Tarrasque

Mythic Tarrasque's page

6 posts. Alias of DM_Blake.


RSS


My favorite way to not die is to not play high level mythic characters who, naturally, fight high-CR mythic monsters - a sure recipe for rocket tag instant deaths. Hopefully not every fight, but fairly often. And there really isn't any way to avoid being eaten by, well, ME!!!, unless your GM is really, really, really pulling his blows. Luckily (or perhaps unluckily for you), yours is not.


quibblemuch wrote:
Mythic Tarrasque wrote:
Send me, send ME!
Sorry, but you're needed for a Tarrasqunado...

Hmmmm, a bunch of freak tornadoes ravage Magnamar, with tarrasques falling out of the skies...

I lovely dream. But I'm too rare for that. Replace "tarrasques" with "kaiju" and let me be the last one to fall. That works.

Except, that means I only get leftovers. I hate leftovers.


Send me, send ME!

I love sushi. Or is it calamari? It's so hard to tell...


wraithstrike wrote:
Maybe making it mythic so it gets 2 turns and allowing it ___ rerolls on "save or the fight is over spells" would also help.

I'm way ahead of you, bub...


Hehehehe, you silly adventurers. You forgot a very, very, very important point. You always do.

I have more magic items than you. I am higher on the Wealth-by-Level chart, and I have the Wisdom to know that I need to use them. Even better, I NEVER have to go shopping. Over the centuries, countless tasty treats have showed up on my doorstep and fed themselves to me, and those yummy snacks have always had a pile of magic items. Every one of those would-be tarrasque hunters was loaded with a veritable Christmas tree of magic items and I've taken my pick over the centuries.

OK, OK, I'm not so good with reading scrolls or using wands (except when I swallow them whole!!!) and I've never found a magic sword that's better than my own armored teeth, but I have tons of other useful tricks. Ever seen a tarrasque on a flying carpet? Weeeeeeeee!!!!

I have 217 rings of invisibility. I only ever wear one of them, of course; I had a jeweler in some village I ate weld the other 216 of them into a charm bracelet for Mrs. Tarrasque (right before I ate him). I have a +5 Cape of Free Will and a +6 Headband of Mental Superiority. I have a necklace of continuous Prismatic Sphere and wear a belt of continuous Dimensional Anchor.

If you can name a magic item you don't want me to have, I have it.

So bring it adventurers, come to me. I hunger!


Just hire ME! I'll go C H O M P ! ! ! his squiggly slimy butt, chew him up, swallow him down, and ask for more.

I work cheap, too. Just feed me a few villages (full of yummy villagers, of course) and I'll be happy to beat down this puny Cthulhu upstart. No problem.