Artevious de Poisson's page

Huzzah! Indeed, I am always ready for fantastic deeds of derring-do upon the tempestuous waters of the Shackles!

Hmmm... this might be the opportunity for me to complete my epic saga! I have been abducted by the dreadful denizens of the Wormwood on no fewer than two previous occasions. And though the names of my staunch allies have changed, both times we threw off the yoke of indentured servitude and started to chart our own course. Yet that, alas, is where my story foundered.

Here is the first chronicle of my adventures.

And here is the second.

@YBD: this might be not what you were planning, and that's fair. But consider skimming the adventures of Captain Artevious Poisson -- a cross between Bertie Wooster and Guybrush Threepwood. He's a humorous character and a delight to write. I'm just not interested in running through The Wormwood Mutiny a third time with him. If selected, I'd like to pick up somewhere around the second book with an amalgamation of his two prior campaigns as background.

As for me, you can see that I've been on these boards a long time. I'm a huge proponent of character development, watching them change and grow over time. I've seen some of my characters develop from a callous, cynical scoundrel to a staunch hero and loyal teammate, and from a timid, bullied Pathfinder wash-out to a powerful spellcaster and queen (and more). So I am definitely a "long haul" player.

What ho! Sails ahoy! Who'd like to shove off with the scion of a true pirate legend!?

(This is a humorous character, if you're interested in someone like that. I envision him as a "Bertie Wooster meets Guybrush Threepwood" sort. I've played him in two separate campaigns here on these boards, but never got farther than the first chapter of the second book. If guns are allowed, I'll probably retool him into a Musketeer archetype of the Swashbuckler. If no guns, then probably just straight Swashbuckler.)

Artevious de Poisson, son of the infamous Ricardo de Poisson, reporting for fortune and glory!

"Well, I suppose it wouldn't be a drought if the water were plentiful," I reasoned.

When we came upon the next campsite, it was again time to ready ourselves for the night. The wasps had been a harrowing but manageable fight, and I was looking forward to discovering the cause of the mysterious lack of water. I hoped our next day would be fruitful.

"Let's do the same watches as before. Cueta has the first watch with Tug, Esmarelda and Rizz take second watch. Aqguazula, if you're still willing to take two watches, I'll take third with you and you take last watch with Harmony."

"Wait. What? No," I said as I took a step back to protect my hat. "It's an expression. My hat comes off in a gesture of respect, but then it returns to its owner. Me."

The nearly feral gnome was completely unversed in social mores. I decided to try to distract her. "Shouldn't you be checking to see if the wasps are edible?"

"Huzzah!" I shouted after a battle well-fought. The buzzing beasts had come upon us swiftly, but we far outmatched them in martial prowess.

When Sandara asked about healing, I looked down and realized I too had been injured. It wasn't something I would normally be terribly concerned with, except we were traversing a thoroughly unsanitary jungle.

"Aye, I was also wounded. But see to it that the others are looked after first," I told her.

While she administered to those who took wounds, I kicked at the rather impressive corpses of the giant wasps. They had begun to curl up in the classic pose of a dead bug, but seeing one very nearly the size of a horse do the same as their tiny brethren was quite surreal.

"I daresay that was quite an impressive battle, against a foe that would send many people quailing in fright. In fact, I've seen grown, large men shrink from one of the tiny specimens. These are truly nightmarish in proportion. My hats off to you all."

"That's the encouragement I need," I said to Esmarelda with a quick wink in her direction. Then I readied myself to parry the wasp's sting if it came in my direction.

I had felled the giant wasp going after me, so it was now time to take the fight to the foul arthropods. I moved up to the one attacking Cueta, since she was beset with a buzzing bug that had managed to give her a grievous wound.

Melee: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (17) + 10 = 27
Damage plus Precise Strike: 1d6 + 7 + 4 ⇒ (6) + 7 + 4 = 17

I readied myself the best I could to prepare for the buzzing assault of the oversized wasps. However, they came in at such a pace that I scarcely had my cutlass freed from its sheath before the vespid had stabbed me with its stinger.

