Drow Dancer

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gran rey de los mono wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:

And one brother is bragging up his cheesecake which everyone knows (or at least they would if they listened to her) that cheesecake is the General's jam.

Of course you realize, this means war.

Your wife makes cheesecake jam?

that sounds delicious.


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NobodysHome wrote:

Every CEO in the world should be forced to read this.

In my first tech job, as our company was going under during the dot-bomb, our company spent half a million dollars designing a new logo. Because that would somehow fix everything.

Even worse, they were surprised when it didn't have any measurable effect.

CEOs and Marketing departments have a very...carnal...relationship. It gets ugly sometimes, especially as Marketing whispers the most salacious things to CEOs during the act.


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captain yesterday wrote:

Yup, I absolutely hate making characters for Pathfinder 2nd edition.

I love everything else, but man, making characters is a pain in the ass.

Trained this, expert in that, strike, strike, strike!!!

What the f@&% does it even mean!!!!!!

that the edition wars will never end.


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Woran wrote:
I know Freehold will appreciate the nakedness.

Yes.

Yes I will.


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Woran wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

The other quote was from a Netherlander that sounded so much like Woran that I might accuse her of posting it:

(1) Your small pizzas are our large pizzas
(2) Your medium pizzas are our family-size pizzas
(3) Your large pizzas would not fit within our borders

Your sides are our main course.

its comments like this that make me want to cook for you.


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NobodysHome wrote:
Drejk wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:
I have actively pissed face right now. My company is now not only telling me what hotel I have to stay in, but that I have to pay for it up front out of pocket until they reimburse me. Same thing with the car rental. I'm utterly shocked I'm not having to pay for the flight as well.

At that point you say, "I'm sorry, but with the pittance you pay me I live paycheck-to-paycheck, and with my poor credit history I don't have a card. So, since I cannot afford to loan you any money, I guess I can't go."

I'd be seriously pissed, too. Global Megacorporation has never once made me travel, but they handed me an American Express card with a $5000 preapproval that I just keep in a drawer, because it's easier to just give me one and not bother to track it than to try to manage individual expenses.

You have to travel, you put it on the AmEx, you sign in to our app and say, "Yeah, I spent that," your manager approves, and you're done.

It's not rocket science.

There are low rent fanfictions detailing what would happen if I was given one of those.
I have hilarious stories of epic abuse, but they would give away where I work...

Epic abuse?!

*listens patiently*

Even trying to be as generic as possible, the very first Google articles when I search saying anything about the incident brings up my company's name, so nope, not going there.

However, I *will* say that I spend a lot of time with sales guys, and they spend a LOT of money in strip clubs "entertaining" their clients on the corporate dime, and the bills can be in the thousands. Every company has those guys.

completes application

HAIL CORPORATE


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captain yesterday wrote:
They say they're a burger chain, but let me tell you from experience, weird s+%@ goes down after dark in the back of a fast food restaurant.

according to my sources, a lot of premarital/extramarital intimacy and weed.


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Just a Mort wrote:
Tell me what you do with it. I know my in laws place has a jar of peanut butter and I've had orders to clear the fridge. I can see their anchovies(for calcium) jumping into my cauliflower and brocoli mix and the dried shrimp going into various stir fries of turnips and cabbage. Also their dried scallop chilli sauce will serve my okra breakfast fine, as it will for my lunch cauliflower and brocolli mix.

What unholy blasphemy are you eating?!?


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Vanykrye wrote:
I have actively pissed face right now. My company is now not only telling me what hotel I have to stay in, but that I have to pay for it up front out of pocket until they reimburse me. Same thing with the car rental. I'm utterly shocked I'm not having to pay for the flight as well.

Been there before.

I'll never forget the look of defeat on my boss's face when they discovered I kept all my travel related receipts. They were banking on me to lose them.


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NobodysHome wrote:

One advantage of going to an office: GothBard has golden retriever puppies at work today.

that sounds messy.


