a vain attempt to polish the rusty blade. He takes his time, making the commando wait. He's not a knight, after all. When he's finally ready, Nurk leaps onto Grindle's back, the smell of wet sewage rising from the goblin dog enveloping him like an old friend. "Ok, I am ready," Nurk tells the commando. "We go now." Riding towards the throne room, Nurk looks up at the point of his horsesticker. I need a flag there, he thinks. Knights always have flags at the ends of their horsestickers. Something scary and bloody, like a dead horse. Like a dead horse crushing a dog. With a goblin dancing on top. Lost in his thoughts, Nurk arrives unexpectedly at the doors to the throne room. "You announce me," he tells the commando. "Say the great knight Nurk and his loyal Grindle are here. I go in after." It's important for a knight to make a big entrance. Show Ripnugget just who I am. What I can do.
Nurk and Grindle are here! Ready to trample Sandpoint under the feet of a hundred...no, a thousand...no, a million goblin knights and their goblin dogs! And burn it too! Lots! Background tied in with Vera as well. (And a "horsesticker" is just a lance, BTW.) |
