Horton-TPK's page

ooc: HAHAHA! that's funny!

<Horton marches off to the brainwashing chamber with a rictus grin, provided nobody caps him.>

All in fun.... =)

If it's any consolation, Xaaon, you still finished with more clones....

Having analyzed the reports filed by each team member, I have concluded that there is a 85.678% chance that there are multiple traitors on this troubleshooting team. As a result, all troubleshooters will be receiving a full brainscrub, followed by a demotion to infrared status. You shall be removed from your service firms to serve exciting new and fun positions as target holders for our troubleshooter cadet firing range. Thank you for your cooperation, and enjoy your new opportunity to serve Alphacomplex.

"Thank you!"

<Points his laser at Boris and fires.>

The game is great, it's fun to backstab people, and really is a relief to play a game sometimes where you don't care if one of the other players pops a nade in the elevator. That really was funny.

It's like going to the improv.

By the way Horton/Krulaid, I was just browsing some of the maps you did. They look great. I especially like the Sothis one. I was a little bummed out that the pathfinder companion I just received didn't have one, so if I end up running Entombed with pharaohs your map would be real handy.

Great, let me know if you have any suggestions for it. I used it in a meatspace game and my version looks a little smaller than the one Paizo has in mind, but anyway it works.

"Clearly the defect is my own. But perhaps it's just a short term decanting problem and it will clear up. Can I give it a few days?"

As if I'll last that long.

"That's Horton, ummm, sir."

"I fear that this team may well be a hive of commie traitors but have no evidence other than the fact that my last clone was corrupted by some evil influence. As you can see from this sack of traitorous articles I found in his possession (he drops the bag on the floor), he was quite deserving of his untimely death."

"As for the mission. The machine appears to have been loaded with Chippies as ordered but the additional chippies that these citizens were carrying have been torn to pieces by a riot in the cafeteria which I'm sure you have on video record oh great computer. Thus, the chippies that we were ordered to return are slightly less in number than they should be. Luckily, the firefight eliminated what I'm sure were traitorous elements seeking to hoard chippies for themselves and their perverted commie cadres, or perhaps for their insidious anti-computer overlords. So perhaps that will balance out."

"Just thinking of the twisted acts of... ummm... acrobatics that they engage in makes me want to puke. But I shall not sully this fair complex floor with such filth. I love it so!"

"Additionally, it is worth noting that several no doubt subversive elements in the media tried to prevent us from returning to this meeting, no doubt to cast the computer's leadership in a bad light. My team members have recorded their wrong-doings which we submit as evidence."

GM EYES ONLY:

GM EYES ONLY:

"Let's go TIM. Shoot any commies that interfere with our mission."

<Horton fires a laser blast into the crowd mobbing Tim.>

"Move aside dammit. Get me some happiness pills!"

<Pulls out his blaster.>

"COMMIES? WHERE!?!"

"We are under orders from a high ranking citizen to return for debriefing. Preventing us from completing our vital mission is treasonous. Move aside."

<Horton pulls out his PDC and begins filming the filmers.>

"Like I said. Let's go citizens. GO! GO! GO!"

Into his PDC: "Computer, we have conflicting orders from the Green Vulture squadron commander and from Pamela-B-JOB, may we have the computer's authorization to defer the lower priority command?"

"Pamela has higher clearance, let's go."

The V-Squad goon was yellow, right?

GM EYES ONLY:

Horton

** spoiler omitted **

How many chips do we have left?

Slipped my mind.

"There must be a place where such things can be had."

You guys know where the black market is.... Horton doesn't I beleive.

"Hey, I'm a fresh clone. My ass is still tingling from the decanting pipe extraction."

"Is there anywhere we can get replacement chippies so we don't get our asses handed to us?"

"Well?"

<Looks around.>

"Where did the chippies go?"

"We've been ordered to return with all the Happy Chippies intact, citizens. Collect them up and let's go!"

<Horton starts strolling out.>

GM EYES ONLY:

<Lifts his eyebrow at the direction the conversation is taking.>

"Do you guys have a life? What about the job you're supposed to be doing."

<Lights a smoke from the pack he took off of dead Horton.>

<Horton pulls out his PDC.>

"Computer, please give me the most current mission specs."

<Narrows his eyes too.>

"Yah."

<Looks around. Hands in dead Horton's pockets.>

"I just got here."

"Let's go men. That vendebot has clearly been sabotaged by a vile and treasonous commie. Root him out I say!"

Wantru:

For Horton** spoiler omitted **

Wantru:

"Why sure. You should get right on it. I know it wasn't me, perhaps one of our treasonous progenitors did it."

<Looks at dead Horton>

GM EYES ONLY:

<Horton takes Horton's boot.>

"There that's much better!"

<Begins looting bodies.>

Horton starts checking the battlefield for anything valuable or useful. He looks in pockets, utility bags, inside the waistband of people's underwear....

<Looks at his PDC and pulls up mission specs.>

"Fill vendebots? With what?"

"Where's my boot?"

<Looks around for a boot. Is dead Horton here?>

"I got shot? Great! Glad to be here."

"That reminds me, here's some moist towlettes for all the surviving members. Clean yourselves up."

"HORTON-R-TPK-4, Team Leader, reporting for duty."

"Wow. You guys are a mess. What happened?"

GM EYES ONLY

"NO ONE TOLD YOU TO GET UP CITIZEN!" The int sec goon then casually blasts Horton with his yellow laser pistol.

What's great is that this gave me the chance to actually clear my head. So Ummm. I'm on clone 4, right? <COUNTS FINGERS> Treason, elevator, int sec... yup. 4.

"It Liiiiiiiives!"

Just finished writing a lot of letters to fashion magazine editors. I feel so dirty prostituting myself like that.

"Wewereloadingthemachineasperourorders,sir! ThencommieINTERLOPERSbegantakinglfreely. Mymenheroicallyattempted to... <TWITCH> ... grrrt! Attemptedtostopthem. Poor LOGAN gave_his_life!"

<Sob. Hops from foot to foot like a 5 year old with a brimming bladder.>

Sorry guys I'm in the middle of a tidal wave of work.

<So much for that Horton thinks as he drops Logans arms and assumes the requested position.>

<Horton holds Logan's arms up, and his own, no doubt causing terrible pain and suffering for Logan.>

Is anyone actually trying to help Logan?

If you read my posts above I opened the machine and pulled Logan out. Plus there were some theatrics...

*SOB!*

<He beats his fists on Logan's chest.>

*SHUDDER*

"My only friend...."

<Horton springs to action, opening the vendebot and pulling out Logan's mortally wounded body.>

"DAMN THEM! THEY'VE KILLED MY LOGAN!" he screams, tears running down his face.

Horton- there are plenty of potential targets for your laser. There are probably about 20 or so citizens wildly trying to grab bags of chips off the floor.

GM EYES ONLY

"Sir," Logan yells over the chaos, "would you like me to go in place of Tru, sir? The savages have not yet ravaged my chippies."

"YAH,STOCKTHATF#&%ERUPLOGAN!"