Thankfully, a pair had been felled before they reached us by some accurate archery, so the wasps' numbers had been thinned. It was my job to thin them further.

Melee: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (9) + 10 = 19
Damage plus Precise Strike: 1d6 + 7 + 4 ⇒ (3) + 7 + 4 = 14

After slashing at the giant wasp in front of me, I readied my defenses to block its attack.

Fort (plus Charmed Life): 1d20 + 3 + 2 ⇒ (15) + 3 + 2 = 20

I had been entirely perplexed about where to find our next camp site. We had traveled an entire day without finding the reason why the water was flowing slower than normal. The problem was, we didn't exactly know what "normal" was. But our guide did not have any particular concern that the river was back to the way it ought to be, so I trusted his judgment.

Thankfully, the sharp eye of Cueta identified a spot of land a nice distance from the river bank. "Good job!" I said earnestly, and set about pulling the tents and camping supplies from the boats to haul up to the spot she identified.

I set about assembling the third tent while our master at arms dug into the mud along the bank of the river. An odd chap, I must say.

I listened to Harmony's hope for what we'll find upriver. "That sounds like quite the odd fashion choice for a vessel of fierce pirates. Especially if the menfolk wear the fuzzy articles. I daresay that would strike a very different sort of fear in our enemies," I mused.

"That works out then!" I reasoned. "You can also watch with Harmony on the last hours of the night."

Our progress was slow, yet steady. All in all, a perfectly serviceable first day's outing, if not ideal. The old dock was a fine spot to make camp, and I heartily agreed with Tug.

"Good job, everyone! Let's set about to make this camp as comfortable as can be had, shall we? First order should be checking the area at hand to make sure we're not intruding too close to the lair of some creature. Then we'll set a small campfire and a watch."

I considered the watch order. "Rizz and Aqguazula, I expect you each have better night vision than the rest of us. So you two would need to have separate watches, and during the darkest time of night. Cueta, why don't you take first watch with Tug, Esmarelda and Rizz take second watch, I'll take third watch with Aqguazula, and Harmony, you take last watch."

"Capital idea!" I agreed with Sandara. "Yes, Esmarelda, we'll take our jolly and Mr. Tug will use his to make sure we have ample space for the lot of us. That way, in case Rizz finds a croc's flavor to her liking, we'll be able to bring a haunch or two back with us."

I waited until the boats were positioned at the mouth of the river and lent my assistance where necessary. "Right, then! Adventure lies upstream!"

I was pleased that many of my stalwart companions agreed to take part of this spot of adventure. I also couldn't help but be glad that Aqguazula decided to come along, since I wondered if he would have decided to make mischief while the captain was away from the vessel. Instead, Gall and Kroop were able-bodied souls who would manage affairs whilst we were away.

"Rizz, I suppose you have time for one more small drink while our guide gets his wits about him. But considering we will be trekking through the jungle, I would advise that drink be water."

Our party was assembled, and we had managed to procure a guide, though Cueta's own apparent knowledge of the various hazards of a jungle trek would be useful as well.

"Jolly good!" I extolled. "I believe the dangers we'll face will be the source for yet another rousing tale! And we save quite a bit of coin getting our ship in shape."

I then turned to the man who had offered himself as a guide. "What's your name, good sir? And since you suggest we go by boat, would you happen to have one available? Otherwise, I suppose we could use the jolly on our vessel. Actually, let's do that, then. Should we get the waters running again, we can ride back with ease all the way to our ship."

Indeed! Huzzah!

I nodded my agreement with Esmarelda, then escorted her ashore. I decided that it would be best to gather the officers before they were too far into their cups. The sooner we could finish the business of refitting and renaming our ship, the sooner we'll be back on the high seas, being proper pirates.