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Vanykrye wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:
I have actively pissed face right now. My company is now not only telling me what hotel I have to stay in, but that I have to pay for it up front out of pocket until they reimburse me. Same thing with the car rental. I'm utterly shocked I'm not having to pay for the flight as well.

At that point you say, "I'm sorry, but with the pittance you pay me I live paycheck-to-paycheck, and with my poor credit history I don't have a card. So, since I cannot afford to loan you any money, I guess I can't go."

I'd be seriously pissed, too. Global Megacorporation has never once made me travel, but they handed me an American Express card with a $5000 preapproval that I just keep in a drawer, because it's easier to just give me one and not bother to track it than to try to manage individual expenses.

You have to travel, you put it on the AmEx, you sign in to our app and say, "Yeah, I spent that," your manager approves, and you're done.

It's not rocket science.

They turned me down for a corporate card. I don't rank highly enough to be allowed to have one, regardless of the fact that I travel more than anybody in IT aside from our CIO?

So instead I have to pay up front and expense it later. I will get the money back, but, like, in 2-3 weeks depending on where we are in the payroll cycle. They won't cut a separate check/direct deposit for reimbursements. They always tack it on to the regularly scheduled payroll.

you have got to be kidding me.


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NobodysHome wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:
I have actively pissed face right now. My company is now not only telling me what hotel I have to stay in, but that I have to pay for it up front out of pocket until they reimburse me. Same thing with the car rental. I'm utterly shocked I'm not having to pay for the flight as well.

At that point you say, "I'm sorry, but with the pittance you pay me I live paycheck-to-paycheck, and with my poor credit history I don't have a card. So, since I cannot afford to loan you any money, I guess I can't go."

I'd be seriously pissed, too. Global Megacorporation has never once made me travel, but they handed me an American Express card with a $5000 preapproval that I just keep in a drawer, because it's easier to just give me one and not bother to track it than to try to manage individual expenses.

You have to travel, you put it on the AmEx, you sign in to our app and say, "Yeah, I spent that," your manager approves, and you're done.

It's not rocket science.

There are low rent fanfictions detailing what would happen if I was given one of those.


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Scintillae wrote:
...they have decided to call their burger place "Thicc-Fil-A." The debate has turned to how many C's are required.

I will gladly advise them as to the appropriate number of Cs.


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Vanykrye wrote:
I'm not sure what I just did is even legal in Missouri.

that state is important to me for reasons.


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LordSynos wrote:
Drejk wrote:

*reads facebook*

Oh... Interesting development...

*pokes Lord Synos*

Congratulations!

Finally?

Thanks Drejk. :)

For those who aren't my friends on Facebook (everyone else but Limey? :P), I got married this past Monday. :)

It certainly feels like a finally. :P It's been a long time coming. :)

LORD SYNOS LORD SYNOS LORD SYNOS LORD SYNOS LORD SYNOS LORD SYNOS LORD SYNOS


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Feeling old school today.


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What a day.


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It takes practice, yes.


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AWRIGHT!

You mind your lungs now, y'hear?


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Holy s%*@.


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Vanykrye wrote:
That didn't work with mine. She was pregnant.

gonna have to driver her someplace else then.


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Scintillae wrote:

But yeah, I'm noticing a lot of shifting on the high school jobs prospects just from the area I work in. A lot of the kids only have summer jobs because they help with construction or lifeguarding. Other kids have to go clear into the city to find something because there just isn't much in this little town. Convenience store wants 18+ so you can sell tobacco products. Same with several of the restaurants that serve alcohol.

Shows I was spoiled for choice growing up in the 'burbs.

I encountered that too, but I also had more opportunities to work odd jobs.


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NobodysHome wrote:

I was *really* trying to let it go, but seriously?

EVERY job that I had to make money as a teen is no longer available to my kids:
- Paperboy
- Gardener
- Tutor
- Video store clerk

The jobs that are available (box store employee, fast food worker) either don't have hours condusive to being in school (try to work part time at McDonald's and tell the manager you can't work the lunch shift... ever...), or are so coveted that you need to know someone (the two kids I know who got school-friendly hours at the local Target both knew the local owner personally).

