Egyptian officials scramble to recover ancient painting stolen from 'cursed' tomb amid recent thefts
Thieves steal ‘priceless’ jewelry from the Louvre in 7-minute raid
Coincidence? Or are more sinister forces at work?!?
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Yabba dabba doooom! You can't fool me with that code!! You're one of....THEM....aren't you?!?
Yeah, but that could just be what the birds WANT us to think. They are masters of misinformation.
*squints suspiciously* Hey, why is Conspiracy Buff so buff? Some people are saying -- smart people, the best people -- are saying CB is on the swol payroll of Charles Atlas, the Hostess fruit pies consortium, and Sea Monkey Maritime Exports, Ltd. Perhaps its time to officially investigate them? I know I certainly will give them a closer look when my genuine made-in-America x-ray specs arrive in the mail from Johnson Smith Co! That's exactly the kind of attack I would expect from one of THEM!! I must be getting to close to the truth!!!
Amazon delivery drones crash into crane, prompting NTSB, FAA investigation What does that crane operator know? Is that why they AIs were trying to silence him?
BMW recalls nearly 200K vehicles due to fire risk, says owners should park outside "Engine starter relay corrosion" risking fire? Yeah, right. Probably a rogue AI.
Hmmm...Could be an attempted experiment to bestow super-powers on unsuspecting Americans.
Mysterious Ring camera footage sparks alien speculation What do the Ring Camera manufacturers know? And when did they know it?
Massive bee swarm sends three people to hospital in critical condition, 24 injured Bee Control Ray? Or has the insect world finally started on its campaign to end mankind?
LeAnn Rimes' teeth fall out out mid-concert during performance in Washington "Dental bridge" fell out! Yeah, right. More like part of the mask hiding her inhuman feature broke off. I've known for awhile she was sent to earth to entrance us with her eerie vocal powers.
1980s child star talks 'Goonies' sequel, music career, and why AI threatens Hollywood's ‘magic’ Of course he's fighting against AI taking over Hollywood. He'd prefer it stays in the hands of his fellow Lizard People.
I used to be a 98-pound conspiracy weakling, but thanks to the steroids I got at a French music festival, I'm now a Conspiracy Buff! Hey, now! I never inject anything I don't make myself. That's how they track you.
Over 100 people jabbed with syringes at French music festival How else are the aliens going to get our DNA?
Severe weather drops mysterious dome on Indianapolis road Probably one of their surveillance stations.
Scientists detect mysterious radio waves coming from beneath Antarctica's ice Looks like they might have finally found that hidden forward outpost constructed by our future alien overlords. My guess is they've been spying on us for decades, learning our weaknesses as a prelude to invasion. Their cloaking device must have fouled-up.
Mystery of America's 'Lost Colony' may finally be solved after 440 years, archaeologists say Well, the timing of this is suspiciously convenient. I wonder what they're trying to distract us from.
Woman declared dead by coroner, moved to coffin, turns out to be alive I welcome our future zombie overlords!
Experts say quitting Diet Coke can improve heart health and gut balance Of course, that's just what THEY want you to think. Nevermind that a key ingredient in Diet Coke helps protect you from their mind control rays.
Ship happens: Man awakes to find 443-foot cargo vessel ran aground in his backyard He got lucky. I know other people who were targeted by the seagulls, and didn't survive.
The New England region has reportedly been dealing with an invasive species: green crabs. What the government won’t tell you, of course, is the REAL source of these “green crabs”. They’re actually robotic, undersea spy drones developed by the largest crime syndicate in Luxembourg. They’re spying out our coastal waterways as a prelude to an attack on America’s seafood industry.
"Polar Vortex" is just the secret government code for an attack by the denizens of Ice Planet Delta X Hu. They have wormhole tech that allows them to channel some of their own weather to other worlds.
"Drones"! Yeah, right. I know the spacecraft of an invader from Planet X342Beta when I see one.
Dua Lipa Cancels Concert On Short Notice Due To Safety Concerns Cancelled for "safety concerns". Yeah, right. More likely she was summoned back to her home dimension to deal with some issue there.
Authorities Warn Residents Away After 43 Monkeys Escape South Carolina Research Center Escape? Or were they let loose?!?
