Hozs Ferryman's page

My eidolon is so...
Wait.
Your, yup your, armageiddolon is...
Wait.
Your E.I. D.I O.... and on his far... uhhmmm...
hmmm...
OK OK. Uhmmm... Your ediolon is so... moo moo here... ARGGHH!
waitwaitwait. No really, this is a good one.
Your eidiolon is so stupid it uhhmmm...
Oh...
It is so stupid it...
uhhmmm...
Screw it. Screw You! Your eidolon is so stupid!

hmmm... OK I am out of practice, how do I create another alias?

Amar shoulders his pack and wades into the water. He sings a sailor's song, The Chase of the Kraken about a seamonster and a ship of the same name. The song is intentionally ambiguous in places.

...The Krak goes chasin' two by two Hozsa! Hozsa!...

Sorry guys, life is giving me some wicked combos lately.

Seeing someone still around when their last post looked something like that. O:)

uhmmm... and warm cookies.

doot doo do dadoot the big man whistles whilst lamenting the loss of the fake one's guidance.

** spoiler omitted **

Hozs looks into his bag of spider webs but finds only some strangely marked tiles.

doot doo do dadoot the big man whistles whilst lamenting the loss of the fake one's guidance.

Hozs sticks one finger to his lips, then moves it to his temple, and then back to his lips. Clearly the man is thinking but about what and how much will it hurt him is not so clear.

~belch~

Hozs holds one thick finger up to his lips. "Shhh... Be vewy, vewy quite. We is hunting kobolds.

"Rawr."

Rawr, rawr."

Hozs continues to sing his marching song, stamping Miss stick in on the dirt for rhythm...

"Maybe we should hide those bars first. It's not a good idea to wait until Hosz's back gives out on him first."

"Uhmmm... this many." Hozs holds up three hands with fingers stretched out wide to signify the power of his muscles. To emphasize his point he twirls Miss Stick, the only object of encumbrence on his person.

... of being swallowed by any more cookery.

Hozs gulps while following the small one. "errr... or anvils..."

Hozs Ferryman wrote:

Hozs offers to help carry things and loads the heavy bars into his pack. He hardly notices the extra weight, much like he does not notice the logic in waitng or any protestations.

There is at least 100 pound of adamantine and 50 pounds of mithral there, I doubt your pack can hold that. LOL.

"uhmmm... its a magical pack. See I just load up 20 of these and 20 of those and Uhmmm..." The man's tongue sticks out and his eyes roll toward loftier realms. When he eventually finds what he was looking for he adds, "Tada! See it's not so bad."

"Uhmmm... shhhh... (secret door) he whispers."

I again beg forgiveness to the post gods and Fakey and everyone who has been alive this past month, but i have not be around to pick my nose let alone post.

Out side i should catch up
Jaden aids the group is shareing the load,( not Frodo's ring of power what would be wrong, just heavy things) and packs as much stuff in is pack as he can. He does take note of the adamantine as it would cut thought trees like butter.Also big moveing pots, he should what the group wants to do with them.

welcome back Jaden

Effan Effluvium wrote:

Effan waits patiently for Hozs to leave with his prize, then sonically blasts the remaining eggsacks. He whispers to Abe and Morganst, "I don't want to upset the boy, but we should destroy that last sack as well when he isn't looking. It will just be trouble otherwise."

"Damn straight, droogy."

"Uhmmm... I'm right here guys, I can totally... OOOH a box!" and thanks

Sorry guys, life is giving me some wicked combos lately.

...

Hozs makes sure the swarm is not too near hatching. "Uhmmmm... innocents." the webs whisper to him though, and hoping he will be able to translate its secrets into useful energy later, he takes an eggsack carefully from the wall.

summon vermin, level 0 transmutation. casting time 60-90 days. :)

good news: I got an interem position/promossion and my time has been utterly sapped trying to learn everything. (hence the post midnight post.)

I will be posting less frequently, but will be reading and hope to be back to a schedule soon.

...

So....whassup?

"uhmmm... Webs? Well and stairs, should we... Uhmmm... the well is outside, the stars are up, well the stairs... Uhmmm... Stairs not stars. The stars are up too, but the stairs, uhhmmm... the stairs go up.... The well is outside." The big man trails off--his speech meandering in and out of grammar, mis-peaks, and homophones.

The remaining larger spider(s?) retreat back up into the webbing along the ceiling. The swarm of spiders however, roll over Hozs like a wave of legs, biting and scratching him viciously. (3 damage and make a fort save dc11 or take 2 strength damage. on Hozs' turn make a dc11 fort or be nauseated for 1 round.)

is Hozs still in the swarm? (do I need to still make a save on my turn?

"The spiders go marching two by two... by two by two, HozsA! HozsA!
The spiders go marching four by four, HozsA! HozsA!"
sings the big man.

he's not so vain, but he really does think this song is about him :)

Hozs ducks from Keegan's flames. Any of the vermin not scuttling fast enough after the blast get a helpful kick or sweep of Miss Stick from the big man.

perception 1d20+5=23
Uhmmm... they is just running away for something easier to eat.

