Belessa Lightwave's page

A baby, a name and a soul

We knew that at least one of his weapons acted as a phylactery for Vanthus’s damned soul, so we quickly destroyed both of them. We then hurried upstairs, where we found what we had been looking for: poor Lavinia was in a sorry state, tied up in her room just like when we had rescued her from Malbrecht and the Bullywugs. Raguhl quickly freed her and held her in his arms. It was touching to see the two old friends reunited. I healed Lavinia’s wounds, but I knew that she still expected me to be the evil version of myself. She would need some time to understand what I had become, and we were still in mortal danger, here in the Abyss.

We explored the manor and found the source of the evil in the basement. A huge Shadow Pearl, bigger than any we’d seen before, pulsated there with wicked power. When we destroyed it, an earthquake seemed to rock the surrounding region and we felt that Sasserine was starting to move back through reality toward the Material Plane. We had done it: we had saved the city! A twin howl of rage and hatred was heard across the plane as we did so, but thankfully, we soon left the world of Demogorgon.

Unsure of what to do next, we went out the doors of Vanderboren Manor. There, we saw a group of menacing Slaads waiting for us. In front of them was the wicked creature that Lagaan knew so well: the Slaad who had stolen part of his soul, as well as Moretta’s child. She held the infant in her bony arms.

“You did well, Trouble,” she croaked. “You passed the test by killing Demogorgon’s emissary. Thanks to your deeds, Sasserine is now in the process of returning to its natural place on the Primal Plane. I am pleased.”

She straightened her arms and held out the baby, who started to float gently toward me. I carefully took hold of her and hugged her tight against me. She was safe now… At last.

“There are some things you should know,” continued the Slaad, whose name was never revealed. “We have a common enemy. You unearthed a terrible truth in your adventures: the Primal Plane has been seeded with Shadow Pearls. Those things were created in Golismorga with the Black Bile of the World. Their essence can turn people into savage monsters, and this pleases Demogorgon. But there’s more to it than that. I can’t say for sure what else the Prince of Demons is planning, but your world is in great danger. I know the name of someone who knows Demogorgon’s most well-guarded secret, and I will reveal to you this name as a reward for being the meddling adventurers that you are. You’ve been a thorn in the side of Demogorgon, this enemy of my mistress and the usurper of her power.”

“What’s the name?” asked Lagaan.

“Shami-Amourae”.

“Ah, Demogorgon’s former wife,” said Sparkillo.

The Slaad nodded. “I see you know your Abyssal history well, wizard. Yes, this being was the Succubus Queen before Malcanthet. Something happened to her since then, but she knows Demogorgon’s greatest weakness. You could use this weakness to destroy the Demon Lord once and for all.”

We all looked at each other dubiously. We were great heroes, we had bested terrible monsters over the past two years, and we had just slain a dreaded Death Knight and brought a city back from the Abyss, but what she was suggesting seemed insane even to us. Demogorgon was the Prince of Demons, a being almost as powerful as a god. Besides, there were other things we wanted to do first, like finding the location on the Astral Plane where poor Norrix and the other prisoners had gotten stranded when their Rope Tricks had disappeared.

We told the Slaad that we would think about what she had said. She nodded and motioned to her followers to get ready to leave.

“Hey, wait!” said Lagaan. “Aren’t you forgetting something??”

The Slaad turned toward him with a surprised expression.

“My soul…” said the rogue with raised eyebrows.

“Oh, yes, sorry, it almost slipped my mind. Here you go,” she said, handing him over the coveted prism.

Once the Slaads were gone, we looked around the manor and saw that the black sphere that had surrounded it had vanished. The hordes of zombies and skeletons that had been mindlessly trying to enter within had dispersed; we hoped they were on their way back to their graveyard where they would bury themselves. Only one undead being remained behind: Rakis-Ka, the devourer we had met in Golismorga. He had somehow made his way here, and was studying the surroundings with great interest. He was fascinated by our tale of victory over Vanthus, and he spent some time studying the broken fragments of the Death Knight’s weapons.

Hammer 13th, 1377 (continued)

Vengeance for Penkus

We caught glimpses of the shadowy beings that served Vanthus in his twisted Abyssal manor. We heard their whispers behind every corner, from every pool of darkness. I protected everyone in the group against death magic, because I was sure that we could get greatly weakened, or even killed, if we came into contact with these fiends.

After breaking through the wall of stone that the magic of my nemesis had erected, we found that the mirror of opposition had disappeared. If any of my companions had contemplated using it on me to get their old evil Belessa back, this spelled the end of their nefarious plans.

