Calistril 11th, 4712 [Day 9]
*the following tale appears to be a greatly exaggerated and is written in flowing Halfling script*
Dear Mom,
My luck has turned! I, Captain Concobhar Turlach Shortstone have achieved perfection! Even the Storm of the Century and the Shark of One Thousand Teeth were unable to stop me from achieving my goals!
Whilst resting my eyes for but a moment this interminable ship, the demon-infested Wormwood, threw me viciously from the crow’s nest into the unforgiving sea! After executing a perfect swan dive in my sleep, I found myself facing not one but two great white sharks all with demonic brands ablaze across their foreheads. After avoiding their first lunge by diving below the next crashing wave I slew the first shark with but a kick from my mighty foot. I would have slain the second in similar fashion but for the fall of my crewmate into the raging sea. Knowing I was honor bound to save his life, I grabbed the upper fin of the final shark and lashed myself to its back. It bucked trying to unseat me but I, as an accomplished dinosaur rider, was easily able to tame it into submission. My fellow crewmember owes me his life for saving his at sea. I should have him keelhauled for such bumbling!
In light of recent events though I suppose I shall show leniency. Self-said crewmember has shown a measurable quantity of honor and has revoked his claim to the exquisite Rosie Cusswell (the woman I mentioned in my last letter). As I continue to root out the mutinous element that deposed me from my captaincy, I shall count him and his as newfound allies.
Be well mom as I continue my high adventures as a noble gentleman of fortune!