The whole, "Kids are too lazy to get jobs these days" is just such a stereotypical "OK Boomer" moment it really explains the entire meme.

Geez, even a simple babysitting job for my kids fell through because the parent was unwilling to work with them at all; she wanted me to arrange the times, manage things, be around, etc., because she didn't trust my kids to manage their own time. and watch the kid on their own.

So, er, if you don't trust my kids to plan their time or watch your kid on their own, why are you even pretending you're hiring them?

EDIT: It doesn't help at all that there are over 10,000 local U.C. Berkeley students trying to afford housing and tuition and willing to do anything high school kids can do, and employers, given the choice between a high schooler and a U.C. Berkeley student, have a no-brainer choice to make.

man. It's gotten bad.


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NobodysHome wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

So many cultural issues here, it is hard for me to speak up. I certainly stepped in it a few times growing up, and my cultural background was at odds against my teenage impulses. If I had a time machine and could be a teenager visiting your house, it would be weird for me to ask you for food, but also given that my mom didnt want me working as that was a direct insult to her, I might walk with my own food.

Which I learned was also insulting in other cultures...*sigh*


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Vanykrye wrote:

Oh...let me clarify. The "was" part. He *was* a general contractor. He officially retired about 3 decades ago. So no, he wasn't licensed at the time of his adventures into adding on to the original 1933 construction. He started the project around 2001, but didn't finish until 2013, just before we bought the house.

The only thing he was competent at was hiding his sins.

Wow.

Just...wow.


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NobodysHome wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:

Anybody got a spare $12k lying around so I can properly fix my furnace and AC situation? (No, I'm not seriously asking; we'll figure out a way to get it done and we're not in any danger of freezing to death.)

I've mentioned it before, but my house was constructed comically using technical standards as toilet paper. The previous owner was a general contractor and he was really good at making things look good on the surface while cutting severe corners underneath.

There are things that didn't turn up on the home inspector's report that should have, some things that did, and a lot of things that couldn't have without tearing down drywall to look at it.

LOL. At least YOUR previous homeowner was licensed.

As far as we have been able to determine from the atrocities revealed every time we open a wall, from the 1950s-1960s this house was owned by a "frugal handyman" who believed that scrap wood and big enough nails could solve any problem. Roof sagging? Nail some scrap 2"x4"s against the bending rafter. Termite damage? Figure out a way to nail on a 4"x12" without replacing the old one.

You gotta be kidding me.


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Woran wrote:
I'm glad the weather is dipping towards freezing

Woran, the things you say....


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NobodysHome wrote:
Rosita the Riveter wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

Impus Major is writing a literary analysis of A Modest Proposal.

It is now his favorite essay ever. He wants to read it aloud from the stage at the Dickens Faire.

I do not know that it would go all that well...

Would you recommend attending Dickens Faire?

That's a question very much in line with, "Would you recommend attending the Ren Faire?"

Because it's almost the same thing: A lot of vendors, actors, and actresses wandering around trying to re-create Victorian England while selling you foods and wares at 2-3x the price you'd find the same stuff on Etsy.

I *do* prefer the Dickens Faire to the Ren Faire because:
(1) It's in "winter", so it's colder and you can actually wear a costume without dying of heat stroke.
(2) It's nowhere near as overrun with disruptive visitors; the Ren Faire took the approach of, "We need more money, so let's mass market this!" and so it feels much more like a theme park: Thousands of tourists who care nothing whatsoever for the ambience of the place nor their fellow visitor, so they make the whole visit unpleasant for all. The Dickens Faire is still primarily populated by people who actually respect the cast members and the ambience, so it "feels" more welcoming.
(3) It's significantly smaller and easier to get around.
(4) It's indoors.

On the other hand, Freehold would bemoan the distinct lack of cleavage.

But yeah, "Indoor Ren Faire with a Victorian theme" is about it.