We emerged into the shadowy garden at the center of the manor. We heard Vanthus’s smug, menacing voice coming from above, and we guessed that he was waiting for us near his bedroom on the upper floor. We hurried through the kitchen and, as we arrived in the central hall of the second floor, we saw Vanthus coming down the stairs toward us. He looked more menacing than ever in his unholy armor, half-skeletal as he was and wielding his sword and his sickle, which both burned with the fire of damnation.

“So this is it, Trouble,” he rumbled. “You should have perished under Parrot Island when we first met, but somehow you endured and made it all the way here.”

“We know what crimes you committed below Parrot Island, killing your closest ally,” I replied. “Know that the hand of Penkus guides us this day, and he will finally have his revenge!”

Vanthus grimaced into a hideous smile. “Fools. You’re not the lowly, dirty mercenaries you were back then, but you’ll die all the same. Your troublesome meddling ends NOW!”

And with this, five shadowy, incorporeal demons emerged from the walls and floor of the hall around us to join their master in battle. Vanthus brought his weapons together in a loud clash, and a wave of unholy fire washed over us, burning us. All around me, my companions sprang into action, but the shadow demons clawed them painfully. Raguhl and Ulfgar battled the shadow demons with their blades; Lagaan shot one of them with his Nimbus bow; Sparkillo used his magic to quicken our movements and to surround Vanthus with a Wall of Force.

One of the demons tried to blind us with magical darkness which I dispelled with a Daylight spell. Vanthus couldn’t get past Sparkillo’s magical wall, and after roaring in frustration, he summoned a nightmare to attack us. Lagaan had drawn his rapier and Sunblade and was fighting one of the demons in melee. Ulfgar and Raguhl were fighting other opponents, and Sparkillo blasted another one with Magic Missiles. One of the demons tried to gain control of Ulfgar’s body, but the dwarf resisted. A moment later, I protected us with a Magic Circle Against Evil, for I remembered that Vanthus could control minds with his magic.

Lagaan killed one of the shadow demons, but the nightmare attacked him, and his clothes caught on fire. I moved to help him and stabbed the nightmare several times with my trident. Sparkillo killed one of the demons and Raguhl badly wounded another one, causing it to flee. We were now facing only two of the shadow demons.

Meanwhile, Vanthus was smashing the stairs below him with his weapons. Great cracks formed into the stone, and soon, the stairway crumbled down, freeing him from Sparkillo’s magical prison. The nightmare then breathed a cone of flames on most of the group. I suffered nasty burns from it, and coughed from the smoke that hung in the air and made my eyes water. Thankfully, though, Lagaan finished off the abyssal horse shortly after that.

We heard Vanthus roar in anger from downstairs, followed by a chuckle from Sparkillo: the wizard had surrounded our enemy within another Wall of Force to give us more time to finish off the shadow demons. Raguhl and Lagaan killed another one of those fiends, and I summoned water with a spell to put out the flames burning Lagaan.

The last shadow demon was killed by Ulfgar and Lagaan as Vanthus escaped Sparkillo’s magical prison by breaking another hole in the floor of his own mansion. We heard the fluttering of wings getting closer. Sparkillo shot a volley of Magic Missiles at him before retreating up on the balcony. “He’s coming!” he said.

To my dismay, I noticed that the wounds my companions had suffered from the claws of the shadow-demons were unholy in nature and could only be cured in a hallowed location. I did what I could to heal the other wounds of Ulfgar and Lagaan before Vanthus returned, though. We heard Vanthus get closer, and we were in a good formation to wait for him on the second floor balcony, all together and protected in my magical circle.

“Chaaaarrggeeee!!!!” shouted Lagaan, suddenly breaking from the formation and jumping over the edge of the balcony.

“Raaaawwwrrr!!!” roared Raguhl, in the throes of one of his terrible rages as he jumped after the thief.

Our two allies landed on the floor below, and we hurried to the side of the balcony to see that they had started fighting Vanthus, who had just drunk a potion and had greatly increased in size. Raguhl slashed him with his greatsword.

“Idiots…” growled Ulfgar as he hurried down the stairs to join them.

I watched the fight from the top of the stairs, ready to heal my friends at a distance if I needed.

Vanthus was fighting fiercely, but he was flanked by Lagaan and Raguhl. When he saw Ulfgar come down the stairs, though, he turned toward him.

“You… filthy… dwarf!!!!” he spat, surely remembering that Ulfgar was the one who had killed him back in Farshore. “You will be the first to die!!!!”

