Simulacrum of Vraxeris the Illusionist

Aroden's page

84 posts. Alias of KaeYoss.


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By my divine power, I declare this KaeYoss guy the winner!


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Evil Midnight Lurker wrote:
It was an orangutan. Once they have you by the leg, it's all over.

Shouldn't have called him a monkey. They don't like that.


MicMan wrote:
Aroden: Lemming

I don't concern myself with animals, except for their paragon. My "mascot", if you will, is Man.

What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals!


You get a short vacation and people talk about you being dead. That Iomedae was supposed to answer the phone till I'm back.

Did she declare me dead and take over my operation again?


Davor wrote:
they waited for the return of their dead god.

It took me millennia after my people died before I ascended to divinity. I wasn't their god.

Back in my pre-immortal days, religion in Azlant was in some ways just like it is today, though it was different in others.

A lot of our old gods are still around today, though my fellow Azlanti wouldn't recognise them.

Just a minor point.


DarkArt wrote:

I agree in enjoying the finality of Aroden's demise. With so many anguished to keep save-or-die crunch to the rules, it's refreshing to me to see such lethality encroach upon the gods as well.

I'd think any Spock-type resurfacing would be a bit cheesy IMO.

(Although if it involved any kind of deific/immortal sex-prison, I'm all for it. . . Woo-HOO!!! Especially if said module was crafted by Mr. Logue.)

I find your idea of a sex-prison for that deity-person called Aroden intriguing. We should open a more private channel of communication to further explore the possibilities of this concept.


Andro wrote:
Paging Mr. Aroden

Paging? That's so Age of Enthronement! As a god of civilisation and progress, I move with the times. You can catch me on my cell. No facebook, though - those "social networks" are the death of civilisation, and thus I oppose them, of course.

If you can get your hands on Guide to Absalom, you'll get a bit more of Aroden-lore. After all, I created that city.

They'll tell you of a few things I did myself that are still there. Some of the buildings "supposedly built by Aroden himself" aren't mine, actually, but you can easily spot them by the inferior architectural design and sloppy (even for human standards) craftsmanship.

I'd tell you why I raised the Starstone and the isle of Kortos, and created the city of Absalom one fine day, but I keep that stuff close to the chest for now. I'm almost done writing my memoirs, though, and I go on about it at length in there (a couple dozen of volumes are about those topics, each).


I am Aroden, God of humanity. I hereby declare that KaeYoss wins!


Arazni, Harlot Queen of Geb wrote:
James Jacobs wrote:
Arazni never took the test of the Starstone. She probably WOULD have, had she survived the crusade against Tar-Baphon. She never got the chance, though.
Would it not make for an interesting story if I got the idea to take the test now?

Assuming your "husband" lets you off the leash.


CAPTAIN CAJUN wrote:
What would you do on your first day as Supreme Ruler

Bah. Been there, done that, got the starstone.

And some weird upper-body garment. Says: "I went through all the trouble ascending to godhood, and all I got was this T-Shirt. And Dead."


James Jacobs wrote:
Aroden wrote:
BACKSTABBING, SCHEMING BASTARDS wrote:


Aroden: None
This is how you thank me?
Dead god talking!

And I'm looking way better than 'Raz.

How the mighty have fallen and all that.

Is this Stranger Eons yet?


BACKSTABBING, SCHEMING BASTARDS wrote:


Aroden: None

This is how you thank me?


Mikaze wrote:
Pual wrote:
Of course, if dead people can be made not dead, then, presumably, so could dead gods.

Only if they want to though!

Which would beg the question: Why would Aroden not want to come back?

Would it undo some heroic sacrifice?

Or is there something that would make him actually prefer to hide in death?

The TV reception is better here. And I get broadband internet access.


Chosen of Iomedae wrote:
Aroden's nor dead, you Blasphemers

Preach it!

Stories of my demise are greatly exaggerated!

As for your questions: Paladins are nice. The problem is just that they insist on putting a strong focus on the concept known as goodness. That gets in the way of absolute order. So they weren't really my first and finest warriors. They lacked a certain pragmatism.


Oh ye of little faith! You take a short vacation and your whole home country goes straight to hell - quite literally.


Themetricsystem wrote:


I think a better strategy to this would be to name yourself after say... a dead god. :D You know the one I am talking about, maybe people would FINALLY get over it if that were to happen.

