Freehold DM's page

Today begins The Void's daily commute to Cal State East Bay. The tension in the air is palpable. And I can't wait to get that first "ding" that says, "This car isn't new any more, so we don't have to worry about scuffing it up."

Won't do it intentionally, but it'll be a relief when it appears.

On the other hand, after spending a staggering sum to restore the Celica the family has kept it near-pristine, with the only blemish a spot of chipped paint from where Impus Major backed it into the garage door with some force, so maybe all my drivers are mature and careful enough to keep The Void intact.

Time will tell...

Dearest Father, I am quite mature for my age, and I would be all too happy to chauffeur you or My Dear Lady Mother to wherever you wish to go!!!

I swear, as Mephisto gets older he's going to be the easiest-to-medicate cat in history.

"What's that? You're getting out the pills for grandma? Can I have some? Oh, no need to grind them up. I love the bitter crunchiness."
"What's that? You're giving grandma prescription hydration formula to help with her kidneys? Can I have some? Om nom nom prescription liquids..."

If I'm feeding it to Nefret, he MUST eat it. No matter what.

That's my boy!

Drejk wrote:

So my Dad had his peacemaker replaced earlier this year, and apparently he feels better now, being able to go up the stairs (one floor above the ground level) with less hassle than before.

I'm assuming you meant pacemaker, which is an easy typo (or autocorrect) to make, but it did make me initially wonder how your Dad found it easier to go up stairs now that he has a new 1873 Colt single-action revolver. Are you sure he isn't American?

I just thought he had John Cena placed into his chest.

Well, it looks like it's the end of an era. When the shop said that "all" that was wrong with the Prius was a broken water pump, a worn drive belt, and a filthy intake filter I had some hope that they'd be able to fix it, though the symptoms seemed a lot worse than some worn-out parts.

Sure enough, yesterday the new water pump came in, the mechanic replaced it and the drive belt, turned on the engine and immediately thought, "Oooh... that's not good."

The engine is making not one but TWO weird noises that had been drowned out by the water pump. Ever-cynical Shiro thinks they intentionally missed the noises in order to drag me into repairing whatever was wrong. I've been with this shop for nearly 20 years and they haven't pulled that kind of stunt ever, so I prefer to believe the cover story for the moment.

But sounds from inside the engine typically mean a rebuild, and around here that's a $4,000-$5,000 job. Considering the hybrid battery is 10 years old already, it just doesn't seem worth it to try to keep the Prius running any more.

We'll know more later today, but looks like we'll need to buy that new Honda sooner than expected, and Talky won't be getting a car after all...

Because *I'm* getting it, right, Dearest Father?

....Right?

Im waiting for "WOW! What an amazing experience buying a car!" myself...

Freehold DM wrote:

Im waiting for "WOW! What an amazing experience buying a car!" myself...

Nope. Pretty much the standard, "What can I do to make you buy a car today?" experience, but he tried to be more polite and laid-back about it because California.

So he wanted me to commit to buying a car ASAP, he was mid-level pressure, but then we found out Talky doesn't have a driver's license yet so we're a month away from getting rid of the Prius.

I texted the guy a very nice message that we wouldn't be ready for a month. I'm sure he's used to it.

EDIT: In other words, it was mildly annoying, but because I knew I wasn't going to commit to anything today anyway, it was easy enough to walk away. THEN we learned that Talky doesn't have a driver's license yet, so surprising him with a car wasn't our best-thought-out idea ever.

But Dearest Father, I have a drivers license! And I can go the supermarket to pick up all manner of dry goods to give you extra time to recharge your flagging energy stores AND motivate neighborhood mothers by lounging shirtless upon the front porch, reflecting Apollo's gift of light upon passersby as it listens off your doubtless perfectly sculpted chest even as one of my brothers fans you with a two-handed palm frond!

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Sorry, Freehold, but according to the headline of the clickbait article I just saw, you are no longer NYC's cutest resident. Apparently some woodcocks (ha, nice) have taken up residence in one of the parks, and they have one-upped you. Maybe you'll retake the crown if they leave.

I can lend you a ladder.

Thank you, this will aid in my absconding abilities.

Sorry, Freehold, but according to the headline of the clickbait article I just saw, you are no longer NYC's cutest resident. Apparently some woodcocks (ha, nice) have taken up residence in one of the parks, and they have one-upped you. Maybe you'll retake the crown if they leave.

Damn those woody cocks!

