Douglas Smith 33's page

Best and congrats and getting my vote!

I salute Charles Evans 25's strong technical statements, but I still have to say that this is the best entry of all, and that this is the most consistent writer through every round, and I am certainly voting for it.

Ancientsensei said "I think retorts like Lich-loved's should be saved for idiotic responses (like the guy who panned an entry because it wasn't scientifically accurate enough about depressed people - how depressing!)."

I am that idiot!

But back on topic, as soon as I saw the map, I thought, cool! As I read on, and saw the weight thing, I knew it would be an approximation for my group. Actually, I'd just tip the boat whenever it added drama to the combat.

The suggested PC workaround of tipping the boat and waiting ofr the goblins to come out is genius. Reward the players for comingup with that.

For having a flaw or two, I put this up there with Monkey Goblins Attack.

This is definitely your best writing yet. And yet, I sort of have to agree with Darkjoy. At the end, I was left going,...okay, so they killed the cursed guy, took all the books, and so now what? As a piece of a bigger picture I am sure this works fine, I'm just going to have to read the last two before deciding on this one.

And then, "Monkey Goblins ATTACK Again!" Look out heroes, these aren't your run of the mill goblins. I like it, and think this will have the heroes looking up in the trees for the rest of the adventure.

I thought this was pretty good, and with the context explained outside the encounter, can work. The hag and zombies were a surprise, and their link to the barghest and dragon could have been made clearer. My only knock. I like the idea of a wintry encounter with a white dragon and getting PCs into icy, instead of hot, water.

I think Erik hit it when he said that is a fight, not an encounter. That being said, I don't think it's a bad fight. My concern running it would be tracking the timing of deaths, corrosive atmosphere, etc. and trying to convey a sense of urgency to the PCs that they may be totally unaware of. I see it as sort of a bridge between wrapping up one series of adventures and preceding another wherein the players delve into how and why Hadina was able to do all that plane shifting and what it means to the campaign.

I see a logic flaw in here I can ride a brontosaurus through. Darkblight appears in forest. Druids or rangers or scouts take notice. Local forces organize. More force is brought to bear if necessary. Darkblight is destroyed. Darkblight is never seen again.

It can make a good adventure, but as a darkblight is tied to a forest, and the forest is not infinite, and most likely does not span the continent, it can’t spread. The three creatures have a finite span they can affect, and once removed, are gone.

This is a No. The idea is good, but the limited potential doesn’t do it for me.

I started from a viewpoint of why would I use this and then I got to the elven cloudherds and said no. No.
Nothing makes the thunderstruck stand out as an undead choice. There are so many undead, why use this one?
The cloud golem falls into the same boat. Why use it instead of some other golem? Because it can fly? Why does it need a skeleton? It seems like flavor test for the church of a sky god in a particular campaign.
As for the squallherds, they are just too silly for me. I don’t buy it.
No.

While I think there are enough slaver races bent on destroying humanity, like the neogi and mind flayers, I think there is room for the Imperium.
The use of weltanschauung is over the top. Point of view? World-view? Paradigm?
I don’t use psionics, so I would hack that out.
Upon second review, why would I use this instead of neogi or mind-flayers or any other underdark slavers? To explain all those oozes in dungeons? They have a union?
This gets my third vote because it is sixth from the bottom in my mind, but the gap to my top two is wide.

I thought this was a No on my first read through. On second review, I like the Herne, the koliaq aren’t bad, even if they come from Thor’s casket of Ancient Winters by way of Pandora’s Box, but the tamurga.....
So the tundra is angry and full of insects. I’m not from the land of the ice and snow, but I am sensing there are few insect swarms there. And an ooze shooting insects? Not for me.
Two out of three. Good enough to get my vote as my #2.

I actually had no problem with the haemogoblins. My problem is with the horrid Hettie from last round, a villain with no real basis on real-world midwifery.
So the Decrier is fearless, yet keeps his well armored, power attacking self out of combat? Not hat my players are using fear against a CR 9 monster. Nope, he’s catching rays, cones, etc. that would render his abilities more or less useless.
I like the goblins, don’t see much use for the Bloodless – is it a deus ex machine for PCs in trouble? Is it a temporary ally in the hunt for a pack?
I see one useful creature out of 3, so I vote No.

I vote No.
So if Robert Salvatore, Michael Moorcock, Clark Ashton Smith, and C.L. Moore put their genes together and spawned a writer of overblown pulp noise, this is it. Seriously, this made me want to put my head in front of a table saw. It biased me against the rest – it’s about the monsters, not about how extravagant you can make your prose.
The little guys and the crows are good, but the template is lacking, and like others, I would much rather have seen the walking mansions written up. In simple, tacit terms.
The pseudo-feathers are also a point that troubles me. Why not just feathers?

No.

As someone who is being treated for depression, I have two major problems with your attempt.

1. You obviously did not write what you know.
2. You obviously could not be troubled to do even the slightest bit of research on depression. Apparently, I am suicidal, apathetic, and devoid of feelings of value and self-worth.

Obviously number 1 feeds into number 2. You came up with an idea and forged ahead. As a friend of mine who aspired to writing once said, “Well, I imagined what it would be like.”

No.

In a manner similar to the less abhorrent Hettie the midwife, the world does not work in the way you have presented it.

Now lets look at number 2. Start with my analogy: All gamers are either eighty pound weaklings with glasses and bad skin or else three hundred pound men in black t-shirts with bad ponytails. In either case they are socially inept and dweebs. Now I know this isn’t true because I have experience to draw upon that shows that there is a spectrum. Thus, I can avoid offense.

Putting aside the distasteful topic of suicide, I have to question why dying of fright brings you back as an evil creature and the lame naming.

