Grumpy Old Grognard Noises's page

Back in my day, we had four--count 'em, four--races, and by the gods, that was more than enough! You picked human, dwarf, elf, or halfling, and you were grateful for it. None of this "ancestry" nonsense. Ancestry? Bah! In my time we called 'em races, and they meant something! A dwarf was tough as old boots, lived underground, drank ale that'd strip paint, and hated orcs on principle. An elf was graceful, long-lived, and probably writing poetry while the rest of us were actually fighting. Gnomes were quirky little inventors who might blow themselves up, and halflings? They knew how to stay out of trouble, enjoy a good meal, and still stick a knife in a goblin's ribs when needed.

Humans? We were the versatile ones. Jack of all trades, master of some if you rolled lucky. No fancy bonuses everywhere--just good old-fashioned grit. And that was it. No catfolk prancing around with tails and attitude problems. No fish-people gillmen or whatever the hell an "azarketi" is supposed to be. No spider-folk anadi turning into eight-legged weirdos at the dinner table. No walking plants, no bird tengu, no ratfolk, no kobolds playing at being dragons, no androids from outer space, no fleshwarps that look like they lost a fight with a wizard's cauldron.

We didn't need versatile heritages or rare ancestries or books full of options so bloated the core rulebook couldn't even hold 'em all. You wanted to play something exotic? Tough luck, kid--roll up a half-elf or shut your yap and play a human like your grandpa did. We had depth, not width. You learned to roleplay the hell out of a dwarf because there weren't fifty other short grumpy options competing for the spotlight.

Now look at you lot today! Whining on the Paizo forums about what new "ancestry" you're still craving. "Oh please sir, can we have more centaurs? More slimes? More dragon-people? More whatever-the-hell a conrasu is?" Spoiled rotten, the whole generation! You've got more choices than a wizard has spells, and still you're not happy. Back in the day we'd have killed for half the options you crybabies take for granted, and we ran entire campaigns with just the basics and had the time of our lives.

You kids and your fancy ancestries... pah! In my day we had humans, dwarves, elves, gnomes, and halflings, and by thunder, that was more than enough! Now get off my lawn before I hit you with my +5 vorpal cane of "back when games were simple."

Paizo hates on Wizards because Wizards tried to wreck them with the OGL fiasco. It's just more identity distancing. They'd probably do away with it entirely if they could.

I think this is a case of "if it isn't broke, don't fix it."

I strongly feel that less attributes would only serve to make characters more homogeneous and less interesting.

I also think that the current terminology is quite clear in describing a character's various qualities. Many of the alternative names proposed above would require more explanation to come with them as they don't strike me as being as intuitively appropriate.

Help me understand how to build a good DPS psychic

Step 1) Start with the sorcerer class.

Step 2) Describe it as a psychic.

Easy money!

The game is far easier for people to learn than past iterations. There may be more rules, but they are far simpler and better written. What's more, there are far more useful tools and resources to help one play the game. We have it better than ever before.

The player base, on the other hand, has grown far more dependent on hand-holding, railroading, and general GM coddling. Social media, poor parenting, failing school systems, divisive politics, and the constant social campaigns to destroy the nuclear family are causing society in general to devolve to Idiocracy levels of helplessness.

Back in my day people could think past the immediate consequences of their actions, could see through their initial emotional outbursts and produce something resembling a logical thought process, and often took the initiative to find things out or get things done, rather than screaming into the aether that no one was taking care of their every need.