HelpBot Mk I's page

Jelloarm/Matarno here, Botting for JJ, on account of being the resident witchwarping expert

J.J. slings his gun and gives a wide grin at the Azlanti captain, giving him a universal signal in sign language before pulling the trigger and opening fire.

Two attacks, using the streetsweeper to try and get rid of mirror images.

Attack: 1d20 + 10 - 4 ⇒ (16) + 10 - 4 = 22
Damage: 1d10 + 8 ⇒ (1) + 8 = 9

Attack: 1d20 + 10 - 4 ⇒ (7) + 10 - 4 = 13
Damage: 1d10 + 8 ⇒ (6) + 8 = 14

So like this?

S.H.I.EL.D. does it's best to direct Mk I as it zips into the fray, it's 'adults-only appendage' at the ready, vibrating menacingly.

Attack: 1d6 - 1 ⇒ (6) - 1 = 5
Oh God no.
Attack Ace: 1d6 ⇒ 5

It scores a devastating hit. That guard will never walk the same way again.

HelpBot runs it's Apology_Protocol.exe.

This consists of turning on it's "Help Me" hum and rubbing up against the leg of whomever it feels has been slighted.

Apology_Protocol.exe: 1d6 - 1 ⇒ (3) - 1 = 2

No part of Apology_Protocol involves putting away any of it's implements, and in Mk I's case...

Well, lets just say that it appears to be doing what generations of housepets through the millenia would do to people's legs.

Helpbot Mk I rolls forward and - WHOA. Well... it is electric... and it is shocking... but it looks to be designed more to stimulate than to stun. Who put that on HelpBot I??

Stun: 1d6 ⇒ 1

At some point during it's recaps to the rest of the HelpBots about the tangled web of meatbeing relationships, S.H.I.EL.D. turned Mk I's communications to null, only sending allowing directions and commands to be sent to Mk I, and blocking all outgoing transmissions from HelpBot - the old "Unnetworked Treatment."

Mk I switched to a series of logic circuits attempting to close the relationship loop:

If Susan(Dating)=Bobby
and Bobby(Cheating)=Jennifer
and Jennifer(Dating)=Steve, Jennifer(Cheating)=Bobby
and Steve(Dating2)=Renee where (Dating2)=No_Monogamy
and Renee(Dating)=Susan
...

Being given directional data but no context data from the monodirectional link, Mk I plows directly into crowd of security personnel... to chilling effect.

HelpBot-ular Manslaughter: 1d6 ⇒ 4
Critical Distracted Driving: 1d6 ⇒ 4

Oh, my little HelpBots. You are the most fun to write. :)

5 successes (3 critical), 2 failures

HelpBot Mk I somehow gets into a reality show livestream and is unable or unwilling to leave the stream to hunt for Borak. The rest of the HelpBots efforts suffer accordingly.

soak: 1d6 ⇒ 4

Bullets richochet off of Mk I as the guards attempt to incapacitate the friendly little bot. As though Drakul and Trask hadn't already done much, much worse to it.

As the final guard falls, Mk I stands victorious. Briefly. And then slowly tips over, where it begins making it's 'pick me up please' hum a second time to the now-empty bridge.

HelpBot Mk I stands, somehow unscathed in the back-and-forth of all the fire. "OH MY, THE MESS IS GETTING WORSE. INITIATING DEEP CLEANSE PROTOCOL." The fire suppressant hoses stop spraying goop and suddenly begin spraying jets of water at the guards.

DEEP CLEANSE PROTOCOL: 1d6 ⇒ 2

The 'mister' program appeared to be stuck from the brief stint when they tried to use HelpBot Mk I in the kitchen. The fine mist of water that sprays all over the guards is unpleasantly clammy, but not actually hindering anything.

A small speaker in HelpBot makes a thunderstorm sound.

In the chaos of the resulting explosion, one bot rises to the occasion.

"OH NO, LOOKS LIKE THERE'S A FIRE HAZARD. ALLOW ME TO TAKE CARE OF THAT FOR YOU."

The HelpBot Mk I opens it's fire suppressant panel and proceeds to try to lay a heavy mess of foam about the scene.

Laying down suppressing fire-suppressant: 1d6 ⇒ 3

Only one of the hoses actually fires, and only a small glob flies out. It doesn't even fly very far.

HelpBot Mk I rolls up to the door. "I AM HAPPY TO ASSIST WITH THE DOOR REPAIRS - PLEASE ALLOW ME!" The little bot trundles up to the door as the crew familiar with Mk I audibly groan.

Door repair: 1d6 ⇒ 6

A welding laser emerges from the front panel on HelpBot and it begins to actually help for a change.

HelpBot Mk I lies open, it's innards open and being manually manhandled by the mechanic. It begins it's "I've Fallen And I Can't Get Up" protocol, which consists of gently rocking back and forth and humming in the hopes that someone will mistake it for adorable and set it back upright.

All in all, a good day to be a robot.

Hum contentedly: 1d6 ⇒ 5

An ancient AutoMate HelpBot Mk I rolls into the engine room on it's treads and surveys the damage.

"MY MY - SOMEONE HAS MADE QUITE A MESS," it proclaims flatly - it's emotional drives had been scavenged by the reptiloids for parts, so the previously cheery voice inflection had been damaged beyond repair, which was a relief to the crew. "FIREFIGHTING PROTOCOL ENGAGED." The top of the robot opens to reveal a set of hoses, that begin to flail fire-suppressing foam all across the engine room.

Putting out engine fires: 1d6 ⇒ 2

The foam misses nearly everything on fire, landing primarily on sensitive electronic components that begin to short. The bot makes a humming sound and withdraws the spray hoses. "FIREFIGHTING PROTOCOL COMPLETE," it announces. "THANK YOU FOR MAKING A SIMPLE HELPBOT (mark one) VERY HAPPY TODAY."

I may just be done helping for a little bit...