Finding most of the crew in the small tavern, I hailed my comrades. "Look alive, mates! We have ourselves a bit of an adventure. A mystery, even! If we can figure out what's got the jungle stream down to a trickle, and better yet, get the waters flowing again, Rickety will give us a sharp discount on the refit. Part of the pirate's life is never knowing where the winds of fate will take you. Now, I daresay, they're blowing inland! Who's up for a little walk now that you've got land under your feet?"

I rubbed my chin as I pondered the man's offer. I had to admit, after our previous tropical island adventure I wasn't overfond of another so soon. Yet, the promise of one reduction of the cost bringing the price of the squibbing within our means -- and the possibility of even further reduction if our search yields a tale or two to tell -- was simply too much to pass up.

"You're in luck!" I announced. "We have quite the experienced band of jungle trotters, so we'll find the source of your water woes and deal with the problem if there's a solution to be had!"

I again proffered my hand for a shake, then turned to Esmarelda once we were out of earshot of Rickety. "As quartermaster, you know as well as I that our coffers do not run so deep as to meet the man's price. I can sell the magical short sword to make up around half, but we'll still need to do this man's favor to bring the price within reach. We'll have to collect whoever is yet sober and get underway as quick as we're able. Unless you can think of another source of coin?"

The price he demanded was still far and away beyond what was left by Plugg, but I had one ace in the hole: the magical short sword gifted me by none other than Captain Harrigan himself. Its value should overcome whatever deficit we may yet face after we perform this task. I felt it somewhat ironic: the gift being the very means for us to escape his notice, for a time at least. I actually had no intentions of hiding overlong.

"We have an accord!" I readily agreed, offering him my hand for a shake. "What sort of task is it? We'll be on it forthwith, so you might as well get your tools and materials ready!"

Actually, using the rope to swing across the deck would be something Artevious would encourage.

I managed to keep the reaction to the man's exorbitant sum off my face, but just barely. Our vessel did not have that amount in treasure -- I'm rightly not sure how Plugg intended to modify the Man's Promise with the pittance in his chest.

I put my most winning smile to the test, as I laughed at his wordplay. "Indeed!" I agreed. "And certainly no other vessel will sport finer lines than she once you're done. But you forget, good sir, that I am my father's son. And he never takes the first offer. You'll have to do far better than that. As I see it, you have the chance to witness the illustrious start of the next Captain Poisson -- truly a treasure in its own right. And furthermore, my worthy crew has myriad skills, so there must also be some service we could provide you in exchange for lowering the gold you require?"

Diplomacy: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (7) + 10 = 17

I think that's what we have to use to squb the ship. Unless we have another 2,000 gp lying around somewhere?

Absolutely. Take care of yourself.

I beamed brightly as Rickety asked his question. I proudly placed my hands on my hips. "Quite so! I am none other than his son. Artevious de Poisson, son of Captain Ricardo de Poisson and the Contessa de la Montaigne. At your service," I doffed my hat with a quick nod. "Indeed, I have come to these waters to make my own mark, and to guide my crew to fortune and fame.

"Were you acquainted with my father? I had a bit of a rough go at first, so you may be the first I've met familiar with the man and not simply the legend."

"They're called 'galleys' on a ship, Rizz," I explained. The gnome lass certainly was concerned about her next meal.

"And we're procuring the services of these fine fellows to make a few adjustments to her profile." I turned to face Rickety. "I'm not mistaken, am I? That is your trade?"

I tried to ease the tension that seemed quite unnecessary, considering that these fellows wouldn't be in business if they accosted every ship that sailed into their cove. Seeing that Mr. Rickety knew our esteemed cook and vice-versa, I laughed to ease the tension.

"Ho! Quite right you are, my good man. I am none other than Artevious de Poisson, captain of this stout vessel and her mighty crew. I know of you only by reputation, however, through Mr. Kroop has already made your acquaintance obviously."

I offered him a firm handshake and a tip of my hat to the rest of his men. "I have heard you can do wonders with a ship when she needs a... fresh start, if you will."

We were finally under sail and charting our own course, and I must say it was a welcome relief. Even the wind and the waves seemed to agree much was right with the world.

