*Immediately starts tearing AM GOLD apart to see if either he is made of gold, or if he’s got gold buried somewhere inside him.*
Why do take out, when it’s easy to give in?
I was referring to the fact that you are divorcing from your business associates (after all, they were the ones who told you that going into business is a lot like being married). And weren’t you actually in the business of deaf horses in the first place?
*Pours a cup of Pulg’s favourite hot beverage, and then gives it to him, to calm him down.*
Save your rage for your wives’ divorce proceedings tomorrow, you are their barrister, after all.
Which is why he gets tortured a lot, though it is having the opposite effect on him now.
No, you’re once again thinking of Comte de Malodor, only it’s not blood he sucks out of you.
The vampire lord always aims to please.
Pulg's Fairy Accordion Band wrote: We have featured on many of their hit recordings. Gods, we wish we hadn't. Was this before or after Count Reiner Heydrich taught you guys how to read?
What about Jimmy Fungus or Thomas Animal?
Doesn’t everyone? No, seriously, doesn’t everyone win briefly?
Someone get a pandarrot, we may need to put on a show down the West End and on Broadway.
Thank you, my good lady, you have saved us all from a most terrible nightmare.
Comte de Malodor wrote: Bumptious Wazzock wrote: Super Slaad? wrote: Are you like them, having a passage to Bangkok? Me? Never! That sort of thing is always a Comte de Malodor thing. 'To', or 'in'? Only you would the answer to that question.
Super Slaad? wrote: Are you like them, having a passage to Bangkok? Me? Never! That sort of thing is always a Comte de Malodor thing.
*Proceeds to burn the Midnight Oil.*
I’m not allowed to fondle or fondue fairies, I can’t do the former due to my… discretion… with the fairy queen. And I can’t do the latter as I once used fondue fairies to poison the one orc tribe that no one is supposed to, and I am the only one stupid enough to do it. And I am also forbidden to be within 10 metres of a potato masher, I use them for smashing windows (usually the ones on The Dirty Dangler’s house).
I’m allergic to pixies, will I still get the same results if I were to purée some fairies instead?
How can I get my hands on this “frozen yogurt” or whatever it’s called in the UK, I’m out of my favourite bubble bath liquid!
*Brain fully resets itself before Pulg has the chance to turn BW into a contrabassoon.*
French toast please!
*Utters nonsensical comments while brain tries to reset itself.*
If I ever worry about my mental health, I just get a lobotomy, does wonders for me. And the only side effect is…..
*Brain literally shuts down.*
I didn’t know that we needed something fixed.
Sure, if you say so, why not?
*Grabs a nearby telephone and dials a number.*
Hello? Looney bin? I’ve got another one for you.
I’ve always been pronouncing it as ’Bow-how’, as I thought that the S was silent.
If I am getting ice cream, please bring me a classic 99p ice cream with a flake.
I’m not allowed anywhere near any Sackbutts, Pulg, and if you have forgotten then The Dirty Dangler can explain to you.
Niemand wrote:
puts up sign
No Littering
Drat, drat, and double drat!
Exhibit C: the Platinum Dragon’s dog - Bahamuttley!
Who!? Who, who, who, who!?
*Douses Comte de Malodor continuously with buckets of ice cold, soapy, water.*
This will have to do until the good doctor comes back.
I think it’s we should discuss this with Dr. G. House.
I still don’t know just why Pulg and Comte de Malodor hate each other so much.
No need to be snarky, Snarki!
Yes, you did invent waterproof maracas (I actually have a pristine collection of all your first edition ones), but when it comes to growing aubergines that you can use as musical instruments - Comte de Malodor claims superiority.
Yes it has, by yourself none the less, you just refuse to let the world know simply because you took offence to something that Comte de Malodor said about how he is better at growing music ready aubergines than you.
Azothath wrote: I thought Bill Cosby made oozes jiggly... No, he makes aboleths jiggly, he makes oozes rage quit.
No, Pulg, that just makes them puke.
And as you and I both know, The when, Neil Diamond songs makes oozes jiggly.
Which is why I always play a little Barry White, to get them “melting” into the moulds.
Maybe you should type out your spell book again.
I hear that expired hair gel gives the same results at a much cheaper price.
I can attest to that, just like I know that The Dirty Dangler was not the one responsible for the death of Professor Frankenwurst. The Dirty Dangler was, at the time of the incident, chasing me around his garden and threatening to dig out my entrails with a rusty spade. And all because I switched the labels of his aubergines with his zucchinis.
And what about jello Slaads?
*Cranks the humidity up to the highest level.*
I just cut the big sycamore down just to annoy people.
No Pulg, I will not pull splinters out of you.
*Gets a chainsaw and cuts down Spruce Bringsteen, the Singing Conifer of Asbury Park Arboretum.*
*Then, blows up the Asbury Park Arboretum for added measure.*
*Annoys Uncle Honore something awful, for no reason at all.*
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