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Gizzard watches Kip hop down the steps. ◇ He nocks an arrow and begins to aim at Kip, then pauses. One more second and I gots me a headshot... let's loose the first at the bad kitty on friend... "Hippity hop, hippity hop..." He ◆ strides forward to get a clear shot, then fires one arrow at the last leopard. ◆
A split second after the arrow flies he nocks a second and pivots back to Kip. "Now I make your murder-spree STOP!" As soon as Kip's foot touches the floor, Gizzard's second arrow flies. A moments hesitation causes him to shift his aim by a fraction of a degree, and he aims to glance the side of his head. Maybe it kill him anyway... maybe it don't... but paffinder manual said don't kill if you don't have ta... although I kinda hope he does anyways... but least nobody gonna say I dinnit try... ◆
Gizzard gulps. "Uh... maybe I should've thought this out a bit better..." He looks at the leopards and considers his odds of disabling the most heavily wounded of them to make an escape. ◆ He grins wide, then raises his bow. "Night night kitty." He pins the leopard's paw to the ground, then leaps through to find a safer position.
◆
With that he runs out of the awkward position he placed himself.
After a long cold stare, Gizzard finally opens his mouth. He pauses before letting the words come out... less than thrilled with his own thoughts but unable to convince himself to be the better goblin today. "You gotta problem... you come talk. You dinnit do that... and now imma feed you to your [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] cats..."
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He fires an arrow directly at the halfling's head. ◆
Gizzard chases after Tiger. "Your gonna find 'em right?"
Back at Jonas he barks. "Not like we're not gonna be a target when we're not glowing. Anyone who can't see at night should prolly walk with Tigerman. Rest o' us can scurry 'bout lookin for stuff." He tosses Tiger a flask. "Drink up! This one on the house!"
"Well, the bridge aintnt finished yet... so the cats gotta be jumpin' something or comin' from another side. Plus the halfling gotta cross too. Less he's flying. Ooh ooh... We should make ourselves look like we work here! That way when they come in they think we weak prey... then BAM!" He punches his fist emphatically, then yelps in pain. "Either way, they ain't gonna be dragging folks off and through the river so we should prolly make sure if they do catch someone they have a hard time makin' off with em. Maybe put the pits at the entrance. They sure gonna have no problem gettin' over em on the way in but if they gotta gobbo in their teeth they ain't going back."
Gizzard rummages through the captured bandit's gear. "I uh... dun seem to have much things for fightin stuff far away..."
After that he does the rounds with the rest of the party. "Prolly also should be settin watches. No 'fence on the guys here but I think if they keep gettin' hauled off in the night we prolly should be the ones up at night. Sleep all day an work all night? Hope the locals dun mind us bein noisy buildin' fences at night..." Inspecting the lay of the land, Gizzard conjectures, "Doubt the fences or pits gonna hold off the cats much, but if we wanna slow em somewhere prolly wanna slow em 'round the tents. Hard ta protec the tents. Ann maybe put a pit near the entrance 'case the halfling walks in?"
"Hmm... maybe we can free the kitties? I like kitties too... they like fish! And they not dee oh gee esses." Gizzard scratches his nonexistant beard. "So... we kill the halfling and feed 'im to the cats?" After a pause he adds, "Right... no bein' murdery vagrants. So uh... well... make the halfling go away... prolly by killin him but not necessarily! Then hope the kitties go 'way nicely. Should prolly see if we can find which way they like ta come in... and if the halfling comes wiff em. Time for a little walkies 'round the camp?" Gizzard spins in circles a few times until he's dizzy, then walks straight until he finds a clue.
Gizzard grins. "Wonderful! See? You got 3 questions! You got the What, then Why, and How! Imma make sure the tribe dun go toooooo hard on you." Gizzard considers the case at hand. He informs the tribe that Brian spilled whatever beans he may have had, but doesn't really bother to check up on his well-being much past that... not out of malice but out of a really short attention span.
Gizzard sits cross legged in front of the woozy thug. "Well mister abandoned bandit. Or aband-it? You got a name? See there are lotsa things that we wanna know... and I suspeck that you know at least a little of the lotsa. If ya dunno who, maybe you know what they looked like? Or where ya met? When ya met? Why they want'cha ta beat up these poor kids? How they payin' ya?" He rummages through his bag for a snack. "Hungry? I've got some fresh dried carp! Hard ta think onna empty belly. 'sides... once ya think clearly you probably gonna figure out that if your buddies left'cha here then yer empl... em... people who paidja ta do stuff... dinnit pay enough to make sure you all come back safe... so you prolly gonna want some help wif that."
He smiles. "So... how bout'cha pick a couple of those questions and give an answer or two. I think all the little ones here gonna be a lot happier once we got someone else to go poke with a pointy stick."
Gizzard looks at the bandit in front of him, then back at the flaming wagon... then back at the bandit... then back at the flaming wagon. "Umm.... ummm...."
He considers both courses of action, then smiles wide. "I've got questions ta ask you! An it'll be hard to keep the fires out if you keep startin' em... so..."
With that he retreats towards the burning wagon.
Gizzard grins. Hey guys! Watch this! He sheds his armor, then pulls out a pair of knives and gets to work on the evenings provisions, transforming a rather bland meal into... well... a meal only a goblin could love.
"I present to you... horse do-overs!" He piles them up on a tray, then balances the tray on his head as he leaps around passing them out to anyone whose mouth is open long enough to receive one.