When we glided around the embankment and approached our destination, I stood on the deck and waved to the person who greeted us. "Hail and well met! Permission granted. Come aboard, because we have business to discuss!"

Yes, I know. My handle is Stalwart, and I'm suggesting the name for the ship be The Stalwart Worthy. It's not vanity, but a name I thought of that would be perfect for the character of Artevious. Feel free to come up with something better!

With the course set and the wind in our sails, I stood upon the forecastle with my arms folded. Aqguazula was ensuring a fair yet strict watch on the crew as the ship cut through the waters.

I mused. So far, the only suggestion voiced regarding our vessel's new moniker was the Dinner Bell, which I felt didn't necessarily strike fear in the hearts of those who hear it.

I was determined to be a fair captain. I wanted the crew to know that I valued their input and ideas. I knew there would be fantastic names for ships that I hadn't thought of, so I wanted to hear their ideas. But I wondered if anyone could offer a name that was better than the one that sat in my heart from the very first day I learned of my father's trade. The name that came to me as if my father himself had placed it in my mind. The ship that I would captain to the day of my dying breath.

The Stalwart Worthy.

I plotted the course and set the helmsman to follow it. Then I turned to Esmarelda, who had been waiting patiently. "Yes, certainly. What is on your mind?"

I thought I did that already. Do I need to make a roll?

"That was the point all along," I said, after finally learning of Plugg's original destination. Much as I was loath to follow along with that mutineer's plans, it was still the most prudent course of action.

I plotted the course and set the helmsman to follow it. Then I turned to Esmarelda, who had been waiting patiently. "Yes, certainly. What is on your mind?"

And I was hoping to find out where we're going next.

I winked at Sandara. "Indeed, my dear. I would ever want the favor of the Pirate Queen as we ply these waters to plunder and pillage."

Mister Plugg left us with a fair amount of coin, but no great fortune. I would have to hope that it will be enough to have the Man's Promise refitted and repaired to a decent pirate vessel. I used the charts left within his cabin to plot our course to the shipyard that would be able to do the job, figuring that Plugg at the very least knew that much.

Rizz's question was something I'd been meaning to address at the right opportunity, so I seized the opportunity.

"Rizz, this vessel used to be called the Man's Promise, a name I feel should be changed. It does not strike fear in the hearts of those who would hear it's name being mentioned. And of course, Captain Harrigan knows this ship's name."

As the ship's sails were being unfurled and readied for our first voyage under my captaincy, I announced to the crew, "Listen up, lads! As we sail to have our vessel refit and rechristened, we're going to have to have a new name for her! An extra half-share of treasure from our first prize for the one who comes up with the best name!"

Esmarelda's grisly suggestion did not sit well with me. Maheem's offense against her warranted retribution, I could agree, but it seemed detestable.

Furthermore, I had to consider the fact that he committed no crime against me or the crew since I became captain. His fate -- marooning or being put to death -- was under my authority because of his alliance with Plugg. His business with Esmarelda had to be between them without my official sanction.

Marooning for the rest of the prisoners seemed to be the decision of the Bosun and the Master of Arms, and I for one was glad for their restraint. I disliked the thought of starting my captaincy off with an execution.

"So be it. Send them off, and let's be done with this island."

I think they're Rahadoumi, so they won't much care for your divine magic. :/

Yes, I know the difference between gilding and gelding, but I just couldn't resist.

And really? 47? Wow.

"Why would covering him in gold be a punishment?"

My first mate reminded me of another unpleasant situation. I turned to her as I considered the fate of those lives who had surrendered to us, or who had managed to survive our prowess.

I shook my head. "Offer them a choice. Either they can stay here on this island with Plugg, wherever he's swam off to. Or they come with us in chains. Well, make sure Esmarelda has a chance to have her reckoning with Maheem first."

I met Aqguazula's stare evenly, but didn't respond to his veiled threat. It wasn't my intention to go down with the ship if it could be avoided -- my father had lost ships in his adventures -- but obviously I wasn't planning on losing a ship at all.