What did I ever do to you, you ingrate? Ever since I've been on holidy, my Chosen Race has gone downhill!


LazarX wrote:
You don't think that Paizo diced for the fate of the diety that Asmodeus replaced as patron of Cheliax?

Yes, they did. That damn die is still spinning.


FallofCamelot wrote:
Themetricsystem wrote:
What DID happen to aroden? Has that been clarified at all in anything? It really confounds me.

He's on hold

"Thank you for waiting. Your call is important to us and will be answered shortly..."

And the muzak they make you listen is profane!

And meanwhile my old charwoman has taken over my business while I wait for this.

You just don't get decent service in this multiverse any more. I blame the proteans.


Stereofm wrote:


Now, it does not NEED to be like this on Golarion, but for a homebrew, you could rule that way, and surmise that A. is not dead but just imprisoned. Maybe he is held caged in some great cosmic device to prevent the Worldwound from opening further, and is "as good as dead", and the quest of his remaining servants to free him could cause an even greater disaster ???

Pennies for your thoughts

What do you mean, "you could rule"? I'm not dead. I'm not imprisoned, either. What am I, a Rough Beast? Or part of a divine soap opera where misunderstandings will get you killed but doing the most horrible deeds will get you house arrest?

I just took some time off, is all. I'll be back in no time (it may just seem lifetimes to you brief mortals. That's because you don't try enough. I was human once, too. Didn't stop me. And it's not as if you cannot do it, too - a drunkard ascended for My sake!)


James Jacobs wrote:


More to the point, part of Golarion's theme is that Aroden is dead and his church is more or less gone.

INFIDEL!

*SMITE!!!*

I said: *SMITE!!!*

Must have forgotten to recharge it. Consider yourself lucky, mortal! But persist in your heresy and see what you get yourself into.


KaeYoss wrote:
Think of the Test of the Starstone as an epic adventure. It might be different for everyone. You go into that cathedral, and face challenges nobody knows about. Except a dead guy, a drunkard, a chick who lost the way to the kitchen and the loner kid who plays all secretive because he's invisible to the rest of the class. None of them will talk.

You forgot me. And who's the dead guy?

Anyway, I put up the whole test thing, and all I can say is: Surprise!


KaeYoss wrote:


So you can either stick to your belief in Aroden - the actual god Aroden who is more than just a sum of ideals, but happens to be dead and unable to send you power - or you can start to belief in the things Aroden used to stand for. That way, you can still get magic, but you won't be a cleric of Aroden.

To everyone who does that: I find your lack of faith disturbing. Those who cop out like that will be in trouble once I return.


Calixymenthillian wrote:
Kthulhu wrote:
Since we have B5 Shadows, will you also be statting up battlecrabs and the Shadow Planet Killer ?
And how long until Mr. Morden arrives in Absalom to ask the PFS faction leaders "What do you want?"

Who are you?


Tom Qadim wrote:
KaeYoss wrote:
I think he ascended the moment he got the Starstone.
Yes, that's right. He was an immortal Azlanti human (the Last Azlanti, in fact) before the Starstone struck Golarion. After he raised the Starstone from the sea, he "ascended to the Heavens".

How rude. The way you talk behind my back - right to my face!


I've always been godlike.


seekerofshadowlight wrote:
mere gods

Care to say that to my face?


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Lisa Stevens wrote:

Interestingly, Vic and I were slated to write Chronomancer for Mayfair Games, but Magic: The Gathering hit and WotC bought me out of my contract with Mayfair and somebody else ended up writing Chronomancer. Then, when TSR and Mayfair settled their lawsuit, TSR ended up with Chronomancer, which they then published. I still have all of my notes for Chronomancer and would LOVE to write a rulebook that outlines the ideas Vic and I had. I really think that we did a killer job of coming up with ideas about how time travel worked. Hmmm, perhaps I need to talk to Mr. Mona. :)

-Lisa

So that's why you killed me!

You read what I said, went back in time, and killed me. Damn your filthy chronomancy!

And I'm not dead!


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No way! I'd die first!


psionichamster wrote:

Aroden, wasn't he that guy who punched the Hulk till he turned back into banner? I think they shot him with some crazy red laser beam from space, too.

Mighta been some other bloke, though.