(And I am always irritated that Autumn runs from September 23-December 21, so all of our traditional "winter" stuff actually takes place in Autumn. That's what we get for having no seasons.)

puts on stealth suit, turns up thermostat quietly


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captain yesterday wrote:
Tiny T-Rex (after showing off his mad duck calling skillz): I feel like I'm THIS close to understanding duck. I just need a translation sheet!

ROTFL


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Sharoth wrote:
lisamarlene wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:

So, it turns out if you do a search for Nine Inch Nails and The Muppets in the same day on YouTube you get some pretty f%*!ed up videos, which only leads you to more f$#%ed up videos and the next thing you know you're watching True Facts about the Sea Pig.

This is why I'm not allowed on YouTube.

Sort of like the game where you pick absolutely any random page on Wikipedia, and within six clicks, you can get to Bestiality.
It is called interspecies erotica! Please get it correct next time.

FIFY


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Vanykrye wrote:
Heh. They had a Veterans Day Parade in downtown Peoria. Wind is blowing. Snow is coming down. Roads are slick. Local high school marching bands are out there, trying to stay on their feet as the wind picks up and takes the tuba players 6-8 feet out of position...and the poor kids with the bass drums...like giant rudders on a small boat...

LOW BRASS FOREVER


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NobodysHome wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:

Also as an aside, speaking of bad players as we were earlier, there is an anime on Hulu that lampoons EXACTLY what one of the worst players I have ever encountered is like. Its called the hero is overpowered and cautious, I think.

It's funny. Check it out.

I didn't know you'd played with WW...

show it to him! It might be interesting to see his reactions!


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Tequila Sunrise wrote:

Mrs Sunrise came to visit me today, and we walked up to the roof of the new hospital building, which is 17 floors. Well there is no 13th floor (don't think I've ever actually seen that before IRL), so it's actually 16 floors. And ground level is already floor 1, so technically we only climbed 15 flights.

But for a guy with pseudomonis and two strains of MRSA in the lungs, I'd say 15 flights is pretty dam good. :)

that is good.

Keep healing.


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captain yesterday wrote:
Rosita the Riveter wrote:
Well, the East Coast to Texas is gonna get a cold front, but I'll be back in California. Where the fire season is gonna last into December this year.
We're getting 1-3 inches of snow tomorrow, I already have my 4 AM start time.

holds up the pen, shouts to the heavens


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captain yesterday wrote:
Fall? That was three weeks ago, nope, now we're on to winter!

fans self


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It's based in the old Player vs DM mentality, imo. The DM is a foe that must be defeated at every turn. Players that don't buy into this mindset are suckers, and will be killed by the DM at the first opportunity, so they must be saved from/sacrificed to the DM.


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Also as an aside, speaking of bad players as we were earlier, there is an anime on Hulu that lampoons EXACTLY what one of the worst players I have ever encountered is like. Its called the hero is overpowered and cautious, I think.

It's funny. Check it out.


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lisamarlene wrote:
Okay, I know this is stupid, but I'm going to ask anyway.

No such thing.

Quote:
The "Just the Underwater Bits" Ruins of Azlant campaign I've been running for the kids and WW is, in essence, a Saturday morning cartoon version of a campaign.

That is cute, wonderful and adorable, as I miss mu Saturday morning cartoons. It was the only time the TV was truly mine growing up- and even then I had to practice writing out of the dictionary before I could turn it on.

Quote:
(In the Selkie's land form, instead of an attractive human female, it's a male dwarf.)

...I thought you said it was a Saturday morning cartoon...? Did we watch different cartoons growing up?

Quote:

But she has an animal companion, Fluffy, who is a giant Dire Lobster, and she has a special saddle for riding Fluffy sidesaddle and has put a lot of skill ranks into combat riding and animal handling. (Lobsters IRL have an AMAZING expeditious retreat.)

Lobsters IRL can walk on land for brief periods and can breathe on land as long as their gills are kept moist and cool.

