IllyD's page

(Also posted in the Judges thread, but here for your fine minds, this is the finalised version)

Seekers Eye
Aura Strong Divination; CL 12th
Slot Eyes; Price 54,000 gp; Weight ---
Description
The Seekers Eye is a crystal lens which hovers in place half an inch from the wearers left eye. The lens has 5 charges, which renew 24 hours after the first charge was used, and can confer the following benefits.

As long has the eye has at least one charge remaining, the wearer receives a +2 insight bonus on reflex saves, as long as he can see the source of it.

As a swift action, the wearer of a Seekers eye can expend a charge to receive one of the following benefits:-

Expose Weakness:- Casting its gaze swiftly over its target, the Seekers Eye reveals the weakest spots in your opponents defences. Choose a target within 20ft. Until the end of your next turn, any shield or armour bonuses that opponent normally receives are halved on all attacks you make against them.

Follow Movement:- The Seekers Eye tracks the movements of its target, allowing you to guess with ease where your opponent will be when you strike. Choose a target within 20ft. Until the end of your next turn, that target is denied his dexterity bonus to his AC. This ability does also allow additional precision based damage (such as a rogues sneak attack) to its target.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Analyze Dweomer, Detect Thoughts, True Seeing Cost 27,000 gp

First of all, let me thank you for the review. I can answer all of your questions too :D

* Hate the mechanics on this one. Too open-ended on the "hostile intent" detection. And the "Follow Movement" and "Expose Weakness" abilities just seem like metagaming to me. The small inconsistencies in the template (such as the spells not being italicized or alphabetized; or the British spelling of "Analyse" vs. "Analyze") and even the name (which ought to be Seeker's Eye) don't help matters.

I thought the same about hostile intent, which is why I changed it in the second draft, It was meant to be for subterfuge, for example, in a kings court, where his advisor is plotting to remove you from the picture, for example. Follow movement and Expose weakness are called that, because, well, its what they do. As I imagine it, Dex is how good you are at moving away, so if something is tracking your movement, it doesn't matter where you move, and expose armour points out where the armour is weakest ^.^ I'll be honest, I didn't know I had to use Americanised spelling, I miss have missed that part in the rules, my bad >.< Same regarding the typo, I have no idea how I managed that, I checked it 3 times before submitting >.>

* Why does it hover in front of your eyes? Can't it just be some eyeglasses?

Cos hovering in front of your eye looks cooler? I thought goggles would be overdone to be honest.

* "Hostile intent" is too vague. And with a range of only 20 feet, you'll know it before this item will... when they attack you.

Again, I agree, though it does stretch to 60ft with concentration :D And I think in my submitted version I actually defined it with "subject must be aware of your presence and seek to harm you in some way"

* Why use the deny-the-Dex mechanic if you're not going to allow sneak attack or other effects that trigger on deny-the-Dex?..

..* Halving someone's armor bonus is just weird; it hurts the most protected characters more than the least protected, and has zero effect on an armorless person... better to just give a bonus to attack.

Because the main purpose of those item was for those "Can't afford to miss" situations. The abilities were written to compliment each other, as creatures tend to have either a high Dex bonus to AC, or a large armor bonus, this way, the player can choose, as oppose to being limited to one situation :D Though, I do agree, it should have given precision based damage ^.^

* Expose weakness doesn't have an action type listed. By default it would be a standard action, but its "gaze swiftly" text could imply otherwise.

"As a swift action, the wearer of a Seekers eye can expend a charge to receive one of the following benefits:" Sorry if I wrote it incorrectly, how would you recommend I phrase it?

Tbh, when I made this item, I had a savvy rogue in mind. To someone who engages in frequent conversation, being able to detect if your partner is hostile could save your life. Equally, rogues don't always have the easiest time hitting heavily armoured characters, or even other high Dex rogues, so I thought it would be a great item for them.