I took a moment with Harmony to assign roles to the crew, now that several other positions had opened up. Cueta was named boatswain, Esmarelda the quartermaster, Gall the cook, and Rizz the chief rigger. While I toyed with the idea of naming Aqguazula a swab given his propensity to stain the deck red with his messy way of dealing with bodies, I capitulated to Harmony's idea of making him master of arms. It was fitting, I suppose, since he had four of them.

With that business completed, I knew our next task would be to choose a course and destination. I thought on that briefly, and came to a decision.

"It occurs to me," I began once the ship's officers were assembled, "that Plugg may have had the right idea. We're a long way from Port Peril; remember Kroop mentioned we were headed to a place where this ship would be refit to be unrecognizable? Why not do the same? I expect the charts in Plugg's -- my cabin -- will tell us where we need to go.

"Besides," I added, "I'll want someone to look at the repairs from the storm, and make sure she's in tip-top shape. Esmarelda, we'll need an accounting of our goods and wares. Plugg obviously thought he could afford it, but I'm not going to trust his assessment alone. I'll be in my cabin plotting our course. See me once you're done."

With that, I checked out the captain's cabin to see what Plugg had left for me.

Hope you understand, Aq, but you have to realize that a captain has to deal with someone who won't acknowledge his authority.

It had seemed that my bid to become captain had succeeded, but it was hardly a resounding victory. I was under no illusions that I had scant time to show myself a capable and worthy captain. And Aqguazula was presenting himself to be disruptive from the very start.

The sea creature committed a gruesome display with one of the fresh corpses, then openly challenged my capabilities. Were I to hope for even an evening of the captaincy, I would have to address the challenge forthwith.

I winked at Esmarelda's request that we talk in private, agreeing to do so but only after more pressing matters were attended to.

First, as the surviving crew were assembled upon the decks of the Man's Promise, I addressed them. "Friends, sailors, and piratey scalawags, lend me your ears. We've overthrown the yoke of tyranny by the likes of Mister Plugg and Master Scourge. They have paid for their mutinous actions against Captain Harrigan. Now, however, no doubt that cruel captain will lump us all together as mutineers and see us hanged, so we cannot go back to him. I daresay even Harmony could not spin a tale to put ourselves back into his good graces.

"And I say, good riddance! We've no reason to remain loyal to that black-hearted villain, when we've ourselves a ship and the wherewithal to chart our own destiny! We'll find our fortunes on these waters, our infamy will grow, and soon we'll be known as one of the fiercest crews of pirates on the Shackles! Mark my words, as Artevious de Poisson, your captain!"

Diplomacy: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (19) + 10 = 29

I waited for the cheers to die down, then turned my attention to the sea creature.

"Aqguazula!" I shouted, clear and ringing through the rigging. "You have made it clear that you will not accept me as captain. That is your right, as I am not, nor will I ever be the sort of captain who would enslave another soul into working for me. If I cannot be your captain, then you will not be a member of this crew. You can be off now and enjoy your time on this island, or you can barter passage to our next port of call. Please see my first in command, Harmony Leading, to make the arrangements if you wish."

It had to be done. One hand resting lightly on the hilt of my cutlass, I awaited Aqguazula's response.

My eyes narrowed as Harmony spoke her piece. It cut cruelly, not least of which because it was my mother who penned the tales of my father's adventures.

Anger would serve no purpose here, I resolved. A great captain had to keep his head about him when challenged for his right to retain his command. So I silently allowed her to finish, and see if there were any who shared her sentiment.

The sea creature we rescued spoke the most, my fair dalliance being conflicted and Cueta seeming to favor myself with the captaincy and Harmony my second. I disliked the cruel glint in his eyes as he suggested the command structure with Harmony first and he second. I had to wonder, based on his repeated allusions to his past, that Harmony would be in a most precarious spot were his suggestion to come to pass.

No, I decided. I must continue to press my case, not least of which to keep our newest crew member firmly out of the command structure. At least until I could ascertain his true nature.