Is it too much to say that Hermione's character just rides Fluffy on land at half-movement? Or would it be better to just give her temporary flight? I'm worried about the nagas killing Fluffy.

Just say that Fluffy has incredibly hard scales and super high AC. Nothing short of a dinosaur can kill Fluffy.


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Kiki's Delivery Service has a special place in my heart as it was my first AMV.

The song was Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic, which is another song that is important to me.


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Quiet.


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Limeylongears wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
Palladium Books wrote the book on power creep, several of them, in fact.

'MEGA-DAMAGE!'

Sorry, 'MEGA-DAMAGE!!!'

Sorry, 'MMMMEGA-DAMAAAAGE!!!! WOOOOAAH YEEAAAAAHHHH!!!!'

ah, the memories...


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lisamarlene wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
lisamarlene wrote:

Parenting fail:

Did you know that the Director's Cut of "Little Shop of Horrors" ends with Audrey and Seymour both getting eaten by the plant, and the Earth being overrun by gigantic Audrey II's, just like the stage show?

Yeah, I didn't either, until it turns out that's the version we downloaded for family movie night tonight.

I had to search for the original theatrical ending on YouTube to show the kids, because we'd been reassuring them all through the movie, every time they asked, "But Audrey and Seymour both live, right? The plant doesn't eat them?"

Whoops.

** spoiler omitted **...

LMAO. Happy to help with your sanity check!

I've actually had that same experience in the past with a certain Kelly LeBrock television commercial. The original version I remember was, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful; I used to look just like you."
Then it got changed to "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful; my hair used to have a mind of its own."

Everyone I've mentioned it to swears my inner critic fabricated this.

I *think* that particular phrase went through a LOT of reworking at one point in time, and I believe there were some regional ads that only got played in one part of the country or another. There are several versions of the commercial on YouTube.

Quote:

But I do have one question: how can Audrey II be blackface when the character was voiced by one of Motown's greatest?

Opinions on blackface vary wildly throughout generations in the various flavors of African community. My mom found it offensive, as did I, but my grandmother just noted it. If it helps, I didnt find Audrey II HALF as offensive as I found the rapping Zoanoid in the live action Guyver movie that I will not discuss with anyone, Mark Hamill how could you do this to me I am glad we found footage of you singing in German to make up for that nonsense.


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Orthos wrote:
TriOmegaZero wrote:

My team is not. We have wildly varying skill sets at building characters. The ones who can’t tone it down don’t last.

Of course, for all the OP my one player has, the dice usually tell him no. He does best with characters that force the enemies to roll the dice instead of him.

Yeah we used to have one guy like that.

because of behavior like this I had to institute a lot of house rules.


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captain yesterday wrote:
Palladium Books wrote the book on power creep, several of them, in fact.

the memories...


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Okay...I realize nudity kinda plays into the "he was crazy all along" motif, but...thread rules are thread rules.


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lisamarlene wrote:

Parenting fail:

Did you know that the Director's Cut of "Little Shop of Horrors" ends with Audrey and Seymour both getting eaten by the plant, and the Earth being overrun by gigantic Audrey II's, just like the stage show?

Yeah, I didn't either, until it turns out that's the version we downloaded for family movie night tonight.

I had to search for the original theatrical ending on YouTube to show the kids, because we'd been reassuring them all through the movie, every time they asked, "But Audrey and Seymour both live, right? The plant doesn't eat them?"

Whoops.

Spoiler:
A long, long time ago, in a city(and it is a city. Not a borough. No.) far, far away, long before the internet ever existed, there was a tv station that catered to movie buffs without cable, which was very, very expensive in that time and place.

They were famed for showing all sorts of movies, good and bad, with a slight penchant towards artistic fare. As they were a big fish in a small pond with no real competition beyond cable tv, they got lazy after a while, and started showing the same movies over and over again. You could set your watch by it, or maybe it would be better to say you could set your calendar by it. Movies came on the same day near abouts every year.

