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Well, I hope you don't ignore my post just because I'm a "dude". I have had the same experience as you when I got my wife interested in rpgs back when 3.0 came out. She was making much of the same mistakes, and I couldn't keep holding her hand without the party getting suspicious. So I let her character die by her own mistakes, and got the same responce as the one you mentioned. Finally I sat her down and asked her what she wanted out of the game, and what she found apealing for a character. It turns out that she was just playing the wrong class. So I sat down and explained how if we made a different character that would appeal to the style of play she wanted, that she would have more fun. She didn't want to play as the class I suggested, but once she gave it a shot she had a lot more fun and has learned so much about roll playing now that she hasn't died since. Anyways, I hope this helps you out and is not ignored.