Crumbs cracks an eye and says"I was only kidding about skinning them alive, lass. Sorry to disappoint. But look on the bright side, I'm sure that Colin will squeeze it out of them eventually."
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"I didn't torture him. I tried to save him, but there was nothing I could do. And if digging a hole and chucking a body into it makes you feel better about driving your lance through a woman's neck, then great. All buried. All forgotten. Tonight, some boars or some badgers or some bears will dig the body up and drag it away and have enough to eat for a while. Maybe feed their children. Maybe have a chance. Like those crows are doing up there. And like those two are doing in there." Crumbs says gesturing to Oleg and Svetlana."The world moves on. The living keep living. If you want to take your righteousness out on someone, try Happs in there. He's the one who brought these people here." Crumbs closes his book, stands and looks Colin in the eyes. "You remember Happs, right? He's the guy that you and your horse ripped to shreds before. We patched him up while you were gone. I'm sure you'll be happy to know that he's gonna make it." With that, he turns and climbs up onto the wall, reclines upon one of the broken catapults and appears to go to sleep.
"Yes, boy. Dead. As in not living anymore. As in he came here to rape Svetlana with his buddies and found himself up there instead. That is Oleg's property now and you'd best not be messing with it. Next time you want a say in who does or doesn't end up dangling, try sticking around instead of running off for hours to hug about it in the woods with your girlfriend, yeah? This is our lives now and it is only going to get harder from here. What did you think you brought that sword for? Or that lance?" Crumbs goes back to reading his book, making an occasional esoteric mark with his quill and ink.
Crumbs has been sitting in the shadow of the wall, pondering his book and keeping an eye to the horizon for any more bandits. When Colin and Crytalis walk up, he says without looking up from his book, "Oleg wanted a dead one hung up there. But you guys went and stole away the only dead one to do Hood knows what with in the woods. So me and the bandit who turned out to not want to fight me that badly after all had to haul that other weasely bastard up there. I'm guessing he's dead now. Hasn't made any noise for...," Crumbs holds up his hand in a complicated gesture placing the sun at the tip of his index finger, casting a series of shadows upon his palm.
"...fifteen, twenty minutes. Oleg seems right happy about it. The half-orc's inside looking nervous. Could probably use your attention, Crytalis. It was getting a little too weird in there for me."
"Not that I knew the guy or any such thing, but I'm going to make a judgement call and say that, even though this Happs fellow didn't know we were here this morning, he really was that stupid. But, you are correct. Those two run the place and they were the ones you were coming to rob again." Crumbs rummages through the bandits pouches and pockets. "Us? We were just in the right place at the right time. This is just a stop for us. We'll be on our way soon enough, but a more permanent guard solution is on its way for these folks. I'm guessing you've gone a good ways towards severing your ties with these brigands, yes? Well Brumir, the name is Crumbs. Cranson Crumbs and I'm going to need you to give me a hand getting this body hung up there nice and prominent," Crumbs squints along a pointed finger aimed at the upper portion of the palisade, "Maybe the next group of fools to come wandering along will get the picture and keep to themselves, hey?" Crumb ties a sturdy knot around the fallen brigand's right ankle and tosses the end of the rope up and over the palisade wall. He and Brumir tug the grisly ornament into position, body hanging upside down, spinning slightly in the breeze. Overhead, the silent silhouettes of crows take notice. Finished, Crumbs takes a long drink from his water skin and then offers the same to Brumir. "What say you, Brumir? Are you one to switch sides whenever it most suits you? Or are you one who could be trusted? We three are set with the task of clearing out bandits and attempting to make the Greenbelt more habitable. Have you any interest in such a task?"
"So be it," grunts Crumbs. "Pretty sure the lass knows a thing or two about putting people back together, but I will see what I can do for him in the meantime."
"Hey Oleg, what you want to do with this here boy? You want me to help him out or did you have something else in mind?" Crumbs shouts to Oleg.
Crumbs walks over to the Mayor and pulls a bruised apple from one of his many pouches. He feeds it to him, strokes his ears while reassuring him and dodges a bite.
"Well lass, it seems like he's not gonna be giving us too much trouble like he is. I don't see the harm of bandaging him up and seeing what he has to say. Why don't you keep an eye on that other fellow over there," Crumbs gestures to the rough area the half-orc occupies. "Make sure he doesn't take a swing at me while I work." Crumbs moves forward and kneels at the brigands side. He removes the bolts and does what he can to stabilize him. It seems to be too little too late as his crossbow's aim was too precise.
Crumbs hears a reassuring sound coming down to him from the wall and decides that he is feeling quite lucky. He takes a quick defensive step back and fires a third crossbow bolt at the bandit who has rolled up on him.
Hopeful that his aim was true, he shouts over his shoulder at the Mayor, "Oy. You see that?"
Crumbs loads up another bolt and takes aim and the pale and grotesque bandit beneath him. "Let's see if I have a little better luck with some closer work" grunts Crumbs and lets fly his vengeance.
As the bolt sinks into his intended target, he hops down from the wall and moves into a position near the gate.
"Aw to hell with these cretins," grunts Crumbs as he raises his crossbow and takes a hurried aim at Happs.