(I hesitate to combine the words "meat" and "mouthfeel" when both Freehold and Vany are lurking nearby.)

feels urge to lurk in a southwesterly direction

Okay. Back to automatic. That went well, I think.

Interview today.

Am on manual mode until afterwards.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

I heard about the no park hopping and increased alcohol intake (which to my knowledge was always there just well hidden). Still, being locked in to a park and people getting drunker doesnt sound quite as fun.

Wayne Schlegel wrote:

pets stress-reducing raspberry-filled jelly donut.

Kinkyyyy.

stands in shoes

Look at me! Im standing in Healy Lamarr's shoes!

Freehold DM wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

I have an interview with the hospital i was born at on Tuesday.

I was the smallest premature baby there for a long time. I will be bringing this up in the interview.

Make sure to mention that you got larger.

"Fun fact, I held the record for smallest premie born here for quite some time."
"Really? That is interesting."
"Yeah. I got bigger."

I am gonna use that!!!!

Great. Now let's discuss the licensing fee. I'm thinking $20 if you don't get the job, but 5% of all income in perpetuity if you do get the job. 5% of the gross, of course. And I do mean all income. Even if it's from a different job. After all, if my joke lands you this job, and then this job gets you another one, you wouldn't have that job without my joke, so I would deserve compensation.

I'll have my lawyers draw up a contract. No need to read it, just sign.

Yes, I'm sure that blood is the norm for signing contracts.

Throw in room parties catered and attended by you whenever I want and Ill sign.

Never gonna happen.

And put some clothes on, this is a hospital.

NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have an interview with the hospital i was born at on Tuesday.

I was the smallest premature baby there for a long time. I will be bringing this up in the interview.

It's been a while since this has happened, but I just got cursed at by someone because I "wouldn't honor their reservation." Why not? Well, A) we're sold out, B) it's for Wednesday night, and C) it's for a hotel 40 miles away.

But I'm the bad guy.

You are the bad guy! You won't let me have my room party!!!

....where did all these extra people come from? Its almost as if they are more visible today...

captain yesterday wrote:

I mean running away from the US is going to help, I think this administration has made it pretty clear nowhere is safe from them, so why run away when you can fight them?

Fear is why.

To each their own, but I'm not going to run or hide.

Enjoy the fact that you have the privilege of being able to do so. Not everyone is so lucky. For some escape is the only option that doesn't likely lead to death or worse.

There are those who don't have the privilege of being able to choose and must stand and fight, but that's not the same as choosing to.

** spoiler omitted **

Day 1 of the supposed layoffs and things are suspiciously quiet -- no goodbye messages, no suddenly-missing team members, no mysterious meetings appearing on my calendar...

...on the one hand, you want to think, "Wow! I've never seen layoff rumors be so wrong before!"...

...on the other hand, I've never seen layoff rumors be wrong before, and we've got just under 35 hours to go in the supposed "purge period".

Gee... seems like you could make some kind of dystopian horror movie from that idea...

EDIT: And yep, with lack of any better way to stay informed I've gone into "spy mode": My manager has unexpected meetings at both 7:30 am and 1:00 pm. So I'll just ping her after each meeting to make sure she's still around. (She's the one where her manager let slip that she may be going in this round.)

wishing her- and you- nothing but the best.

Speaking of state differences, while I typically detest New Yorkers' entire, "I'm walkin' here!" attitude,

...what did you just say?

New Yorkers win this one.

That's what I thought you said...

I mean running away from the US is going to help, I think this administration has made it pretty clear nowhere is safe from them, so why run away when you can fight them?

Fear is why.

To each their own, but I'm not going to run or hide.

I drive through the a~!+*!#'s original neighborhood with regularity, it is 10 minutes away from my house by car.

I will not let him, or anyone, make me leave my home in any way beyond feet first.

captain yesterday wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

Woooow...

Just tanked up the Celica with regular unleaded, and it's a new record for us: $6.399/gallon. It's starting to remotely resemble European prices! (I'm pretty sure $1.39/liter would still be a bargain in the U.K., but Limey can confirm or deny this.)

EDIT: DuckDuckGo says that right now it's $1.99/liter, but I'd rather trust a human. Go figure.

We're at 3.69/gallon.

Sure you don't want to move? We have tech companies! And cookies.

And it's Madison, so a lot safer then the bay area and also EXTREMELY liberal.

** spoiler omitted **

What do you call it when a banana eats another banana?

Cannibananabalism.

so, when an 80s banana band does it, is it Cannibananaramabalism?