I held up my cutlass, still dripping with Scourge's blood. "I'm a child, you say? Then I'm a child with the life's blood of the very soul who pressganged you, Gall, Cueta and Esmarelda into slavery. I'm a child whose purse is weighted down with gold, won for being the one who slew the most of the defenders of the Man's Promise. I'm a child who held off the hordes of grindylows at bay when they threatened to overwhelm us and allowed you to effect the rescue of Conchobar and Sandara."

I turned to Aqguazula, allowing a fierce glint to appear in my eye. "You're new here, so I will forgive you your ignorance of my battle prowess and my ability to strike fear in the hearts of our enemies. But I defy any within the sound of my voice to say that I spoke untrue."

I turned then to the crowd arrayed around me, looking at each of them in turn. "My father's deeds have taught me much, and ever will I look to them for guidance. I shall make no apologies for doing so. Do I want my own adventures to one day find themselves in books? Of course! Who wouldn't want bards to sing of their great deeds?

"But don't mistake my lofty goals of grand adventure upon the high seas for a mere child's fancy. This is destiny! There is fortune and glory to be found on these waters, and I aim to find it! For all the crew!"

I swept my gaze across the assembled crew, ending fixed upon Harmony. "A trusted second-in-command is vital for a captain. I would ever listen to her counsel. If she were capable of trusting her captain." I arched a challenging eyebrow.

I need to respond, but don't have the time until this evening!

I hope no one's toes feel stepped-upon by my bid to be captain. Obviously, Artevious is designed to be a humorous character, so I don't plan on being too "in your face" about being captain. He's romanticized the whole thing -- especially about being loyal to his crew -- that it should go relatively smoothly. But let me know if you really want to be captain, and we can probably make arrangements. Or, perhaps, we'll have to find and capture us more vessels so we all can be captains!

"Quite true!" I agreed with Aqguazula. "I've not heard of such a thing as a four-armed pirate before. Although my father did go on a hunt for a six-fingered man at one point."

My attention quickly turned back to the question of who would be captain. "Well, then. Choosing our captain appears to be our next order of business, does it not?" I asked, a nervous twist occurring in my stomach. I was ever cognizant of my destiny as a feared and fierce pirate of the Shackles, but there was also the matter of prudence; allowing events to unfold as they will. One does not fight destiny, but one should not force destiny either. But I could not help myself. I had to make my desire known, and to state my case.

Clearing my throat, I began. "I do believe that we have souls amongst our number who would no doubt be outstanding captains. Humility must be set aside and I would volunteer my name to be included in that list, but by no means do I seek to wrest that title for the mere grasping at power like Plugg or Scourge. No. I say again: No! I would mean to take this vessel to fortune and glory for all aboard her. I submit my desire to be captain to you fine fellows -- and ladies -- and the will of the Pirate Queen herself. Should I be found wanting, I would turn over the helm to Harmony, Cueta, Esmarelda, or even the Owlbear if that be the will of the crew. But mark my words, I have every intention of following in the great wake of my father, and if I achieve half of the mighty deeds he did in his time, then we shall all have the adventure of our lives!"

I waited with anticipation as I looked in the eyes of the crew. "What say you?"

Just in case it's roll:
level 4 hp: 1d10 ⇒ 10

Do we roll for hp? Or do we take half hp +1?

I've seen it both ways.

The man known as Scourge did not wish to go down, I had to give him that. After surviving a nice cut by myself, Gall, and Cueta, he remained standing and in the fight. I leveled him a steady gaze as I swung my cutlass with a flourish. "Scourge, you face the son of the great Ricardo de Poisson."

Cutlass: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (19) + 9 = 28
Damage plus Precise Strike: 1d6 + 8 ⇒ (6) + 8 = 14
Confirm crit: 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (13) + 9 = 22
Damage: 1d6 + 8 ⇒ (5) + 8 = 13

My blade slipped past his defenses and was thrust deeply into his side. I leaned forward so his last vision was of only me. "My name is Artevious," I said with a deadly grin. "And your master is next."