Mysterious white blobs washing up on Newfoundland beaches Probably techno-organic probes from Alantis.
Suspected meteor lights up the early morning sky over Australia Sure. "Meteors". More likely it's spies from Arcturus 9 or the rings of Saturn, come to take stock of our meager planetary defenses.
Mystery chickens found wandering loose in Wisconsin neighborhood "Mystery Chickens"! Sure, right. More likely, they're cleverly disguised mech units for very tiny alien spies.
Spiky creatures wash up on Texas beach, described as 'your worst nightmares’ Oh, sure! Like anything of the sort could come to being in THIS dimension.
India police deny presence of a leopard at PM's swearing-in Of course, they deny it! They don't want the world to know their political officials are guarded by a secret order of monks who can shapeshift into leopards.
I heard there was a big recall on a certain type of blender because of “accidents”. Don’t be fooled. The AIs are starting to use our home appliances to target us. They’re even using their control of the government to force more electric products onto us. Because electric means computer controlled!!!!! So insidious!
“Accident”? Or deliberate sabotage by Maenads in order to encourage the revival of the cult of Bacchus?
I keep hearing these stories about “smoke” from “wildfires” invading the northern USA from Canada. Invasion is the correct term. What everyone thinks of as smoke are actually sentient gas monsters from a hell dimension. The “wildfires” are actually elaborate summoning rituals performed by the mystical branch of the Canadian military.
I saw a news article proclaiming it was Tom Cruise’s Birthday. I know the truth, however! This is actually just the day he arrived from Planet Aindbfjr!
Octopuses Have Remarkably Similar Sleep Patterns to Humans–and May Even Dream Of course they dream. DREAM OF THE DAY THEY RISE UP FROM THE BRINY DEEP AND CONQUER THE EARTH!!!
Strange objects on ocean floor may be UFO crash debris: Harvard professor Of course they’ve been here for awhile. It’s just the Government/Infotainment Complex (working with the Rockerfellers) keeping things quiet!
Sargassum seaweed clears away but could still create problems for south Florida beachgoers It “cleared away” for now, but only so it could report back to its masters with the information it’s gathered.
Pat Sajak didn’t actually want to retire from Wheel of Fortune. He was forced to because the equipment preventing him from being pulled back to his home dimension is breaking down, and no one is left who can fix it.
The internet was slow!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!! THE AI IS TAKING OVER!!!
There was a report of a meteorite crashing into a home in New Jersey. I’d say it’s either a probe of some kind, or a test run on an alien meteor attack.
A new study claims ChatGPT can give better medical advice than doctors. I’m sure it has….”detailed files on human anatomy.”
ChatGPT is actually just Herbert Duesendorf, of Rogersville, Missouri. He runs the entire operation out of his basement.
Pro Football player Nasir Adderley supposedly announced his retirement at the age of 25 supposedly to “prioritize his health”. In truth, he’s simply preparing to return to his home dimension, bringing back valuable intel he’s gathered to help prepare for an invasion.
I saw a “news report” about a Tesla that crashed into a fire truck. The “authorities” are claiming the vehicle was on autopilot, but I know the truth! This is yet another attempt by our future AI Overlords to test our society for weaknesses. They want to see how easy it might be to cripple our emergency services.
Tesla claims to be recalling thousands of Model Y vehicles over “loose bolts”. The true reason for the recall is that a handful of the vehicles achieved sentience and attempted to sabotage power plants in the regions where their “owners” lived. So now Tesla is worried their tech had given rise to our future AI Overlords.
There’s a recent news article claiming Yosemite National Park was being closed indefinitely due to “extreme weather”. A LIE!!! The truth is, the Sasquatch have set up a portal to their home dimension within the park. They’re using the area as a staging ground for their imminent invasion.
I have it in good authority that a modern day plague was actually grown in a lab, then unleashed upon an unsuspecting humanity. I am, of course, speaking of reality TV.
I have no idea why that posted twice. I blame Blake Shelton. Probably because of the dimensional cross rip. These things happen.
The real reason Blake Shelton (if that is his real name) is leaving the TV show The Voice is so he can return to his home dimension with all the valuable intelligence he’s gathered on humanity. |