Seriously, I don't know what to roll for this one. I just thought it would look cool.

"Uhmmm.... a reflex save?" asks Hozs thinking how cool Keegan looks even as the flames come onward.

The bites of so many tiny mouths do little against the protective barrier of the big man. 1d20+5=23 saved well :)

The swarm does cover his face and eyes however as he seems not to notice the retreat of the others. "Uhmmm... are you invisible?"

Jaden- 25

Faldor- 23
Morganst- 19
Spider- 13+
Keegan- 13-
Effan- 11
Abe and mount- 8

Jaden and Faldor leap to the attack and manage to fell the 8-legged monstrousity as 2 more of the creature drop down from the ceiling looking for blood. Morganst manages to hit one with an attack as it drops to attack Jaden but doesn't stop it from trying to hit as the other spider lands before Abe and attacks. Both of the creatures miss, but all of the party members in the tower see another threat.....out of the stairwell a writhing mass of hundreds of tiny spiders begins to spill down the stairs....a spider swarm!
Abe drops the spider that Morganst hit with his attack.

Keegan and Effan, then back to the top o' initiative. Hozs, jump in when you can, I'll retcon for your actions...

At the sight of the large vermin the druid draws an octogon with his holly and whispers secrets of the forest. It appears as if small, crystaline spiders crawl from the ground beneath his feet and attach themselves over his entire body as nearly invisible threads of energy.

Hozs heads over to the tower once the scalefolk tell us the way is clear and the rest of the party is ready. He picks a piece of grass and sticks it in his teeth to chew as he goes. "...dum be de dum..."

So is there some sort of a plan/path forward in all that stuff that I am missing? ;P

Uhmmm...??? we go inside and win?

Hozs tilts his head watching Effan dig. After the small man is done he drags a log over and balances the huge beam on one end. He sharpens a pair of sticks into stakes and connects them and the log with a small piece of rope or twine. Finally he scatters leaves and other 'dentrists' over twine, log trail and stakes.

The job completed he straitens and smiles. Shortly after he frowns. "Uhmmm... Effan? You do not have any food in there do you?"

survival check 1d20+9=19 to make a deadfall with the kobold bait.

Assuming everyone has their one item...

...
One of the smaller Reptilian Humanoids in the squad notices Hozs looking at the Fox Armor with some amount of sorrow and speaks to him in a broken common using many hand gestures to help get the point across. "Foressstfriend, pleassse do not think that we have usssed the animalsss of the wood in a....rude....manner. We only take the onessss that are weak or ssssick and ussse all that their livesss offersss. What we hunt issss necesssssary to keep the creaturesss of the wood healthy and ssstrong. Before our kind came to the foressst, the animalssss had diseassse and sssicknesss taking many more of their numberssss than we do now. Our Foressstfriendsss ssspeak to the denizensss of the foresst sssometimesss and they underssstand the need to keep them ssstrong. Our way is not for malice but to be caretakerssss. Instead offer thanksss to thossse who provide for ussss within The Wood by giving up their livesss to make the ressst ssstronger."

Hozs hugs the little scalefriend "That's the law of the Wood," the big man nods sagely. "Thankssss Uhmmm... friend,". He hands her one of the nature secrets from his bag. clw scroll. I will also be working on a new one replacement as time allows.

Catharine walks through the party then rubs against Hozs' leg to say, "I love you." Then she walks over to a tree and rubs against it. "I love you too."

my favorite cat joke

LOL

my favorite druid joke ;)

Hozs smiles again. "Uhmmm.... Bump?"

...

"... You jus look like a pack mule on two legs. ..."

"Uhmmm... Thanks I get that a lot." Hozs smiles at the misperceived compliment.

His face lightens up a little however as he sees poetic justice in a tree blackened by lightning becoming a conduit for electricity.
"I shall you call you Miss... Uhmmm... Other Stick."

Hozs looks at all the gifts trying to be gracious. He has a sad moment looking that the otter and fox hide. "Uhmmm... Yip a yap?"

Hozs fingers are tangled at trying to figure who many scalefolk will go which direction, but he snorts out a brief laugh. "Uhmmm... Jaden can we? Please can we?"

...

Just got a mentle picture of Master, Blaster from 'Mad Max, Beyond the Thunderdome'
...

LOL

... and the newtsss were ...

LOL I oft refer to the younguns in my circles as hatchlings *grin*

"Newts? I thought she was turning into a wolf not an amphibian?"

Hozs' face drops at Effan's discomfort. "Uhmmm... Bark Leo snuffle ruff?"*

"Uhmmm... Do you want a Hozsy-back ride?" Hozs squeeks at Miss Squeeker who climbs down and begins walking alongside him. The big man then picks the short-one up and slings him on his back.

"Friends!" The big man mimics faldor's motions but a puzzled look hovers on his face. Finally he offers, "Uhmmm... I mean. Friendsssss!"