Unfortunately, Ulfgar had suffered nasty wounds from the shadow demons, and Vanthus plunged his sword deep into his abdomen. Blood flowed from between his magical armor, but he remained standing. I quickly prayed to Sune to close his vicious wound with a Heal spell.

Vanthus was also lashing at Lagaan with his tail. Raguhl struck two more powerful blows on our enemy. Vanthus faltered… and was hit by more of Sparkillo’s Magic Missiles. His weapons fell to the ground as he collapsed. He had been slain by the elven wizard. For the last time in this grand adventure, we heard this cry of victory:

“SPARKILLO!!!!!”

The three warriors gathered around Vanthus, who was dying for a second time at their feet.

“I saw… what.. awaits you…” whispered the Death Knight before expiring.

An impostor in Trouble

The next thing I remember, I was standing over the smoking remains of the one I had killed. Nothing remained of her except her equipment. The beautifully engraved armor, the trident that shone with a blue flame, the heavy shield, the sapphire-encrusted unholy symbol…

“You seem to be having trouble coping with all this,” said the lizardman at my side in a low growl. In this world like in the previous one, he was always painfully blunt.

I turned toward him with wide eyes. “How could I not??” I exclaimed.

He nodded wisely, and there was pain in his eyes. “If it makes it easier for you, know that she was an evil person. I am relieved that it was you, and not her, who survived.”

I shook my head. “How can you say that? She was your companion… Through so many adventures, she saved your life!!!” I was appalled that the barbarian could turn his back on this woman so quickly. How could he so readily admit me among their ranks? After all, I was nothing but a murderer…

I saw that my words cut deep into his soul. I was too confused at the time and missed the tell-tale signs of a gentle soul, as my predecessor had so often done in her time. It would take more time for me to truly get to know Raguhl, and to appreciate him fully. Some time to realize how deep our friendship could become.

“It pains me that she died,” he admitted after a moment. “But I know that, had we survived this quest to the end, we would have fought each other to the death. One of us would have killed the other. I am glad that I never had to raise my blade against her… But that instead I will be able to count you among my allies… And perhaps, one day, among my friends.”

He gestured toward Belessa’s possessions: since mine were about to vanish out of existence, I was expected to take over my victim’s belongings. And I had to be quick about it, because we were so close to facing Vanthus in combat. Meanwhile, the others were busying themselves discussing tactics involving the mirror of opposition: they wanted to shrink it and keep it. Sparkillo, however, warned that it could not be used against Vanthus or Demogorgon: undead and demons were immune to its effects.

Raguhl helped me to swap my clothes and armor with Belessa’s. It was an insane and ridiculous situation, to stand there naked next to the enormous barbarian – thankfully, I knew that he had no attraction to human females, and besides, after two long years of adventuring and sleeping in close quarters with these people, I had very little to hide from them anymore. Even though we had just met, they knew me quite well already.

“So do you have all of Belessa’s memories?” asked Raguhl while we were doing this.

“Yes, I think so.”

“So you know of our mission… to slay Vanthus?”

“Yes… I know everything. I remember how you got here, through the portal. You killed a Marilith, and freed some prisoners, including the paladin Norrix.”

I suddenly stopped and paused to remember the horrible state that Norrix had been in. How come the “evil” Belessa had loved him? How come he had loved her back? I remembered the pain in her heart when she had seen him at death’s door, and how she had kissed him before falling asleep. There had been good things in the heart of this other Belessa; she had not been totally rotten. Even if Raguhl and the others hadn’t seen it… She hadn’t been that bad. I felt it within me. I knew it. And now that the madness of the mirror had faded, I hated myself for having killed this woman.

However, I forced myself to continue. “After we woke up, we were beset by strange daemons. The prisoners remained in hiding inside Sparkillo’s Rope Tricks, but as the rest of us fought, the daemons and the Rope Tricks faded. Sasserine had finally stopped travelling and had settled into the Gaping Maw… Demogorgon’s domain.”

“Yes,” said Raguhl as he helped me fasten the dead woman’s breastplate around my torso. “And do you remember what happened after?”

“We met Vanthus in this hall. He taunted us, and we learned the origin of his powers. At his uncle’s farm, long ago, he had read a magical book… A book that enabled him to summon Demogorgon. The demon-lord killed his uncle and burned the farm. From that point on, Vanthus was his, he turned to evil and committed countless atrocities under Demogorgon’s influence. And now he’s back as a Death Knight, and we have to kill him. He left the room just as one of his shadow-servants uncovered the mirror of opposition… causing me and the doubles of Sparkillo and Ulfgar to appear… ”

Now that I thought back about it, I had heard a distant laughter when I had killed Belessa. It had been Vanthus. I felt a profound surge of anger at this memory. How dared that bastard laugh at Belessa’s death? We would make him pay dearly… I was surprised to feel such anger: perhaps there was still a tiny bit of the real Belessa left alive in me after all.