-t

You're rambling, man, I never hit any hulks. And I don't beat people into banners. That sort of brutality is more Rovagug's deal, maybe Gorum's.

Definitely! I can see them beat someone until they're flat and hang them from their lance.


ericthecleric wrote:
He formed a prog-rock supergroup and has written several concept albums about it.

Have you heard our new song? It's three hundred years long, including a 50 year guitar solo by yours truly.

Next time, we go back to the longer songs our fans have come to expect from us.


James Jacobs wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
But is he still standing in line waiting to see Lady death?
Nope. Pharasma already sent him on, and she's not talking about WHERE she sent him.

That's because she cannot pronounce "boudoir".


Chris Mortika wrote:
In three years, Paizo will be releasing a new campaign setting, entirely separate from Golarion. It'll have psionics, magic dune buggies, and a race of savage barbarians that can shrink to Tiny size at will. There'll be one god. Three guesses who.

Well, I'll loooove dune buggies.

Can we have nice drinks with outrageous names, like "Orgasm" and "Screwdriver", too? I'll do the gig if I can have them, and be God of Mental Power, Savage Shrinkage, and Drinks With Outrageous Names. I was getting sick to death of this prophecy and humans crap.


I'm not really dead. My repeat God Application just wasn't filed. I gave it to my secretary, and she forgot it, because she was yapping about "goodness must prevail over evil" or something equally empty-headed, and now I'll have to wait a couple of centuries until I can get my status back.

My old secretary was better, too bad she's all corpsified now.


D&D? THIS! IS! PATHFINDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

*kicks wizard into bottomless hole*


KaeYoss wrote:
Damon Griffin wrote:


Since Aroden's death, prophecy doesn't work. Stop.

What does that mean in the short term? Given enough time, maybe the metaverse will recover and prophecy will be back on track. But right now, today, 4709 AR, what does it mean? How are Harrow decks and ordinary Divination spells affected? (Not spells like Detect Whatever, but things like Augury, Commune, etc.)

They work exactly as the rules say.

I think that was the biggest metagame reason behind this: As diviniations in D&D are often not 100% certain, and prophecy should never be inevitable, they explained why exactly that stuff didn't work perfectly.

Exactly. It goes all the way through Golarion, Pathfinder, even Paizo. I mean, Paizo claims I'm stone dead forever, when I'm obviously not. That shows the fundamental nature of this situation!


Iomedae wrote:
Moorluck wrote:
Aroden wrote:
KaeYoss wrote:

Aroden's clerics don't get spells.

Because they've all been very naugty!
So why punish them?
he still complains for the fact that they joined my clergy and I am the one giving them their power... excepto the evil ones... I think they where the ones who began the corruption of Cheliax while we fighted in the Worldwound...

Let me present to you Iomedae, Goddess of Naughty.


Moorluck wrote:
Aroden wrote:
KaeYoss wrote:

Aroden's clerics don't get spells.

Because they've all been very naugty!
So why punish them?

Because I'm all about behaving. I don't care whether you cry when Bambi's mother dies in the film, but you better eat all your spinach.


KaeYoss wrote:

Aroden's clerics don't get spells.

Because they've all been very naugty!


The Spirit of FaWTL thread wrote:
NOPE, HE'S DEAD. I WAS THE ONE WHO FOUND HIS BODY... IN THE TRUNK OF A USED '67 CAMARO I BOUGHT FROM THIS GUY. HE WAS IN THERE WITH SOME DUCT TAPE, A LIVE CHICKEN, AND SOME PEACH PRESERVES... I DON'T WANNA KNOW."

That was one of the best parts of my plan. You made the perfect "witness".

That corpse was one of Xanderghul's clones.


Iomedae wrote:
Aroden wrote:

All that slander. Do I sound dead to you?

For the record: As the god of prophecy, I would see my death coming from a millennium away. I'd take precautions. Being a god of traditions, I'd go with one of the classics. Like hitting on a hundred mortal women and begetting demi-divine progeny to fuel my divine resurrection.

In fact, I'd keep them together and give them a quest. I'd pave the way for this from day 0. I'd instil in them the lust for discovery and create a society just for them, based in my very own city.

interestingly enough... being dead doesn't hut him up... at least I am not the only one who suffer him... but you all too...

well now to keep the ehavens free of demons and continue the campaign to free the universe of evil and chaos! my army to my!