We had cliques but they were weird. My high school had no sports teams whatsoever but our chess team is(still) undefeated, and we have amazing theater and a world famous anime club.

I wonder who started it.

There is something terrifying about Lenore.

Morrigan: "I know you're stupid, so I'm going to meep at you to get your attention, lead you carefully to what I want, checking behind me frequently to make sure you're following, and then I'll take your hand in my paw and guide it to what I'm after." She knows what doorknobs are, and she knows we can manipulate them, and she just assumes that we're too stupid to understand that we need to open doors for her.

Mephisto: "I'm going to do whatever I want and go wherever I want and if anything gets in my way it will be a battle of strength between us." He has done battle with people, bushes, cinderblocks, chairs, and anything else. And he doesn't care whether he wins or loses; if he loses the battle of strength he (metaphorically) shrugs and looks for the next thing he wants to do.

Lenore: Just lies there and gazes at you with big eyes.

And of course everyone loves Lenore the most. And yet all she (visibly) does is sit there and stare at you. Go figure.
(Considering the vast sea of Kleenex we find strewn about the house every morning, she is very busy at night.)

Don't worry, Mephisto. *I* love you.

Holy s#~%, Chuck Norris died!

Orthos wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

Getting dressed on St. Patrick's Day always reminds me how much I loathed this holiday as a kid.

My Depression-era parents gave me nothing but hand-me-downs from my older brother, and they preferred to buy darker shades to hide the dirt to reduce washing. Plus 1970s. Clothing with any trace of green on it was hard to come by. Plus, even as a shy child who could never self-advocate, I was a non-conformist. Why the h*** do I have to wear green just because everyone else does?

So I got pinched. A lot. So I hated St. Patrick's Day.

This reminds me of my own hatred for April 1st.

I don't enjoy pranks. I don't enjoy performing them, and I don't enjoy being subjected to them.

I'm sure there's some flavor of neurospiciness involved that results in or exacerbates my distaste for what is, essentially, an entire day dedicated to a disruption of the daily schedule by a series of what are usually poorly-performed jokes, small-scale lies, and annoying mini-assaults.

Of course, having two younger siblings meant that my disdain for the day made me an easy target, and my parents were not particularly sympathetic to my irritation, so that also contributed and essentially created a feedback loop of dislike.

Needless to say I do not bemoan the complete lack of April Fools' involvement in my life as an adult.

I enjoyed April Fool's for a small number of years when I was in incredible shape and my brother was still living with us, so I'd do things like move a heavy bookcase in front of his door so he couldn't get out of his room. He was too clever for us naughty people (he used his window for the day), so I gave up. The kids wanted to do April Fool's Day, but once you have kids you don't have time for that kind of nonsense.

Dearest Father, I would like to take this time to display my personal record of ABSOLUTELY NO PRANKS pulled on you this entire time! I, your loving son, know you have no time for such tomfoolery!!!!

Green is my favorite color.

BigNorseWolf wrote:

Freehold have you heard the good news? Firefly is coming back!

If you had sensed something like alderan exploding again it was probably that...

Big Norse Wolf gets cookies.

Cookies with rake icing on them, please.

Freehold have you heard the good news? Firefly is coming back!

If you had sensed something like alderan exploding again it was probably that...

...

Whedon. My old arch enemy.

Fantasy Monster: Giant Clockwork Rooster

Smack a vampire with a giant cock...

..then again...

I am just waking up from a dream in which the Paizo.com messageboards were aflame due to someone(I'm not sure who) discovering that I had a torrid affair going on with Treppa. The world went mad at the revelation of this news, and I became a pariah overnight, as it somehow was decided that I seduced her somehow? There were entire topics dedicated to this and how much of a lothario I was, although your friend and mine Celestial Healer, made a lengthy post about how he was still, and would always be, my friend. I made a post that sorta kinda explained things, maybe? I know I said something about leaving Treppa alone, and that it was okay to be mad at me but that she was blameless. But I am not sure what the details of that post were because it was decided that I needed to go into exile. I got onto a double decker Greyhound bus that had a VERY long line, and eventually I paid for my ticket. I tried to get a seat at the bottom level, but there were already people going upstairs because it was full, and so, upstairs I went. But this is where things get stranger- apparently upstairs was all private rooms with double beds and mini fridges. I start to set up my room when some...imp of some kind? starts playing pranks on me, claiming to be my roommate, and blowing balloons up everywhere and popping them for fun. This is beyond irritating, and so I go into the mini fridge to get refreshments. It turns out its full of old mexi-cokes and other sodas, and both I and the imp get excited by this, and we cease hostilities to enjoy rare sodas. We discover that the sodas not only have been already opened, but have been filled with water, some of which was drank already. At this point the imp and I look at each other infuriated. What kind of monster DOES this?