"We've been sharpening our skinning knives all night and I know that I personally have a few things I've been meaning to try with mine,"
Crumbs climbs into position on the wall, staying hidden from the approaching bandits. "Four riders is three riders more than you, Colin. Still want to go through with this?"
"Uninterrupted rest? Ha! That is something. I used to travel for a while with a wizard by the name of Arcun the Emboldened. I don't think I ever saw him sleep once. Each night, he would smoke a pipe load of a noxious paste he would concoct. Never would give me the recipe. Sure would have liked to have added it to my book. Those few months though, I never once had to take a watch shift. I'd go to bed and he would be tapping his foot and staring off into the distance, smoke curling out of his nostrils. Each morning, he would be there still, humming and tapping his foot, making our morning tea. No sleep and he could sling spellwork with the best of them still." Crumbs slurps up the rest of his stew, wipes his mouth with the back of his arm, belching. "Arcun was not long for this world, though. He had me set him on fire once to win a bet with this fat trader from Restov and he just disappeared in the flames. Since there was no body, I was never able to collect on the winnings. Damn shame that. He bet a month's worth of our wages."
Crumbs is fine with you using the Mayor in that fashion.
Knowing that he has no money for purchases, Crumbs retires to his bunk after checking in on the Mayor and retrieving some extract components from his tackle. When alone in the bunkhouse, he unrolls a small cured deerskin mat that is covered in arcane symbols. The symbols seem to be stitched into the fabric with alternating patterns of copper and silver wire. Upon this he places a variety of glass bulbs and tubes and tiny flames and a few other esoteric devices from his alchemy kit. He kneels in front of it and settles into a trance-like state. His hands move on their own towards to appropriate ingredients. Oleg's unending hammer strikes fade away. The fearful waves of the looming bandit encounter slowly smooth and cease to exist. Crumbs opens his eyes to find two items created. The first is a small disc of unleavened bread. In its center, a drop of moisture still glistens as it continues to absorb outwards to the edges, soaking it completely.
Satisfied with his work, Crumbs replaces all of the items in his kit.
Crumbs looks to Crytalis and affects what he believes to be his most scholarly of looks. It looks more like the food he just ate is trying its best to violently force its way out of him. If she'll let me taste 'em a little, I may be able to tell you what they are. But she probably would know." Crumbs says and then adds to himself,
"Old Mother! Tell us about your wares! Your tonics here. What are they?" "And Colin, as much as I would like to get those catapults slinging firebombs and crushing destruction on these idiots when they show up tomorrow, I don't think any of us could do anything to help to repair them."
"Either way."
"We brought plenty 'o rope and a fair bit of firepower. We're here to deal with bandits. You lot seem like a nice enough pair. A little hard on the eyes, but you make a mean broth and that goes a long way to make up for it.The bread could use some work." At the mention of bread, Crumbs' eyes take on a wistful appearance. If one was looking just right, they might even catch a hint of moisture gathering there along the bottom lids. "Well, if what you say is for true and for certain, these bandits are going to save us a whole mess of trouble of tracking them down. With them coming to us, all we need to do is grab one, skin him, hang him from the palisade while he's still alive and screaming. That should have the others greasing their britches and sweating through their jerkins. They'll be begging us to let them tell us where the rest of their people are. Oleg'll get his decorations and we'll get our information." Crumbs takes a massive slurp of broth from his bowl shoves the remaining crust of bread in behind it. "Ah that's the trick. Soak the bread in the broth and it goes down almost like regular bread."
At the mention of food, Crumbs decides that stowing his gear can wait. As he passes the table of wares, his eyes linger for a moment upon the potions. "After the meal, I'll have to ask if I can examine these unguents more closely, or perhaps even the wench already knows what they are," Crumbs thinks to himself in what he believes is his most quiet of voices. It isn't. When he hears the world trouble, he gets visibly excited. "Trouble you say. What kind of trouble, I ask. Troubles of the Lycanthopic Variety? The wooooolves that walk on two legs? Something like this maybe?" He pulls out a picture from his satchel and holds it up eagerly. "Terror under the moonlight? Carnage and destruction? Arms and legs removed by gnashing teeth?"
Crumbs grabs a few important items from the Mayor's back as Colin escorts the animals to the stalls. He chuckles slightly and and says Svetlana, "The first time the Mayor bit me, it was one hour after I found him. He's damn near bit me every day since. That boy though, the Mayor never bit him once. He does seem to have a way with the animals, doesn't quite have the ladies figured out as well." He hoists his pack onto his back and starts to make his way to the rooms. "Maybe give the two of them the double bed if you catch my meaning, hey Old Mother?" He doesn't wait for a reply.
okay i think i have crumbs formatted.
Crumbs' methodical pace comes to a halt next to the others. He pulls a wine skin from a saddlebag adorning the donkey accompanying him, deftly avoiding a nip from his vicious looking teeth. "Out here, if a man has a thing, be assured that another is trying to take that thing from him," he says after a long drink of watered wine. "The two of you had best remember that and be thankful to have walls around you when you can." With a grunt, Crumbs replaces the wine skin and continues on. His mule, the Mayor of Braddock, follows closely behind, their measured steps taking them up the final hill of their journey.
okay maybe i'm jacked in? it keeps saying i need to make ten posts or some crap so i'm just gonna keep posting.
for some reason it won't let me post |