Everyone watched this movie channel when I was growing up. After all, video games were a new(ish) and expensive hobby that clearly weren't going to go anywhere at all, and mom thought they were going to cook my brain and would rather I watch movies instead. So weekends were spent at grandma's house, watching movies on Sunday afternoon provided sportsball wasn't on.

One of those movies was Little Shop Of Horrors.

I was familiar with the movie, having seen it roughly one bajillion times. Mom wasnt crazy about it because she thought Audrey II was a clear case of blackface, but even she liked the music and she was a HUGE Steve Martin fan. Who knew someone so funny could sing?! And that guy from Ghostbusters, who was clearly going on to great things. Man, I couldn't wait for Ghostbusters 2. That movie was gonna be AWESOME! Besides, who wouldn't want to feed their enemies to a giant talking plant? That would certainly show everyone- especially Everett for calling me a nerd who couldn't throw a ball and picking me last in gym that day and cracking me in the face "by accident". Let's see you laugh at me when you're being digested! NOW WHO'S LAUGHING? ME AND MY TALKING/SINGING PLANT, THAT'S WHO!

So one Sunday afternoon, I was actually looking forward to seeing the movie.

Except it wasnt the movie I remembered.

Cleveland got eaten, right in front of my eyes. Some moron drove a train directly into the mouth of one them, and I remember trying to figure out what train line that was(drove mom nuts as I kept going over the routes of all known trains, none of the ones I knew seemed to go over an unprotected bridge like that). And there were Audrey IIs eating Manhattan, or at least feeling up the Statue of Liberty. None of this was happening in Brooklyn, of course, we are far too Brooklyn to succumb to a bunch of singing cabbages, but still, a neighboring settlement was taken out by Audrey IIs. And what was the deal with "The End?" Were they not sure? Was there going to be a sequel, like Attack of the Killer Tomatoes? And why was the army attacking with machine guns when the plants were clearly bulletproof? Why didnt anyone think to use a sword? Or ar least a really, really big gun. Was Optimus Prime off planet or something?

So many questions.

But when I brought it up to others, asking if they had saw the movie and what their thoughts were, I was met with disbelief. Didn't I know that movie had a happy ending? No armies, just an exploding Audrey II and a wedding and an infant Audrey III planning her obvious revenge(didnt the love addled fools think to look DOWN?!) I was laughed off, told to disbelieve my lying eyes, and my questions were seen as the fevered ramblings of a weirdo who watched Star Wars one too many times. I was so confused- I know what I saw. Well, it's not like I would never see the movie again- it would be on again next year! THEN they would see. They'd ALL see. I wasn't crazy. What was my problem with man, you ask? No. I ask you what was man's problem with me.

But next year the movie ended happily. Electrocution, muted/ censored curses, happy wedding, baby planning vengeance. And it did so again the next year. I'm not sure about the year after that because that was the year I moved to Pennsylvania and I was distracted by video games(which I could play in MY OWN ROOM BECAUSE I HAD A NINTENDO LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AND A COLOR TV AND MY OWN VCR THAT I COULD PROGRAM AND GET CABLE TV ON MY TWO AUX CHANNELS HOLY S$+%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and girls, who, while always fascinating, became interesting on a level that made movie conspiracy theories pale in comparison. Maybe I made the whole thing up, or misremembered it. Maybe I really was crazy, like they said.

Until today, when I have proof on the internet, that most holy and sacred source of gospel truth, that SOMEONE ELSE HAS SEEN THE VERSION OF THIS MOVIE THAT HAUNTED MY DREAMS FOR 30 YEARS. THANK YOU LISAMARLENE FOR PROVIDING VINDICATION!


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gran rey de los mono wrote:

The first four Harry Potter books are quite light-hearted. The fifth one, however, is dead Sirius.

(I haven't read them, so I don't know how accurate this is.)

wise.


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makes sweet love to pen


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Hungry.


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Woran wrote:

*sees the posting stop at 50 posts a page again*

*sigh*

I'll take one for the team again.

dont you mean take one off for the team?

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