Leucrotta

Mellivora "Mel" Stoffel's page

15 posts. Alias of Dennis Muldoon.


RSS


Honey badger muscle in a cowboy hat

Hat pulled low, Mel saunters after Remy, trying to look nonchalant.

criminal: 1d6 ⇒ 4

His claws click on the ground and he stumbles into things, unaccustomed and ill-suited as he is to walking on just his hind legs.


Honey badger muscle in a cowboy hat

"Hm. As much as I wanna scrap it up with those guards....maybe we should be going?" Mel picks up his hat, whacks it against his side a few times to dust it off, plops it off his head, and saunters off toward the lecture hall.


Honey badger muscle in a cowboy hat

Mel darts forward, moving between the legs of one of the gawkers, attempting to trip the poor bastard. As they fall, he nimbly rolls out of the way, snatching their platinum pass and quickly shoving it under his straw cowboy hat.

criminal: 1d6 ⇒ 2


Honey badger muscle in a cowboy hat

Mel rolls his eyes at the ridiculous display, then joins his compatriots, choosing the pose of a mighty grizzly bear looming over prey. It looks...odd, considering the honey badger's short stature.

criminal: 1d6 ⇒ 3


Honey badger muscle in a cowboy hat

Lol.


Honey badger muscle in a cowboy hat

"Hmph. Sounds complicated. Why not just punch them and take their badges?"


Honey badger muscle in a cowboy hat

Mel follows Remy's lead, fishing blindly in the minibar, his hand emerging with a bottle of cheap whisky. He struggles with the screw cap in his claws for a moment before sticking the end of the bottle into his mouth and twisting, releasing the harsh brown liquid within. His gaze follows from Izzy to Remy and back as they converse, an annoyed look on his face.

"I didn't bust outta the slam to get poked by some stuffed up toy bear" he growls, swatting Izzy's hand away. "And I got no clue what either of you's sayin', 'cept for the lunch part. I'm all for that. Hey PP, what are you doin' back here? ain't you drivin'?"


Honey badger muscle in a cowboy hat

Mel looks at the little bear, then looks to Pineapple, Remy, and Lola, then back to the newcomer.

"Huh?"


Honey badger muscle in a cowboy hat

It's criminal! It ought to be a law!: 1d6 ⇒ 4

Mel, distracted by the minibar, fails to notice the folks in the car next door.

I wonder if they have any of that honey whiskey....


Honey badger muscle in a cowboy hat

So if I'm reading this right, a criminal roll is just 1d6 and hope to get 3 or lower?


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Honey badger muscle in a cowboy hat

*Flashback*

Mel sits patiently in his cell, fur a wiry, unwashed black but for the cream stripe on his back. He taps his claws in a mindless rhythm on the stone bench as he once again regards his surroundings, occasionally lifting one clawed hand to absentmindedly scratch himself. The walls are concrete and razor wire, open to the sky, the door an iron gate secured with two locked bolts. Guards pass by from time to time. Some of them look in through the bars of the door, making sure he's still inside; most of them don't bother.

Mel sits patiently in his cell, contemplating the outside. This isn't the first time he's been confined. It won't be the last. He runs through an escape route in his mind, using his thin mattress and the dead ficus in the corner. Hard to be stealthy like that, but it could work with a little luck.

Mel sits patiently in his cell until he hears a car horn blare in that distinctive pattern. Short short short long. Short short short long. Hm. Must be Pineapple driving. He always did like Beethoven. Mel stands, stretches, and glances out the door at the guard casually walking toward away down the hall. He sticks a long claw through the door, easily unlatching the bolts (ah well, maybe I'll try that new route outta here next time), then pushes open the door to freedom, stopping only to grab a dusty straw cowboy hat that some careless employee left on a chair.

Mel strolls confidently out of the complex and down the front steps. When he reaches the curb and sees the limo waiting he rolls his eyes. "Where the hell d'ya get this nonsense?" he demands, climbing into the passenger seat.

Don't worry. I'm sure I'll find plenty of opportunities for the 'incompetent' part :)


Honey badger muscle in a cowboy hat

Me too.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Honey badger muscle in a cowboy hat

But if we open the sunroof, our fabulous hats might fly out!


Honey badger muscle in a cowboy hat

Wait, the distance went UP as we got on the freeway? I'm not understanding what's going on with the numbers and the pass here. Is this something that will become clear as we go?


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Honey badger muscle in a cowboy hat

Like, can't we just smash things until we get the honey? What do we need to plan for?