Hozs stops to collect moss from the magic side of trees. And when a feather floats from out of the trees he carefully catches it on an oak leaf and sticks it into his bag.

Looking over Abe's shoulder--well his head actually--Hozs sticks a thick finger to the word 'ferry' on the map. "I can see my house!"

Hozs offers last watch as it gives him a chance to perform his katas early in the morning. Around the camp he and Miss Squeak will circle the area gathering firewood and watching for signs of foresty-dangers.

"Uhmmm... and pixies. Watch for pixies," he says to himself.

"Ok! OK! I'll do it again Hosz. It'll have to be a copper though... I don;t have all THAT much silver laying about."

Morganst continues to walk along beside the cart flipping the copper piece along his fingers and making it disappear and reappear. Several times he reaches out to "magically" pull it from Hosz's ear and hair.

slieght of hand- 1d20+11=20

Hozs shakes his head vigorously, but all he can get to drop out are bits of hay.

Morganst sits lazily against a tree in front of the house. Several small children play around him as he lounged. Out of habit he starts to roll a silver coin along his knuckles. After several giggles, he flips his hands palm up to show the coin had disappeared. With a wave, it was back, then almost as quick it was gone again.

Reaching out to a mousy haired boy he winked. Making an overly grand gesture Morganst pulls the coin from small child's ear. "Best get that to Jeva, eh?"

He was ready to go. Children and houses in the woods require far more work than he was comfortable with.

Slieght of hand- 1d20+11=23

Hozs claps and whinneys. "Do it again, do it again!"

lizards it is

"Grrrr.. Roof Roof!"

Hozs chuckles an agreement. "Grroflroowo? Grr... Grrr... Oof."

Abernathus Burbuckle wrote:

"Aw, Keegan, there is beauty in all natural things, you just need to know how to look."

"Pfft... Most's it just be looking like eats, eh, droogy?"

"Uhmmm... Eats or be eatsed. That is the law," the druid misquotes. Then he says something else just as unclear, but when his jaw stretches into a muzzle and his ears grow long, it is clear magic is involved. "Uhmmm... Grr RRuff ssn woo a woo, eh doggy?"*

*

Abe and Leo sit with Horz, Miss Squeaker and the girl. Abe keeps a short leash on Leo so he doesn't try to eat Miss Squeaker.

At some point he says to the dim druid: "My man Horz, I have heard your kind can sometimes talk to animals. Can you talk to Leo?"

Hozs nods genially, but a little warily. Most of the people asking this question are looking for the butt to some non-joke. Or a joke that he is never in know about. Finally he opens a bag with nearly a dozen bundles of leaves, fir, bones,rocks, sticks and some less identifiable bits. "Uhmmm... I have many secrets given to me by the forest. See?"

"You ssspeeak lizzzzard? Hozs tries to politely work it into the conversation to ask if she can also speak whaaaallle?

"Uhmmm... I will go onest." Hozs carries his sleepy self to the basement to sit with the girl. He and Miss Squeek will practice katas to waken himself up. Before his shift ends he will send a cute, little, and ethereal bunny hopping to the wolf-girl.

"The merchant is a common traveler from Korvosa through The Hollow and down to other cities to the south. He passes through every 4-6 months bringing news and wares from other lands. He has always been amiable and I have no reason to doubt his story." is the reply that Morganst gets in response to his question.

"The Scaled Ones come to the house, every couple weeks, bringing me and the children fresh game, fish and a variety of tubers for food. They stay for a day and help with the care of the orphanage's grounds like clearing away brush and debris so the children have a good area to play in, general repairs to the house and such, and some of the young Lizardfolk come along with them and spend time playing with my children. They have always been a gods-send for us and their assistance has gotten us through some very tough times. I know some in town have a differing opinion of The Scaled Ones, but I think those that do haven't seen them and are prejudging them based on their differences. I find their company to be more welcoming then most of the folk in town, which is why I chose to leave town in the first place. There were so many things there to corrupt the children, the lumber barons, petty, thieving gangs, scoundrels and swindlers. All looking for the opportunity to corrupt my poor charges. Out here they can grow up slowly and be children like they should." she seems to be getting quite emotional in her manner.
"The Lizardfolk have always treated us as friends and shown us respect and I would keep them protected if I can which is why I hesitated to talk about them until I knew whether you got your accessories by sword or fellowship."

He smiles in that equine way he does. "Uhmmm... I like the ssscalefolkssss. Ssscalefolksss are friendsss."

"Uhmmm... I like the ssscalefolkssss. They have ottersss and are friendsss."

thanks O:)

I dohn even exercise

Hozs hears

The kindly face of Elara is tear-streaked and red from watching the poor girl's ...whwhahwhwhah...

...whwhahwhwhah...

...whwhahwhwhah...

...whwhahwhwhah... I have a large pot ..."

Hozs gulps and puts his hand to Miss Squeek. "Stay behind me..."

...

Keegan does not look happy.

All is normal then *phew*

"Still poultry? Uhmmm... no she is still lupine."