Then I woke up.

Cyz has an anonymous survey for her course this semester if anyone doesn’t mind helping out. Link.

Did it. A very insightful questionnaire on a frustrating day at work.

Kind of a stupid post, since anyone who's a fan will have already seen it, but saw Demon Slayer: Infinity Castle last night. If you're a fan, go see it. If you aren't, become one. It's good.

I think you can guess my favorite character.

So, I've always had a serious issue with names. As I tell people, "Tell me your name and I won't be able to repeat it back to you. Tell me your phone number it and I'll still remember it in 2 years for reasons I cannot fathom."

Our senior director, who would be in charge of layoffs, is a woman with a first name starting with C. At 9:45 this morning I got a ping out of the blue from a woman with a first name starting with C asking if we could talk.

I now know that my adrenal gland still works.

And of course no, it was a curriculum developer from another department asking for some of my work on an AI project from a few months ago.

But, "Can we talk?" is a horrible way to start any conversation.

Dearest Father, I hope you remember MY name at least!

Wow... just how badly has Microsoft eroded user trust? Impus Minor switched entirely to Linux. The moment Windows 11 wouldn't let Impus Major proceed without running an update, he's backporting his machine to Windows 10.

Way to go, Microsoft!

EDIT: OMG. The event that precipitated this was that Impus Major's trackpad stopped working. Impus Minor booted into BIOS... and the trackpad works just fine. Windows 11 literally just decided to stop allowing Impus Major's trackpad.

EDIT 2: And yes, we tried the usual -- rebooting, re-installing the driver, etc. Then gave up and took the laptop apart and everything looked fine so we reassembled and... Windows 11 issue.

I have not updated to Windows 11. I do not trust it to not completely screw up my computer, my games, and my data/files.

I will never, ever forget the various tech people I knew kinda just shrugging when xp/7/me(?) was causing me no small amount of grief and I lost some really important files. A very real "thats windows, baby" mindset.

Miz Daisy, my mother-in-law, is going in for hand surgery tomorrow.

Sunday afternoon she was walking over to a neighbor's house to go visiting, tripped over a crack in the sidewalk, and took a bad fall. Someone called my husband on her cellphone as the paramedics were attending to her to come over. She *only* broke a cheekbone and three fingers, not a hip or anything (at 87, it could have been SOOOOO much worse), but she's black and blue all over and looks like she lost an Oklahoma bar fight.

Jesus. I hope she heals swiftly.

Yeah, this is exactly the kind of (lack of) work ethic that enrages me:

VP (On our working group's Slack channel) Where's the link to our file share?
(NobodysHome finds the link, copies it, and returns to the Slack channel. There's already a response.)
Working Group Lead: It's at the top of this channel.

Consider this response: She took the time to respond, but couldn't be bothered to actually copy the link. It was lazy. It was also dismissive. "Well, if YOU can't be bothered to just check the top of the channel, it's obviously YOUR problem."

It was also wrong. There was no link at the top of the channel. In fact, the link was about two-thirds of the way down through a pages-long conversation.

So, unhelpful, dismissive, and wrong.

And I fundamentally don't understand why someone would be so lazy as to reply in such a manner. If you don't want to do any checks at all, then why did you take the time to respond at all? You could've remained silent and I would have provided a more helpful, accurate answer.

Such events frustrate me.

Im beginning to think Slack is not particularly good for communication at work.

Drejk wrote:

Wait, how did Freehold managed to squish himself into Nobodys's mail box?!

Now there is no place for my kobolds! How are they supposed to get their paws on the...

Oh...

Dammit Freehold!

Since we don't have a mailbox, I now imagine finding Freehold squatting in my foyer, gazing eagerly at my mail slot.

NobodysHome: Who the hell are you, and what are you doing here?
Freehold: Oh, Dearest Father, it is I, Freehold! And I patiently await the coming of your mail that I may sort it for you, saving you the tedious effort and the danger of marring your dove-soft hands!
NH: Get out.

FIFY

NobodysHome wrote:

Drejk wrote:

Wait, how did Freehold managed to squish himself into Nobodys's mail box?!

Now there is no place for my kobolds! How are they supposed to get their paws on the...

