Caltropox's devilishly keen amber eyes focus like spears stabbing the pulpy little black blob of Skribblix's rubbery bald head poking halfway out of the hole 15 feet up the wall of the oubliette, directly above the Sword of Kas that was the hamatula's ward, which it was bound by Countess Olivia's conjuration to keep safe from theft or harm. "The f@%$ is THAT??" The barbed devil's eyes became amber slits of murderous menace. "Hey. You .... Whatever the f#&@ you are .... Go curl up and rot in some other hole, ya hear me? If you even have a stupid little DREAM in your blobby little head about TOUCHING--NO, even LOOKING at that sword again .... You'd better wake the f#+! up and go jump off a cliff, ya hear me?? .... Yeah, YOU!! .... Damn it, I'm looking RIGHT AT YOUR GREASY LITTLE SQUID HEAD, you piece of--" The bulbous black head with its beady little black eyes was gone--it had vanished back into the roughly 1-foot-diameter hole up in the stone wall .... "Stupid little bastard .... Better not poke it's ugly little prick-head out o' th' hole again, by Fernia's sweet berries, or I'll .... Bah! That THING won't be back .... I probably scared the worm-s*$+ right out o' it .... Now .... About our little turnkey Osquim .... Flarky-me-boyo .... Your soul probably tastes like erinyes' titty-milk .... I aim to find out ...."
With one last quick glance at the dark hole--nope, no eavesdropping whatever-it-was--Caltropox growls to the giant-sized "chamberpot" in the corner: "HEY! .... Stupid mimic! .... DO NOT TOUCH the F&@!ING SWORD while I'm away, ye hear me?? I'll be back anon .... I need a little fun to break up the tedium and get out of this stinking cesspit for a spell .... Keep a lookout for that THING, whatever-the-f&&~-it-was .... If it tries to get near the sword, by all means, have yourself ANOTHER snack, ye fat, gluttonous, heap o' lard, ye!" With that, Caltropox abandoned his post .... just for a little bit of fun .... After all, what harm could come of it? ....