I was now clad in Belessa’s dark armor. I called upon its glamer magic to turn its appearance into something less sinister, in shades of gold and silver. Raguhl and I returned to the others, who still looked at me with ambivalent expressions. I was holding Umberlee’s symbol in my hand, wondering what to do with it.

“I’ll take that,” said Lagaan as he grabbed it. He held it delicately, as though it carried great sentimental value, and he placed it into his pocket.

“At least you’ll have something to remember her by,” said Ulfgar.

“Yeah,” replied the rogue sadly. “Plus, there’s that copy of her at Porphyry House just in case…”

Along with all of Belessa’s memories came visions Lagaan making love to me (or should I say, to her?) in Tyralandi’s bed. The two adventuring companions, despite their frequent conflicts, had grown quite close in recent days. I wondered if Lagaan would ever see me as something other than the murderer of the true Belessa.

“So what’s your name, lady?” said Ulfgar. “Do we just call you Belessa?”

The name “Asseleb” was the one that immediately came to my mind, but I quickly dismissed it, now realizing how truly silly it sounded in this world. “Yes, please. Call me Belessa Lightwave.”

The dwarf grunted sourly. “Sounds gay.”

The madness of the mirror

It all began very suddenly.

I found myself in the entrance hall of Vanderboren Manor. I was surrounded by heroic-looking figures; they were my friends and companions, but strangely, unbelievably, some of them were visible twice. Ollikraps looked around in surprise until his gaze stopped on a very similar – but much more arrogant-looking – elven mage who wielded the same frost-imbued staff as his. Ragflu lifted his heavy shield, which was adorned with the lawful symbol of Helm, in protection against a similar-looking dwarf, whose shield bore no symbol I could recognize. A bit further, a massive lizardman and a cunning-looking archer looked at us warily – they reminded me of my own companions, but I knew they were not them.

At the center of this crowd, however, was the woman who immediately drew my attention. It was me! Or at least, a corrupted, evil version of me: tall, with long jet-black hair, she wore a heavy armor that was of a dark shade of blue and decorated with symbols of sharks. At her neck hung a medallion in the shape of the twin waves of the evil goddess Umberlee – one of the greatest enemies of my beloved mistress, Sune.

I felt a profound and irresistible urge to destroy that woman – she was my nemesis… She had to die! My sole purpose was to kill her!

Apparently, Ollikraps and Ragflu felt the something similar toward their own look-alikes, and a battle immediately started against the five other adventurers. The fight would’ve been about even if our two missing companions had been present, but we were outnumbered.

The evil cleric of Umberlee – Belessa – cursed when she saw us appear, immediately understanding our nature, which I would only realize some time later. She called to her goddess and summoned a Wall of Stone behind us, blocking the way to what I later learned was a terribly dangerous magical mirror: she wanted to prevent her two other allies, Raguhl and Lagaan, from looking at their reflections in this devious device.

Her last thought was, as always, for the survival of her group. She could’ve tried to destroy me. She could’ve protected herself against the terrible spell she surely knew I was about to unleash upon her. But she thought of the group first. And for this, she was terribly punished. After having read her extensive journal, it is clear to me now that, throughout her entire life, she felt unappreciated, persecuted, misunderstood…

My Destruction spell hit her with the full might of my rage. In that instant, I was completely focused on her annihilation; but now that some time has passed, and that my troubled mind has settled into reality, I fervently hope that she did not suffer in that brief moment in time during which she was wiped out of existence. Because she did not deserve to.

In the time it had taken for me to cast the prayer that had slain my enemy, poor Ollikraps had been surrounded by the enemy warriors and quickly cut to shreds. His bloody elven corpse collapsed to the ground. The dwarf fighter and the rogue turned their attention toward my dwarven ally, but the lizardman looked at me with a bewildered expression. He had seen what I had just done to Belessa, and in his eyes was a strange mixture of horror and relief.

“Belessa, there is no need for us to fight,” he said, having been informed telepathically of the nearby mirror’s nature by Sparkillo. “Join us, join us against Vanthus! The evil version of you is dead, we can be allies now!”

Now that my nemesis was gone, my mind reeled, struggled to find a purpose, tried to determine what should be the next course of action. One of my friends had just been killed, another one was being beset by our adversaries, and yet, I couldn’t bear myself to harm these people who looked so much like us. I was still under the delusion that we had been on a crucial mission against a fiend named Vanthus, and now that lizardman who looked so much like the black-scaled reptilian tyrant in my own group, offered an alliance.