Oh...

Dammit Freehold!

Since we don't have a mailbox, I now imagine finding Freehold squatting in my foyer, gazing eagerly at my mail slot.

NobodysHome: Who the hell are you, and what are you doing here?
Freehold: Oh, Dearest Father, it is I, Freehold! And I patiently await the coming of your mail that I may sort it for you, saving you the tedious effort and the danger of marring your dove-soft hands!
NH: Get out.

And now I imagine Freehold meowing in response and pretending to be Mephisto.

Only if Mephisto has to wear human clothes and go to work for me.

I KNOW everyone will love him more than they love me.

His Freehold moment.

There is 100% less jumping into GothBard's chest after a shower than I expected for a Freehold moment.

This is not me being Freehold-y actually, it is what my beloved, lost, cat used to do EVERY TIME I GOT OUT OF THE SHOWER. Just sat on my chest leaving a wet, shedding mess behind. Made me late for work multiple times.

Miss her.

NobodysHome wrote:

So yeah, this morning I slept in quite a bit (didn't get up 'til 4:47, which is ridiculously late for me) and came out to the kitchen to feed the kittens. A too-white ragamuffin was face-down in the kitten food. Sure enough, Nefret was happily chowing down on all the leftovers, in spite of the fact that she really shouldn't be able to; she's been on a semi-liquid diet for months.

Ah, well, she's 94 in human years. She gets to do whatever the h*** she wants in her remaining time. But I'm happy she's gaining weight, and I don't mind finding her in the kittens' food.

And now you owe Mephisto an apology... He's not stealing Nefret's food, he is getting just compensation for his leftovers being sneakily devoured by the Ancient One!

*sigh* unfairly blamed for the crimes of others, he really is furry me.

OK, I'll admit it: Mild colds are the boon of employees with paid sick days.

Thanks to everything that's happening at Global Megacorporation, we're all feeling rather demotivated. After 3 meetings this morning I had a bit of a headache. But I was also too warm. And had a scratchy throat. So I took my temperature and I'm floating at 99.4°F. I'm not feeling terrible and so I could work, but motivation is lacking. So I'm sitting here hoping my temp pops up a little more so I feel justified in taking the rest of the day off.

Considering we get 9 days a year and I've taken 0 so far, I've got plenty in the tank. But my Lawful nature requires me to actually be sick enough (either mentally or physically) that I really need the day off, and right now I'm on the border in both cases.

We'll see how I feel come lunchtime...

Please NH.

Take the day.

You will feel SO much better if you do.

Wow, they're not even being subtle about it this time around. I just got invited to an unheard-of CEO all-hands on the morning of March 11. Typically CEOs only deign to hold all-hands after massive shakeups, so I'm guessing March 10 is my (possible) expiration date.

It's very much like my first layoff -- I'm top-rated in my department, I'm well-regarded both within and outside of the division, but there's a decent possibility that they're going to cut all of documentation and training in the belief that AI can take it all over, and if they cut the entire division there's not much I can do.

My guess is that they cut a huge percentage of us (50%+) and tell the rest of us to use AI to generate the content our missing co-workers would have produced.

Time will tell...

Im praying that isnt the case.

ITS STILL SNOWIIIIIIIIING

(Will not devolve into a Boomer rant. Will not devolve into a Boomer rant. Will not devolve into a Boomer rant... but I will share a quick anecdote...

Okay, he won't devolve into a Boomer rant, good.

** Polite Boomer Rant**

NOOOOOOOOOO

Freehold DM wrote:

Ah, the 80s. I love the 80s.

Ms. Pacman struck a blow for women's rights, a young Joe Piscopo taught us how to laugh...

How...did you know I JUST saw that episode last night?

No mojo pork today either. Tonight was a boxed mix of creamy blackened chicken & rice. Instead of cutting the browned chicken into strips, I split the breasts into quarters, dry-brined them for an hour, grilled them, and then added back into the simmering rice for the last 10 minutes. In making the rice, I replaced half the water with chicken ramen broth. Dad won't eat the rice, so I baked him a potato. Dessert is an apple pie I baked earlier.

It came out pretty good. I was worried the rice might end up too salty from the ramen broth,vbut it was just right.

Tomorrow's dinner? Who knows.

Please leave it on the windowsill to cool.

I have a very, very long fishing pole I would like to try out.

Freehold, have you heard they are making a new Castlevania game?

And the guys behind Dead Cells are advising...

I am interested, yes.