| Michael Saylor 656 |
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As a city is attacked by a dragon, by chance, clerics of various faiths seek shelter in the same house. The one following Iomedae says: "We need to stop that dragon somehow! I say we slay him!", to which the follower of Gorum agrees. The follower of Abadar says: "I say we strike a deal with him!" - everyone groans, but the one faithful to Asmodeus. The followers of Gozreh and Nethys are undecided, while the priestess following Sarenrae recommends a diplomatic approach. They all go back and forth, until finally, the follower of Calistria says: "F$~+ it."... and steps outside.
A gnome entered a bar. He stood by the counter and asked by some wine. Seconds passes. He asks again... nothing.. he starts to jump, trying to look over the counter, and asking "I want a wine! I want a wine!. He gets upset and walks around it, and finds another gnome jumping, trying to look over the counter, asking "red or white? Red or White?"
An Elf, a Human, and a Dwarf Go into a bar and order a beer. Before they drink, a fly lands in each one. The Elf shoves the beer away in disdain. The Human waves the fly away and drinks the beer. The Dwarf picks the fly up, holds it over his glass and yells, "Spit it all out you little *******!"
An elf and a dwarf come across a drow in the woods while adventuring. Preparing to attack, they are shocked to find an Efreeti which offers the three each one wish. The dwarf asks for his home hold to be filled with the best defensive weaponry possible. Not to be outdone, the elf asks for his home city to be surrounded by a huge, impenetrable wall, with no crack, crevice or even gate to fully ensure his people's safety. When it comes th the drow's turn, he thinks for a minute. 'How high is this wall?' he asks. 'About 30 feet' replies the Efreeti. 'And it's completely impenetrable?' 'Yes'. Again, the Drow thinks, before finally opening his mouth to declare his wish. 'Fill it with water'
An orc, an elf, and a dwarf find themselves being granted wishes by an Efreeti. The orc says, "We orcs need to return to power. I wish all the orcs and half-orcs were returned to their ancient lands." The Efreeti nods his head, and the orc vanishes. The elf says, "The elves need to get back to their roots. I wish all the elves and half-elves were returned to their ancestral home." The Efreeti nods his head, and the elf vanishes. The dwarf looks around. "Let me get this straight," the dwarf says, "the orc wished for all the orcs to be gone, and the elf wished for all the elves to be gone?" The Efreeti nods. "Very well, then," said the dwarf, "I'll have an ale."
A Chelaxian, a Varisian and an Absalomian walked into a bar. The bartender asks, "Can you afford this?". The Varisian leaves, the Absalomian drinks, the Chelaxian enslaves the bartender's family.
I’m not saying you’re fat, I’m just saying you look like you have immunity to levitate.
Your breath would make a bag of devouring blush.
Your mama is so ugly, Orcus's cultist worship her.
Your mother stinks so bad, even troglodytes won't come near her.
Your mother is so fat, even Rovagug wouldn't be able to devour her.
Your mother is always so hungry, even Rovagug is like: "Woman, take it down a notch!".