ISeekers Eye
Aura Strong Divination; CL 12th
Slot Eyes; Price 54,000 gp; Weight ---
Description
The Seekers Eye is a crystal lens which hovers in place half an inch from the wearers left eye. The lens has 5 charges, which renew 24 hours after the first charge was used, and can confer the following benefits.

As long has the eye has at least one charge remaining, the wearer can spend a full round action to detect hostile intentions from surrounding creatures within 20ft. By spending extra turns, the radius can be extended to a maximum of 60ft after 3 turns.

As a swift action, the wearer of a Seekers eye can expend a charge to receive one of the following benefits:-

Follow Movement:- The Seekers Eye tracks the movements of its target, allowing you to guess with ease where your opponent will be when you strike. Choose a target within 20ft. Until the end of your next turn, that target is denied his dexterity bonus to his AC. However, this ability does not allow a rogue to deal additional sneak attack damage to its target.

Expose Weakness:- Casting its gaze swiftly over its target, the Seekers Eye reveals the weakest spots in your opponents defences. Choose a target within 20ft. Until the end of your next turn, any shield or armour bonuses that opponent normally receives are halved on all attacks you make against them.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Detect Thoughts, Analyse Dweomer, True Seeing Cost 27,000 gp

^
What I submitted.
What I changed it to after submitting (and should have changed it to before)
V

ISeekers Eye
Aura Strong Divination; CL 12th
Slot Eyes; Price 54,000 gp; Weight ---
Description
The Seekers Eye is a crystal lens which hovers in place half an inch from the wearers left eye. The lens has 5 charges, which renew 24 hours after the first charge was used, and can confer the following benefits.

As long has the eye has at least one charge remaining, the wearer receives a +2 insight bonus on reflex saves, as long as he can see the source of it.

As a swift action, the wearer of a Seekers eye can expend a charge to receive one of the following benefits:-

Follow Movement:- The Seekers Eye tracks the movements of its target, allowing you to guess with ease where your opponent will be when you strike. Choose a target within 20ft. Until the end of your next turn, that target is denied his dexterity bonus to his AC. This ability does also allow additional precision based damage (such as a rogues sneak attack) to its target.

Expose Weakness:- Casting its gaze swiftly over its target, the Seekers Eye reveals the weakest spots in your opponents defences. Choose a target within 20ft. Until the end of your next turn, any shield or armour bonuses that opponent normally receives are halved on all attacks you make against them.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Detect Thoughts, Analyse Dweomer, True Seeing Cost 27,000 gp

Maybe your entry was much less good than those that made it, but you have to realize also that there is a degree of arbitrariness, perhaps even luck. In past years they have said they got down to about 100 entries and then started making really hard choices. So, even many that are extremely good get dumped.

This^

Can you honestly look at any of the top 32 and say they haven't deserved it?

Yes, mucho congratz, and further good luck to the 32 that made itt, I'm looking through your items now, and some of them are incredible, major props all of you :)

On another note, Anyone know if there is going to be a "reveiw my item" thread, for those of us that didnt make it? ^.^

Thank you very much for your words of encouragement.

I had no idea a competition like this existed, its like the X-factor for us aspiring writers, only less fake and 20 times more enjoyable. And with the amount of experience on here, its near impossible to walk away without at least gaining some insight into how to better your own creations, and the fact everyone seems so willing to help is refreshing as well. :)

I can definitely say that I'll be back next year if I don't make this years cut, and it's something I'd recommend to all my creative friends too. Thank you Paizo for giving us this great opportunity :)

I'm entering the contest for the first time this year, and I'm finding it really strange how nervous I am about it, even more so after reading threads like this, mainly because everyone seems much more mature and experienced than myself, who has only been playing since the 3.5 edition of DnD. I find every day a little more nerve wracking and exciting :-)

Best of luck to all entries this year, even if I don't make it through, I'm going to keep a close eye on this contest, if looking back at the last few years is anything to go by, there's going to be a lot of new ideas from a lot of talented people popping up, and where there are good idea's there's new inspiration! :-)

IllyD