I called for a truce. I pleaded with them to stop attacking Ragflu the dwarven defender. But they did not heed my words. Ragflu fought valiantly – he was almost invulnerable. But he was still driven by his insane urge to kill his opposite, Ulfgar, and there were four of them against him. They tried desperately to capture him alive, but his powerful ring of Freedom of Movement prevented them from doing so. They saw only one option: to kill him. I tried to help, but my own paralyzing spells failed to affect his nemesis, Ulfgar. Finally, after a long battle in which he truly gave them hell, badly wounding his dwarven double, my companion fell under their powerful weapons and the fiery blasts of their wizard, Sparkillo. I will never forget the look in his eyes, as he fell, as he stared at me with incomprehension and disappointment: always, he had been able to count on my magical healing. But I had failed him in this final fight. I had not called upon Sune to heal him.

“Stop! STOP!!!” roared Raguhl at his companions so they would stay their blades. “Give her a chance to keep him alive! He can join us against Vanthus too!”

I hurried to Ragflu’s side, fighting back the tears that welled at the corners of my eyes. I quickly whispered a simple healing prayer to stabilize his wounds and prevent him from dying of internal bleeding.

“It’s done!” I said in a voice choked by emotions. I looked at all of them and saw much hatred in their eyes.

“You f+#$ing whore! What have you done to Belessa???” roared Ulfgar, raising his axe in my direction.

Lagaan also glowered at me balefully, while Sparkillo seemed completely confused, looking from the smoking remains of Belessa and back to me. The only one among them who did not seem overly hostile was Raguhl.

“Calm down, guys,” he said. “Don’t you see the opportunity we have? She came from a mirror of opposition! That means she’s Belessa’s opposite! Her soul is pure! She can join us in our quest… She’s just like Belessa, but better!”

“B@%++!~#…” growled Ulfgar.

“Raguhl is correct, mostly,” said Sparkillo. “Her magical equipment is of ephemeral nature and will vanish within the hour, but this pseudo-Belessa is a true being, just like Belessa is… was…” he added sadly.

“So will you really help us?” asked Lagaan, looking at me.

“I… err… Yes, I think.” I was still very confused at that point. My mind was still struggling with the enormity of the situation. I was in the process of realizing that I had in fact just been born. That I had not existed until a minute before. That the only reason I existed was because fate had brought an evil priestess called Belessa Darkwave through a portal to the Abyss, in a twisted version of Vanderboren Manor, in front of a mirror of opposition, and that bad luck, her eternal enemy, had deemed that she would perish at my hand.

“So you’re just like Belessa… you can do what she can do?” asked Lagaan.

“I… I’m not sure. I’m a priestess of Sune, so my powers are surely different from hers. But I’m very surprised that you would be allied with such an evil priestess. Why?”

“Belessa might not have been a little angel,” conceded Lagaan, “but we liked her as she was. So if you’ve got her powers, show us and resurrect her.”

“What?” I asked him with wide eyes. “I can’t… I can’t do that!”

“What if we give you the proper motivation?” asked Ulfgar threateningly.

“It’s not that I don’t want to… I can’t bring back someone who’s been destroyed by this kind of magic!”

“So Belessa is dead for real?” asked Lagaan with a grimace.

“Yes,” Sparkillo and I replied in unison.

A moment of heavy silence followed.

“Well here’s what I do with your friend, then!” said Ulfgar grimly as he brought his axe down and chopped off Ragflu’s head.

I howled in shock as the rest of the group berated Ulfgar for his brutal, treacherous and needless act – but I would later learn that it wasn’t his first. Just as Ragflu had been lawful and honorable in my unreal reverse-world, Ulfgar in this world was a cold-hearted and spiteful killer.

My memory of the following minutes is kind of hazy. The undeniable evidence that I was just a reflection of the real Belessa clashed with all these memories in my mind; the hopes, dreams and fears that felt as if they had naturally accumulated within my soul over a period of thirty years. Sparkillo explained the theory to me, but most of his words were just background noise to the storm of my inner thoughts. Apparently, there was no way back for me into the world that I knew – or thought I knew. I couldn’t go back through the mirror, because there was nothing to go back to. My version of the world (the Remembered Realms) did not exist. But as I had slain Belessa, the “original” version of me – I had gained her aspect of reality. I was now as real as she had ever been… Not just a magical creation. I could breathe, eat, live, age, and die… Just like a regular person.

I had taken her place in this existence…

I had become the new Belessa…