I filled out the macros, but as an investigator I have 'on the case' which can give me a +1 bonus to most of those skills under certain circumstances. At the moment I have not included those bonuses, and we'll need to figure out the scope of my 'case' before we get too far in, but if you want me to add that +1 to any of them I can go ahead and do that. Otherwise it's probably easier to just consider if on the case should apply any time I fail by 1.
"Couldn'ta put it better myself!"
A goblin sits down, wearing a pastry hat and smelling of fish. Several cooking knives clank against the seat as he shifts, but the silly grin he walked in with quickly fades at Yigrig's story. "So like... bridge isn't haunted or nothin... just a bunch of jerks murderin' us greenskins? So like... when we find 'em we dun need to like... try to talk them down or find out their um.... I think the paffinder book said somethin' bout mo...tives? None of that? Just beat 'em up and take their stuff? I uhmm... just wanna mek sure cuz like... the recruiters all said stuff about not bein' stabby vagrants and tryin' ta see the bigger picture" Gizzard puts major air quotes around 'bigger picture' and pauses before continuing. "But if they're murderin' our kin... Well... really your kin... but yeah... kinda also our kin... I'm not really that keen on listenin' ta their sob story or nothin. Imma happy ta help keep your kids safe... I'm prolly not much older than 'em though. Do they like sue-she?"
I just purchased some of Itka Biklest's fresh fish! I asked if it was saw she me grade and he looked at me like I was an idiot! Said somethin' bout if you're gonna make catfish sue she I don't wanna hear 'bout it. Dinnit sell much last weekend. Mebbe try next time with starfish sue she. Why are they called starfish if they aint'nt fish? I asked one o' my customers ann they juss looked at me all funny. Not my week... gonna have to do another run with the paffinders ta pay rent. Not sure what rent is, but people always say that...
"That is a remarkable story. Well done, I am glad that students will be safe, there is no telling when the protean would start interfering in the school during classes." "Ummm... it prolly already was. Anyhow... looks like mosta the stuff was old spells fading ann the like... but some o' the problems definitely were cuz 'o the mal-strom stuff. Also, I think some of the students might be up ta some secret meetings. Dunno why though." He pulls out one of the cookies and offers it to J. "Hungry?" After the debrief is over, he considers Gnimish's offer. "Nah thanks. I think I'm gonna stick to the paffinderin' thing. Prolly just sell some noms on the street between calls. I'm not so keen on gettin' fired 'gain, and seems like this new gig will work out much better. Bein' a street cook is easy! No boss to fire you, and the fire brigade is so helpful!"
"Ummm.... so... I'm just a cook but..."
"So red dragons can't be burned, so if you have dragon meat and it's red, you should try to prepare it like they do in Galt... the uh... tar-tar style. Can use a scale as a scoop too. White dragons can't be frozen so if you get fresh white dragon meat you should use some salt to preserve it if you can't cook it right away..." A few minutes later of dragon-meat cuisine recommendations, he looks over the Azlanti homework.
"Wait... Azlantes eunt domus? People called Azlantes go to the house? That's supposed to say Azlanti go home?" He crosses it out and writes Azlanti ite domum then smiles to himself contentedly.
"Ooh are you hungry? Is your homework cooking homework? Where are you from? Found lotsa maelstrom stuff pokin' through in here... you from that side? Or seen any of it?" He notices the halfling's teeth then considers. "Your teef look kinda extra sharp. Are you a carnivore? Seems like it would be hard to chew nuts and seeds with teef like that... but maybe saw-she-me would be good?"
"Can I see your homework?"
"I'm not so good at baking... I got fired from a job once for setting the stone oven on fire... Although..." Gizzards eyes light up as he quickly begins searching. "Ooh ooh... get me some of that coffee and umm... eggs and sugar and cocoa... some of that creamy cheese... I think I can make somethin' with these cookies."
"What if it's a dragon? Dragons can fly... and have big claws... and some dragons are tricksters too. If it's in a dragon then we might be in lotsa trouble... Someone once said never metal in the fairs of dragons, cuz you're crunchy and taste good with catch up. Prolly should make sure that there is no dragon fair going on... and make sure everythin' is wood.
His eyes light up when Argoni mentions lunch. "Wait... food room? Ooh ooh let's go there! I'm hungry!"
"Ooh ooh fresh air sounds nice! It's stinky in here... with the thingy spewing guts and all..." He follows Salaish outside to inspect the statues. "So uh... think one o' em is gonna grab us or somethin nasty? Or turn out that one is just a guy painted silver?" He looks a bit nervous before he adds. "...they are all statues right? Just statues? Not like... golems... or gargoyles... or guys painted silver?" He approaches and checks the workmanship to see if any stand out.
"I dun think this is a thinking thing talkin' to us. It doesn't even really answer... it's like... voices of other people answering questions that someone else asked when they were here? Whadja all hear when you asked it stuff?" He compares notes and considers if this is intelligence or random factoids.
Gizzard takes a knee in the corner of the room and catches his breath. "Whass the name of the jaw bone?" he asks nobody in particular. He paces to the far side of the room and adds, "And whass the name of the finger bones?" Finally he paces to a third corner and says "And whass the name of the knee bone?" He pauses and returns to the center of the room then asks, "And whass the name of the butt bone?" On the final question he tries very hard to shut his mind off from intrusion.
Will Save:
Gizzard snaps his eyes open, back flat on the ground. "Boiled snails!? Have you heard of S. Cargo? Ya don't even need to boil em and it's all fancy like! Although 'parently you're not supposed to use slugs if you run out of snails... Got fired from a job for that..." He fishes for his blade then gets clear of danger for now.
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