This is really bad.

This was the only entry where I could see myself using all three monsters as the adventurers made their way towards the BBEG. I see the BBEG sending the golem after them when they are a high-level threat, one of his flunkies having a dungeon core set up, and one of their NPC friends coming back as a dream distilled creature after the BBEG removes them. This was my only definite yes vote after my first pass reading of all eight entries. Head and shoulders above the rest.

Several posters are right, esp. Grimcleaver. Why does she have to be crazy? Why does she have to be a tiefling?
Also, as someone points out, her goals don't scale up.
This is a really cool idea, but not a top 8.

Right up there with the midwife in terms of someone with an idea that maybe required more research. Or basic research. I'm depressed so my mind got taken over. Now the ubermind wants to destroy legends. Maybe by burning books. Maybe by discrediting old heroes. Puh-lease. I think this cries out for a smoother way that the psion gains control of the host body, and then maybe goes back to a life of assassination - as in a serial assassin, able to hop from body to body....
No vote.

THis may be the first one where I say that it outright gets my vote. Evil baddie, place to hide, tactics, motivation, goals. And I think, hostage gets killed right off is indeed villainous. Right on.

I actually think the tactics have won me over and that this will get one of my votes. Especially with the sleeper agent princess after Kalyani goes down. Who knows, maybe Kalyani is raised later for vengeance....

Borderline for me. I liked the idea, not the execution. It sort of helps to have a PC as a descendant. So I guess he sowed some wild oats? It sort of ropes a PC into a role they may not want.

The baron builds a castle on top of his grave? Puh-lease. A little farfetched.

Maybe Torquil shouldn't have brought his gee-tar on a dungeon crawl.

This one is borderline - she seems to have no goal other than protecting her claimed area. If the Claws were to do soemthing, or if she were expansionist I would make this definite.

Too topical for me. The idea is cool, sort of Hannibal Lecter of the ghouls. But the suicide bombing is insensitive, and Doug don't back that.

I'm not a psionic user, so you kind of lost me there. Posts by Grimcleaver etc. sort of convinced me that this is borderline for me at best. My question is if Voeren is defeated, won't the aboleths just flood the island some other way? Aren't they the real villain and this guy, with his tenuous backstory, is a stepping stone, the head of a psionic cult. Just not feeling it.

As a Bond villain maybe. But as someone said, he never leaves his shop. Not even to find an inevitable?

His height/weight ratio is more than lean. Emaciated and anorexic come to mind. As a runner, even aging, I'm 5'9" and 154. Three more inches and 54 less pounds is mind blowing to consider. I'd add fifty pounds to the given weight.

As a villain I would like to have seen maybe a cooler henchman, a cooler lair, and so forth. Maybe he appears to die when confronted and comes back again to face the PCs.

Not recommended.

What's special to make the players say, "Wow, remember when we had to go to the swamp and fight Mwana? Yeah, she was so buffed with a zillion extended spells. Great rules usage there, DM."

Basically, that's what I see - using metamagic to extend buff spells hung on a concept that doesn't stand out - a xenophobic swamp dweller. Why are the PCs fighting her? One of her plots she abandoned (your words) ?

No vote here.

As a participant in two midwife assisted home births let me bluntly say that this is not how midwifery works. Perhaps in a fantasy world, but not in reality.

Simply put, midwives work by reputation and word of mouth. Someone who has "lost" sixty children, even over a score of years, in a magical society, is just not going to get any work. Some might even suppose her to be cursed.

The basic flawed logic of this entry denies any further consideration. Perhaps the intent of a low-level villain was good, but some basic research would have revealed that the premise really holds no water.

No, no, and further, no.

It sounded like the writer was intimately familiar with a world history that I didn't know, so was left grasping at what to work with.

Where's the beef? Then again, it's so open, I could do anything with it. Then again, it's so devoid of grounding the motivation to do so isn't really there. It needs a starter.

I like Iskandar! Er, Iskandria.

I would suspend a couple things that seem plucked from literature - The hobgoblin ribcage fort seems almost out of Perdido Street Station, and Jack vance had a Vermillion or some such Legion in Dying Earth. Minor quibbles. I can see the players groaning, "More monkey goblins! Don't they ever stop coming?"

Nothing to like - a country off the beaten path in a game world.

I like it, but I'm not sure I'd run a game in it. What I think I'd do is put it in my world and see if my players wanted to go there, or if it became part of a bigger plot. As someone said, eventually the scab gets lifted off the facade of niceness and the players see the oozing pus underneath and say, let's knock off the druids. And seize the all-powerful artifact. And remake the world in our image. Hmmmmmm, maybe it does have some merit!

The writing and formatting really got in the way for me. I also am of the opinion that regional feats tend to drive players to a frame of mind where they think their choices are being reduced, this isn't my Greyhawk, blah blah blah.

I see ossibility, but not a vote.

If only the Donner party had had necromancers so as people dropped they could have sent them out for help/food.

Again, it doesn't look like a place I'd do more than run a one shot.

Didn't anyone object as each family came to be run by an intelligent (that is, evil) undead? With paladins immune to the plague, wouldn't there be one who would have raised the moral issue. Are the intelligent undead happy merely being plantation owners? With an infinite lifespan, surely they have many, many more plots brewing. IS the pecking order based on plantation size or type of undead or wealth or number of undead you control?

I read this and it just seemed to lack the grab of RUN YOUR CAMPAIGN HERE! Honestly, if I wanted ruins on top of ruins, I'd run a Dying Earth game. It would have been more interesting if the storms actually dropped something down once in a while, like maybe an aforementioned aberration.