The ungratefulness! Listen to that, people. They use you as a career step stone and when they make it, you're dead to them.

Or are you still mad at me that I didn't include you in my backup plan, the one with all the godspawn. I enjoyed our dates, but you never seemed like a mother to me. Too much career woman in you. Half the time, you're harassing the fiends, and the rest of the time, you're watching your priestesses frolicking with netherspawn and crazy clowns. I can't have a child of mine be abandoned like that, or be exposed to all that violence and debauchery!


All that slander. Do I sound dead to you?

For the record: As the god of prophecy, I would see my death coming from a millennium away. I'd take precautions. Being a god of traditions, I'd go with one of the classics. Like hitting on a hundred mortal women and begetting demi-divine progeny to fuel my divine resurrection.

In fact, I'd keep them together and give them a quest. I'd pave the way for this from day 0. I'd instil in them the lust for discovery and create a society just for them, based in my very own city.


I find your lack of faith disturbing.

And the end of prophecies had nothing to do with my presumed "death" - huge coincidence (and no one saw it coming - HA!).

I was just tired of my chosen people cheating like that. People who use prophecies are the same who use wallhacks and the like.


Sanakht Inaros wrote:
It must be hard when your god dies

What are you talking about? I'm not dead. Definitely not.


Sissyl wrote:
I am amazed that nobody has as of yet discussed dragon genetics here. The blighters are more or less fertile with ANY sort of creature.

Definetly. Try tell Dahak (or even Apsu) that their mortal children can't do that. Ever been burned by divine dragonfire? Wanto to? Then do what I just said.


Let it be known that in days of old, I encountered the so-called "god" of genetics - actually a demon lord. I was disgusted at his weird, completely unmagical view of things, and promptly slew him.

I might have been tricked into it by Calistria, who was appalled by the implications that if elf and human can interbreed, and orc and human can interbreed, there might be the possibility that elf and orc could interbreed. That, along with many other weird combinations, has forever been slain witht their vile patron.

Now, if you want to have crazy stuff like a bear with an owl beak, you'll have to use magic. With magic, everything is still, more or less, possible.


Azzy wrote:
Ughbash wrote:
As the paladin in question, I would have attacked the Demons and tried to save the orphange. If the diabolists also attacked so be it, if they did not then perhaps my sacrafice would give some of the orphans time to escape. I would have died doing the right thing.

I dunno, that doesn't seem to gel with how I'd play the paladin in question.

Were it me, I'd put top priority on saving the orphans. Knowing that I'd have a better chance of success the orphans with the support of the diabolists, I'd rather break the part of my code that says "no hangin' with evil dudes" than the part of my code that says "protect the weak and innocent". It's a lot easier to seek atonement or accept a fallen status than to raise orphans from the dead, after all. Especially when you're dead.

Now that is solid thinking! Get in contact with that chick who took over my business while I'm on walkabout, I'll call her and tell her to accept you as a paladin. I could also put in a good word for you with a number of other deities supporting paladins.

And by the way: You didn't break the code. It says you get to work with those evil people if it serves the greater good. You might still need to go to confessions about it, do some fasting and praying or something else to purify you again, but the days where it's easy to make you fall by putting you in a situation where you have to work with evil in order to stop another evil have gone the way of Azlant.


Wellard wrote:
Discovering what really happened to Aroden...that could involve virtually everywhere and take years of game time

Nothing happened to me! I'm fine. I just took the century off. I'll be back presently.

How many years do you guys put in a century again? And how many days in a year? I always get confused with puny mortal time units.


Krome wrote:
During that time he married a mortal Taldoran woman, Lorian, with whom he fathered twins, a boy and girl.

Married? Fathered? That b**ch! She Boris Beckered me! I'll have a talk with her when I'm back. Not that I'm gone. And I'm definetly not with Asmodeus in Hell.


Kvantum wrote:
Uzzy wrote:
The Last Supper, with all the Iconics. (Though who gets to be Jesus is up for debate!)
Aroden?

But I'm not a mortal son of a deity.


Aroden wrote:
Montalve wrote:
since they are dead they don't demand that much attention

I DEMAND ATTENTION.

Of course, I'm not dead.

Really, I feel fine. I want to go for a walk!

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